I'm getting a little tired of this to be honest
Replies
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To the MFP veterans: It's January. All the new people who haven't figured out how MFP works yet are bombarding the forums with the same questions over and over and over again. I suspect most of them have never been on an internet forum at all either, which makes things really frustrating when they get offended by things that are never meant to be offensive. It happens every single year. If it's a problem for you, just avoid the forums until about March. Otherwise, just suck it up, tread lightly, and ride it out like the rest of us do.
For those of you who are new, please realize that you ARE welcome here. However, it's considered a common courtesy to others on any forum to use the search feature to see if you can answer your questions without posting a new topic. This is very beneficial to you also as you can often learn a whole lot more than just what you were asking and can often find the information you need more readily than if you started a new post. If you don't find an answer to your question or if you're confused about what you read, please post a new thread and ask. That's what it's there for, and I hope that you will use the resources here to your advantage.
Furthermore, some people may crack jokes. These jokes are 90% of the time not at your expense but at the expense of bad information. Many of us here have worked very hard to make sure that the propagation of fad diets, weight loss pills, and starvation diets is as limited as possible. This is GOOD for the community and you. Having the right information and knowledge under your belt is the difference between success and failure for most people. When you report someone for making a humorous post because you are "offended" please take a moment to realize that you really cannot convey tone via internet. Unless there is a direct insult (name-calling, etc.), you really have no idea if that post was intended to be offensive or not. By reporting people for things that are "borderline", you may risk them getting banned entirely which is exceptionally unfair if all they were doing was adding a little humor to your post. This is especially true for people who have been here a while and have contributed thousands of helpful and wise posts that have helped many people. You're essentially eliminating a potentially good resource for you and others on here and making the community even worse because you misinterpreted what they said to you and got defensive. That being said, if someone does name-call you or directly attack you, please report them. Bullying (real bullying) should not be tolerated here, and I don't think anyone will disagree with that at all.
Long story short, try not to take things so personally when you're first here. This is a great and resourceful community. Just like in real life, you may have to deal with people that don't quite "mesh" with your personality. Deal with it by ignoring those people and moving on. Focus on the people who do offer good support and that you get along with.0 -
I've been reporting posts that insult other members. This is a large forum, and the moderators cannot get to every offensive post (of which there are many). I recommend everyone else do the same--report posts to the mods instead of engaging with the trolls, or just step away from the discussions.
that's not really fair
1. you cant tell when its two friends insulting each other
2. everyone's definition of offensive is different
3. if you get reported by three people, who did not actually get their feelings hurt- and just felt like clicking report report report for fun instead of ignoring it... then you get permanently banned. That's a harsh punishment for not even hurting someone's feelings and making a joke with someone on your friends list.
Way harsh.
Dont run around banning people from the forums just because you think there should be one standard kind of humor or interaction on here.
please?
Like I said somewhere else today, long time, successful users will be banned thanks to people who've been on the site for a month.
That's just not good at all.
Historically, at least, it seems that earning strikes has been far more dependent on having gained one or more "haters" and not on the actual content of the posts. I have no doubt that most people who have made >1000 posts will have at least a dozen "technically in violation" posts.
At one time, I thought that the Community Guidelines (all hail) were written so broadly just so they *could* take care of someone causing problems and use the CG as support...which, honestly, big picture, makes sense. However, having seen some of the posts that have actually resulted in strikes (and having received one for an "in" type post myself), I no longer see it that way. I've also seen it happen many times that in a thread full of hundreds of posts, blatant violations go untouched while far lesser violations are nuked and given a strike.
And don't assume that just because your post is old that it's no longer "in play". My strike for that "in" post was for a two-month old post. Apparently, there is no statute of limitations (or if there is, it's more than two months).
Now, could someone go through the threads eman resurrected and do a "Where are they now?" update on all of the OPs? I haven't looked at any of them, but I have some hypotheses about correlations between those who make these "why is everyone so mean?" posts and their success.
Maybe jof, but in this case it's anybody who p!sses a certain person off.0 -
i saw a post yesterday about a woman who had had a child and was wondering if her stomach would ever go back to "normal." a brave woman posted her amazing progress in her journey and the OP cruelly hated on the woman by saying she would rather adopt in the future because there was no way in hell she'd ever want to look like that (paraphrasing).
Did you read what all the "cool" kids did to that woman? She was reported, called out, and asked to apologize for her comment. Not a single other person agreed with her.
These types of events happen when you get a large group of people together no matter where you are. Seeing the community come together to let this lady know how awful and vile her comments were should've clued you in that people like that are a rarity here.0 -
This needs its own thread.To the MFP veterans: It's January. All the new people who haven't figured out how MFP works yet are bombarding the forums with the same questions over and over and over again. I suspect most of them have never been on an internet forum at all either, which makes things really frustrating when they get offended by things that are never meant to be offensive. It happens every single year. If it's a problem for you, just avoid the forums until about March. Otherwise, just suck it up, tread lightly, and ride it out like the rest of us do.
For those of you who are new, please realize that you ARE welcome here. However, it's considered a common courtesy to others on any forum to use the search feature to see if you can answer your questions without posting a new topic. This is very beneficial to you also as you can often learn a whole lot more than just what you were asking and can often find the information you need more readily than if you started a new post. If you don't find an answer to your question or if you're confused about what you read, please post a new thread and ask. That's what it's there for, and I hope that you will use the resources here to your advantage.
Furthermore, some people may crack jokes. These jokes are 90% of the time not at your expense but at the expense of bad information. Many of us here have worked very hard to make sure that the propagation of fad diets, weight loss pills, and starvation diets is as limited as possible. This is GOOD for the community and you. Having the right information and knowledge under your belt is the difference between success and failure for most people. When you report someone for making a humorous post because you are "offended" please take a moment to realize that you really cannot convey tone via internet. Unless there is a direct insult (name-calling, etc.), you really have no idea if that post was intended to be offensive or not. By reporting people for things that are "borderline", you may risk them getting banned entirely which is exceptionally unfair if all they were doing was adding a little humor to your post. This is especially true for people who have been here a while and have contributed thousands of helpful and wise posts that have helped many people. You're essentially eliminating a potentially good resource for you and others on here and making the community even worse because you misinterpreted what they said to you and got defensive. That being said, if someone does name-call you or directly attack you, please report them. Bullying (real bullying) should not be tolerated here, and I don't think anyone will disagree with that at all.
Long story short, try not to take things so personally when you're first here. This is a great and resourceful community. Just like in real life, you may have to deal with people that don't quite "mesh" with your personality. Deal with it by ignoring those people and moving on. Focus on the people who do offer good support and that you get along with.0 -
This thread is from August. It should be buried. None of this argument ever needed to happen.
SO stupid!0 -
i saw a post yesterday about a woman who had had a child and was wondering if her stomach would ever go back to "normal." a brave woman posted her amazing progress in her journey and the OP cruelly hated on the woman by saying she would rather adopt in the future because there was no way in hell she'd ever want to look like that (paraphrasing).
Did you read what all the "cool" kids did to that woman? She was reported, called out, and asked to apologize for her comment. Not a single other person agreed with her.
These types of events happen when you get a large group of people together no matter where you are. Seeing the community come together to let this lady know how awful and vile her comments were should've clued you in that people like that are a rarity here.
I agree. Mfp is really a great bunch of people and they do stand up for each other when someone is actually cruel.0 -
Very well said! I left MFP for awhile, in part because of the pervasive negativity. It's just such a drain to read people battering upon each other. I've used Spark People too, and oddly enough, there are very few rude, condescending remarks in that community. Even now that I'm back using MFP, I still try to stay away from the posts, because even if they're not aimed at me, I don't care to read hypercritical, non-motivational comments to others who are struggling or beginning their health and fitness journey.
I've seen the sparkpeople forums too...and they were remarkably devoid of solid information. They were, however, full of the typical Dr. Oz, raspberry ketones, fat-burners, soup diets, juice cleanses, detoxes, etc.
I don't understand how people aren't able to see these differences...and I find that far more frustrating than a few threads that spiral out of control. Working in an environment without people willing to engage in an exchange of information is a dangerous place.
/caring
*ragequit*0 -
This thread is from August. It should be buried. None of this argument ever needed to happen.
