Black Team Challenge Week Six!!!!!

tamelab

Donated blood tonight. I was the last donor of the night so they sent home with me, 4 sandwiches - two turkey and two egg salad. Egg salad sounded so good. When I got home DH had baked up some chicken patties and those too, sounded good. So I had both. I knew I was okay with calories b/c of the workout at noon today. But when I stopped to get gas, I also grabbed a small hot chocolate. I've been drinking water like crazy so I hope that will offset the calories and sodium from today. I'm hoping the nausea and wooziness passes soon. Heading to bed!

Good for you. I'm ashamed to admit it, but the last time I gave blood I passed out cold. I came to and couldn't figure out where I was for several seconds. I know I should try it again but I'm a little bit chicken now:blushing:

jessica_benson

Everyone on here is truly an inspiration to me in so many ways and not just fitness. But also to inspire me to just be a better person. I am a single mother of 6 kids. My ex husband and I were middle school sweet hearts. We had 5 daughters together and when he left us for a 17 year old, I thought my life was over. I have held on to a lot of anger and bitterness towards him. But I am finally past that awful chapter in my book. I too can relate to needing help with things for the kids and yes, sometimes it is humiliating but if someone else can help then I let them because my kids deserve it. And in return I help raise money for charities and volunteer at my kids school and in their church. I know it isn't financially giving money back to the one who helped but it is still helping someone else and giving back the best I can right now. I also baby sit when I can for younger parents who just need a break to help them not get so stressed out with life and responcibility. I used to be that young unappreciated parent and there were days I just wanted to run away, but I didn't because I had good people around to help me out. Even if they just sat down and had a cup of coffe with me and a nice chat while the kids were napping. I am now getting remarried, and my higher power has answered my prayers for a good man in my life. We have a 6 month lod son and life is crazy some days but we love it. He is also the one I have that inspires me and gives me the positive support that I need. Sometimes I just need a push and between him and all of you, I feel like I am getting the love and support that I need to keep me motivated! Happy Tuesday Everyone :flowerforyou:

Marla64

Everyone on here is truly an inspiration to me in so many ways and not just fitness. But also to inspire me to just be a better person. I am a single mother of 6 kids. My ex husband and I were middle school sweet hearts. We had 5 daughters together and when he left us for a 17 year old, I thought my life was over. I have held on to a lot of anger and bitterness towards him. But I am finally past that awful chapter in my book. I too can relate to needing help with things for the kids and yes, sometimes it is humiliating but if someone else can help then I let them because my kids deserve it. And in return I help raise money for charities and volunteer at my kids school and in their church. I know it isn't financially giving money back to the one who helped but it is still helping someone else and giving back the best I can right now. I also baby sit when I can for younger parents who just need a break to help them not get so stressed out with life and responcibility. I used to be that young unappreciated parent and there were days I just wanted to run away, but I didn't because I had good people around to help me out. Even if they just sat down and had a cup of coffe with me and a nice chat while the kids were napping. I am now getting remarried, and my higher power has answered my prayers for a good man in my life. We have a 6 month lod son and life is crazy some days but we love it. He is also the one I have that inspires me and gives me the positive support that I need. Sometimes I just need a push and between him and all of you, I feel like I am getting the love and support that I need to keep me motivated! Happy Tuesday Everyone :flowerforyou:

Jessica, I am so glad you opened up and shared some of your story--

retrobaby

Everyone on here is truly an inspiration to me in so many ways and not just fitness. But also to inspire me to just be a better person. I am a single mother of 6 kids. My ex husband and I were middle school sweet hearts. We had 5 daughters together and when he left us for a 17 year old, I thought my life was over. I have held on to a lot of anger and bitterness towards him. But I am finally past that awful chapter in my book. I too can relate to needing help with things for the kids and yes, sometimes it is humiliating but if someone else can help then I let them because my kids deserve it. And in return I help raise money for charities and volunteer at my kids school and in their church. I know it isn't financially giving money back to the one who helped but it is still helping someone else and giving back the best I can right now. I also baby sit when I can for younger parents who just need a break to help them not get so stressed out with life and responcibility. I used to be that young unappreciated parent and there were days I just wanted to run away, but I didn't because I had good people around to help me out. Even if they just sat down and had a cup of coffe with me and a nice chat while the kids were napping. I am now getting remarried, and my higher power has answered my prayers for a good man in my life. We have a 6 month lod son and life is crazy some days but we love it. He is also the one I have that inspires me and gives me the positive support that I need. Sometimes I just need a push and between him and all of you, I feel like I am getting the love and support that I need to keep me motivated! Happy Tuesday Everyone :flowerforyou:

