Friends List envy?

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Replies

  • Iron_Duchess
    Iron_Duchess Posts: 429 Member
    Fear of rejection.

    ^^This^^ Plus, for some reason it feels wrong to send a request to someone who has 100s of friends already, like many of the knowledgeable people here have.
  • pspetralia
    pspetralia Posts: 963 Member
    I don't like to send FRs because if someone declines me I have to put them on my list, harass them, make them cry, make them sorry they ever declined me. It's just too much effort.

    Best answer!!
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    Im just misunderstood..Apology not necessary. Im opinionated and shouldn't have expressed my political views here on MFP.
    That being said...Pour me a drink...stress is not a sweat pant I wear well.
    No, you were not misunderstood, you managed to offend a lot of people and an apology is necessary, though i am pretty sure no one expects you to man up and do that.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    I regularly see people who are friends with my friends and think they make an interesting/funny/twisted comment and become intrigued by that (by-curious, if you will).

    I'll skim their profile and previous posts to determine they're not crazy and send a request. It's much harder now with the recently implemented privacy controls because with private profiles I can't see previous posts. Kinda tough to make a judgment on one post or comment. And I'm too lazy to search via Google. So I move on. Probably missing out on some awesome people (there are at least two in this thread), but oh well. Not everyone is interested in hearing about my circus ferret training.

    yes, the new privacy controls do make it harder to figure out who is a good fit for your list. there are a couple of people posting on this thread that i would accept if they sent a FR, but since i don't really know them except for what i've seen on my friends' walls, i would feel weird sending an FR.
    See, you get me. I'm glad I sent that friend request to you. I especially enjoy all the Twilight fan fiction you send me.

    Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! or i'll tell everyone you're on Team Edward!
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    Im just misunderstood..Apology not necessary. Im opinionated and shouldn't have expressed my political views here on MFP.
    That being said...Pour me a drink...stress is not a sweat pant I wear well.
    No, you were not misunderstood, you managed to offend a lot of people and an apology is necessary, though i am pretty sure no one expects you to man up and do that.

    :drinker: :drinker:
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    Sorry to tell you, you are the only one.

    tumblr_mbjpkahL7S1ran3jeo1_500.gif

    David Tennant ftw!
  • solarpower03
    solarpower03 Posts: 12,161 Member
    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Misunderstood: The MFP version.

    well-adjusted-goth.png
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    I don't send friend requests. Seems kinda needy.:glasses: <-- cool kid smiley
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    i agree with this except for 2 cases.

    1) obvious friend collectors without messages in their FR
    2) people selling something (trainers, shake salesmen, DVD salesmen, etc.)
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    i agree with this except for 2 cases.

    1) obvious friend collectors without messages in their FR
    2) people selling something (trainers, shake salesmen, DVD salesmen, etc.)

    But you NNNNNNNNEEEEEEEDDDDD Shakeology!!!

    DRINK IT!!!

    DDDRRRIIINNNKKK IIIITTTT!!!!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Nope snagged post and quoted....
    Today wasn't one of my getting along with MFP folks today..I cant please ery one with my opinions..
    Will do better tomorrow.

    :flowerforyou:


    Trying to apologize?

    Im just misunderstood..Apology not necessary. Im opinionated and shouldn't have expressed my political views here on MFP.
    That being said...Pour me a drink...stress is not a sweat pant I wear well.

    You know, I've screwed up pretty bad IRL, but I made sure I ate mouthfuls of crow and apologized. Some chose to forgive, others didn't, but the important ones did. It makes a difference.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    i agree with this except for 2 cases.

    1) obvious friend collectors without messages in their FR
    2) people selling something (trainers, shake salesmen, DVD salesmen, etc.)

    sorry, I disagree.
    there are times when i get 25 to 50 messages in a day... i might accept 1 or 2...and decline the rest because my list has gotten on the large side

    i dont have time to sit and write to everyone.

    and when friends have written success stories I have heard them say they have gotten as many as 200 FR's...with very nice messages I am sure...but to write to all of them?
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    There are a lot of people I see and kind of interact with on the forums and on my friend's lists that I'd like to add, but I don't FR. Not so much because I fear rejection, I tend to just assume it. I just assume that I'm going to annoy people most of the time.

