Online Cheating

coachblt

Are people on here really looking for hook-ups? Pretty sad and ridiculous if you are...

No it's not.

I am in desperate need of a hook-up. My family reunion photo with my late grandparents fell off the wall last week and I need something to get it back hooked up!

Barbellsandthimbles

I have a few guy friends on here, most of who are married. They have all been respectful and supportive. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship and both trust each other unequivocally. I don't care who he talks to online or in real life because I know he's as faithful to me as I am to him. If you can't trust your partner, who can you trust? He also doesn't mind if I go to dinner with guy friends. That being said. If someone, online or in real life, were to get over feisty or make me feel uncomfortable, we'd have a very honest talk and if they didn't get their crap together that would be the end.

LonLB

Male or female. If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat. Being online makes it easier, sure, but it doesn't mean everyone is going to do it.

Yep. And those that will, probably would offline if the opportunity presented itself.

Italian_Buju

Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

My best friend is male.....we have been close friends for over a decade.....nothing strange has EVER happened between us....men and woman CAN be friends.....it happens....

snoopytwins

If some words and pictures on a screen were enough to make either one of us cheat, our relationship would have been in trouble long before any friendship entered the picture.

^^^^^ This says it all...to me.

amberm912

Having friends of the opposite sex on MFP, FB, TWITTER, or heaven for bid REAL LIFE does not mean you are or WILL cheat on someone. It is all in the person. Everyone has different views and opinions on things so no one will ever agree completely. I believe it is possible it is all about respect and boundaries. If you DO NOT have respect for yourself or your partner and the relationship then you won't care about overstepping the boundaries, and in which WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN THE RELATIONSHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE? You're just asking for trouble lol. Which boundaries are also different in every relationship. That is something that is SET by the two people in the relationship NO ONE ELSE, but if those boundaries are ever overstepped thats when you step up for yourself and correct the situation. If you continue to let someone disrespect your relationship they are going to believe you have no respect for it yourself so why should they care?

If people flirt it can be different than having the urge to cheat. If you have these urges this is the time to step back re evaluate your situation and sit down and COMMUNICATE with your partner. Thats where relationships fail. LACK OF COMMUNICATION! WE ARENT ALL MIND READERS HERE lol..

So I guess what IM saying is NO, having friends of the opposite sex in any aspect of your life does not mean your on the path to cheating...But BEWARE BC YOU WILL OCCASIONALLY MEET THOSE CREEPER MEN OR WOMEN. Its up to you to draw the line :-)


BOOM ...That is all! Good day MFP!



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RobynMWilson

It depends on their intentions. Me being a single girl on here, the married men flock to me pretty quickly, just like on FB, and I get rid of them just as quickly. A homewrecker I am NOT...I'm here for one purpose...to be motivated and to inspire someone else with fitness, not infidelity. I'm not here to find a man or cyber cheat with some dude I never met in person. If a man is willing to cheat on his wife so easily then why would I want him?

marie_cressman

This is definitely an "to each his/her own" opinion. I really don't care whom I'm friends with--as long as he/she is not degrading and mean. Some men may have the same goals, struggles, interests as I do, and that's what matters to me. Heck, how can you really judge by gender? You may be friends with a female who is gay--does that mean that woman is going to hit on you?...doubt it. Like I said earlier...to each his/her own. That being said, I definitely have more female friends....I don't think any guy is going to look at me, and say "Oooh, I'll friend request her; she's hot." That, I'm not! lol.

I think you're hot. Just sayin'. No homo though. LOL

I have to agree. My male friends on here have added me because we have the same interests/goals. Most have sent a message along with the request (just as most of my female friends have) simply stating that they are "inspired" (not that i've done anything to inspire to be honest...) by my accomplishments and are looking for support. That's what I'm here for! I want to support anyone and everyone I can because I wouldn't have gotten this far without the support of friends and family.

placeboaddiction

Sexist post. Life is full of grey areas, nothing is absolute. Respect the individual. Prejudging someone because they are a man or a woman is like judging someone for being of a different race. No one has the choice of what gender or race they are.

pittskaa

men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

I also completely disagree with this- all of my friends are guys in real life (I don't actually have one female friend haha)! Although hanging around lots of guys, they're bound to take the piss and joke about... it's what lads do.

agreed! all of my friends are men also, and they all know and respect that I have a boyfriend and they don't hit on me or anything. We're just friends. Some of them have girlfriends too

LALOCHA34

Male or female. If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat. Being online makes it easier, sure, but it doesn't mean everyone is going to do it.

