Online Cheating

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Replies

  • ellenasl210
    ellenasl210 Posts: 95 Member
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    WOW, just wow. Men and women can't be friends without sex coming into it? Maybe you can't have males friends without wanting to jump them, but not everyone is like that.

    haha, well said(:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    I log all my calories....

    oh wait...wrong cheating...
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    I have plenty of guys on my friend list. But if they get out of line, off they go. I wasn't so forceful about this before, but I am all business with it now.
    I like to joke around, who doesn't? But once I feel a line is being crossed, they get a warning and then it's over if it's crossed again.
  • TexasRattlesnake
    TexasRattlesnake Posts: 375 Member
    My motivation on MFP is to find support and support others on similar journeys.

    While there are many beautiful people on this site, the only cookie I want is in the jar at home.

    I don't have hangups if my fiancee has male friends and don't hesitate to have female friends... if that's who I get along with, then fine. If you have a reason to be suspicious and spying on your loved one, then you already have enough reason to not be in that relationship.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Sometimes it happens. You get comfortable and find support with someone. It's easy when you've been unhappy and sad for a long time. Most times...these relationships end.

    Othertimes...the person cheating is just a piece of *kitten* who will do it over and over again..online...in person. They just think they're God's gift. Some people's motivation to be on mfp has nothing to do with fitness.

    **** happens...but there are plenty of friendships I've developed on here with the opposite sex that absolutely have no issues. So it really is a person to person thing and everyone just has to do what is right for them. Frankly, I couldn't have all women on my FL....I'm too much like "one of the guys" in many ways lol
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
    men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    SO NOT TRUE. My roommate (and best guy friend) is a straight male, just as I am a straight female. He is like a brother to me! I have many guy friends and we are completely platonic. The whole myth of men and women not being able to be friends is just an excuse for being possessive and jealous IMO....If you can't trust your SO with someone of the opposite sex, why can't you just admit that there is another issue going on there?
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    It's only cheating if there is penetration...
  • mattack
    mattack Posts: 137 Member
    Sounds like bull**** to me... If your in a good committed 50/50 relationship there is no problem with having friends of the opposite sex on MFP....

    Its not cheating, most of the time the people you are talking to are states or even countries away. The ultimate goal of this site is FITNESS. If having supportive friends of the opposite sex is what helps you get there then GO FOR IT!

    A little flirtation never hurts anyone, and in fact can help make a relationship stronger. As long as it isnt strained to begin with.
  • GermanicKnight
    GermanicKnight Posts: 445
    I love to flirt and I love to dance. This doesn't mean I want to get in your pants!
    I may say your cute or looking hot, but my commitment to my spouse is what I've got!
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
    It's only cheating if there is penetration...

    Kissing isnt cheating? Or touching? Rubbing? Licking? Squeezing?
  • sskk2000
    sskk2000 Posts: 6
    thanks for sharing. Very interesting what Dr. Drew stated.
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
    I have a few opposite sex friend on MFP. Honestly, I've had no negative takes on it. They don't hit on me, they are just as motivating as females. I'm happily taken, very commited relationship with potentially more in it, so I'm not here for a "dating" site. However, I have seen A LOT of that on the forums. I think it'd be nice if people didn't go on the forums trying to meet people for dating, because I think it's nicer to be able to feel like you can post something and get honest answers.

    I'm only here to lose weight, meet new people to motivate each other, make friends, and that's it. If I did accept a guy and it seems he had different motives I'd just remove him. It's not a big deal. If you have to have self control to resist a piece of cake, you should have it to resist being unfaithful to the one you love at home.
  • katheern
    katheern Posts: 213 Member
    Having friends of the opposite sex is fine (I've lots of them). i would never cheat. If I wanted to I would leave my partner beforehand. I have however removed people from my FL who got overly flirtatious in the past. I think its the Pirate brings out the worst in people ;)

    Really depends on you. If you know you can resist temptation / are not interested and you know your SO is not the insanely jealous type then its all good.

    This. I work in a very male dominated industry so it is very silly not to make friends with them. Most of my friends are male. There are some men who are pigs and are way too flirty with me but I put a stop to it immediately and tell them very firmly no. I also know many men who are awesome and are very respectful.