Jessica,
You have an inspriring story. Thanks for sharing . Wow, 6 kids... how do you do it!? You must be supermom, hats off to you.

retrobaby

I have been MIA lately... I have been very busy with guests, birthdays, banquets, etc... I am back on track this week. I am losing again... hope all is well with everyone... HOpe to catch up soon.

Hey Dor.......glad to have ya back!

Glad to see you back Jeannie. Missed ya!

Nonibug

Good morning team... We finally got our science fair project done last night at 10:30 and then I typed til 12:30 so once again I'm pooped. One of my son's friends lives with his father who doesn't take very much care as far as school work goes. He came over last night and had not started anything for his project, which is 2 science test grades, so I bought him some supplies and helped him get his project together. I let him use our "back-up" project for my son. We did two just in case one flopped. I have a hard time watching other kids go without if I can help. I think I need about a 36 hour day to get it all done. Oh well. I try every day to stop and be thankful that I have a job (actually 2) and can provide for my family because I know so many are out of work and don't have that blessing, but some days are just a little too much. Hubby is doing much better. We go for his first follow up today. My oldest had to order his class ring today to the tune of $475, which made me really glad I have 2 jobs:laugh: Have a great last chance workout and good luck tomorrow for weigh-in.

being as I was the 'other' kid that someone helped....let me just say you will never know how much you helped him. When I am getting a promotion at work, I think about the people who believed in me when I was a lost kid........Thanks!:flowerforyou:

Ditto what Jeannie said Tammy. Thank you from another grown up "lost kid" It was people like you when I was growing up that showed me that there are wonderful, caring people in the world:flowerforyou: Now, I try to be that "Mom" to my sons' "lost" friends

richardsrm

:grumble: no change this week....I think I better weigh myself more often to stay motivated ......seems like I lose my motivation on the weekends. It is a vacation week for me this week............if I can stay with the program........it will be huge for me........I tend to overeat when I am not busy Still hanging in there maybe next week the ticker will move Hugs , Ricie

arewethereyet

Everyone on here is truly an inspiration to me in so many ways and not just fitness. But also to inspire me to just be a better person. I am a single mother of 6 kids. My ex husband and I were middle school sweet hearts. We had 5 daughters together and when he left us for a 17 year old, I thought my life was over. I have held on to a lot of anger and bitterness towards him. But I am finally past that awful chapter in my book. I too can relate to needing help with things for the kids and yes, sometimes it is humiliating but if someone else can help then I let them because my kids deserve it. And in return I help raise money for charities and volunteer at my kids school and in their church. I know it isn't financially giving money back to the one who helped but it is still helping someone else and giving back the best I can right now. I also baby sit when I can for younger parents who just need a break to help them not get so stressed out with life and responcibility. I used to be that young unappreciated parent and there were days I just wanted to run away, but I didn't because I had good people around to help me out. Even if they just sat down and had a cup of coffe with me and a nice chat while the kids were napping. I am now getting remarried, and my higher power has answered my prayers for a good man in my life. We have a 6 month lod son and life is crazy some days but we love it. He is also the one I have that inspires me and gives me the positive support that I need. Sometimes I just need a push and between him and all of you, I feel like I am getting the love and support that I need to keep me motivated! Happy Tuesday Everyone :flowerforyou:

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} Thanks for sharing. I am so proud of you for working through all the garbage to raise you kids. So hard sometimes...Thankful you were able to meet a great guy who will share your life with you!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: JEannie

Nonibug

Roni - Have told you yet that I love the new hairdo? It looks great!