^ THIS

LonLB

I will say this....I see posts from guys that are downright crazy inappropriate. And percentages tell me that some of them have got to be married.
I am myself. I would never cheat. I've made a flirtatious comment to a couple of people on my friends list, but they know I'm married, and know that's why my stuff isn't some form of vulgar bull****


Some guys use the internet as a license to be a full blown creeper (my one and only time using the word creeper)

saxmaniac

HALF OF MARRIED MEN have reported on CHEATING on their wife. (Love the honesty though)

What? From your article:

"Survey takers guessed that twice as many people are having extramarital affairs as really are, estimating that 44 percent of married men and 36 percent of married women are unfaithful. The reality is it's not as rampant as we think, with 28 percent of married men and 18 percent of married women admitting to having a sexual liaison, the survey found."

Color me stupid, but it looks more like a QUARTER and a FIFTH for men/women.

Meg_78

I'm happily married to the most gorgeous man on earth but I partake in a bit of harmless flirting with both my male and female friends here. Its silly and fun. But it means nothing!

Is your hubby aware of it and if he is, how does he feel about it and does he also flirt? Just curious.

Yes he is and he really doesn't care. I think we are both naturally Flirty with everyone. He is not into social networks so he is definitely more flirty in real life. He works in an office of 90% women and I know there's harmless flirting there. It really just doesn't bother either of us as we would never take it further than a bit of fun. I am totally secure in my self and my relationship with him.

yoovie

- men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

I disagree totally. They do not with me and nor do they with most of the people I know. I think you must have run into more than your fair share of sleaze bags. We're not all "only interested in one thing".

sorry to tar you guys all with the same brush but thats how it seems to be in my experience! its actually good to hear a guy say hes different..there is hope LOL

this is my bestie ♥



we hang out all the time. we sleep in the same bed. we snuggle. we get wasted/hammered/blazed/shtfaced on the regs. At concerts, in the middle of the street, in the hot tub, hotel rooms, on the road, in the van, random peoples backyards, subway platforms.

We've never even almost accidentally drunkenly reached for each other in that manner. We've been like this for years, its a solid necessary relationship - but there is no sexual current between us. Its family, pure and simple. And if that's possible with two little hotties like us, than I believe it is possible round the globe.

I dont have any defined exclusive relationship, but I hope that if I did, he would be fine with me having friends of the opposite sex, either on MFP or out here in the real world.

If something is going to happen and you cant stop it, then the chances are part of you needed it for some valid reason or another... or at the very least, needed the lesson that comes with it.

Yes that was a non-christian answer. Im not getting into morals here, just human behavioral sciences.

sjmgde

I am not friend with the opposite sex on here because they donot need to hear about TOM or anythign else plus i can relate better to the females on here

swest222

Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

Seriously? You cant have a male friend without sex or innuendos coming into the equation? Wow, that's sad, and immature IMO.

I have a handful of very close male friends, that my husband knows as well.
3 are married and one is single and engaged. I hang out with these guys alone and as couples. We've been very close friends forever. In fact we are going on holidays with MY good male friend and his wife/kids this summer for a few days.

I personally dont see any issue. I think it's the individuals. I've never had an issue being JUST FRIENDS with men either online or in real life. It's all about being secure in your relationship.

r1ghtpath

I'm rather amazed this topic is even posted. I'm on here to support people that have a common goal--to lose weight, be more fit and have a better lifestyle.

Are people on here really looking for hook-ups? Pretty sad and ridiculous if you are...

yes, there are people that are looking for hook ups......... they might not have come here LOOKING to hook up, but it can happen once they're here.

opposite sex friends on MFP does not equal cheating. and interacting online doesn't make you cheat. you cheat because you're dissatisfied in your current situation. you might not start off looking to cheat, you might just start off connect with someone that seems to have it all together. then you start talking and sharing more. and if you validate one another it can become that whole grass is greener thing. THEY have what YOU want.

if it was so easy to NOT do it, people wouldn't do it and divorces wouldn't occur because of " finding the one on FB or MFP, or wherever." it happens, and it can happen to the best of us!!

the absolute best example i've ever seen was in 2011. i adopt deployed troops through an organization and i send them notes and cards, and care packages during their entire deployment. i've done this for years and love doing it. i always give out my email addy which goes to yahoo IM and that way they can chat during down time if they so choose.

one guy, liked to chat about just random stuff. was an older guy ( his kids were in their late teens early 20s) who had been in a long time. it was months before he admitted to being married. towards the end of this deployment he started saying things like " i miss you when we don't get to talk." and " will you still chat with me when i get home?" i had to tell him NO. for one, he wasn't supposed to miss me when we didn't talk. i wasn't his wife!!! i was just someone sending care packages and talking from time to time. and NO, he couldn't talk to me after he got home. he had a wife at home that loved him and was anxious to have him back in her life.

i hadn't done anything to encourage him to feel those ways. all i had done was provide an ear that didn't judge, didn't criticize, didn't nag, didn't start a fight, didn't complain, didn't bring issues like unpaid bills, or sick animals, or broken water heaters. he could just talk to me about anything he wanted and i was just there to listen. i was an escape from his reality. BOTH realities, one being Iraq and the other being his life that was full of STUFF!!! full of things he had to deal with. with me, there was NOTHING to deal with. just a friend that expected absolutely nothing in return.

after this, i stopped telling the troops about yahoo IM. i wasn't interested in going down that kind of road again............

