I want him, He doesnt want me :(.. Vent/Rant

IWantToo

I feel like i can fall deeply in love with this guy, we met not even two weeks ago... and we see each other almost everyday, last week alone we were together every day except Friday, today's not over and im telling myself I wont see him today, because we have plans tomorrow.. but honestly if he wants to hang out later I feel like its a maybe and thats what worries me...in the past if i didnt want to hang out with a guy it was a firm no in my head no teetering... seriously i love the way he bear hugs me i could hug him all night, he makes me feel so comfortable, he has the same beliefs as me, hes a christian which is huge and usually im the only one saying grace amongst my friends, but with him he'll stop me if i forget for a second and take a bite and he'll say grace.. i feel like we are so compatible and could fall so deeply in love...BUT HE Doesnt want to make COMMITMENT, I couldn't figure out why.. we've discussed it over and over he says he wants to take it slow its only been a week but two days after we met initially he Said that he wanted more he really like me and didnt care and wanted more and now its a different story, which is fine because I didnt really pay much attention to that I thought it was weird.. but now i want it and he wont give it to me.

Basically he's said in so many words, i know him the best part of him, but not the other part. He likes to drink and smoke and hang out with his friend constantly, basically he likes his freedom.. when the boys roll through he wants to go... I dont drink or smoke so it would be weird he thinks for me to hang out with him and his friends and he says he doenst want to corrupt me.., which is fine lol, because i wasnt going to, i can be around it, smh.. He opened up a little to me last night and said he has to grow up that its not all about hanging with your friends and he has to make time for a woman in his life.. and that he'll be a horrible boyfriend because he might not call or text for a week, I said a week??? he said he was exaggerating and he just means a while and a girlfriends wants constant attention and its true I DO WANT CONSTANT ATTENTION.

I told him i understood, but it basically didnt apply because we see each other about everyday... he shrug and said ye he understood and in the last 10 mins, literally he got 20 phone calls 10+ people showing up at his house and it was 1 am I was like wtf.. WOW i see what hes talking about a lot of people do want his attention and they all want to hang out with him.. but they ALL have girlfriends, but of coarse their girlfriends smoke and drink.. just geeze.. i want him to make a commitment already. im not even sure why i want him to its only been a couple of weeks but it feels like way longer when you ee each other daily.

Thanks for letting me vent/rant.

whierd

Lol.

You are a little too clingy and he isnt ready to grow up.

Cr01502

You should start drinking and smoking.

bellavita0125

I mean this in the nicest way possible.....

.....he's not that into you. Move on and find someone that can reciprocate what you're trying to give. I'm sure you're a great girl, but it really sounds like he isn't ready to grow up or commit, especially after only 2 weeks

skinnyinnotime

I can't believe you're 31, I thought this was an under 20 year old writing this.

You want commitment after 2 weeks??? You're lucky he's not run away as fast as he can, that's just nuts imo.

IWantToo

You should start drinking and smoking.

LOLLLLLL

and above im very clingy which is why i wont see him tonight (maybe) lol seriouly i wont i saw him last night and we have plans tomorrow i need to ween off of him lmaooo

PrettyPearl88

Okay girl....WOAH!!! You've only known this guy for not even two weeks??!! You need to chill out! You're being WAY TOO CLINGY!!! (And your clinginess is probably turning him off.) Seriously, you don't even know this guy that well. He may be immature and his faith may even be fake for all you know. Or he may not be a good match for you. But you don't know any of that right now because you BARELY EVEN KNOW HIM.

Just chill out, relax, and give it all time. Focus on you, your life, and your friends and if he's interested, let him come to you, don't chase him or pressure him into dating you. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen.

Good luck and God bless, girlie! *hugs*

yogasweety

relax, it's only been two weeks. You really don't know him....

Invest in yourself first, worry about everything ELSE like this second.

You don't need a man to give you attention, give yourself attention and relax...

JustAboutDelicious_wechanged

If anything is going to happen it has to happen organically. If he wants you he will know where to find you, in the meantime stay busy and enjoy life. I imagine you were doing this before you met him so continue with that. Don't put too much time into a guy you just met, big mistake. Just have fun together and don't be too serious or you will scare the crap out of him. Just my thoughts.

Warchortle

He's being honest which is far better than the alternative. I will agree with the previous statement of you are being overly clingy / needy. This is coming from someone who has been on both sides of that fence.

BrendaLee

Aside from saying grace before eating, you guys don't really sound all that compatible. Yeah, it sucks to want someone who doesn't want you as much as you want them, but it sounds like he's telling you straight up you're not what he's looking for.

oregonzoo

Sit down and have a talk about EXACTLY what you expect/desire from a relationship.
Figure out exactly what he can give

And if it doesn't mesh, move on. Life is too short to spend pining away.

haley255

Aside from saying grace before eating, you guys don't really sound all that compatible. Yeah, it sucks to want someone who doesn't want you as much as you want them, but it sounds like he's telling you straight up you're not what he's looking for.

^this. And whoever said to start drinking and smoking, that too.

vtmoon

Is there such a thing as a class 6 clinger?

IWantToo

I can't believe your 31, I thought this was an under 20 year old writing this.

You want commitment after 2 weeks??? You're lucky he's not run away as fast as he can, that's just nuts imo.

