Friends List envy?

Options
13567…13

Replies

  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Options
    I sent one of the cool kids a FR when I was new because I saw her success story and was really inspired. And she accepted! I was so happy!!

    Then she deleted me. I didn't know why...so I sent her a message asking why...

    ...and she ignored it.

    My heart was shattered; my fragile ego was destroyed. I projected back to eighth grade when my "best friend" told me she didn't want to be friends with me anymore because I didn't fit in with the cool kids.

    And yet I've built an amazing list of friends here on MFP and no longer feel the sting of her rejection on a daily basis.

    :laugh:

    People reject me on MFP all the time, but I don't take it personally. If you guys really knew me...well, you'd REALLY run in the other direction!

    ETA: I add anyone that sends a message with the request, and I request people that I seem to have many friends in common with.

    I have never been rejected. I have a perfect record.
  • IronPlayground
    IronPlayground Posts: 1,594 Member
    Options
    I'm too lazy!!! Plus, I'm not the best supporter. I get extremely busy during the week and don't always have time to comment on things.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Options
    Huh....I just don't like anyone.

    :brokenheart:

    That's twice today. I must not mean anything anymore. :sad:

    Here...I will share something lame with you to mend your heart. You were the first of the "cool people from the forums" (the ones I consider the cool people anyways) to send me a FR and it made me really excited. So, because of that you will always be one of my super-favs!

    :heart: :heart: :love: :love: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Aww it's all rainbows and puppies now.
  • likeschocolate
    likeschocolate Posts: 368 Member
    Options
    The qualities that usually have me asking are:
    - person comes across as intelligent / knowledgeable
    - person makes me laugh

    If someone says "No", they say no. It's not the end of the world.
  • toomuchbootyindapants
    toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
    Options
    You know what's funny - I'm sure even the so-called "cool kids" have insecurity issues that prevent them from sending friend requests. So when some people sit back and think "if I send one, s/he will probably reject it" - it's just a self-degrading thought. I mean, yeah, there are lots of reasons it may get declined, but I think we all need to stop taking it so personally. If you see someone you wanna be friends with - give it a shot - what have you REALLY got to lose? If said person doesn't accept - s/he will never know what he missed out on so it's not like he's gonna make some stupid judgment on you (unless your friend request message was really lame, then be prepared to be roasted on his list, muahahaha....or unless you're a real tool in the forums...or if...okay I'll stop).
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    Options
    I creeped crankstr from afar since she was on all of my friends lists until she added me :tongue: I always found her posts entertaining. I tend to try not to find new people...I feel bad when I do. I feel like I'm not giving enough support then my larger then I want it to be friends list already. It's hard to keep track of all of you :p I feel like I'm taking with little give.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Options
    I am happy with my current friends list. I like to keep it fairly small (compared to some people's at least) and I am quite shy.

    The short answer would have been "no".
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
    Options
    Yep, actually a lot of people replying to this thread are those I wish I had on my FL, but I'm trying to pace myself. I want to make sure I'm doing right by the folks I already have, and I'm also self-conscious about how new I am when it comes to the cool kids. I want to be a peer, not a fan, and that just isn't the case with the people I am drawn to. Oh well. Only time and work change that.
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
    Options
    Serious answer....pretty much all the people I had admired from afar are my friends now. There's only one person who I regularly want to FR but he intimidates me too much. So, I'll just keep being awesome.
  • hokus2
    hokus2 Posts: 17 Member
    Options
    I don't like to send FRs because if someone declines me I have to put them on my list, harass them, make them cry, make them sorry they ever declined me. It's just too much effort.

    SOoo true Ü
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    Options
    I sent one of the cool kids a FR when I was new because I saw her success story and was really inspired. And she accepted! I was so happy!!

    Then she deleted me. I didn't know why...so I sent her a message asking why...

    ...and she ignored it.

    My heart was shattered; my fragile ego was destroyed. I projected back to eighth grade when my "best friend" told me she didn't want to be friends with me anymore because I didn't fit in with the cool kids.

    And yet I've built an amazing list of friends here on MFP and no longer feel the sting of her rejection on a daily basis.

    :laugh:

    People reject me on MFP all the time, but I don't take it personally. If you guys really knew me...well, you'd REALLY run in the other direction!

    Let's wait for her outside of school tomorrow and beat her up!

    I :heart: you, Dani!! And my love is what makes you cool. :wink:
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Options
    ok, serious thread this time...

    do you ever look at your friends' walls and see people posting on there that you'd like to be friends with too, but to whom you have never sent a friend request?

    if so, why not? are you waiting for them to initiate it? are you worried they might not accept your friend request? do you already have too many friends?

    just curious.

    i guess i do have a few people i'd like to be friends with that i haven't sent requests to. the only reason i can come up with is that i have about a 33% rejection rate for the 15 or 16 friend requests i've sent in my time here and i think if i sent a friend request and they rejected it, i guess i'd feel weird interacting with them on the forums in the future. i can't be the only one who doesn't send requests for that reason, can i?



    I'm waiting for your FL
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Options
    You know what's funny - I'm sure even the so-called "cool kids" have insecurity issues that prevent them from sending friend requests. So when some people sit back and think "if I send one, s/he will probably reject it" - it's just a self-degrading thought. I mean, yeah, there are lots of reasons it may get declined, but I think we all need to stop taking it so personally. If you see someone you wanna be friends with - give it a shot - what have you REALLY got to lose? If said person doesn't accept - s/he will never know what he missed out on so it's not like he's gonna make some stupid judgment on you (unless your friend request message was really lame, then be prepared to be roasted on his list, muahahaha....or unless you're a real tool in the forums...or if...okay I'll stop).

    I was too scared to send you a message for the longest time.
    Then you sent me, because well, I am awesome...

    Now you fart on my wall all the time...it's a win/win relationship
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Options
    Because with as many friends as I have, I feel like a goofball sending out FR's.
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    Options
    I don't send out many FRs. Quite honestly, it's because I was bullied in middle and high school by a gal who would manipulate me and spread lies so other people would hate me. A couple of my siblings would constantly insult me and mock anything I said, from my earliest memories until maybe five years ago, when 800km between us kind of prevented it. I have a hard time accepting that people genuinely want to be my friend. I'm very outgoing but I tend to be skittish when it comes to close friendships.

    It's really pitiful saying it out loud like that, but there it is. But even though um feeling really glum right now, thinking about it, one thing I'm NOT going to do is binge on all sorts of random snacks. So there's that.
  • shutupandlift13
    shutupandlift13 Posts: 727 Member
    Options
    Because with as many friends as I have, I feel like a goofball sending out FR's.

    I was shocked when I saw your FR. He wants to be friends with little old me?! People take it as a compliment, not that you're a goofball.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    Options
    I FR anyone who catches my fancy. I write a well thought out message that both gives examples of compatibility and expresses my.immense level of awesomcity while simultaneously showing my.ridiculousness and deep-seeded crazy.

    If they deny me then I know its simply because they aren't ready for this jelly (jalapeno raspberry to be exact).
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Options
    Nah.

    Most of us are grown adults..

    I beg to differ...have you seen some of the ridiculous rules some people have for FR??!

    Lol! Yep.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Options
    Meh, I already have many incredible friends on my list who I would love to have more time to interact with.
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    Options
    I would envy my friends list, those people are pretty badass!

Categories