Ekoria

I'm happily married to the most gorgeous man on earth but I partake in a bit of harmless flirting with both my male and female friends here. Its silly and fun. But it means nothing!

^ This. My husband trusts me and we are secure enough not to freak out!

BigDaddyBRC

A friend is a friend, anything beyond that, is up to interpretation. If you have insecurity issues, it will only be amplified 10000 times

swest222

Male or female. If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat. Being online makes it easier, sure, but it doesn't mean everyone is going to do it.

Yep. And those that will, probably would offline if the opportunity presented itself.

Completely agree with this.

Jipples

I will say this....I see posts from guys that are downright crazy inappropriate. And percentages tell me that some of them have got to be married.
I am myself. I would never cheat. I've made a flirtatious comment to a couple of people on my friends list, but they know I'm married, and know that's why my stuff isn't some form of vulgar bull****


Some guys use the internet as a license to be a full blown creeper (my one and only time using the word creeper)

I agree.....blatant and vulgar comments are out of line, assuming the recipient feels they are.

I'm married and I have plenty of female friends on here....some I flirt with more than others. In my situation, I feel it's harmless......I have absolutely ZERO desire to take a road trip and "hook-up". But do I like to flirt, hell yes. My wife would tell you the same.

yo_andi

men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

WOW! Generalizing much? Maybe YOU cannot be friends with men who are not your husband but leave the rest of us out of your generalization thank you very much.

Jipples

HALF OF MARRIED MEN have reported on CHEATING on their wife. (Love the honesty though)

What? From your article:

"Survey takers guessed that twice as many people are having extramarital affairs as really are, estimating that 44 percent of married men and 36 percent of married women are unfaithful. The reality is it's not as rampant as we think, with 28 percent of married men and 18 percent of married women admitting to having a sexual liaison, the survey found."

Color me stupid, but it looks more like a QUARTER and a FIFTH for men/women.

I disagree....I think it's more than the 44 and 36 percent. The problem with these types of surveys is you have to have people admit to an affair. A lot people wouldn't, even under anonymity.

yoovie

men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

WOW! Generalizing much? Maybe YOU cannot be friends with men who are not your husband but leave the rest of us out of your generalization thank you very much.

she was born without that moral compass thing/self control thingie that people are always btching about

amillerwvu

This is definitely an "to each his/her own" opinion. I really don't care whom I'm friends with--as long as he/she is not degrading and mean. Some men may have the same goals, struggles, interests as I do, and that's what matters to me. Heck, how can you really judge by gender? You may be friends with a female who is gay--does that mean that woman is going to hit on you?...doubt it. Like I said earlier...to each his/her own. That being said, I definitely have more female friends....I don't think any guy is going to look at me, and say "Oooh, I'll friend request her; she's hot." That, I'm not! lol.

I think you're hot. Just sayin'. No homo though. LOL

I have to agree. My male friends on here have added me because we have the same interests/goals. Most have sent a message along with the request (just as most of my female friends have) simply stating that they are "inspired" (not that i've done anything to inspire to be honest...) by my accomplishments and are looking for support. That's what I'm here for! I want to support anyone and everyone I can because I wouldn't have gotten this far without the support of friends and family.

That's why I asked you to be my friend...inspiration:) Your story is amazing to me! It gives me hope. Women always call each other hot...:) gotta love it!

7funnygirl7

Hearing all the stories about people cheating on their spouses, what is your take on having friends of the opposite sex at MyFitnessPal?

In my "real" life I don't have male friends, so it is awesome to have them on here. My male pals motivate me differently than my female friends and I have found a great balance of them both during my journey. The flirting I give & receive is just a nice friendly bonus. My male pals ROCK!

kumitekg

I think it's a very fine line between cheating and not cheating, and a lot of it does have to do with how you and your SO view cheating.

I think with the start of social media networking, IMing, smart phones, etc it has made it much easier and tempting to fall into something like cheating, whether it was originally meant to be that way or not.

I think people need to step back and think: "If my partner was doing this, would I be happy with them?"

Sometimes stops things in its track.

This.

yo_andi

men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

WOW! Generalizing much? Maybe YOU cannot be friends with men who are not your husband but leave the rest of us out of your generalization thank you very much.

she was born without that moral compass thing/self control thingie that people are always btching about

Aw poor thing! I don't know if I can continue hanging out with my bestie anymore, in fear that he's been trying to hook up with me for the past 10 years or something!

adrian_indy

I'm here for one thing only, sex with strangers. For the last year I have lulled my female friends on MFP from across the nation into a false sense of security by giving praise and encouragement, jokes, and the occasional flirtation so that one day I could potentially fly around the country to bang all of them.