SO stupid!
i have to disagree...(please dont report me)
the conversation had to happen somewhere...since someone has decided to look for things to report...it would have happened somewhere or other0 -
This thread is from August. It should be buried. None of this argument ever needed to happen.
SO stupid!
i have to disagree...(please dont report me)
the conversation had to happen somewhere...since someone has decided to look for things to report...it would have happened somewhere or other
It never needed to happen. Someone thought it would be funny to bump old threads complaining about mean people even though there were already multiple threads on the topic as it is. They wanted to laugh as everyone argued against nothing.
People fell for it and got banned for it.
I just want to hear if they still think it was so funny.0 -
Before this gets out of hand..
You all are arguing with a post made back in August.
And just so we're all clear, eman should be taken out behind the shed and beaten.
Well, that, or he should be given a medal.
Honestly, I'm not sure which one it is right now. I guess we could flip a coin.
Well judging by the number of my friends who've been banned for their replies to those threads I'm gonna hold off on giving him a medal just yet...
I don't know that I can pin the blame on the necromancer though. And resurrecting the threads isn't the problem...it's the system. Like you said, their banning is inevitable. Whether it's a few threads like these, or some other lively debate threads, the strikes will come...because like I've said many times before, nearly every active user of the MFP forums has dozens of strikes and it's just a matter of someone taking the time to report them.
(And yeah, I know, by posting this observation, I'm making myself an easy target. Whatever. I've been overdue for my six-month MFP forum vacation for a while now. To those of you who take delight in reporting posts, please do me a favor: at least make it the *good* posts. Not the lazy one-liners that require an explanation of the context to understand. Nah, make them for my novellas that I occasionally post. Besides, it should be easier to find technically-in-violation remarks in those long posts anyhow.)0 -
This thread is from August. It should be buried. None of this argument ever needed to happen.
SO stupid!
i have to disagree...(please dont report me)
the conversation had to happen somewhere...since someone has decided to look for things to report...it would have happened somewhere or other
It never needed to happen. Someone thought it would be funny to bump old threads complaining about mean people even though there were already multiple threads on the topic as it is. They wanted to laugh as everyone argued against nothing.
People fell for it and got banned for it.
I just want to hear if they still think it was so funny.
Wait. You mean people were stricken/banned today for their posts they made months ago? Or they made new posts in the thread that led to strikes/banning?0 -
Wait. You mean people were stricken/banned today for their posts they made months ago? Or they made new posts in the thread that led to strikes/banning?
I know of at least two who were banned today based on posts made months ago that were resurrected then pounced on by people who found them "offensive." In at least one of those cases, the "offending" remark was taken completely out of context and was intended to be funny.0 -
And the ones I know were banned for posts made today. So congratulations to the various thread necromancers. You really got people good. 3 of the funniest people I know are banned now. Yay.0
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Wait. You mean people were stricken/banned today for their posts they made months ago? Or they made new posts in the thread that led to strikes/banning?
I know of at least two who were banned today based on posts made months ago that were resurrected then pounced on by people who found them "offensive."
This almost never happens, but I'm speechless...(er, type-less. Hmm, still not right. At a loss for words. Yeah, that works).
ETA: I still say it's the system that is flawed.0 -
ETA: I still say it's the system that is flawed.
I completely agree with you.
If this kind of moderation continues, MFP is going to end up just like spark with nothing but craptastic information and no discourse.0 -
ETA: I still say it's the system that is flawed.
I completely agree with you.
If this kind of moderation continues, MFP is going to end up just like spark with nothing but craptastic information and no discourse.
and that's exactly the way the people who don't want their feelings hurt or don't want to have to defend or prove their silly and dangerous assertions, want it.0 -
ETA: I still say it's the system that is flawed.
I completely agree with you.
If this kind of moderation continues, MFP is going to end up just like spark with nothing but craptastic information and no discourse.
and that's exactly the way the people who don't want their feelings hurt or don't want to have to defend or prove their silly and dangerous assertions, want it.
In the end, it's not what these people want, but how the admins and mods steer the community in what determines how the community will function. If the mods continue to be so blase about reporting (not checking for context, assuming the worst about reported posts, not taking into consideration the reported person's total contribution to the site and others, etc.), then this is where we're going. It's a privately run website. There's only so much us users can control about how it runs.0 -
The mods are doing the banning, not I. I assume they have rules that they use to decide when a comment crosses the line between playful banter and attack. (And by the way, it's usually pretty clear from the context when someone is attacking a new person who can't possibly be friends with the attacker.)
