'No, I don't date BIG girls'
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7/10 women to me aren't attractive anywhoosers, besides personality is king0
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It's a good thing I'm not nice . . . though I do have a man crush on at least one of my friends . . .0 -
i WILL go about with guys that have 'squishy middles' (reference my current bf and 3 out of 4 past LTRs). i m not a 'chubby chaser'; i just am not shallow myself and find that 'squishy' dudes usually aren't either. at all.
i am NOT interested in someone who can't keep up with me physically, however. you don't necessarily need to run or longboard or whatev WITH me, but you have to be able to at least walk a mile without dying. so 'fat' guys r straight out. sry.
it's not really about what you look like. it's more about how i run/skate 1-3 mi/day, i'm always moving, never sit still, and i'm not going to slow down for someone who gets winded going up a flight of stairs. i don't think this is an inappropriate rubric.
if dudes have the same rubric re: dating women, i think that's fine. mostly, they're probably just shallow about it. i dunno. :huh:0 -
What is going to happen when you lose weight and aren't a "big" girl anymore, will your powers to "do it best" be diminished?
Yet, your post says "big girls do it best" implying that ALL big girls do it best.
Yaa, I have heard that one before..and was left totally disappoint"Big" girls do it best. It's truly their loss and they don't know what they're missing. I bet after an hour with me they'd "date" "big" girls
Any girl, big or small, can disappoint. Same goes with guys.
I wasn't implying anything, simply stating my opinion. And I didn't mean ALL"big" girls, I meant THIS "big" girl.0 -
And FWIW, since some people here are implying that there's some kind of double standard going on, I have been very happy with guys who were overweight; I was even engaged to one at one time. And he was handsome and I was crazy about him. Being overweight doesn't suddenly make you an unattractive person. Not that I'd know or anything.
I've also been with guys who were professional body builders, guys who were super lean, guys who had an average build... long hair, short hair, almost no hair... tall, short, and everything in between. I don't have a "type" when it comes to looks. I find that I am more interested in a guy for his personality, intelligence, sense of humor, etc.
Curiously enough, there have been several times in my life that a guy has told me, after months of being together, that he would not typically find himself attracted to a girl who was carrying extra weight... but that he was intensely attracted to me and found that my weight just wasn't an issue. One such man is now my husband.
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What is going to happen when you lose weight and aren't a "big" girl anymore, will your powers to "do it best" be diminished?
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This.0 -
What is going to happen when you lose weight and aren't a "big" girl anymore, will your powers to "do it best" be diminished?
Yet, your post says "big girls do it best" implying that ALL big girls do it best.
Yaa, I have heard that one before..and was left totally disappoint"Big" girls do it best. It's truly their loss and they don't know what they're missing. I bet after an hour with me they'd "date" "big" girls
Any girl, big or small, can disappoint. Same goes with guys.
I wasn't implying anything, simply stating my opinion. And I didn't mean ALL"big" girls, I meant THIS "big" girl.
Honestly, as someone who has been a "big girl" and really isn't so much anymore... sex is way easier than it used to be... and by that, I mean positions.0 -
It is totally fine to me if someone dosnt wanna date fat girls, even if they tell me! im not going to be bitter about it thats his preference. i used to say i didnt want to date fat guys for the reason being sex would be like each of us strapping a beach ball to our tummys and trying to make somthing work. now i have fallen in love with a large husky man with some belly and he proved me wrong! not saying "give us a chance" but my views and attractions have broadened to say the least. you like what you like. who am i to judge?0
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I am confident in my skills, no matter my size.0
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I think if you are basing any major part of your mate selection on something as fleeting as physical attraction you are already dooming yourself to an unhappy relationship. Physical attraction should be a nice to have not a deal breaker.
This makes me sad to see people think this way. Physical attraction doesn't have to be the biggest part of a mate selection, and compatibility on other levels is very important too, but if you're committing to be with that person (and no other person) for the long term, then physical attracttion is and will continue to be VERY important. I could care less about the age, weight or looks of the people I'm friends with, as long as I like spending time with them, but when it comes to the person I sleep with....its pretty imporant to actually be attracted to them...:ohwell:0 -
"Big" girls do it best. It's truly their loss and they don't know what they're missing. I bet after an hour with me they'd "date" "big" girlsalways one !!!!!
and you shot yourself in the foot already be them big or thin.....!