    Half the time I'm amazed the a lot of my friends on here accepted. I am also just crazy enough to sometimes believe it's a grand joke they're playing, like I'm the goofy kid everyone keeps around to laugh at. I have ZERO reason to think this...it's just a left over from a time when I had absolutely no self esteem as a kid. The biggest part of my FL, I love to death though. The rest, I figure I'll get there in time. I also figure if there's someone not on my FL that should be, at some point one of us will get around to FR-ing.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    There are a lot of people I see and kind of interact with on the forums and on my friend's lists that I'd like to add, but I don't FR. Not so much because I fear rejection, I tend to just assume it. I just assume that I'm going to annoy people most of the time.

    Half the time I'm amazed the a lot of my friends on here accepted. I am also just crazy enough to sometimes believe it's a grand joke they're playing, like I'm the goofy kid everyone keeps around to laugh at. I have ZERO reason to think this...it's just a left over from a time when I had absolutely no self esteem as a kid. The biggest part of my FL, I love to death though. The rest, I figure I'll get there in time. I also figure if there's someone not on my FL that should be, at some point one of us will get around to FR-ing.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    There are so many people that I admire from afar. I'd love to send out a FR to all of them. But the friends I currently have are awesome and if I become overwhelmed with new ones I don't want to neglect the ones I have. If I get deleted I'll usually add someone new after awhile.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    There are a lot of people I see and kind of interact with on the forums and on my friend's lists that I'd like to add, but I don't FR. Not so much because I fear rejection, I tend to just assume it. I just assume that I'm going to annoy people most of the time.

    Half the time I'm amazed the a lot of my friends on here accepted. I am also just crazy enough to sometimes believe it's a grand joke they're playing, like I'm the goofy kid everyone keeps around to laugh at. I have ZERO reason to think this...it's just a left over from a time when I had absolutely no self esteem as a kid. The biggest part of my FL, I love to death though. The rest, I figure I'll get there in time. I also figure if there's someone not on my FL that should be, at some point one of us will get around to FR-ing.

    I feel the exact same way.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    There are so many people that I admire from afar. I'd love to send out a FR to all of them. But the friends I currently have are awesome and if I become overwhelmed with new ones I don't want to neglect the ones I have. If I get deleted I'll usually add someone new after awhile.

    This is how I see it. I just don't want to wind up with a list so big that I can't keep up on the friends that I do have. And Crankstr is right - if you're active on the forums you can wind up with ten or more requests a day. These days I accept or invite people who I genuinely feel we both click with each other. More than just fitness goals, but personality and interests.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Nah, I just creep their profile, watching them from afar, hoping they'll notice me and send me a FR. It's just like in real life when you sit in the bushes outside their window, eventually they'll see you, feel sorry for you, and invite inside. Or call the police. Either way, you got some interaction!
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    ok, serious thread this time...

    do you ever look at your friends' walls and see people posting on there that you'd like to be friends with too, but to whom you have never sent a friend request?

    if so, why not? are you waiting for them to initiate it? are you worried they might not accept your friend request? do you already have too many friends?

    just curious.

    i guess i do have a few people i'd like to be friends with that i haven't sent requests to. the only reason i can come up with is that i have about a 33% rejection rate for the 15 or 16 friend requests i've sent in my time here and i think if i sent a friend request and they rejected it, i guess i'd feel weird interacting with them on the forums in the future. i can't be the only one who doesn't send requests for that reason, can i?

    is this the reason why you haven't requested me?

    sometimes, and i'm afraid i'll get flack for this, i feel that parts of MFP are a cool kids' club...and maybe from years of being unpopular, i fear that i'll never quite fit in. even though i'm a grown woman, beautiful and happy--and almost 30. but i still have insecurities of fitting in.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    Buahaha! I am incredibly rude then. I am rude to stange men who request me on the Internet because the 500 women on their FL certainly is not enough. :sad: I am surely going to hell.
  • Amy62575
    Amy62575 Posts: 422 Member
    You know, I've screwed up pretty bad IRL, but I made sure I ate mouthfuls of crow and apologized. Some chose to forgive, others didn't, but the important ones did. It makes a difference.