My rule for behaving on the internet is that when I start worrying about being misinterpreted for something I write, I don't write it. It really works quite well--I've never been banned from anywhere.
I've looked and a number of your posts could be reported. Not being supportive, foul language...
Now I would never report you for that. It seems like you're a smart person and helpful user. But someone else could for whatever reason and you would be banned.
I prefer a world where we don't all run around seeing how fast we can tell on each other. Because you never know when it might come back to bite you.
Wish she had listened :frown:0 -
ETA: I still say it's the system that is flawed.
I completely agree with you.
If this kind of moderation continues, MFP is going to end up just like spark with nothing but craptastic information and no discourse.
I send them there for a sweeter, more hand holding community.
meanwhile, this is how you look when you try to do lunges after squatting.
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To the MFP veterans: It's January. All the new people who haven't figured out how MFP works yet are bombarding the forums with the same questions over and over and over again. I suspect most of them have never been on an internet forum at all either, which makes things really frustrating when they get offended by things that are never meant to be offensive. It happens every single year. If it's a problem for you, just avoid the forums until about March. Otherwise, just suck it up, tread lightly, and ride it out like the rest of us do.
For those of you who are new, please realize that you ARE welcome here. However, it's considered a common courtesy to others on any forum to use the search feature to see if you can answer your questions without posting a new topic. This is very beneficial to you also as you can often learn a whole lot more than just what you were asking and can often find the information you need more readily than if you started a new post. If you don't find an answer to your question or if you're confused about what you read, please post a new thread and ask. That's what it's there for, and I hope that you will use the resources here to your advantage.
Furthermore, some people may crack jokes. These jokes are 90% of the time not at your expense but at the expense of bad information. Many of us here have worked very hard to make sure that the propagation of fad diets, weight loss pills, and starvation diets is as limited as possible. This is GOOD for the community and you. Having the right information and knowledge under your belt is the difference between success and failure for most people. When you report someone for making a humorous post because you are "offended" please take a moment to realize that you really cannot convey tone via internet. Unless there is a direct insult (name-calling, etc.), you really have no idea if that post was intended to be offensive or not. By reporting people for things that are "borderline", you may risk them getting banned entirely which is exceptionally unfair if all they were doing was adding a little humor to your post. This is especially true for people who have been here a while and have contributed thousands of helpful and wise posts that have helped many people. You're essentially eliminating a potentially good resource for you and others on here and making the community even worse because you misinterpreted what they said to you and got defensive. That being said, if someone does name-call you or directly attack you, please report them. Bullying (real bullying) should not be tolerated here, and I don't think anyone will disagree with that at all.
Long story short, try not to take things so personally when you're first here. This is a great and resourceful community. Just like in real life, you may have to deal with people that don't quite "mesh" with your personality. Deal with it by ignoring those people and moving on. Focus on the people who do offer good support and that you get along with.
New users have the right to ask the same questions that have been asked because when regarding health and diet, information changes so frequently and users are coming to the site by the dozens everyday that it gives them the opportunity to share both new and redundant information. Yes, common courtesy is a player but that goes both ways. It is not common courtesy for people to brow beat new users for not choosing to search old forums before posting their questions and they shouldn't be discouraged for asking for the information again. Some may not realize there is a way to search old forums... I didn't know it at first. General rule is if this happens, advise politely "you can search old topics if you'd like but here is what I know of the subject.... and in the event you'd like to see old posts on this topic you could try reviewing this thread (insert link). It polite and handles all needs of the OP0 -
Oh, and personally, the forum search feature here is so awful, I don't even fault people for not using it before posting their (recurring) questions.0
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New users have the right to ask the same questions that have been asked because when regarding health and diet, information changes so frequently and users are coming to the site by the dozens everyday that it gives them the opportunity to share both new and redundant information.
The basic information doesn't really change that often at all. I can see how someone new would assume that though.Yes, common courtesy is a player but that goes both ways. It is not common courtesy for people to brow beat new users for not choosing to search old forums before posting their questions and they shouldn't be discouraged for asking for the information again. Some may not realize there is a way to search old forums... I didn't know it at first. General rule is if this happens, advise politely "you can search old topics if you'd like but here is what I know of the subject.... and in the event you'd like to see old posts on this topic you could try reviewing this thread (insert link). It polite and handles all needs of the OP
All of this I agree with also.
My point is that there are a lot of new people who come in around January every year, and we end up with 10-20 of the EXACT same questions being posted ad nauseum (sometimes 5 threads on the same question posted every single day). This is not only bad for the people who've been here a while who have to try to sort through it all to get to the posts that aren't redundant, but it's bad for the new people as well who likely will not get decent answers to those questions when a simple search would suffice to answer most of what they're inquiring about. A whole lot of the frustration on both sides can be eliminated by encouraging people who are new to do more searches for previous threads.0 -
I've learned a LOT from the forums - I can't thank the knowledgeable members enough, because they've changed my life!!! - and I'd say about 99.9% of what I learned was from reading threads, not asking questions and starting new threads.
For instance, about two years ago, I saw a thread on something called "exercise calories." WTF is that? So I clicked it, and learned that I'm supposed to eat them. I think I was anyway, but not always. Later, I learned that it's best to not net below 1200. Then I learned the benefits of getting more protein than MFP suggests, and what amazing things strength training does to a woman's body. And I didn't have to ask a thing. The info was all here. I just had to have a thirst for knowledge... and a near-crippling forum addiction. :ohwell: Sure, it's a little more time consuming than asking questions, and if I had a specific question, I'd sure as hell ask it, but browsing the forums was sure a better use of time than Mafia Wars and Farmville on Facebook.0 -
I agree 100%... !!!!0
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Very well said, thank you0
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Very well said! I left MFP for awhile, in part because of the pervasive negativity. It's just such a drain to read people battering upon each other. I've used Spark People too, and oddly enough, there are very few rude, condescending remarks in that community. Even now that I'm back using MFP, I still try to stay away from the posts, because even if they're not aimed at me, I don't care to read hypercritical, non-motivational comments to others who are struggling or beginning their health and fitness journey.
can you post a link to an example?
in 4 months i've never seen such posts. i've seen people debunk bad information. i've seen people get into arguments where they were less than polite with each other, but that was always a 2-way street. however, i have not seen anyone on here jump on a new or struggling person just for the sake of doing so, as you have implied with your declarative statement above.
:huh:
Just in this thread alone, how about this one: "Op should really consider changing username to preachyxoxo"
Winnervictori, half the members who have posted on this thread alone have complained about the snarkiness and bullying that goes on here, especially in the "Chit Chat" forum, so why is it that you can't see the forest through your rose coloured glasses?0 -
Very well said! I left MFP for awhile, in part because of the pervasive negativity. It's just such a drain to read people battering upon each other. I've used Spark People too, and oddly enough, there are very few rude, condescending remarks in that community. Even now that I'm back using MFP, I still try to stay away from the posts, because even if they're not aimed at me, I don't care to read hypercritical, non-motivational comments to others who are struggling or beginning their health and fitness journey.
can you post a link to an example?
in 4 months i've never seen such posts. i've seen people debunk bad information. i've seen people get into arguments where they were less than polite with each other, but that was always a 2-way street. however, i have not seen anyone on here jump on a new or struggling person just for the sake of doing so, as you have implied with your declarative statement above.
:huh:
Just in this thread alone, how about this one: "Op should really consider changing username to preachyxoxo"
Winnervictori, half the members who have posted on this thread alone have complained about the snarkiness and bullying that goes on here, especially in the "Chit Chat" forum, so why is it that you can't see the forest through your rose coloured glasses?
I just now noticed that OP's u/n is "peachyxoxoxo" so I didn't get the joke the first time. (Get it? peachyxoxo...pReachyxoxo...because she was "preaching" her opinion to the MFP congregation.)
Heh heh...that's actually pretty funny.