Thanks Donna! I was nervous about doing it, I have been blonde all my life. But I wanted something different, and Ive been really wanting a makeover since Ive lost so much weight and the hair was about all I could afford to do:laugh: I am so glad I sucked up my fear and just did it! I really do love it. It's so "fun"! And, it was enough of a makeover to satisfy my urge to change my appearance I am working on going more for Reba McEntire's red...and I would love to have her cut, but thats taking off alot of my length and Im not sure if Im that brave yet

Here is the hairdo from her new album

zippy111

Everyone on here is truly an inspiration to me in so many ways and not just fitness. But also to inspire me to just be a better person. I am a single mother of 6 kids. My ex husband and I were middle school sweet hearts. We had 5 daughters together and when he left us for a 17 year old, I thought my life was over. I have held on to a lot of anger and bitterness towards him. But I am finally past that awful chapter in my book. I too can relate to needing help with things for the kids and yes, sometimes it is humiliating but if someone else can help then I let them because my kids deserve it. And in return I help raise money for charities and volunteer at my kids school and in their church. I know it isn't financially giving money back to the one who helped but it is still helping someone else and giving back the best I can right now. I also baby sit when I can for younger parents who just need a break to help them not get so stressed out with life and responcibility. I used to be that young unappreciated parent and there were days I just wanted to run away, but I didn't because I had good people around to help me out. Even if they just sat down and had a cup of coffe with me and a nice chat while the kids were napping. I am now getting remarried, and my higher power has answered my prayers for a good man in my life. We have a 6 month lod son and life is crazy some days but we love it. He is also the one I have that inspires me and gives me the positive support that I need. Sometimes I just need a push and between him and all of you, I feel like I am getting the love and support that I need to keep me motivated! Happy Tuesday Everyone :flowerforyou:

Wow Jessica, thank you for sharing your story. I think it is great that you help raise money for charities and do all you do...You are amazing AND you have a 6 month old??? I can't imagine. So great to have a man who loves and supports you in a positive way. We are here for you! It will be a wonder wedding/marriage. Keep at it!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Marla64

SpongeMarla reporting in-- AKA The Michelin Man--

Lovely sodium-- up 6.5 pounds-- 6.5 pounds? Really?

How I wish I'd have eaten enough food to warrant such a gain--

Call me a cheater, but I'm not reporting my weight to our fearless leader-- my body is simply ridiculous and I'm not playing this little game today-- this time tomorrow most of it'll be gone again-- so, no freakin' way I'm gonna be stuck with a 6 pound gain for a week.

Need to type a bit-- later.

72lori

SpongeMarla reporting in-- AKA The Michelin Man--

Lovely sodium-- up 6.5 pounds-- 6.5 pounds? Really?

How I wish I'd have eaten enough food to warrant such a gain--

Call me a cheater, but I'm not reporting my weight to our fearless leader-- my body is simply ridiculous and I'm not playing this little game today-- this time tomorrow most of it'll be gone again-- so, no freakin' way I'm gonna be stuck with a 6 pound gain for a week.

Need to type a bit-- later.

I'm a cheater too. I'm also not reporting. It seems silly to report a 2.5 loss one week, then a 3 pound gain the next, then a 3 pound loss the next.... and so on. I appreciate the praise from others when they see I lost 2 or 3 pounds, but I know it's just fluctuation and I'll be back up and then back down again.

I think maybe it's called maintaining. :ohwell:

Anyway, I took away my ticker last week, I'm working on accepting me where I am, I am very much part of this team, but I'm not sure it's productive to report my weight weekly. Sure it feels good to report a loss, but not so good to report it as a gain the next week. Part of the acceptance thing is learning to deal with natural ups and downs, I'm working on it.

So there you go Marla. I'm cheating too.

Marla64

Three cheers, by the way, for after Valentine's Day Sales--

Behold--



I never get flowers-- thank God for sales.

tamelab

SpongeMarla reporting in-- AKA The Michelin Man--

Lovely sodium-- up 6.5 pounds-- 6.5 pounds? Really?

How I wish I'd have eaten enough food to warrant such a gain--

Call me a cheater, but I'm not reporting my weight to our fearless leader-- my body is simply ridiculous and I'm not playing this little game today-- this time tomorrow most of it'll be gone again-- so, no freakin' way I'm gonna be stuck with a 6 pound gain for a week.

Need to type a bit-- later.

I'm a cheater too. I'm also not reporting. It seems silly to report a 2.5 loss one week, then a 3 pound gain the next, then a 3 pound loss the next.... and so on. I appreciate the praise from others when they see I lost 2 or 3 pounds, but I know it's just fluctuation and I'll be back up and then back down again.

I think maybe it's called maintaining. :ohwell:

Anyway, I took away my ticker last week, I'm working on accepting me where I am, I am very much part of this team, but I'm not sure it's productive to report my weight weekly. Sure it feels good to report a loss, but not so good to report it as a gain the next week. Part of the acceptance thing is learning to deal with natural ups and downs, I'm working on it.

So there you go Marla. I'm cheating too.

Well, I guess I'm joining the cheater's team today too. It is my TOM and I am up 3 pounds so I'm not reporting my weight either. It should be gone again by this time next week.

tamelab

Three cheers, by the way, for after Valentine's Day Sales--

Behold--



I never get flowers-- thank God for sales.

Beautiful flowers! I started to buy some for myself at Wal-Mart the other day because they were half off but then I changed my mind again. I do that a lot. My hubby calls me Take It Back Tammy:laugh:

tamelab

Everyone on here is truly an inspiration to me in so many ways and not just fitness. But also to inspire me to just be a better person. I am a single mother of 6 kids. My ex husband and I were middle school sweet hearts. We had 5 daughters together and when he left us for a 17 year old, I thought my life was over. I have held on to a lot of anger and bitterness towards him. But I am finally past that awful chapter in my book. I too can relate to needing help with things for the kids and yes, sometimes it is humiliating but if someone else can help then I let them because my kids deserve it. And in return I help raise money for charities and volunteer at my kids school and in their church. I know it isn't financially giving money back to the one who helped but it is still helping someone else and giving back the best I can right now. I also baby sit when I can for younger parents who just need a break to help them not get so stressed out with life and responcibility. I used to be that young unappreciated parent and there were days I just wanted to run away, but I didn't because I had good people around to help me out. Even if they just sat down and had a cup of coffe with me and a nice chat while the kids were napping. I am now getting remarried, and my higher power has answered my prayers for a good man in my life. We have a 6 month lod son and life is crazy some days but we love it. He is also the one I have that inspires me and gives me the positive support that I need. Sometimes I just need a push and between him and all of you, I feel like I am getting the love and support that I need to keep me motivated! Happy Tuesday Everyone :flowerforyou:

Wow Jessica, thank you for sharing your story. I think it is great that you help raise money for charities and do all you do...You are amazing AND you have a 6 month old??? I can't imagine. So great to have a man who loves and supports you in a positive way. We are here for you! It will be a wonder wedding/marriage. Keep at it!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Thanks for sharing your story. It is amazing how your life can change when God sends you the right person. Hang in here with us and we will get through this weight loss journey together

Girlmom282109

Three cheers, by the way, for after Valentine's Day Sales--

Behold--



I never get flowers-- thank God for sales.

I got flowers from hubs for VD. they were leftover flowers from a group that was in house at the hotel he works at.

tamelab

Good morning team... We finally got our science fair project done last night at 10:30 and then I typed til 12:30 so once again I'm pooped. One of my son's friends lives with his father who doesn't take very much care as far as school work goes. He came over last night and had not started anything for his project, which is 2 science test grades, so I bought him some supplies and helped him get his project together. I let him use our "back-up" project for my son. We did two just in case one flopped. I have a hard time watching other kids go without if I can help. I think I need about a 36 hour day to get it all done. Oh well. I try every day to stop and be thankful that I have a job (actually 2) and can provide for my family because I know so many are out of work and don't have that blessing, but some days are just a little too much. Hubby is doing much better. We go for his first follow up today. My oldest had to order his class ring today to the tune of $475, which made me really glad I have 2 jobs:laugh: Have a great last chance workout and good luck tomorrow for weigh-in.

being as I was the 'other' kid that someone helped....let me just say you will never know how much you helped him. When I am getting a promotion at work, I think about the people who believed in me when I was a lost kid........Thanks!:flowerforyou:

Ditto what Jeannie said Tammy. Thank you from another grown up "lost kid" It was people like you when I was growing up that showed me that there are wonderful, caring people in the world:flowerforyou: Now, I try to be that "Mom" to my sons' "lost" friends

When I was growing up, my dad was an over-the-road truck driver and I stayed with my mom during the week. They divorced when I was about 7 or 8, can't quite remember. My mom had bipolar disorder/manic depressive and had extreme highs and extreme lows, but most of the time she just stayed in bed. I didn't have the support of my mom because she was sick and my dad did the best he could on weekends, but I often was the only kid who didn't have a parent at functions. I got to do the things I wanted to in school but I never had what my friends had. We never had family dinners. Often I would walk home after cheerleading practice or a game or I would have to bum a ride from someone else all the time. I always felt like I wasn't as good as everyone else who had "normal" families and I guess I still hold some of that feeling inside. I try so hard to make sure my boys have what they need and we have family dinners and camping trips and fun stuff that I missed. I am thankful every day that God sent me the blessing of my husband because he is my rock.

zippy111

:
[/quote]

When I was growing up, my dad was an over-the-road truck driver and I stayed with my mom during the week. They divorced when I was about 7 or 8, can't quite remember. My mom had bipolar disorder/manic depressive and had extreme highs and extreme lows, but most of the time she just stayed in bed. I didn't have the support of my mom because she was sick and my dad did the best he could on weekends, but I often was the only kid who didn't have a parent at functions. I got to do the things I wanted to in school but I never had what my friends had. We never had family dinners. Often I would walk home after cheerleading practice or a game or I would have to bum a ride from someone else all the time. I always felt like I wasn't as good as everyone else who had "normal" families and I guess I still hold some of that feeling inside. I try so hard to make sure my boys have what they need and we have family dinners and camping trips and fun stuff that I missed. I am thankful every day that God sent me the blessing of my husband because he is my rock.
[/quote]

Tammy - You have me tearing up over here. Truly and inspiration to us all. We often take for granted the wonderful things we have in our lives. You sound like you were a great kid growing up. I'm sure the families that helped you saw that:flowerforyou: You are a strong person. Hang on to that rock of yours....he sounds like a keeper

zippy111

sorry messed up that quote

SatelliteCrush80

SpongeMarla reporting in-- AKA The Michelin Man--

Lovely sodium-- up 6.5 pounds-- 6.5 pounds? Really?

How I wish I'd have eaten enough food to warrant such a gain--

Call me a cheater, but I'm not reporting my weight to our fearless leader-- my body is simply ridiculous and I'm not playing this little game today-- this time tomorrow most of it'll be gone again-- so, no freakin' way I'm gonna be stuck with a 6 pound gain for a week.

Need to type a bit-- later.

I'm a cheater too. I'm also not reporting. It seems silly to report a 2.5 loss one week, then a 3 pound gain the next, then a 3 pound loss the next.... and so on. I appreciate the praise from others when they see I lost 2 or 3 pounds, but I know it's just fluctuation and I'll be back up and then back down again.

I think maybe it's called maintaining. :ohwell:

Anyway, I took away my ticker last week, I'm working on accepting me where I am, I am very much part of this team, but I'm not sure it's productive to report my weight weekly. Sure it feels good to report a loss, but not so good to report it as a gain the next week. Part of the acceptance thing is learning to deal with natural ups and downs, I'm working on it.

So there you go Marla. I'm cheating too.

I have been cheating for at least 4 of the 6 weeks. Messes with my head too much.

Marla64

SpongeMarla reporting in-- AKA The Michelin Man--

Lovely sodium-- up 6.5 pounds-- 6.5 pounds? Really?

How I wish I'd have eaten enough food to warrant such a gain--

Call me a cheater, but I'm not reporting my weight to our fearless leader-- my body is simply ridiculous and I'm not playing this little game today-- this time tomorrow most of it'll be gone again-- so, no freakin' way I'm gonna be stuck with a 6 pound gain for a week.

Need to type a bit-- later.

I'm a cheater too. I'm also not reporting. It seems silly to report a 2.5 loss one week, then a 3 pound gain the next, then a 3 pound loss the next.... and so on. I appreciate the praise from others when they see I lost 2 or 3 pounds, but I know it's just fluctuation and I'll be back up and then back down again.