Youre not the only one, I think it sounds young and nuts too.. lol well at least in theory.

but it in reality when you see someone everyday obviously youre into them and your both not seeing anyone else.. your just kind of like umm what are we doing, where are we gong, why are we waiting to label..

PikaKnight

Just break up and move on.

No really. He doesn't want to make a commitment to you and you are trying to force something on him that he isn't ready for. Stop being pushy, clingy and live your life.

clarkeje1

I agree with the above posters. I can't believe you are 31 writing this. I thought this was coming from a 16 year old or younger. It doesn't sound like either of you are ready for a relationship at the moment.

khall86790

Is there such a thing as a class 6 clinger?

If not this is 100% a stage 5.

I am wondering if this is actually a joke...

gemmaleigh1989

Whoa you're 31?! I too thought this was writing of a 15 year old . not only the grammar and spelling, but the context of your entire speel. It's been 2 weeks! Not being mean but you need to back off if you want any chance with him. I'm surprised he hasn't gone running in the other direction.... Yet.

PrettyPearl88

but it in reality when you see someone everyday obviously youre into them and your both not seeing anyone else.. your just kind of like umm what are we doing, where are we gong, why are we waiting to label..

Actually, I don't feel that way at all. And I don't think it's healthy to feel that way either. I would never want to commit to someone I just meet less than two weeks ago! I would barely even know him. What if he's a rapist, a pedophile, or serial killer?! Sheesh, that's crazy! I like to have somewhat of an idea of who I'm committing to lol!

You should start drinking and smoking.

Naw, don't do this OP! Drinking in moderation is fine, but smoking and heavy drinking aren't good for your health. Stay healthy, strong, and happy!

gemmaleigh1989

I can't believe your 31, I thought this was an under 20 year old writing this.

You want commitment after 2 weeks??? You're lucky he's not run away as fast as he can, that's just nuts imo.

Youre not the only one, I think it sounds young and nuts too.. lol well at least in theory.

but it in reality when you see someone everyday obviously youre into them and your both not seeing anyone else.. your just kind of like umm what are we doing, where are we gong, why are we waiting to label..

Ummm no, not after 2 weeks and when he has made it clear he doesn't want a girlfriend.

rompers16

Too soon for you to be worrying about all this..worry about it after you've been dating much, much longer!

w2bab

1. He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out.
---> Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.


2. He's just not that into you if he's not calling you.
---> Men know how to use the phone.

3. He's just not that into you if he's not dating you.
---> "I don't want to be in a serious relationship" means "I don't want to be in a serious relationship with you." And c'mon... better than nothing is not good enough for you.

4. He's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else.
---> There's NEVER going to be a good excuse for cheating.

5. He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk.
---> If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgement isn't impaired.

6. He's just not that into you if he doesn't want to marry you.
---> LOVE cures commitment-phobia. Greg says: "I'd marry my wife in every time zone if that's what she wanted."

7. He's just not that into you if he's breaking up with you.
---> "I don't want to go out with you" means just that. Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, HE is still the same person who just broke up with you.

8. He's just not that into you if he's disappeared on you.
---> Sometimes you have to get closure all by yourself. In the short term, it may feel good to call someone and yell at him. But in the long run, you will have wished you had not given him that much credit for ruining your life.

9. He's just not that into you if he's married (and other insane variations of being unavailable).
---> If you're not able to love him freely, it's not really love. Unless he's all yours, he's still hers.

10. He's just not that into you if he's a selfish jerk, a bully or a really big freak.
---> If you really love someone, you want to do things that make that person happy. If you date, you will meet your share of wierdos and jerks. The only thing in your control is how long you allow these "gentlemen" to take up space in your life.

Contrarian

Brianna72994

Clingy much? If you want an ADULT relationship you need to realize you aren't gonna have "constant attention". Everyone needs their own space.

AllTehBeers

I thought only lesbians moved this fast.

mamax5

Um, I don't know where to start...been around him for 2 weeks and your already talking about weaning yourself from him?? Are you normally needy in relationships? I mean you sound like me at 16...sorry, but it's true. I met my hubby at 22 and I had been married to him a while before I wanted a ton of attention from him...now I absolutely head over heels for him and relish about every moment, but we've been married for 10 1/2 years now. But, 2 weeks you should still be in the getting to know each other phase and not even really be thinking about love yet. JMHO

michellemybelll

Is there such a thing as a class 6 clinger?

..you read my mind..

the op is sounding a little fatal attraction-y

jamiem1102

Someone here said, "Break up," but... there's nothing to break up because they aren't in a relationship. *shrug* He doesn't want to commit so he doesn't owe you anything... he doesn't want to lie to you, that's a plus, but it kind of ends there.

If you're fine with him just having you around at his convenience, well then fine, but you shouldn't push something if he isn't interested in. You should want him to commit when he's ready and willing to commit.

I think you should be less available for him and focus on yourself and other things. When he starts to realize you aren't there every time he wants you, well then he'll be forced to make a decision... and that's when you'll know how serious he is about you.

Good luck!

IWantToo

I loveeee most of the post in this thread. Thank you to everyone who has actual advice and put Some thought into it and spoke from a good place...

All the people talking about grammar and age and other nonsense lol no comment.

dezcast

I thought only lesbians moved this fast.

I'm supposed to move this fast?? I've been doing it all wrong :laugh: