Friends List envy?

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  • Iron_Duchess
    Iron_Duchess Posts: 429 Member
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    Fear of rejection.

    ^^This^^ Plus, for some reason it feels wrong to send a request to someone who has 100s of friends already, like many of the knowledgeable people here have.
  • pspetralia
    pspetralia Posts: 963 Member
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    I don't like to send FRs because if someone declines me I have to put them on my list, harass them, make them cry, make them sorry they ever declined me. It's just too much effort.

    Best answer!!
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    Im just misunderstood..Apology not necessary. Im opinionated and shouldn't have expressed my political views here on MFP.
    That being said...Pour me a drink...stress is not a sweat pant I wear well.
    No, you were not misunderstood, you managed to offend a lot of people and an apology is necessary, though i am pretty sure no one expects you to man up and do that.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    I regularly see people who are friends with my friends and think they make an interesting/funny/twisted comment and become intrigued by that (by-curious, if you will).

    I'll skim their profile and previous posts to determine they're not crazy and send a request. It's much harder now with the recently implemented privacy controls because with private profiles I can't see previous posts. Kinda tough to make a judgment on one post or comment. And I'm too lazy to search via Google. So I move on. Probably missing out on some awesome people (there are at least two in this thread), but oh well. Not everyone is interested in hearing about my circus ferret training.

    yes, the new privacy controls do make it harder to figure out who is a good fit for your list. there are a couple of people posting on this thread that i would accept if they sent a FR, but since i don't really know them except for what i've seen on my friends' walls, i would feel weird sending an FR.
    See, you get me. I'm glad I sent that friend request to you. I especially enjoy all the Twilight fan fiction you send me.

    Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! or i'll tell everyone you're on Team Edward!
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
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    Im just misunderstood..Apology not necessary. Im opinionated and shouldn't have expressed my political views here on MFP.
    That being said...Pour me a drink...stress is not a sweat pant I wear well.
    No, you were not misunderstood, you managed to offend a lot of people and an apology is necessary, though i am pretty sure no one expects you to man up and do that.

    :drinker: :drinker:
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
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    Sorry to tell you, you are the only one.

    tumblr_mbjpkahL7S1ran3jeo1_500.gif

    David Tennant ftw!
  • solarpower03
    solarpower03 Posts: 12,161 Member
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    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Misunderstood: The MFP version.

    well-adjusted-goth.png
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
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    I don't send friend requests. Seems kinda needy.:glasses: <-- cool kid smiley
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    i agree with this except for 2 cases.

    1) obvious friend collectors without messages in their FR
    2) people selling something (trainers, shake salesmen, DVD salesmen, etc.)
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
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    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    i agree with this except for 2 cases.

    1) obvious friend collectors without messages in their FR
    2) people selling something (trainers, shake salesmen, DVD salesmen, etc.)

    But you NNNNNNNNEEEEEEEDDDDD Shakeology!!!

    DRINK IT!!!

    DDDRRRIIINNNKKK IIIITTTT!!!!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    Nope snagged post and quoted....
    Today wasn't one of my getting along with MFP folks today..I cant please ery one with my opinions..
    Will do better tomorrow.

    :flowerforyou:


    Trying to apologize?

    Im just misunderstood..Apology not necessary. Im opinionated and shouldn't have expressed my political views here on MFP.
    That being said...Pour me a drink...stress is not a sweat pant I wear well.

    You know, I've screwed up pretty bad IRL, but I made sure I ate mouthfuls of crow and apologized. Some chose to forgive, others didn't, but the important ones did. It makes a difference.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    If I don't accept FR, I do reply with a reason. To me, not replying to an FR is incredibly rude.

    i agree with this except for 2 cases.

    1) obvious friend collectors without messages in their FR
    2) people selling something (trainers, shake salesmen, DVD salesmen, etc.)

    sorry, I disagree.
    there are times when i get 25 to 50 messages in a day... i might accept 1 or 2...and decline the rest because my list has gotten on the large side

    i dont have time to sit and write to everyone.

    and when friends have written success stories I have heard them say they have gotten as many as 200 FR's...with very nice messages I am sure...but to write to all of them?
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
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    There are a lot of people I see and kind of interact with on the forums and on my friend's lists that I'd like to add, but I don't FR. Not so much because I fear rejection, I tend to just assume it. I just assume that I'm going to annoy people most of the time.