Unlike calling someone out for being shortsighted and accusing them of being unable to grasp certain (obvious-to-this-poster) nuances of this thread. That isn't funny at all and is actually quite mean.0 -
Very well said! I left MFP for awhile, in part because of the pervasive negativity. It's just such a drain to read people battering upon each other. I've used Spark People too, and oddly enough, there are very few rude, condescending remarks in that community. Even now that I'm back using MFP, I still try to stay away from the posts, because even if they're not aimed at me, I don't care to read hypercritical, non-motivational comments to others who are struggling or beginning their health and fitness journey.
can you post a link to an example?
in 4 months i've never seen such posts. i've seen people debunk bad information. i've seen people get into arguments where they were less than polite with each other, but that was always a 2-way street. however, i have not seen anyone on here jump on a new or struggling person just for the sake of doing so, as you have implied with your declarative statement above.
:huh:
Just in this thread alone, how about this one: "Op should really consider changing username to preachyxoxo"
Winnervictori, half the members who have posted on this thread alone have complained about the snarkiness and bullying that goes on here, especially in the "Chit Chat" forum, so why is it that you can't see the forest through your rose coloured glasses?
I just now noticed that OP's u/n is "peachyxoxoxo" so I didn't get the joke the first time. (Get it? peachyxoxo...pReachyxoxo...because she was "preaching" her opinion to the MFP congregation.)
Heh heh...that's actually pretty funny.
Unlike calling someone out for being shortsighted and accusing them of being unable to grasp certain (obvious-to-this-poster) nuances of this thread. That isn't funny at all and is actually quite mean.
So I guess the majority of people here who have witnessed snarkiness and/or bullying in this forum at one time or another are just wrong, in your opinion?
Wow.0 -
I've learned a LOT from the forums - I can't thank the knowledgeable members enough, because they've changed my life!!! - and I'd say about 99.9% of what I learned was from reading threads, not asking questions and starting new threads.
For instance, about two years ago, I saw a thread on something called "exercise calories." WTF is that? So I clicked it, and learned that I'm supposed to eat them. I think I was anyway, but not always. Later, I learned that it's best to not net below 1200. Then I learned the benefits of getting more protein than MFP suggests, and what amazing things strength training does to a woman's body. And I didn't have to ask a thing. The info was all here. I just had to have a thirst for knowledge... and a near-crippling forum addiction. :ohwell: Sure, it's a little more time consuming than asking questions, and if I had a specific question, I'd sure as hell ask it, but browsing the forums was sure a better use of time than Mafia Wars and Farmville on Facebook.
^ This.
In fact, eight or nine months ago I stumbled across a post by someone named LorinaLynn advocating weight lifting and NOT listening to the flawed information that you'll bulk up, you'll look manly, etc....
0 -
Very well said! I left MFP for awhile, in part because of the pervasive negativity. It's just such a drain to read people battering upon each other. I've used Spark People too, and oddly enough, there are very few rude, condescending remarks in that community. Even now that I'm back using MFP, I still try to stay away from the posts, because even if they're not aimed at me, I don't care to read hypercritical, non-motivational comments to others who are struggling or beginning their health and fitness journey.
can you post a link to an example?
in 4 months i've never seen such posts. i've seen people debunk bad information. i've seen people get into arguments where they were less than polite with each other, but that was always a 2-way street. however, i have not seen anyone on here jump on a new or struggling person just for the sake of doing so, as you have implied with your declarative statement above.
:huh:
Just in this thread alone, how about this one: "Op should really consider changing username to preachyxoxo"
Winnervictori, half the members who have posted on this thread alone have complained about the snarkiness and bullying that goes on here, especially in the "Chit Chat" forum, so why is it that you can't see the forest through your rose coloured glasses?
I just now noticed that OP's u/n is "peachyxoxoxo" so I didn't get the joke the first time. (Get it? peachyxoxo...pReachyxoxo...because she was "preaching" her opinion to the MFP congregation.)
Heh heh...that's actually pretty funny.
Unlike calling someone out for being shortsighted and accusing them of being unable to grasp certain (obvious-to-this-poster) nuances of this thread. That isn't funny at all and is actually quite mean.
So I guess the majority of people here who have witnessed snarkiness and/or bullying in this forum at one time or another are just wrong, in your opinion?
Wow.
This is called a strawman argument.
I think many issues on MFP could be traced to logical fallacies.0
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