Body Envy /rant
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Lol, that's a lie I fell for as well (did comms).
I understand where you're coming from. If at some point you found yourself in a situation that supported further education, though, you could think about instructional design/educational technologies/e-learning (designing/planning training materials). There's money in it, and it's not a million miles away from your degree.
This could be supported by a lateral move at your current place of employment, if you could swing it - towards eg document processing, developing/formatting training materials, training of any kind.
Usability is another area at least tangentially related to your education.
Wishing you luck.
edit: lots of the courses in the areas I mentioned are available on a distance or part-time basis, through continuing ed departments at universities and colleges. Graduate schools offer these too (also via distance, & PT).
I kinda applied for some of those jobs and they wanted more experience. I don't know if they have degrees specific to training stuff. I also applied for underwriting jobs but they also wanted more experience. My work funds degrees in engineering and health insurance, there's a third one but I forget what it was. I'd have to be working there for 3 years though I think. I got 2 years and 9 months to go! That is if they don't lay me off. I'd probably go for the health insurance to help with underwriting or something. Right now I'm saving up for a car so I can learn to drive and move out and live with my boyfriend. After which I'll figure something out. I don't know. Grad school is too expensive for me I'm afraid. I could go back for a 2 year quick associates in something useful. I don't know. *sigh*
Don't want to beat you over the head with advice, but can't help offering a bit more... if you can fake loving the **** out of your **** job now - being a keener, playing politics, making yourself indispensable, etc - it will be easier to get opportunities to train others from where you are. Which would help, obviously. And will, of course, take time.
Working up/sideways from within, towards a goal like that - "I want to become a trainer" - might make things slightly more bearable, too.
Done with advice giving now!
I actually am looking into becoming a trainer so I'm already doing that. Thanks for the help. :P0 -
Guilty :P booo!0
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I had to go through this the past year (long story). Bottom line: Be the absolute best YOU that you can be... or at least, be ok with you. Knowing your own physical limitations is a tough pill to swallow. I feel your pain. But... we truly are our own worst critics.
During the past six months I've looked at myself so many times in the mirror... and the spectrum spanned total disgust to thinking I'm a total hottie. So... it's relative. Perception of beauty is subjective to some extent, and there is also science behind it.
But... life is short. Use what you've got to its potential.0 -
guilty as well. i'm 4'11 and i know that no matter how much weight i lose, i will never have the body i want because i will always be short. i try to find inspiration in other women my height, and i see that nearly everyone in the "petite" category has relatively stumpy looking appendages. i'll never have long graceful legs and i'll never be waifish, and i'm okay with that. i CAN, however, continue transitioning my body from something short and squishy to something small and compact with curves in the right places. sometimes i wish i could ditch my T&A, but then i remember how my stick figure friends wish they had assets like mine and i feel silly knowing that some women spend thousands of dollars for tits like these.
it's your body -- and by the way you're describing yourself, it sounds like you'd hate it even if you could somehow morph into an asian k-pop princess. maybe you need to focus on working out your attitude and self-image perception in your head while also working out your body. feeling beautiful isn't about what you see in the MIRROR but what you see in YOUR SELF.0 -
Here's one larger framed TV actress for you: Laura Prepon (Donna from That 70's show) She is stunning, and probably a more realistic fitness goal for someone with large bone structure (including me, 5'10" and polish/scandanavian)0
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Grass is greener? Korea has the highest volume of clients for plastic surgery in asia (percentage wise)
You never will look like a korean woman, you're not korean, even if it is just bodyshape, people are built differently and koren girls have got very slim natural builds, hows about going for a blonde bombshell instead? A porcelin ice queen? A roman goddess?
Comparing yourself in such a way could become quite destructive, when you hit your goal weight, you will look fabulous, don't throw all that effort and hard work away for an unrealistic goal.