    Totally in agreement with you if you behaved poorly. But I also think bad character is something you don't forgive -- it is what it is and we choose not to surround ourselves with it. IMO, what we've seen today is more like bad character, not bad behavior.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    There are a lot of people I see and kind of interact with on the forums and on my friend's lists that I'd like to add, but I don't FR. Not so much because I fear rejection, I tend to just assume it. I just assume that I'm going to annoy people most of the time.

    Half the time I'm amazed the a lot of my friends on here accepted. I am also just crazy enough to sometimes believe it's a grand joke they're playing, like I'm the goofy kid everyone keeps around to laugh at. I have ZERO reason to think this...it's just a left over from a time when I had absolutely no self esteem as a kid. The biggest part of my FL, I love to death though. The rest, I figure I'll get there in time. I also figure if there's someone not on my FL that should be, at some point one of us will get around to FR-ing.

    I feel the exact same way.

    I feel similarly yet I am just annoying enough to friend request anyway.

    "a tiger in a cage can never see the sun. This diva needs her stage, baby let's have some fun! You are the one I choose, folks would kill to fill your shoes... Take me for who I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn take me baby, or leave me."
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    i agree with this except for 2 cases.

    1) obvious friend collectors without messages in their FR
    2) people selling something (trainers, shake salesmen, DVD salesmen, etc.)

    sorry, I disagree.
    there are times when i get 25 to 50 messages in a day... i might accept 1 or 2...and decline the rest because my list has gotten on the large side

    i dont have time to sit and write to everyone.

    and when friends have written success stories I have heard them say they have gotten as many as 200 FR's...with very nice messages I am sure...but to write to all of them?

    I agree with you. I don't think it's rude to not respond. People's reasons are no one else's business, and there can be many possible reasons. It's not people's job to dole out criticism or justify their reasons.
  • mishiimouse
    mishiimouse Posts: 4 Member
    Sorry to tell you, you are the only one.

    tumblr_mbjpkahL7S1ran3jeo1_500.gif

    so many plus points for the tennant gif...
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member

    I feel similarly yet I am just annoying enough to friend request anyway.

    "a tiger in a cage can never see the sun. This diva needs her stage, baby let's have some fun! You are the one I choose, folks would kill to fill your shoes... Take me for who I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn take me baby, or leave me."

    I <3 Rent so hard.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    Buahaha! I am incredibly rude then. I am rude to stange men who request me on the Internet because the 500 women on their FL certainly is not enough. :sad: I am surely going to hell.

    Lol!
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    It's ok...just send me the request already! I don't bite! :laugh:

    :grumble: Well I better put my dollar back :sad:
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    You know, I've screwed up pretty bad IRL, but I made sure I ate mouthfuls of crow and apologized. Some chose to forgive, others didn't, but the important ones did. It makes a difference.

    Totally in agreement with you if you behaved poorly. But I also think bad character is something you don't forgive -- it is what it is and we choose not to surround ourselves with it. IMO, what we've seen today is more like bad character, not bad behavior.

    Perhaps, but I try to avoid snap judgments. My wife always tells me that I'm too forgiving though so who knows. I just know that I have to look in the mirror before judging another human being and it always gives me pause.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member

    I feel similarly yet I am just annoying enough to friend request anyway.

    "a tiger in a cage can never see the sun. This diva needs her stage, baby let's have some fun! You are the one I choose, folks would kill to fill your shoes... Take me for who I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn take me baby, or leave me."

    I <3 Rent so hard.

    I sent a FR because of it.

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