This site should not be about weight loss bullies !

lioness0806

Acccept it. If it bothers you enough stop posting in the forums. I'm sure that you have supportive friends, that you'll get the response you are looking for just by posting a status update.

Admiral_Derp

^This.

It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.

i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.

take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.

i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.

now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.

Jaulen

I wont apologize for telling people how bad hcg is. I'm here for support and to support others in their weight loss/exercise goals. If anyone brings up/asks about hcg in a forum, or one of my pals mentions it, I tell them how I feel. They, afterall, are the ones asking/talking about it.
My niece nearly died from it after peeing black 'stuff'. She ended up in the hospital with severe kidney damage. I didn't like what she was doing, told her so and she still chose to use it.
Ultimately, people have to make their own choices, but I don't want to see someone die from a 'quick fix' because they didn't know enough about it. That is all.

What I wonder, how many people who have done 'quick fixes' actually keep the weight loss off?
Since the quick fix never addresses what made them gain weight in the first place.
Isn't that why they are always re-doing the quick fix, or looking for the next newest better one?

Sorry to hear about your niece's effects from HCG.

(not something I'd ever do, since well, I don't want to put weird stuff into my body, or potentially mess up any of my systems)

greasygriddle

Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly?

*kitten*. *kitten* covered *kitten* with *kitten* filling.

Dr. Cox hit the nail right on the head. And add to that nastiness the anonymity that is the internet, and I'm shocked that you're shocked that there are negative people on a positive site.

There are several people who are already fit, or only had a few pounds to lose - part of the "look at me, I'm so cool and sexy" crowd, they acted like that to begin with.

The solution?

Start kicking them in the shin.

this seriously made me LOL... :drinker:

geebusuk

I agree that disagreement and debate is not bullying. But just like in junior high school - when it's mocking, taunting, belittling and sarcasm-laden criticism, it's bullying. No one deserves to have their opinion or experiences rudely shouted down.

What about when it's humour that everyone is participating in and enjoys?

The reality is that ANYTHING can be taken as a bullying if you want.

"Well, by saying well done for losing weight, they were saying I was fat, so they're bullying me."
"Well by not saying well done for losing weight, they are saying I am fat, so they're bullying me."


If people took a step back and rather than going out looking to get offended, made an effort not too - they'd not only be a lot happier, but also find that the people that ARE trying to 'bully' end up with the egg on THEIR faces.

CakeFit21

I actually did . I love the people who get my point that we are all equal. We are all here for the same reason and im looking for positive people to help me on my journey. For the others who have found another reason to try their hardest to disagree with someoneo all I can say is REALLY? This was supposed to be positive and some people still don't get that.

But the title of your thread is negative in and of itself. "This site should NOT be about weight loss bullies" - not is negative. You started it off with a negative statement. Grammatically speaking, not even literal or subjective interpretation, it is negative. Ohhhh the irony.

And HCG is bad. Very bad.

REALLY?

Yeah.

Yeah!

SanteMulberry

By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

Am I going to report them?

No... because I can tell they're joking.

Hey now, I was honest to god advocating for violence and shin kicking. A little reality added to the existence of the internet might make the place a little more courteous! Like if you knew your mother was reading every word you typed...

:grumble: crap, this IS public, she CAN read it all! :sad:

LOL One CAN be humorous without resorting to belittling others. :flowerforyou:

francinemarilyn

Hello, I am new to this site, started yesterday and love it!!!!! I have been on every diet plan known to man, and been a yo you dieter all my life, starving, pills, you name it.
The only thing I respond to is unconditional friendship, I am my own worst critic and don't need anyone else putting me down, I do a good enough job of it myself.
There is no perfect way of losing weight and we are all individuals, some people click and some don't
I am looking forward to my new commitment and know it is not a race, it will come off as it is supposed to, I do not want to weight myself a few times a day, but be gentle.
I guess I am posting this to remind myself, be good to myself.

lizjohnson2169

You can put your diary on private where only you can see it.

Contrarian

Okay. I can tell that people are getting worked up here, so I think everyone needs to hear the story of Timmy and Me.


When I was growing up, our next door neighbours had a daschund named Timmy. His lady owner was very nice, but his man owner once shouted at me, because the Big Wheel I was riding up and down and up and down and up and down (etc forever) the street was too loud. He was relatively ****ish.

Timmy and I were wonderful friends. Whenever he went for a walk (off his leash, because this was in the olden days when seat belts were optional and shirt collars were as big as your face), he would overshoot his driveway to come and see me, and kiss me and let me hug his neck. I was not tall.

One day, my family and I were going to visit my grandparents, or some other old people who only ever had crappy candy in their house, and since I was ready before everyone else, I went outside to impatiently wait. Timmy was on his front lawn. We ran towards each other, slow-motion-on-a-beach style, to hug, and I sat down on the grass to hug him better.

Timmy was not outside for no reason, as I discovered, after sitting on the lawn. Atop the lawn, was a fresh pile of his ****, which I sat on. In. On. Whatever. Wearing corduroy pants, as in so many situations, just made things worse.

Anyway, my mom was very angry and I made us late in going to whatever ****ty candy place we were going to, and I totally sat in dog ****.

The End.

SanteMulberry

Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly?

*kitten*. *kitten* covered *kitten* with *kitten* filling.

Dr. Cox hit the nail right on the head. And add to that nastiness the anonymity that is the internet, and I'm shocked that you're shocked that there are negative people on a positive site.

There are several people who are already fit, or only had a few pounds to lose - part of the "look at me, I'm so cool and sexy" crowd, they acted like that to begin with.

The solution?