(this is from personal experience, I wanted to look like belle from beauty and the beast when I was younger, at a size 2 I still thought I looked fat cos I wasn't as skinny as her, yes she was a cartoon character and yes I knew that, but it didn't kind of sink in)
Ice queen? Isn't that another term for being a cold-hearted *****? I may be misinterpreting you. Although I kinda see what you're saying. I guess I'll just never visit Asia. Because even if I hit my goal weight, I'd look like a mammoth next to the locals. >.<
I used to pray that I would hit puberty and turn into an Asian so I would be super thin and pretty forever. Obviously I never got my wish. Instead I hit puberty, gained a bunch of weight and am still struggling with it today. So I never got to be a pretty girl and have no self confidence and never feel good enough.
Unfortunately this is what our society crams into our brains, skinny=pretty. I don't think this could be farther from the truth!
I think you are totally selling yourself short. Just because you are not stick thin doesn't mean you aren't pretty. In fact just the opposite! I think you are very pretty!0 -
I actually am looking into becoming a trainer so I'm already doing that. Thanks for the help. :P
In that case, am happy to confirm that your thinking is logical (on the assumption that mine is, as well)
FYI, as a starting point for any googling re quals - they might be called an MA or Cert in 'Adult Education', 'Instructional Technology', 'Instructional Design', 'E-Learning', etc. Check with professional associations and refer to job listings to see what's most relevant in your hood.0 -
Grass is greener? Korea has the highest volume of clients for plastic surgery in asia (percentage wise)
You never will look like a korean woman, you're not korean, even if it is just bodyshape, people are built differently and koren girls have got very slim natural builds, hows about going for a blonde bombshell instead? A porcelin ice queen? A roman goddess?
Comparing yourself in such a way could become quite destructive, when you hit your goal weight, you will look fabulous, don't throw all that effort and hard work away for an unrealistic goal.
(this is from personal experience, I wanted to look like belle from beauty and the beast when I was younger, at a size 2 I still thought I looked fat cos I wasn't as skinny as her, yes she was a cartoon character and yes I knew that, but it didn't kind of sink in)
Ice queen? Isn't that another term for being a cold-hearted *****? I may be misinterpreting you. Although I kinda see what you're saying. I guess I'll just never visit Asia. Because even if I hit my goal weight, I'd look like a mammoth next to the locals. >.<
I used to pray that I would hit puberty and turn into an Asian so I would be super thin and pretty forever. Obviously I never got my wish. Instead I hit puberty, gained a bunch of weight and am still struggling with it today. So I never got to be a pretty girl and have no self confidence and never feel good enough.
Unfortunately this is what our society crams into our brains, skinny=pretty. I don't think this could be farther from the truth!
I think you are totally selling yourself short. Just because you are not stick thin doesn't mean you aren't pretty. In fact just the opposite! I think you are very pretty!
Thank you. This is something I've always struggled with. Despite what I posted here, I have gotten a lot better. I used to be suicidal and considering I haven't attempted anything like that in years and kicked my anti depressant 2 years ago, I'm really doing well. I just have a down day, usually around the TOM due to my hormones making me weepy and sad. Hopefully it gets better as I get older.0 -
guilty as well. i'm 4'11 and i know that no matter how much weight i lose, i will never have the body i want because i will always be short. i try to find inspiration in other women my height, and i see that nearly everyone in the "petite" category has relatively stumpy looking appendages. i'll never have long graceful legs and i'll never be waifish, and i'm okay with that. i CAN, however, continue transitioning my body from something short and squishy to something small and compact with curves in the right places. sometimes i wish i could ditch my T&A, but then i remember how my stick figure friends wish they had assets like mine and i feel silly knowing that some women spend thousands of dollars for tits like these.
it's your body -- and by the way you're describing yourself, it sounds like you'd hate it even if you could somehow morph into an asian k-pop princess. maybe you need to focus on working out your attitude and self-image perception in your head while also working out your body. feeling beautiful isn't about what you see in the MIRROR but what you see in YOUR SELF.
I do need to work on this. I'm super critical of myself and I don't understand why. Maybe it's in my perfectionist nature.0 -
The only comparison you need to make is you now vs. 78 pounds ago. Don't you feel great now??? I have lost 24 pounds and I feel awesome. I don't need to be the skinniest woman in the room or the one with the perkiest boobs, roundest boo-tay or any of that. I am becoming the best version of moi:)0
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you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. you can do it babe
I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.