    Plus being friends with people of the opposite sex does NOT mean you are going to cheat. I don't think it's a respect thing. It's up to the person to not cheat and avoiding the opposite sex doesn't really stop that. If being friends with the opposite sex compels people to want to cheat, then they have other issues. Same goes with the other direction. If you think your SO is going to cheat on you because they have a lot of friends of the opposite sex then you have some self esteem issues of your own.
  • ruudi1955
    ruudi1955 Posts: 6 Member
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    I totally get your point, 100%, but then have to disagree to the same extent lol! A lot of people come on here as they need a forum to motivate them, its certainly why I am here, and its a motivation that many of us cannot get elsewhere. Sure there may be some people who use the site in the wrong way, but they are going to be in the minority. It is crazy to say that men and women cannot be friends. You must so be mixing with the wrong guys lol!
  • ruudi1955
    ruudi1955 Posts: 6 Member
    Plus being friends with people of the opposite sex does NOT mean you are going to cheat. I don't think it's a respect thing. It's up to the person to not cheat and avoiding the opposite sex doesn't really stop that. If being friends with the opposite sex compels people to want to cheat, then they have other issues.
    [/quote]

    500 cheers to that!! :o)
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
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  • katheern
    katheern Posts: 213 Member
    Plus being friends with people of the opposite sex does NOT mean you are going to cheat. I don't think it's a respect thing. It's up to the person to not cheat and avoiding the opposite sex doesn't really stop that. If being friends with the opposite sex compels people to want to cheat, then they have other issues.

    500 cheers to that!! :o)

    There is seriously a huge lack of trust between a lot of couples that I don't understand. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. How can you be with someone if you can't trust them? It makes no sense to me.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    It's only cheating if there is penetration...

    Kissing isnt cheating? Or touching? Rubbing? Licking? Squeezing?

    Sarcasm.
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
    It's only cheating if there is penetration...

    Kissing isnt cheating? Or touching? Rubbing? Licking? Squeezing?

    Sarcasm.



    Haha :flowerforyou:
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    I'm happily married to the most gorgeous man on earth but I partake in a bit of harmless flirting with both my male and female friends here. Its silly and fun. But it means nothing!

    This! My husband is also aware of everything I do online and is perfectly fine with it. We have an agreement and it works for us. Could he do it? No way. I am far too jealous. LOL! As for those who do it behind their partner's back? I don't necessarily agree with it, but that is their choice and it really doesn't concern me. They must have their reasons to feel the need to flirt online. Me...I just do it because it's damn fun and my husband doesn't mind :happy:
  • kapzilla
    kapzilla Posts: 84 Member
    I'm usually not against my husband being friendly with other women, but apparently there are some women in this community that are willing to talk to a married man very inappropriately. Some may see it as harmless, but being through the crap twice, it is NOT harmless. Internet "cheating" will eventually hurt someone.

    My husband has been a complete idiot about this twice now. I thank the stars that it wasn't physical either time and that it was only over the internet, but I'm still very hurt emotionally. I recently told my husband to take off every female (except for those I know personally) from his friends list here, and I'll be honest and say that I don't trust my husband right now. I do not appreciate my marriage being in a tough situation because of this.

    It sucks, but d*mn that nice to get off my chest.
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
    "You're online, whats the worst that can happen? Sprain a wrist?" - My wife
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    I'm usually not against my husband being friendly with other women, but apparently there are some women in this community that are willing to talk to a married man very inappropriately. Some may see it as harmless, but being through the crap twice, it is NOT harmless. Internet "cheating" will eventually hurt someone.

    My husband has been a complete idiot about this twice now. I thank the stars that it wasn't physical either time and that it was only over the internet, but I'm still very hurt emotionally. I recently told my husband to take off every female (except for those I know personally) from his friends list here, and I'll be honest and say that I don't trust my husband right now. I do not appreciate my marriage being in a tough situation because of this.

    It sucks, but d*mn that nice to get off my chest.

    I understand completely. It's about trust. Thinking about doing something is as bad as doing it. It's not fair to you. However sometimes I think what is written can be taken in different ways. I was accused of flirting with someone completely unjustly, and I can say this because I really couldn't stand the man, so the last thing I would do is flirt. He took my comments (some how) as a come on! I still don't know why!
  • kapzilla
    kapzilla Posts: 84 Member
    I'm usually not against my husband being friendly with other women, but apparently there are some women in this community that are willing to talk to a married man very inappropriately. Some may see it as harmless, but being through the crap twice, it is NOT harmless. Internet "cheating" will eventually hurt someone.

    My husband has been a complete idiot about this twice now. I thank the stars that it wasn't physical either time and that it was only over the internet, but I'm still very hurt emotionally. I recently told my husband to take off every female (except for those I know personally) from his friends list here, and I'll be honest and say that I don't trust my husband right now. I do not appreciate my marriage being in a tough situation because of this.

    It sucks, but d*mn that nice to get off my chest.

    I understand completely. It's about trust. Thinking about doing something is as bad as doing it. It's not fair to you. However sometimes I think what is written can be taken in different ways. I was accused of flirting with someone completely unjustly, and I can say this because I really couldn't stand the man, so the last thing I would do is flirt. He took my comments (some how) as a come on! I still don't know why!

    I wish I could say that it was a misunderstanding in my case. Reading my husband complain about our sex life, how it's "really that bad" and stuff like that, yeah.. it was obvious what I was reading. The kicker was one simple sentence that he said that made me lose complete trust in him, and I'll leave that out. He'll probably read this later and feel bad again.

    Thankfully we're going to work on it, and we're gonna give it a new, fresh start. We're also looking into marriage counseling. I just hope he never does it again. But it really grinds my gears when people think it's harmless and not a big deal.

    I can see how something taken the wrong way could lead to assumptions, and it sucks that it happened that way to you.
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    I'm usually not against my husband being friendly with other women, but apparently there are some women in this community that are willing to talk to a married man very inappropriately. Some may see it as harmless, but being through the crap twice, it is NOT harmless. Internet "cheating" will eventually hurt someone.

    My husband has been a complete idiot about this twice now. I thank the stars that it wasn't physical either time and that it was only over the internet, but I'm still very hurt emotionally. I recently told my husband to take off every female (except for those I know personally) from his friends list here, and I'll be honest and say that I don't trust my husband right now. I do not appreciate my marriage being in a tough situation because of this.

    It sucks, but d*mn that nice to get off my chest.

    I understand completely. It's about trust. Thinking about doing something is as bad as doing it. It's not fair to you. However sometimes I think what is written can be taken in different ways. I was accused of flirting with someone completely unjustly, and I can say this because I really couldn't stand the man, so the last thing I would do is flirt. He took my comments (some how) as a come on! I still don't know why!

    I wish I could say that it was a misunderstanding in my case. Reading my husband complain about our sex life, how it's "really that bad" and stuff like that, yeah.. it was obvious what I was reading. The kicker was one simple sentence that he said that made me lose complete trust in him, and I'll leave that out. He'll probably read this later and feel bad again.

    Thankfully we're going to work on it, and we're gonna give it a new, fresh start. We're also looking into marriage counseling. I just hope he never does it again. But it really grinds my gears when people think it's harmless and not a big deal.

    I can see how something taken the wrong way could lead to assumptions, and it sucks that it happened that way to you.

    I am really glad you are having counselling! And I wish you all the best and hope he can really see what an *kitten* he has been. Thinking of you.
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    I hope this has made some people realise what impact a bit of 'harmless flirting' can have on families.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I hope this has made some people realise what impact a bit of 'harmless flirting' can have on families.

    Amen! The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Hey ladies...wanna do "it"?
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    Hearing all the stories about people cheating on their spouses, what is your take on having friends of the opposite sex at MyFitnessPal?

    I have 4 rules

    Interactions should be mostly about fitness/motivation
    Don't say something I'd be ashamed of repeating to my wife.
    I do not compliment female appearance, only food intake and exercise.
    No female friends with photos of themselves in something less than what they would wear to the gym.
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    Hey ladies...wanna do "it"?

    Define 'it'

    See how easy it is?!
    Point made.

    Grow up, people.

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