I want him, He doesnt want me :(.. Vent/Rant

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IWantToo
IWantToo Posts: 162
in Chit-Chat
I feel like i can fall deeply in love with this guy, we met not even two weeks ago... and we see each other almost everyday, last week alone we were together every day except Friday, today's not over and im telling myself I wont see him today, because we have plans tomorrow.. but honestly if he wants to hang out later I feel like its a maybe and thats what worries me...in the past if i didnt want to hang out with a guy it was a firm no in my head no teetering... seriously i love the way he bear hugs me i could hug him all night, he makes me feel so comfortable, he has the same beliefs as me, hes a christian which is huge and usually im the only one saying grace amongst my friends, but with him he'll stop me if i forget for a second and take a bite and he'll say grace.. i feel like we are so compatible and could fall so deeply in love...BUT HE Doesnt want to make COMMITMENT, I couldn't figure out why.. we've discussed it over and over he says he wants to take it slow its only been a week but two days after we met initially he Said that he wanted more he really like me and didnt care and wanted more and now its a different story, which is fine because I didnt really pay much attention to that I thought it was weird.. but now i want it and he wont give it to me.

Basically he's said in so many words, i know him the best part of him, but not the other part. He likes to drink and smoke and hang out with his friend constantly, basically he likes his freedom.. when the boys roll through he wants to go... I dont drink or smoke so it would be weird he thinks for me to hang out with him and his friends and he says he doenst want to corrupt me.., which is fine lol, because i wasnt going to, i can be around it, smh.. He opened up a little to me last night and said he has to grow up that its not all about hanging with your friends and he has to make time for a woman in his life.. and that he'll be a horrible boyfriend because he might not call or text for a week, I said a week??? he said he was exaggerating and he just means a while and a girlfriends wants constant attention and its true I DO WANT CONSTANT ATTENTION.

I told him i understood, but it basically didnt apply because we see each other about everyday... he shrug and said ye he understood and in the last 10 mins, literally he got 20 phone calls 10+ people showing up at his house and it was 1 am I was like wtf.. WOW i see what hes talking about a lot of people do want his attention and they all want to hang out with him.. but they ALL have girlfriends, but of coarse their girlfriends smoke and drink.. just geeze.. i want him to make a commitment already. im not even sure why i want him to its only been a couple of weeks but it feels like way longer when you ee each other daily.

Thanks for letting me vent/rant.
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Replies

  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Lol.

    You are a little too clingy and he isnt ready to grow up.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    You should start drinking and smoking.
  • bellavita0125
    bellavita0125 Posts: 116 Member
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    I mean this in the nicest way possible.....

    .....he's not that into you. Move on and find someone that can reciprocate what you're trying to give. I'm sure you're a great girl, but it really sounds like he isn't ready to grow up or commit, especially after only 2 weeks
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    I can't believe you're 31, I thought this was an under 20 year old writing this.

    You want commitment after 2 weeks??? You're lucky he's not run away as fast as he can, that's just nuts imo.
  • IWantToo
    IWantToo Posts: 162
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    You should start drinking and smoking.
    LOLLLLLL

    and above im very clingy which is why i wont see him tonight (maybe) lol seriouly i wont i saw him last night and we have plans tomorrow i need to ween off of him lmaooo
  • PrettyPearl88
    PrettyPearl88 Posts: 368 Member
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    Okay girl....WOAH!!! You've only known this guy for not even two weeks??!! You need to chill out! You're being WAY TOO CLINGY!!! (And your clinginess is probably turning him off.) Seriously, you don't even know this guy that well. He may be immature and his faith may even be fake for all you know. Or he may not be a good match for you. But you don't know any of that right now because you BARELY EVEN KNOW HIM.

    Just chill out, relax, and give it all time. Focus on you, your life, and your friends and if he's interested, let him come to you, don't chase him or pressure him into dating you. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen.

    Good luck and God bless, girlie! *hugs*
  • yogasweety
    yogasweety Posts: 13 Member
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    relax, it's only been two weeks. You really don't know him....

