Women - Farting, Pooping, and more in front of men...

I wonder how your man is going to take it if you decide to have kids. When you are laying on the delivery table spread eagle and **** is coming out because you are pushing so hard, I'm sure he will be surprised... :noway:

I must inform one of my female dogs that she is not being ladylike now but farting near me and then leaving the area and making my partner think it is me!

Now I must go to the bathroom and smack myself for even reading/posting on this topic! LOL

Eventually there will come a time when it just happens. The best thing to do is that you both laugh hysterically and then go back to normal. Seriously. Everybody farts. As for pooping, you don't HAVE to announce that you're going to drop the whale into the ocean! Just say you're going to the bathroom! ::facepalm::

^^THIS. You're going to fart, you have to poop, and you can STILL be a lady while doing all those things in front of your guy! If you fart, just say excuse me. Chances are he'll laugh because guys for some reason find it funny. My BEST relationship (the one I'm in now and living with) started with me thinking I shouldn't fart. But we got comfortable with each other, one slipped, and we just joked about it. Since then, if it happens it happens, no big deal is made unless we're joking around with each other. As for the poop, Kitty is right, you don't HAVE to be like "I'm taking a dump!" just flust, make sure the bowl is clean, spray, and wash your hands. It's no ones business what you do in the bathroom.

If you can't do these things in front of a man I really wonder how fun and exciting your sex life could be =(
I must be a pretty nasty lady if you consider taking a *kitten* taboo! DAmn

Um...what? What does sex have to do with *kitten*? O_O

Hey, what's all this talk about farting?



Girls fart you say?

Ah, of course they don't. Only skeevy stoners fart.

win. a marriage that shares d!ck and fart jokes will last.

My inner feminist is bristling at this whole "ladylike" bullsh!t. You know what makes me a lady? The tw@t between my legs. The fact that I am smart, strong and driven. The fact that I have the ability to give life with my body. That I can bring a man to his knees at the bat of an eyelash, proudly call myself a doctor (PhD in engineering) and a belly dancer, and plan to take over the godd@mned world all at the same time. THAT makes me a lady.

It's got nothing to do with whether I emit gas from my body or not. But have fun buying into all that patriarchal nonsense if it makes you happy.

Hear, hear!

Being a "lady" really is the opposite of what I want to be in life. I don't want to spend my life standing still and being pretty.
I want my man to love me with all my flaws, with all the little disgusting things that I do, to still hug and kiss me after my sweaty workout. For me, this is an honest relationship. This is how it works.

I'm not saying that I ask him to come and see my poop after I dropped a log, to smell the exquisite aroma of my farts or to take a look at the impressive amount of green mucus I just expelled from my nose. I am saying that I will not stop myself from being human or looking like one because that is not ladylike.

"Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women." ~Nora Ephron

Wtf? Us women don't fart or poop.

STOP SPREADING THESE LIES!

exactly!



however, if we did, i would imagine it would look like this:



too much?

^LMFAO!! :drinker:

I've been with the same wonderful man for about 4 years now, about three years ago I had excused myself to go to the bathroom, after about 30 seconds my man barged in proclaiming loudly, "Really!? We haven't gotten to the pooping with the door open stage yet?!" and stood their and watched the remained of the process. Since then we've also reached the borrowing eachother tooth brush, and the oh so charming, popping each others back pimples stage. He's my best friend first, lover second, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We have a wonderful, realistic romance.

Ummm. No. Lol... I love that you shared this... but no way in hell I'm popping pimples or sharing toothbrushes ... Thats just gross... bring on an *kitten* goblin ANY day.. over that stuff. LOL... But, I love your honesty

Hey, if you need a tooth brush you need a tooth brush - and really if you spend four years kissing I'm sure the mouths have been together enough that it makes no difference. Spit swapping isn't anything new right?
And really, if you can't ask your life partner to pop your pimples who can you ask?

In my opinion you ask NO ONE to pop your pimples. :ohwell: I guess that is just me! Yes we swap spit, tongues, and various other bodily fluids :blushing: ... but never tarter build up or morning breath! lol We did share a toothbrush once.... we just moved, and could only find ONE... But its not something I would like to repeat. I'd rather fart once or twice, giggle and call it a day. LOL

well if he can't reach into arbitrary places on his back, and he asks, I'm happy to oblige

We only ever have one toothbrush out at a time. And seriously, what good is a spouse that can't get those painful, hard to reach pimples?

I agree with OP. I've been with my husband almost seven years and some things a woman should just keep private.

I agree to an extent as well, I just can't get over how many people can crap in-front of each other. I also don't think its just about things a woman should keep private but a person should keep private. I don't want to ever see my husband crapping and he don't want to see me do that either. Some other functions it happens, can't always control those completely but don't need to go around doing that on purpose in-front of each other. I showed this thread to my husband and he is in shock as well LOL.

Why is this a gender issue? "There are some things women should keep private, a lady is a lady, some women should get some class ..."

I'm not the biggest fan of free flying farts, but this has nothing to do with gender. And outside of my relationship, it's also not my problem what other couples do. (Unless, of course, you are the infamous K-Mart Farter and you're in my aisle.)

I hope the relationship you are in lasts--it sounds like a good one. I also hope that the day you guys have a slip, you find out you are comfortable enough with each other to overcome the gas you pass. :flowerforyou:

Back when I was a tough, feminist, punk rocker who would beat up all the boy punk rockers (although in retrospect, i think most of them liked it), I had a boy tell me that he didn't think the female of the species pooped. And I got on my soap box and told him he was a chauvinist who was trying to take away my humanity by minimalizing my very human bodily functions, etc, etc... Of course that teenage boy had his own hang ups, like he would only poop at home and then would have to take a shower after.

As an adult woman, and as a human, I will say: I do fart. I also poop, and I have body odor. I also get sick, vomit, and sweat. I sometimes announce these things conversationally as an aspect of my general well being. I sometimes exercise more discretion. If I'm at the dinner table, I will get up and go to the restroom to fart, especially if we're in public. If it's just me and my husband at home, I will likely leave the bathroom door open. I take responsibility for my actions if he asks "who dealt it". I never blame the dogs unless it was actually them.

I guess I'm not a lady then. On the first night my SO and I spent together, I said the following "There's something you need to know about me and I'm not going to change. I fart. A lot. And I'm not holding it in around you. So you can stay, or you can go, but I'll be farting either way."

I don't fart ON him. He doesn't fart on me. We fart in each other's presence. And congratulate each other on a good one...

ROTFLMAO! I think I love you! :laugh:

We only ever have one toothbrush out at a time. And seriously, what good is a spouse that can't get those painful, hard to reach pimples?

Ummm. Do you have a tattoo on your armpit???

Yes, yes I do. It's an apple.

Interesting. Never saw an armpit tat before.

I guess I'm not a lady then. On the first night my SO and I spent together, I said the following "There's something you need to know about me and I'm not going to change. I fart. A lot. And I'm not holding it in around you. So you can stay, or you can go, but I'll be farting either way."

I don't fart ON him. He doesn't fart on me. We fart in each other's presence. And congratulate each other on a good one...

ROTFLMAO! I think I love you! :laugh:

LMAO...... I am over here crying.