Obviously not everyone reading this thread isn't "big", so you are saying that because a gal is "big" they are better than one that is not. I am not big, never have been, but I sure the hell would never go around a thread on MFP saying anything like "thin girls" do X better. F that. The whole point of the original posters statement was that it was rude the way the man said it. Now you are going there.
I was just trying to lighten the mood, and speak up for my fellow "big" girls. And I personally don't even think him saying that he didn't like "big" girls was rude. But you might be considered a "big" girl in some man's eye, as everyone has a different definition of BIG.
Good grief, lady. She was making a joke. You know, like haha funny ha ha?
OP wasn't suggesting that personal preference in the sense of physical attraction is bad or mean, all the poor girl was saying is that his comment was crude and unnecessary. Note she said "who says that anymore"
She never said "ugh omg who doesn't date big girls that is so wrong!"
She was discussing that what he SAID was wrong, not his dislike of bigger women. I'm taken, but if a 'fat' man asked me out or came onto me, unfortunately I would likely decline because physically I don't like my men with a lot of extra weight. Would I say No, you're fat and disgusting and probably smell bad-in your dreams. No. I would not. THAT is what OP was talking about.
And the 'big' girl who's good in the sack has a good point. Some guys think a 130lb woman is fat, and some guys I'm sure think 250lbs isn't that big. Obese is medically defined as a certain number, but 'big' is personal opinion and not truly weight-related. You can be 115lbs but if all 115lbs is in your midsection, then you can be 'big' to some people.
Point is, have your preference-but you don't have to be a d*** about it nor call stereotypes like you're fat so you smell. If the content of this was someone saying I won't date you because you're black so you have dry, ashy skin and I like a woman with soft skin you all would fly off the handle and have a fit. "Not all black people have bad skin, wtf is wrong with you."
BUT, because it has to do with dating "fat people" and because all fat people are stinky, it's "oh everyone has preferences but they can't help it."
There are plenty of stinky, lazy thin people, and I bet the guy in OP's post would give them a chance before a well-bathed, beautiful-faced big girl-and that's unfortunate. In my opinion, if you truly deeply love someone- that IS attraction- and you would be more than happy to physically express that to them.0 -
I think if you are basing any major part of your mate selection on something as fleeting as physical attraction you are already dooming yourself to an unhappy relationship. Physical attraction should be a nice to have not a deal breaker.
This makes me sad to see people think this way. Physical attraction doesn't have to be the biggest part of a mate selection, and compatibility on other levels is very important too, but if you're committing to be with that person (and no other person) for the long term, then physical attracttion is and will continue to be VERY important. I could care less about the age, weight or looks of the people I'm friends with, as long as I like spending time with them, but when it comes to the person I sleep with....its pretty imporant to actually be attracted to them...:ohwell:
^ This. I'd prefer to be strongly attracted to my "mate" and I very much am. Oh well, life is hard for the husbands of hotties . . .0 -
Who really says that nowadays?
It really bothers me when some, and I repeat, some guys think 'big girls' are nasty, stinky, lazy, and whatever other degrading adjective comes to mind. Seriously, those kind of guys need to get over that thought because it makes them look like a cocky, dumb, *kitten*.
What are your feelings about that?
I understand preferences, but I hate generalizing people. Not all big girls are "gross" . really it probably only a small percentage of them who either gave up or just were raised that way. But it extends through all weight categories and races, so it irritates me to hear this like that.0 -
Um... I'm married now but I wouldn't date "skinny guys"... does that make me a crapbag or just a person with personal preferences? Mmmmm chubby guys.0
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Um... I'm married now but I wouldn't date "skinny guys"... does that make me a crapbag or just a person with personal preferences? Mmmmm chubby guys.
u mirin?0 -
Meat is for a man, bone is for the dog
Nuff said
now lets all go rock it :happy:
Ah, this one again. Cool. So it's not ok to fat shame, but totally ok to skinny shame? Got it.