Can you find anyone with something more like your build to admire, i.e. a more realistic goal?0 -
Guilty. And annoyed at the people on this thread (and elsewhere) that say you're (we're) just not trying hard enough -- no matter how hard I try, including severe ED (which is so not an option), there is no way I can ever have the body of someone whose entire body can fit in between my hip bones, with room to spare. Ain't gonna happen.0
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you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. you can do it babe
I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.
there are german women who are stunning with beautiful bodies you could be one of them its all your in attitude .. by having that attitude which you said above you won't do it because your not believing in yourself and have already lost the battle... who cares if your bigger bone embrace it and work it to your advantage girl... tone and shape it
Technically I'm an Irish, Scottish, English and Swedish (the side that I believe I share more of it's traits). I don't know of many large framed petite women with beautiful bodies on TV. I believe I'll hit my goal of 150, I just think it won't be enough to make me look good and I'm not sure if I can be much smaller than that with my bone and muscle structure unless I lose muscle and bone mass. >.<
It really makes me sad to read this... Your right you will never look like some of the people you see on TV, unless you are going to have ribs saved, lipo suction, sray tan abs, boob jobs, I mean this list could go on. This isnt just for you but for many of us who are in this battle together. I personally think Queen latifah is a beautiful woman and she embrasses who she is and how she looks. There are plenty of women in the spot light that are not a size 4.
Reality is... We are not super stars, actors, singers, or in the public spot light (well most of us) We are our own people and we are individuals. The battle is not only with the number on the scale it is the numbers in our heads. I know I will never be a size 2 and that is fine with me. I am goinng to be a woman with the curves that I have earned from having two children. I hope that you can see past the TV; into the mirror to see what a beautiful woman you are and will be.0 -
you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. you can do it babe
I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.
Can you find anyone with something more like your build to admire, i.e. a more realistic goal?
Everyone points me to Marilyn Monroe but I'm kinda shaped like her already. I'm a blonde hourglass and my thighs touch. Um...not what I really want but okay? I just want a flat belly and my thighs not to chafe when I wear skirts. :laugh:0 -
you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. you can do it babe
I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.
there are german women who are stunning with beautiful bodies you could be one of them its all your in attitude .. by having that attitude which you said above you won't do it because your not believing in yourself and have already lost the battle... who cares if your bigger bone embrace it and work it to your advantage girl... tone and shape it
Technically I'm an Irish, Scottish, English and Swedish (the side that I believe I share more of it's traits). I don't know of many large framed petite women with beautiful bodies on TV. I believe I'll hit my goal of 150, I just think it won't be enough to make me look good and I'm not sure if I can be much smaller than that with my bone and muscle structure unless I lose muscle and bone mass. >.<
It really makes me sad to read this... Your right you will never look like some of the people you see on TV, unless you are going to have ribs saved, lipo suction, sray tan abs, boob jobs, I mean this list could go on. This isnt just for you but for many of us who are in this battle together. I personally think Queen latifah is a beautiful woman and she embrasses who she is and how she looks. There are plenty of women in the spot light that are not a size 4.
Reality is... We are not super stars, actors, singers, or in the public spot light (well most of us) We are our own people and we are individuals. The battle is not only with the number on the scale it is the numbers in our heads. I know I will never be a size 2 and that is fine with me. I am goinng to be a woman with the curves that I have earned from having two children. I hope that you can see past the TV; into the mirror to see what a beautiful woman you are and will be.
I'd be lucky to get to a size 8. The smallest I ever was is a 12/14. I don't even know how much I weighed back then. 150 was my guess. And according to my body fat% and bone structure, 148 would be my ideal as my lean body mas is somewhere around 135-140. I might be screwing up some of the math here. Not sure.
Thanks for the kind words though.
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Guilty. And annoyed at the people on this thread (and elsewhere) that say you're (we're) just not trying hard enough -- no matter how hard I try, including severe ED (which is so not an option), there is no way I can ever have the body of someone whose entire body can fit in between my hip bones, with room to spare. Ain't gonna happen.
