Why the need to bring people down who are in shape?

Matt_Wild

Ok, I will agree to disagree. But I have one last question for you.

If I went onto your success story about Yo and posted the following-

"It is unhealthy for women to be at this low of a body fat %. You do not have to train like this to be healthy. There are better ways to do it." And I posted 3 large pics of my friend who has an awesome body, but has a softer, less muscular physique.

Would you consider that to be an appropriate comment to leave on a SUCCESS thread?

Just to note, that I WOULD NOT post this comment on your thread. I am only using that as an example.

It is unhealthy for a woman to be sub 12% body fat for a significant time I'd agree. At her current body fat level she is above critical bodyfat levels, she is at a healthy level. You would be incorrect.

Matt_Wild

and no i dont think you are possessive
just the wrong choice of photos to display her success and physique in a fitness forum

again just my opinion

That's fair enough

Zomoniac

Ok, I will agree to disagree. But I have one last question for you.

If I went onto your success story about Yo and posted the following-

"It is unhealthy for women to be at this low of a body fat %. You do not have to train like this to be healthy. There are better ways to do it." And I posted 3 large pics of my friend who has an awesome body, but has a softer, less muscular physique.

Would you consider that to be an appropriate comment to leave on a SUCCESS thread?

Just to note, that I WOULD NOT post this comment on your thread. I am only using that as an example.

It is unhealthy for a woman to be sub 12% body fat for a significant time I'd agree. At her current body fat level she is above critical bodyfat levels, she is at a healthy level. You would be incorrect.

This ignores the two big (or not, as the case may be) variables that cause the bulk of the gender discrepancy in the first instance. If you have two women that are both (for example) 34/26/34, both equally athletic with the same overall 'tone level' (for want of a better phrase, ie both with little visible fat across the legs/arms/stomach), but even with otherwise identical measurements one is an A cup and the other is a D then one is invariably going to have a noticeably higher fat percentage of overall body composition.

Matt_Wild

The ACE measurement is used commonly and its probably the best thing you are gonna get. It is the American Council on Exercise (ACE).

And unless you get hydrostatic measurement done, and use calipers, the next best thing (ignore bio impedance, its next to useless on individual cases due to exercise, hydration and many other factors) you'll never have the exact figure.

Duck_Puddle

...I also am tired of people expecting everyone who is trying to get in shape and or get healthy that they want to look "ripped". No, that isn't everyones goal. We are all individual and we all have our own vision of beauty.

The expectation isn't that everybody wants to be "ripped". The expectation is that if you don't like the way somebody's body looks, don't say anything at all. If I click on somebody's success thread and see that they've lost 50 pounds, but most of it was muscle mass and they now look like a skinny, saggy, droopy mess, I don't post "ewww, skinnyfat, I'd NEVER want to look like that!". I hit the 'back' button on my browser and go find another thread. A lot of other people do the same, based upon what I've seen in the success threads, because the vast majority of the people who respond are congratulatory and positive. That's not always the case when somebody is "ripped" and/or muscular - some people have a seemingly irresistible compulsion to offer their two cents about how it looks too "masculine", or that it's unappealing, or some other negative comment on some part of the person's anatomy. That's the double standard Jojo referred to earlier in the thread. Instead, how about you hit your freaking back button, leave the freaking thread and go offer a more positive opinion to someone who's "curvy" (still fat, in other words) or skinnyfat or whatever. I'm sure they'll appreciate your input much more than the person whose parade you just rained upon.

Bravo! That was the point I was attempting to make in that thread about a different comment (OP here had already addressed the comments on his GF) but got myself in trouble. If you can't just acknowledge that someone has achieved their goals (whatever they are), don't say anything. Interspersing your goals/desires (when they don't align with the person who posted their success) is indeed raining on their parade and is inappropriate at any end of the spectrum.