Anyway, I don't date "big" guys, I just don't find big dudes (be that overweight or huge and muscley) attractive, so I guess I'm a douche, too.
IT'S NOT THAT YOU WON'T DATE A CERTAIN GROUP OR HAVE PREFERENCES, PEOPLE
This is about what was SAID and the stereotyping involved.
She didn't say 'he won't date girls that are big because they're big', he said he won't date big girls because they're stinky, nasty, lazy, and gross.
No one is telling anyone that they can't have their preferences!!
I don't understand why this forum and OP is so difficult to understand!0 -
People who date just for features in my opinion are looking at it from the sexual aspect. Ive never really been attracted to muscle bound and I suppose if I were out having sex for sport I would be but im not interested in the phystical as much their education morality and heart... with all that being said though I seem to be attracted to men with huge shoulders.0
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LOL0
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People who date just for features in my opinion are looking at it from the sexual aspect. Ive never really been attracted to muscle bound and I suppose if I were out having sex for sport I would be but im not interested in the phystical as much their education morality and heart... with all that being said though I seem to be attracted to men with huge shoulders.
HAHAHAHA HAHA lmao I'm friending you lol0 -
maybe it just boils down to you have to rule out some action and compromise too much and theres not much chance of this !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6iaTHpDMt4 0 -
I've always been attracted to tall, dark and handsome but the guy who I'm into has sandy blond hair and is my same height. The heart wants what the heart wants.0
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i have been skinny for like maybe 1-1.5 years of my life and thats when i had a bunch of guys who liked me. when i gained weight again, they all seemed to have disappeared. they were all my "friends" or so they said but i haven't seen them since i gained weight.
i have 2 guys right now who like me, and have liked me when i was skinny, and at my heaviest. you best believe when i lose my weight and get more comfortable with myself that i'll be taking either(or both) of those boys out on dates. they are the two who deserve me at my best.
as for boys who won't date fatter chicks. i was persuing this boy who seemed to really like me. we went on a few dates, had a few kisses. then we got a little tispy one night and he told me i need to lose weight. that i would be his "perfect dream girl" if i lost weight. i dumped him right then and there and he seemed like he was going to cry. i know once i lose my weight he'll come running back. but he will definitely NOT be getting any of THIS. :laugh:
be with people who you know will love you through whatever.0 -
Meat is for a man, bone is for the dog
Nuff said now lets all go rock it :happy:
Ah, this one again. Cool. So it's not ok to fat shame, but totally ok to skinny shame? Got it.
Anyway, I don't date "big" guys, I just don't find big dudes (be that overweight or huge and muscley) attractive, so I guess I'm a douche, too.
IT'S NOT THAT YOU WON'T DATE A CERTAIN GROUP OR HAVE PREFERENCES, PEOPLE
This is about what was SAID and the stereotyping involved.
She didn't say 'he won't date girls that are big because they're big', he said he won't date big girls because they're stinky, nasty, lazy, and gross.
No one is telling anyone that they can't have their preferences!!
I don't understand why this forum and OP is so difficult to understand!
Actually, the OP did not say that the dude called her those names. From the post, it appears that she is assuming that is why he will not date big girls. Now, with that being said, I do think that a simple "not interested" would have been sufficient and the big girl comment was rude and unnecessary.
However, that "meat is for the man" bulls**t is just plain offensive, as are these other phrases -
Real Women have curves
Real Women have muscles
fat b*%ch
skinny b*&ch
Big girls do it better
That girl could skip a meal
That girl needs to eat a cheese burger
Everyone of these phrases excludes one group while trying to make another group feel superior.0 -
No. Only men are jerks for basing their dating preferences on physical characteristics. Obviously.Um... I'm married now but I wouldn't date "skinny guys"... does that make me a crapbag or just a person with personal preferences? Mmmmm chubby guys.0 -
Meat is for a man, bone is for the dog
Nuff said now lets all go rock it :happy:
Ah, this one again. Cool. So it's not ok to fat shame, but totally ok to skinny shame? Got it.