    Invest in yourself first, worry about everything ELSE like this second.

    You don't need a man to give you attention, give yourself attention and relax...
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,487 Member
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    If anything is going to happen it has to happen organically. If he wants you he will know where to find you, in the meantime stay busy and enjoy life. I imagine you were doing this before you met him so continue with that. Don't put too much time into a guy you just met, big mistake. Just have fun together and don't be too serious or you will scare the crap out of him. Just my thoughts.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
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    He's being honest which is far better than the alternative. I will agree with the previous statement of you are being overly clingy / needy. This is coming from someone who has been on both sides of that fence.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    Aside from saying grace before eating, you guys don't really sound all that compatible. Yeah, it sucks to want someone who doesn't want you as much as you want them, but it sounds like he's telling you straight up you're not what he's looking for.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Sit down and have a talk about EXACTLY what you expect/desire from a relationship.
    Figure out exactly what he can give

    And if it doesn't mesh, move on. Life is too short to spend pining away.
  • haley255
    haley255 Posts: 117 Member
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    Aside from saying grace before eating, you guys don't really sound all that compatible. Yeah, it sucks to want someone who doesn't want you as much as you want them, but it sounds like he's telling you straight up you're not what he's looking for.

    ^this. And whoever said to start drinking and smoking, that too.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    Is there such a thing as a class 6 clinger?
  • IWantToo
    IWantToo Posts: 162
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    I can't believe your 31, I thought this was an under 20 year old writing this.

    You want commitment after 2 weeks??? You're lucky he's not run away as fast as he can, that's just nuts imo.
    Youre not the only one, I think it sounds young and nuts too.. lol well at least in theory.

    but it in reality when you see someone everyday obviously youre into them and your both not seeing anyone else.. your just kind of like umm what are we doing, where are we gong, why are we waiting to label..
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Just break up and move on.

    No really. He doesn't want to make a commitment to you and you are trying to force something on him that he isn't ready for. Stop being pushy, clingy and live your life.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,637 Member
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    I agree with the above posters. I can't believe you are 31 writing this. I thought this was coming from a 16 year old or younger. It doesn't sound like either of you are ready for a relationship at the moment.
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Is there such a thing as a class 6 clinger?

    If not this is 100% a stage 5.

    I am wondering if this is actually a joke...
  • gemmaleigh1989
    gemmaleigh1989 Posts: 241 Member
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    Whoa you're 31?! I too thought this was writing of a 15 year old . not only the grammar and spelling, but the context of your entire speel. It's been 2 weeks! Not being mean but you need to back off if you want any chance with him. I'm surprised he hasn't gone running in the other direction.... Yet.
  • PrettyPearl88
    PrettyPearl88 Posts: 368 Member
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    but it in reality when you see someone everyday obviously youre into them and your both not seeing anyone else.. your just kind of like umm what are we doing, where are we gong, why are we waiting to label..

    Actually, I don't feel that way at all. And I don't think it's healthy to feel that way either. I would never want to commit to someone I just meet less than two weeks ago! I would barely even know him. What if he's a rapist, a pedophile, or serial killer?! Sheesh, that's crazy! I like to have somewhat of an idea of who I'm committing to lol!

    You should start drinking and smoking.

    Naw, don't do this OP! Drinking in moderation is fine, but smoking and heavy drinking aren't good for your health. Stay healthy, strong, and happy! :D
  • gemmaleigh1989
    gemmaleigh1989 Posts: 241 Member
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    I can't believe your 31, I thought this was an under 20 year old writing this.

    You want commitment after 2 weeks??? You're lucky he's not run away as fast as he can, that's just nuts imo.
    Youre not the only one, I think it sounds young and nuts too.. lol well at least in theory.

    but it in reality when you see someone everyday obviously youre into them and your both not seeing anyone else.. your just kind of like umm what are we doing, where are we gong, why are we waiting to label..

    Ummm no, not after 2 weeks and when he has made it clear he doesn't want a girlfriend.

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