I applaud your GF because I personally can't fathom the amount of effort, work and dedication she has put into achieving those results! Kudos to her (and to you for helping her achieve her goals).

gabriellejayde

I'm guessing (it's a semi educated guess, however), that you, on behalf of your girlfriend, basically post "look at me! I'm muscular and in shape! Therefore, I know a lot more than you do about things and you should do what I say, even if you don't want to look like me!"

and when you get a response like, "but i don't want to look like that!" you get all butt hurt. on behalf of her.

that being said, I think your gf looks great. not my goal, but great none the less.

dad106

This is from Yo's latest thread:

"I think she looked lovely before... now she looks, well, very mucsular I suppose. I guess that's what you were aiming for."

This is also one of the comments that you deemed negative.

All that woman was stating is how she looked good before, and now she looks more muscular, and maybe thats the look you were going for. No OMG Ew she's ugly.. nothing like that.

Just unsure of what you are aiming for, and why you would want to do that when she looked good before.

So my last comment before I go, is stop getting so defensive and actually read/think about what people are trying to say. It would probably save you a lot of headache and energy.

Matt_Wild

This is from Yo's latest thread:

"I think she looked lovely before... now she looks, well, very mucsular I suppose. I guess that's what you were aiming for."

This is also one of the comments that you deemed negative.

All that woman was stating is how she looked good before, and now she looks more muscular, and maybe thats the look you were going for. No OMG Ew she's ugly.. nothing like that.

Just unsure of what you are aiming for, and why you would want to do that when she looked good before.

So my last comment before I go, is stop getting so defensive and actually read/think about what people are trying to say. It would probably save you a lot of headache and energy.

Why is there anyone commenting on a success thread negatively about how she looks full stop? I see it on no other success threads?

Is it OK for me to say well you look slightly less fat than before, if that's what you are looking for?

And its not just thread, its any thread with a shapely woman in and often the same for men.

So stop looking at just one thread and concluding you know everything to which I this thread applies.

gabriellejayde

This is from Yo's latest thread:

"I think she looked lovely before... now she looks, well, very mucsular I suppose. I guess that's what you were aiming for."

This is also one of the comments that you deemed negative.

All that woman was stating is how she looked good before, and now she looks more muscular, and maybe thats the look you were going for. No OMG Ew she's ugly.. nothing like that.

Just unsure of what you are aiming for, and why you would want to do that when she looked good before.

So my last comment before I go, is stop getting so defensive and actually read/think about what people are trying to say. It would probably save you a lot of headache and energy.

Why is there anyone commenting on a success thread negatively about how she looks full stop? I see it on no other success threads?

Is it OK for me to say well you look slightly less fat than before, if that's what you are looking for?

And its not just thread, its any thread with a shapely woman in and often the same for men.

So stop looking at just one thread and concluding you know everything to which I this thread applies.

I know your response was not directed at me, but you kind of illustrated my point... The only time I've ever noticed you was in a thread that is now deleted. The OP asked for success stories from 1200 calorie eaters. You posted your girlfriend's pictures and, from what I can recall, basically said she eats much more than 1200, and this is how she looks.

so first of all, why post that? that's not what the OP asked for and it wasn't not at all relevant, from what I can remember (of course, the thread is gone now, so i can't recall if there was an actual reason why you would post in it). When someone responded saying "ewww", it got ugly.

But the truth is- it wasn't your/her success thread. You were coming in there to say, "look at us. we're successful and eat more than you!" so don't get hurt if someone else says, "that's not success".

Could they have been nicer? absolutely. It wasn't a nice thing to say, but you should also get some thicker skin. on your girlfriend's behalf that is.

jofjltncb6

I might be misremembering, but wasn't the "1200 calorie success" thread a response to a "1200 calories probably isn't appropriate for everyone who tries it" thread? I believe that might help explain why it was an atypical individual "success story" thread.

(Not sure if that's significant to the discussion, but wanted to clarify just in case.)

pawnstarNate

I don't like your shirt. That color is awful and the extended A? really? com'on!!!

Besides that...great job on your success!

jofjltncb6

I don't like your shirt. That color is awful and the extended A? really? com'on!!!

Besides that...great job on your success!