    Half the time I'm amazed the a lot of my friends on here accepted. I am also just crazy enough to sometimes believe it's a grand joke they're playing, like I'm the goofy kid everyone keeps around to laugh at. I have ZERO reason to think this...it's just a left over from a time when I had absolutely no self esteem as a kid. The biggest part of my FL, I love to death though. The rest, I figure I'll get there in time. I also figure if there's someone not on my FL that should be, at some point one of us will get around to FR-ing.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    There are a lot of people I see and kind of interact with on the forums and on my friend's lists that I'd like to add, but I don't FR. Not so much because I fear rejection, I tend to just assume it. I just assume that I'm going to annoy people most of the time.

    Half the time I'm amazed the a lot of my friends on here accepted. I am also just crazy enough to sometimes believe it's a grand joke they're playing, like I'm the goofy kid everyone keeps around to laugh at. I have ZERO reason to think this...it's just a left over from a time when I had absolutely no self esteem as a kid. The biggest part of my FL, I love to death though. The rest, I figure I'll get there in time. I also figure if there's someone not on my FL that should be, at some point one of us will get around to FR-ing.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    There are so many people that I admire from afar. I'd love to send out a FR to all of them. But the friends I currently have are awesome and if I become overwhelmed with new ones I don't want to neglect the ones I have. If I get deleted I'll usually add someone new after awhile.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    There are a lot of people I see and kind of interact with on the forums and on my friend's lists that I'd like to add, but I don't FR. Not so much because I fear rejection, I tend to just assume it. I just assume that I'm going to annoy people most of the time.

    Half the time I'm amazed the a lot of my friends on here accepted. I am also just crazy enough to sometimes believe it's a grand joke they're playing, like I'm the goofy kid everyone keeps around to laugh at. I have ZERO reason to think this...it's just a left over from a time when I had absolutely no self esteem as a kid. The biggest part of my FL, I love to death though. The rest, I figure I'll get there in time. I also figure if there's someone not on my FL that should be, at some point one of us will get around to FR-ing.

    I feel the exact same way.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    There are so many people that I admire from afar. I'd love to send out a FR to all of them. But the friends I currently have are awesome and if I become overwhelmed with new ones I don't want to neglect the ones I have. If I get deleted I'll usually add someone new after awhile.

    This is how I see it. I just don't want to wind up with a list so big that I can't keep up on the friends that I do have. And Crankstr is right - if you're active on the forums you can wind up with ten or more requests a day. These days I accept or invite people who I genuinely feel we both click with each other. More than just fitness goals, but personality and interests.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
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    Nah, I just creep their profile, watching them from afar, hoping they'll notice me and send me a FR. It's just like in real life when you sit in the bushes outside their window, eventually they'll see you, feel sorry for you, and invite inside. Or call the police. Either way, you got some interaction!
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
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    ok, serious thread this time...

    do you ever look at your friends' walls and see people posting on there that you'd like to be friends with too, but to whom you have never sent a friend request?

    if so, why not? are you waiting for them to initiate it? are you worried they might not accept your friend request? do you already have too many friends?

    just curious.

    i guess i do have a few people i'd like to be friends with that i haven't sent requests to. the only reason i can come up with is that i have about a 33% rejection rate for the 15 or 16 friend requests i've sent in my time here and i think if i sent a friend request and they rejected it, i guess i'd feel weird interacting with them on the forums in the future. i can't be the only one who doesn't send requests for that reason, can i?

    is this the reason why you haven't requested me?

    sometimes, and i'm afraid i'll get flack for this, i feel that parts of MFP are a cool kids' club...and maybe from years of being unpopular, i fear that i'll never quite fit in. even though i'm a grown woman, beautiful and happy--and almost 30. but i still have insecurities of fitting in.

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