Start kicking them in the shin.

this seriously made me LOL... :drinker:

Me too. He wins the humor award for today! Hey--that's an idea! Why don't we get to vote on the most humorous post of the day? One of the criteria could be that it NOT contain mean-spirited putdowns. Mods take note, please!

redheaddee

I actually did . I love the people who get my point that we are all equal. We are all here for the same reason and im looking for positive people to help me on my journey. For the others who have found another reason to try their hardest to disagree with someoneo all I can say is REALLY? This was supposed to be positive and some people still don't get that.

But the title of your thread is negative in and of itself. "This site should NOT be about weight loss bullies" - not is negative. You started it off with a negative statement. Grammatically speaking, not even literal or subjective interpretation, it is negative. Ohhhh the irony.

And HCG is bad. Very bad.

REALLY?

Umm, yes.

geebusuk

What I wonder, how many people who have done 'quick fixes' actually keep the weight loss off?
Since the quick fix never addresses what made them gain weight in the first place.
Isn't that why they are always re-doing the quick fix, or looking for the next newest better one?

But maybe the 'quick fix' is part of a plan that addresses their weight gain in the first place?

As for people that have lost lots of weight knowing what they're talking about:
All too often on here it seems that people that have succeeded presume their way is THE best way.
For instance, I've often been seen chanting 'Calories in, Calories out', while others don't always find that methodology works for them*.

*Of course, I'd point out that I hold this view partly because it's based on the rather fundamentals rules of the universe, as we understand them :P.

iAMsmiling

I'd like to say, in a very positive way, that we have become a people obsessed with whining and finger pointing.

Bullying hasn't increased, it's been defined down to the point that each and every whining little snowflake can claim to be bullied at the first sign of honest, frank disagreement, and thousands of other snowflakes will whine in agreement about how nasty all the bullies are.

Drive the disagreement out. Drive the humor out. Drive the life out.

Pathetic.
Disgustingly, pathetic.

Admiral_Derp

By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

Am I going to report them?

No... because I can tell they're joking.

First I never advocated a diet , I make my own choices because I'm an adult! I was simply giving an example of one of the topics that is used to bully people on this site . Yes I used the word again because that's exactly what I mean so thank you to everyone giving the grammar school lessons. Second you are all adults and I do not condone violence so please don't act like i have anything to do with or control of what comes out of others mouths. Third who said I reported anyone? I just chose to go on with my life and find positive people. I suggest you do the same.

What a shame that you have clearly misunderstood not only the message you've put out with your post, but the responses you have received.

I'm only hoping others read the thread and come away with a much clearer understanding of what "bullying," "support," and perhaps more importantly, "health," actually mean.

Candor and rationality are in short supply because people would rather have pats on the head, and shallow agreement. Once their mind is made up, all that matters is approval...not honesty.

lilmiss_sunshine29

I started on this site over a year ago and found that it was hard to stay on here, while I was looking for support I actually found a lot of negativity. I was orginally on the hcg diet and actually found a lot of success on it and don't regret it at all. What i did regret was sharing it with the people on this site. I got hateful post on my threads , emails, ect.. I was shocked. It's very rare that you find that a place were you can be honest about your weight and your struggles and find like minded people who share the same experience. So after taking a break I've decided to try again because charting my food and seeing my weight loss post each day was motivational. I also really loved the support I gave and recieved from the positive people on this site. So if your looking for a positive person to help you be motivated then add me and hopefully we can help each other.

oh that's just yuck! sorry to hear that.

geebusuk

Oh and lastly... I often have people shoot down my opinions.

I'm not insulted because generally I've well researched the topic before I talk about it.
If I haven't, I will do so and may change my mind if the other person is right.

If I think they're wrong, I will explain why I believe they're wrong backing it up with my research.
If they were doing it to 'bully' they'll look silly not me - and I'll continue to feel happy with my choices as I am confident in my reasons for making them.

Sabine_Stroehm

Candor and rationality are in short supply because people would rather have pats on the head, and shallow agreement. Once their mind is made up, all that matters is approval...not honesty.

That's a great point. And once BOTH parties' minds are made up.... well then, all bets are off it seems. Everyone is sure they are right.

Perhaps a little perspective on BOTH sides would be good.

Cait_Sidhe

Other people who don't comment read these threads. Being supportive and saying "great idea!" to someone asking about a dangerous diet is the same as telling the anonymous people that they should try it too. Disagreeing with someone is not bullying. I'm not going to tell someone asking if they should try crystal meth to lose weight that it's a great idea. It's not. It's extremely dangerous. As is HCG. Telling that person that it's a very bad idea is not bullying. It's helping them.

dutchess4884

When it's all said and done I'm here to be surrounded with positive people who are here to support each other. Again I am not advocating any diet it was an example and I wont be apologizing to anyone for trying something once. Do I do things differently now yes cause I've learned. But the fact that that's all some of you focused on and not my message about being positive and helping each other is sad. However for those of you who truly took the time to read what I said and see that it was nothing more then me expressing my feelings about an experience I had (which I can do just like you all) , thank you. You have all been on forums and seen people made fun of , mean comments , and a group attacking someone's choice. I just don't like that and if that means I'm unrealistic that a bunch of over weight people can join together to support each other in a positive way then I guess I am. There are people everyday who feel that because their smaller they should tell me how to lose weight , on this site i experience rudness, mean comments, nasty emails with very vulgar language and things I wont even mention. I dont want that. the true spirit of this site is to encourage each other and that's what I'm here to do. Some people may not like the way I "stated " things or the words that I used but I wont apologize just like I wouldn't ask you to. Thank you for all of your post, concerns, lessons, and witty comments. I have learned that surrounding yourself with positive people is about picking those who are worth your time and throwing back the rest. People need different things to prosper and I'll just find people who fit my needs.

Have a great day guys ! God Bless!