Hey! Shirt shaming is explicitly not allowed on MyFashionPal.com.


Er, wait...sorry. Wrong site.

MireyGal76

Maybe it is the approach to the thread posting...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/755146-i-want-to-bulk-up-d-pics

I posted this thread a while back... but I don't remember any negative comments. (and there were 6 pages of comments). I even used the trigger word BULK!

Maybe it's because you posted on your gf's behalf, and maybe it comes off as odd to some... that rather than see it as a success thread, they think it's something more.

I have seen a number of "I'm ripped now, and happy" type success threads that didn't get insulting... just as I've seen threads "I was 300 and am now 200 but still have 100 to go" threads where they were kind.

Yes, we've spent pages of pages debating on how people should be nice.. and you're right... we all should... and ESPECIALLY in SUCCESS STORIES threads... And I agree... c'mon peeps, put your nice panties on!

But maybe, just maybe (not saying there is merit to this), but maybe... it was the approach that triggered an atypical reaction.

Yo_Lazarov

Hey everyone,

Having read just snippets of this thread, I cannot help but cringe at the negativity, insults and/or an attitude that leaves a lot to desire, directed towards Matt & I.

I keep looking at the web address and it feels like nothing as a 'fitness pal'. Why are we resistive to being true (fitness) pals and prefer bashing results - whatever they may be, fat burn, muscularity, etc.?

Have we completely missed the point or purpose of this thread, to raise awareness of an unsupportive approach to fitness. We don't strive for same goals, and that is great. We don't all wish to look alike, be alike. Does not imply a hierarchy of importance, by no means.:flowerforyou:

I am aware - as previously stated - that I will not be accepted or liked by everyone, for the way I look, think, feel. In life I do not aim to satisfy other people's dreams but mine. I do not aim for people to find me 'attractive' (by definition - providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring; arousing interest), 'sexy' or someone you'd like to hit on or date. We simply post fitness results we have achieved through training and diet.


To those who are supportive, a MASSIVE THANK YOU!!! Brings me to tears to hear you find it inspirational. :blushing:

For me Matt has been heaven sent, the one person that has never put me down - NEVER! For that and everything else he represents to me, I appreciate and love him.

We discuss pictures that get released from our photo-shoots and we own copyright, so whatever gets release, please be assured it has been previously agreed and avoid jumping into assumptions and presumptions. We are a team after-all and work together on all our goals. We support each-others efforts and dreams fully.

Due to my work schedule (13 hour shifts on a PICU), in addition to other responsibilities, time constraints do not always allow me to engage in social media activities, as much as I'd like to, reason why my activity on this forum leaves to desire.:flowerforyou:

So thank you very much for your input! We welcome you with open arms if you share same goals and wish you the best of luck in your fitness pursuits.

Website: http://www.team-wild.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/TEAM-WILD-Matt-Wild-UKBFF-Gaspari-Rep-Yo-Lazarov-The-Newbie/416793921724418?ref=hl

Twitter: https://twitter.com/teamwildtvc

Instagram: http://instagram.com/teamwildtv

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/teamwildtv

RitaB19

Honestly, I think some people are just jealous. In real life I have been called skin and bones or you need to gain weight, etc. I have been told I'm too much competition. Maybe they think I've always been thin. But I haven't. I have lost a total of 40 lb, but it was many years ago. I work really hard to stay fit, workout 6x per week eat very healthy. I have to be very disciplined b/c its in my genes to be fat and overweight. I normally don't post in the forums, b/c I'd prefer not to debate, etc. I help people who ask for it, but won't offer it voluntarily anymore. Even with my Education and Personal Experience I can't make anyone change or do anything. It is up to them to take the advice and follow it. I am on MFP to help people when I can, because I want to see them succeed and feel good about themselves.

lauren_gibbons

You guys both look fantastic, saw some pics of Yo and you through Gym Geeks in the past month and couldn't believe she had only been training for 4 months to reach such body.
Amazing dedication and good luck to you both at your upcoming comps