I used to envy petite women. I always felt jumbo next to them when in reality, at 5'6" I was always more like average. But with heels on I am taller than average, and when I go to any outdoor show, I'm glad I can see over most people. That and accepting the fact that I will never be petite, it doesn't bother me any more.0 -
I find that I don't have body envy, but I know that the image I have of myself in my minds eye is incorrect. I look at someone with my same perceived body type and wonder how similar I am. For example I was at the beach with my sister last week and there was a woman with a similar body type and a really cute booty. I said to my sis "I think I'm built like that, right?" "Yes, you are." "Is my booty like that one, because that one is really cute and a good size." "Yours is cuter."
I love her.0 -
You may want to try practicing NOT comparing yourself to others.
Sorry to say, but there will ALWAYS be someone hotter than you.
It's really hard, especially when women are pretty much all drafted into the beauty contest called life as soon as we are born. We're not described based on our achievements, intellect or nothing like that. Listen to how people describe kids, "the cute/pretty/beautiful girl" and the "funny/smart/strong boy." We're only graded on our appearance, as society doesn't value a thinking woman. Look at the Olympics, Gabby Douglas got gold medals and people were freaking out about her HAIR. So obviously, this behavior is reinforced by a society who only wants our women to be seen and not heard.
What a smart cookie you are!
Since you know that the problem lies in our western society's attitude towards women, why don't you fight against that? Why are you trying to conform to norms that you yourself KNOW are unrealistic/evil and disagree with them? And give me a break about all asians being skinny. They're not. I know many big boned asian women.
I understand you darling, but you have to get over this. Not everyone likes the skinny type. My husband was actually over the moon when I finally 'filled in' (his words).
I used to be like you, comparing myself wherever I went. I don't do it anymore because it just made me feel terrible. Also, something else changed - now I find myself thinking the skinnies are not that great looking after all and find strong muscular/athletic women much 'hotter'. It's all in your head Put something else in it an you'll be happier 
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You may want to try practicing NOT comparing yourself to others.
Sorry to say, but there will ALWAYS be someone hotter than you.
It's really hard, especially when women are pretty much all drafted into the beauty contest called life as soon as we are born. We're not described based on our achievements, intellect or nothing like that. Listen to how people describe kids, "the cute/pretty/beautiful girl" and the "funny/smart/strong boy." We're only graded on our appearance, as society doesn't value a thinking woman. Look at the Olympics, Gabby Douglas got gold medals and people were freaking out about her HAIR. So obviously, this behavior is reinforced by a society who only wants our women to be seen and not heard.
What a smart cookie you are!
Since you know that the problem lies in our western society's attitude towards women, why don't you fight against that? Why are you trying to conform to norms that you yourself KNOW are unrealistic/evil and disagree with them? And give me a break about all asians being skinny. They're not. I know many big boned asian women.
I understand you darling, but you have to get over this. Not everyone likes the skinny type. My husband was actually over the moon when I finally 'filled in' (his words).
I used to be like you, comparing myself wherever I went. I don't do it anymore because it just made me feel terrible. Also, something else changed - now I find myself thinking the skinnies are not that great looking after all and find strong muscular/athletic women much 'hotter'. It's all in your head Put something else in it an you'll be happier
Thanks. Being aware of the problems in society does help but sometimes I fall into the trap anyway. I'm a stupid bi-otch that way sometimes. :P
I don't think my bf would even like me skinny anyway. He likes my curves n stuff. I'm just not used to somebody liking them so it is a process of adjusting to it. I don't really want to be muscular, just smaller. Unless I have a different image for "muscular" in my head. >.>0 -
Thanks. Being aware of the problems in society does help but sometimes I fall into the trap anyway. I'm a stupid bi-otch that way sometimes. :P
I don't think my bf would even like me skinny anyway. He likes my curves n stuff. I'm just not used to somebody liking them so it is a process of adjusting to it. I don't really want to be muscular, just smaller. Unless I have a different image for "muscular" in my head. >.>
Look up Zuzana Light That's kinda sorta what I mean (minus the fake chest). 0
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