Anyway, I don't date "big" guys, I just don't find big dudes (be that overweight or huge and muscley) attractive, so I guess I'm a douche, too.
IT'S NOT THAT YOU WON'T DATE A CERTAIN GROUP OR HAVE PREFERENCES, PEOPLE
This is about what was SAID and the stereotyping involved.
She didn't say 'he won't date girls that are big because they're big', he said he won't date big girls because they're stinky, nasty, lazy, and gross.
No one is telling anyone that they can't have their preferences!!
I don't understand why this forum and OP is so difficult to understand!
Actually, the OP did not say that the dude called her those names. From the post, it appears that she is assuming that is why he will not date big girls. Now, with that being said, I do think that a simple "not interested" would have been sufficient and the big girl comment was rude and unnecessary.
However, that "meat is for the man" bulls**t is just plain offensive, as are these other phrases -
Real Women have curves
Real Women have muscles
fat b*%ch
skinny b*&ch
Big girls do it better
That girl could skip a meal
That girl needs to eat a cheese burger
Everyone of these phrases excludes one group while trying to make another group feel superior.
I didn't say she said she got called these things, and you, me, and everybody else can make those sorts of assumptions til we're blue in the face. As for my assumption, I highly doubt she just pulled those reasons out of her butt.
She wouldn't have said them or gotten this heated about it if he didn't say, or at least imply, them.
Yes. Everything is offensive when you don't have a sense of humor or are overly sensitive. The only people I've ever heard referred to as "skinny b*tch" are skinny women getting called that by...themselves. Hell, skinny b*tch is more of a compliment than anything.
Weight is a major issue and obsession in our culture. Don't take comments about it seriously, if you're bothered by those sayings, cry me a river. Those sorts of sayings, especially for fat chicks (that girl needs to eat something, big girls do it better, etc), are made for empowerment. Fat people-correction: fat WOMEN- are the most looked-down-upon people in this society. They've taken phrases offensive to them and made them their own.
Take the ****e with a grain of salt and turn your cheek if you don't like it. It's really not a big deal.0 -
Meat is for the man, bone is for the dog is one thing and one thing only.
Funny. A play on words. At least appreciate it for what it's meant to be-A JOKE- if you still insist on being offended and butt hurt by it.0 -
If men dont want to date big girls that is fine, but they dont' have to say to a girl. The big girl comment is rude and unnecessary.
I am not no size 0 or a size 16 either. But if a men told me that I would be hurt and pissed at the same time. A Great personality makes you beautiful and makes you who you are..0 -
Meat is for the man, bone is for the dog is one thing and one thing only.
Funny. A play on words. At least appreciate it for what it's meant to be-A JOKE- if you still insist on being offended and butt hurt by it.
u jelly?0 -
I had a guy tell me once that he wouldn't date me because of my size but was happy to have sex. Was I hurt or upset? No. It's a reflection on him not me. He seemed genuinely shocked when I told him him I had plenty of offers that included both dating and sex.
That said everyone has a preference. It might be very limited such as leggy red heads or vast like a pulse but when all is said and done we have a preference. And if we choice to be a jerk in how we convey that then we might just have limited our dating pool including the ones we would date because they don't date jerks.
I have a preference and I don't see why I should feel I have to date anyone that doesn't fit it. I really don't need everyone to be attracted to me when it's all said and done. For men I could care less what they look like but I like them smart and tech savvy. For women I like them busty and soft around the edges add in smarts and tech and I'm a goner. If a guy only wants to date a women who into fitness why shouldn't he? He doesn't like big girls? That's fine someone else will.
And "Meat is for a man, bone is for the dog" is offensive to both women and men. It implies that a man who likes slender women isn't a man and is offensive to all women period.0 -
Meat is for the man, bone is for the dog is one thing and one thing only.
Funny. A play on words. At least appreciate it for what it's meant to be-A JOKE- if you still insist on being offended and butt hurt by it.
Tell us again exactly how that is funny......0
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