I think maybe it's called maintaining. :ohwell:

Anyway, I took away my ticker last week, I'm working on accepting me where I am, I am very much part of this team, but I'm not sure it's productive to report my weight weekly. Sure it feels good to report a loss, but not so good to report it as a gain the next week. Part of the acceptance thing is learning to deal with natural ups and downs, I'm working on it.

So there you go Marla. I'm cheating too.

I have been cheating for at least 4 of the 6 weeks. Messes with my head too much.

I think I'm with you, Lori....I'm 200% in this thing with all of you, but the weekly weigh ins are driving me batty. I've had losses to get me back where I was, but I'm going to bow out of the weigh ins. The water ups and downs send me apoplectic.

Tammy, my family was nutty, too, for sure. My parents were both AT&T employees, full-time...but my mother only went back to work full-time at the end of my father's fist. She begged him not to go back full-time, so she could be home when us kids got home from school, etc. He'd scream and shout, and fight and pout and bully and whine, and then beat the crud out of her....lovely stuff. She finally gave in.

Our already screwed up family continued to spiral out of control, and violence from sibling to sibling escalated....I was the youngest of four, and the only girl. You all know the expression of what flows downhill, yes? Oh my.... the abuse I endured. And my mother would not let me call her at work with "this *kitten*," because "her nerves couldn't take it." She never wanted to hear how I was getting the crap kicked out of me, and my father was feared thus unapproachable.

But, my dad was still the Little League dad, my mom the Brownie troop helper....at least before she went back to work full-time.

Still, as a kid, you don't know that EVERY family is not screwed up like this, so I never saw myself or my childhood as screwed up until many years later....I'm still dealing with it all, to some degree.

Like you, my husband has been my anchor. And, while I can't provide the material things that they may want, my husband and I decided early on that we'd go to our graves before leaving our children home without a mother during the day.

Ok....therapy time is over....off the couch!

Later, troops.

jimswmn

Ack ! The weather people are tracking a storm that is supposed to hit my area Monday with a possible 18-36 inches of snow. Seriously I have had enough snow to last a lifetime.

72lori

All the stories from the Black team. Really makes you think. I should have gone to school to be a social worker instead of a teacher. I have boatloads of compassion and I love to help people. I love to give things to others and do as often as I can. Granted with DH the only provider and 4 kids, my resources are somewhat limited, but I do what I can, when I can.

My childhood was pretty much the Brady Bunch, minus all the kids, but that kind of atmosphere. My parents never fought that I heard. They truly love each other, they get along, to this day they still walk through the mall holding hands. They built their house on 'family' land, so my grandparents lived directly across a stone driveway, my aunt and uncle live (still) right next door.

I always had the support of my family, my grandparents were a huge part of my life, my mom worked part time (at the top of the stone driveway at my great uncles construction company- she walked to work) and I stayed with my Nan. I loved that women. She was my everything.

I was spoiled, I admit it, my parent's didn't have loads of money, but I didn't do without anything, that's for sure. I can remember my Nan and Pap went 'to town' every Friday night and they always brought back something for me, clothes a lot of times. My mom paid Nan for keeping me and she in turn went out and bought me stuff with the money.

My sister is 8 years younger than me and my brother 10 years, I remember the devastation every time my mom had a miscarriage (3 of them) because I wanted a brother or sister so badly. I was so happy to finally have a sister. Because of the age difference it was almost like 2 families, I was more one of their caregivers than sibling.

Sometimes I think maybe I just remember it wrong, but my mom also says it's true. We were kids that just listened, did what we were supposed to, etc. I'm sure there were times here and there, but mostly, I did what I knew I should. If I did something I wasn't supposed to all it took was a look from my mom and I would be in tears, she didn't even have to say anything.

So there you go- perfect family, perfect childhood. Leads up to my adult life where all of a sudden I realize it's not all that easy to be that perfect everything. I felt like a failure when my first marriage fell apart. Growing up trying to duplicate what you saw as perfection and the way it's supposed to be isn't all that easy.

I still have the ideal white picket fence fairy tale life in my head, the way I think it should be based on the way I grew up. My life is good, but it's not perfect, by any means. Integrating two families, dealing with ex wives and ex husbands, step children, a husband that's gone as much as he's home, a husband who parents way differently than I do and the way I was raised..... so many things standing in the way of my fairy tale perfection.

Funny, so many of you saw things growing up and decided that you needed to change things for your life and your family, you didn't want to be like they were. I'm the opposite, I've spent my life trying to be exactly like my parents only to realize how incredibly hard and most likey unrealistic that it is.

ksproston

Oh Bobbi, I'm so sorry. What a nightmare! So sorry. That does remind me though. We could get something in our area Sunday afternoon into Monday. Need to check it out and see if it's progressed into something major or just another layer to cover the grass that's finally peeking through. :grumble:

Marla64

Lori.....sounds wonderful....how beautiful you make it all sound.

I often wonder how my children will view their upbringing. Far too often I'm sure I make raising a family of 9 seem REALLLLLLLLLY unattractive.

My husband and I both have VERY strong, very different personalities. I'm an easygoing smartass by nature, and he's a control freak smartass... and while I'm all for the traditional "Father Knows Best" model of marriage/parenting, believe me it's difficult sometimes, and I definitely have occasional trouble with the biblical submission stuff. (no, we're not entering into that discussion, folks....)

But, we do argue and bicker and sometimes yell at each other in front of the kids, and generally air our grievances for them to see and hear.

But, we also hug and smooch, and agree, and live and love and laugh alot. So, we'll see what they take of it.

I've often wondered what our life/marriage/parenting would be like if we DIDN'T always have to worry how we were going to pay the @#$!@ mortgage, and how we were going to put food on the table. The stress of it is is a killer, believe you me.

tamelab

Thanks for sharing your stories. I feel like I know you a little better

72lori

Lori.....sounds wonderful....how beautiful you make it all sound.

I often wonder how my children will view their upbringing. Far too often I'm sure I make raising a family of 9 seem REALLLLLLLLLY unattractive.

My husband and I both have VERY strong, very different personalities. I'm an easygoing smartass by nature, and he's a control freak smartass... and while I'm all for the traditional "Father Knows Best" model of marriage/parenting, believe me it's difficult sometimes, and I definitely have occasional trouble with the biblical submission stuff. (no, we're not entering into that discussion, folks....)

But, we do argue and bicker and sometimes yell at each other in front of the kids, and generally air our grievances for them to see and hear.

But, we also hug and smooch, and agree, and live and love and laugh alot. So, we'll see what they take of it.

I've often wondered what our life/marriage/parenting would be like if we DIDN'T always have to worry how we were going to pay the @#$!@ mortgage, and how we were going to put food on the table. The stress of it is is a killer, believe you me.

You know Marla, I really do count my blessings, I only have the most wonderful memories of my childhood. I too only hope that when my children are grown, they see their childhood the way I do my own.

My husband and I don't argue much, usually only over the raising of the kids. There is a difference between 'his kids' and 'my kids'. Sure I feel the difference, I'm not going to lie, but I try like anything to not let it be seen by the kids. I work hard to treat them all equally. He's not so good at it, although he denies it to the end, he can't see it.

So, I feel the need to stand up for my 2 kids when I see them getting the raw end of the deal. My 12 year old gets it the most. He's hard on him. He'll ride him for stuff that he doesn't ride his own 2 kids for. We just had an incident yesterday, I remined the kids to take their PE clothes back to school. His daughter said she never took them out of her backpack. I say, so you had dirty clothes in your room since Friday. Hubs was sitting there, said nothing. Ignored it. My 12 year old comes out of his room with his backpack of clothes from a sleepover Sunday night, DH instantly jumped in and started going on and on about why he didn't take care of it the day before, blah, blah.

Needless to say I was HOT. I wanted to choke him. DH knew it. So often I don't have solid 'evidence' of the things I try to point out to him, this all happened in a 5 minute time frame. I swear if I could install video cameras to prove my point, I would.

I've actually apologized to my son for the constant riding he gets from DH. Sometimes I wonder if I can take it anymore. I pray my son doesn't grow up hating me for subjecting him to it. It's no abusive, but it's unfair. DH says he doesn't respect him. I say I wouldn't either if he treated me that way.

The one thing I can say is my son is driven. He's only 12 and he knows what he wants from life, he's already got his high school classes and college desires mapped out. Maybe the riding has pushed him to achieve what he wants. He saved up, bought a $1200 iMac and is taking an online web design class right now. He's smart. He gets great grades, he cares about his school work and grades.

DH's son on the other hand, 14 years old, smart kid, capable of anything. No motivation. Sits in his room and plays xbox all day. Has no social life. Has some social/emotional issues. Could care less about school. Could care less about anything that we can figure out other than playing video games. I say all the time he would benefit from a boot up his butt (figuratively speaking of course) but the iron hand never comes down on him. Often I look at him as a mean, nasty child. He's rarely got anything nice to say to others.

Who knows, maybe my son is the way he is because his step father is an a$s to him. Maybe I spend too much time trying to figure it out. See, no perfection here. Promise.

mumsanutter

This team is truely inspirational, thank you for sharing.

I was an army brat, so spent the beginnings of my life moving from base to base, we finally settled at a base when my sister was born and I was about 5years old. What I didn't realise until much later, was that this was because my mum had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and my dad refused to take any postings or to progress any higher within the army structure as he didn't want to move my mums care. I remember mum always being there, being my brownie leader (tawny owl) and being friends with my teachers, and then she was gone and everything changed. My dad was always at work, he started to go away with work and my sister and I would be left at the army barracks in the care of either set of grandparents. Before my mum passed away, I had been going to after school clubs etc, but after all of a sudden I had to look after my sister. I had to walk her to school and then go on to mine, and collect her from school as well. I lost all the clubs I'd been going to, so that I could care for my younger sister and look after the house. The only job I wasn't allowed to do was iron my dads trousers ( I couldn't do the crease correctly!). My dad remarried when I was 16, and then this opened a bigger kettle of worms, as I was seen as competition and told repeatedly to go out with my friends (right!!).

I now looking back feel that I lost alot of my childhood looking after my sister, and am not sure if this is why we don't get along now. I don't have many friends from school, and still find it hard to make good friends, as am so scared of loseing them. My husband is my rock and best friend, and has helped me to overcome many things regarding my mums death, dad's remarriage, and has helped me to come through my dads passing last summer.

I try so hard to let my boys have the childhood that I never had, but do believe that they need to learn to help around the house, so they have their chores to do. They get to go to their clubs, karate and sea scouts and I try to let them do their after school activities. I sometimes find it hard to give them the space that they need with the job that I do, but will do my best to allow them a childhood that I didn't have.

Marla64

Tanya, so much loss.....I'm so sorry. Thank you, for telling us your story. I'm sure it's hard having to be a primary caregiver to a younger sibling. We had all but turned Faith, now 16, into one for our younger ones after hubs lost his job and typing was the only income. She handled it with such grace and never complained, but she was so quiet and withdrawn.

We knew that we had to let her have a life, so told her last April that she could enter high school....our original intent was to homeschool her (due to the crash and burn of my eldest son's character after he went out into "the world")

Our "quiet" child has blossomed....she is fun and funny, and chatty, and personable. She no longer runs and hides when we have company, finding her solace in the NY Rangers or NY Yankees into which she'd submerged herself. She now stays upstairs and chits and chats, and laughs.....oh my...what a beautiful change in her.

I think Cmriverside posted something once to the effect of...."if we were all to throw our troubles into a collective pile to choose anew, we'd all choose our own back." I'm reminded of that reading some of your tales. My parents growing up were definitely NOT Mike and Carol Brady, by any measure....but at least I did have them both, and I need to remember to be thankful for that.

Lori, sorry to hear of DH and your son. It takes a special person to be able to love any child like your own. I don't know that I could...heck, even the neighbor kids bug the junk out of me. I have nothing else to say remotely encouraging.... I'm sure it's a tricky situation.... I hope your son remains as driven as he is. You're no doubt a wonderful example to him with your working out, etc. Hugs to you all.

Families....can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em....eh?

Love to you all....whoda thunk one could feel so close to a "bunch of strangers on the internet" as my husband likes to call us?