Why do people not allow the "under 1200" friend requests
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People who eat LESS than 1200 are trying to kill themselves!!! Its simple! I don't accept ppl with ED for that reason!!
Wrong answer...people eating less than 1200 are doing what's right for them not what's right for you. AND FYI I don't have an ED now and I will never have an ED. My lifestyle change my way, for me. Not you or anyone else. I don't encourage anyone else to eat the way I eat, but I also don't ask your approval to eat the way I eat. I don't need it I'm grown and pretty sure I know what I'm doing.0 -
People who eat LESS than 1200 are trying to kill themselves!!! Its simple! I don't accept ppl with ED for that reason!!
Yes of course lets isolate these undesirables and let them kill themselves off so that we dont have to be troubled by there sily problems...god forbid we Love our neighbor in need...and it is far to old fashioned to lend an encouraging word. Please go ahead and jump, we will turn our heads and simply say "I told you so". Not tying to be harsh, but this kind of thinking makes me feel sorry for us as humans....0 -
lifestyle change? 1200 calories?People who eat LESS than 1200 are trying to kill themselves!!! Its simple! I don't accept ppl with ED for that reason!!
Wrong answer...people eating less than 1200 are doing what's right for them not what's right for you. AND FYI I don't have an ED now and I will never have an ED. My lifestyle change my way, for me. Not you or anyone else. I don't encourage anyone else to eat the way I eat, but I also don't ask your approval to eat the way I eat. I don't need it I'm grown and pretty sure I know what I'm doing.
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If you are obese, you cannot go into starvation mode (under 1200=starvation mode) its complete nonsense.
Jesse Short
ISSA Certified Personal Trainer
Maybe if it's said 1,000 times the people who need to hear this will. Actually, I think it's been said 5,000 times on this site already.0 -
Many would be here to recruit others to eat less.
Why would you think that? In 'real life' and on other sites, I have a few friends with eating disorders, and friends who eat less than they should, but none of them try to recruit others to do the same. I've never come across that at all. Generally it's a personal control thing, not a social/recruitment thing. The only people I come across who try to persuade people to do the same as what they do is people who eat a lot.
Agreed0 -
People who eat LESS than 1200 are trying to kill themselves!!! Its simple! I don't accept ppl with ED for that reason!!
Rubbish
Sorry, but you are talking nonsense.
I am on 1200 as set by mfp.
I have been stuck on plateaux for months.
I tried upping for a month and put on 4lb.
went to 1100 and lost some.
Went on holiday and put on over half a stone so I am now back on 1100 and hope to lose the necessary over a few weeks so I can get to maintain.
I do NOT have any disorders, am very healthy and do not like people making generalisations about something of they know nothing.
Sorry, rant over, and friend whoever you like...just don't ***** about others.
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Out of curiosity - and this is a serious question - how do those of you who won't friend 'under 1200 calories' people know how many calories people eat before you friend them? A lot of people have friends-only diaries. Do you ask the person? Or do you simply not friend anyone who doesn't have a public diary?
I'm asking for practical reasons. My food diary is friends only. Would it be helpful if I put a disclaimer on my profile? Something along the lines of: 'By the way, I sometimes deliberately eat less than 1200 calories, because I like to sometimes have a couple of fasting days. I've been doing this for 18 years, on and off, and it always has tremendous positive effects on my health and wellbeing, and I've also read a great deal about it - so if you try to persuade me not to do it, however much I respect you, realistically I'm not going to obey you. On the plus side, I don't try to persuade anyone to convert to my personal eating habits - but if you feel you might be led astray by having access to my diary, better not friend me.''
(I know that comes across as a bit facetious - it's not intended, but honestly I'm finding this whole thing so ludicrous it's hard to know how else to word it! Basically, what I want to know is this: is this really seen as such a serious problem that those of us who don't fall into people's friending stipulations need to announce it on our profiles so that people are pre-warned?)
Why do I feel like I'm feeding a troll? I was being a troll in the first place, and suddenly I feel the need to explain myself. But only because you said it was a serious question...
In my experience, both on the forums and from previous people on my friends list, I do not agree much with the dieting, eating, and exercise methods of people who eat 1200 calorie diets. It's not a "serious problem", it's a preference. Like in real life, I have "stipulations" in order to keep someone in my circle of friends. Like in real life, I can't tell if I'm going to mesh with someone right away, but quite often first impressions mean A LOT. And like in real life, I can learn that there are always exceptions to the rule.
Personally, I accept the person first, then I read their diary. If they show 1200 consistently, then I will usually send them a message asking them why they only eat 1200. This opens a conversation. I have some friends on my list who DO eat 1200 calories on purpose. They know how I feel about their choices, I know how they feel about mine, we respect each other. What's funny is that I often get messages from them about advice re: upping calories and I forward them to certain links on the forums, certain people who have given me great advice, and links to other site on the internet. They usually think 1200 is the way to go because that's what MFP told them to do. I don't push the Eat More to Weigh Less diet on people. Especially because I'm not the poster child. I know what I do wrong and right in my diet.
On the other hand, I have received friend requests from 1200 calorie eaters who have NOT been receptive to me asking them about their habits. I've had my head bitten off for even mentioning it. That's why I leave my warning on my profile. If someone can't take a minute to read my profile, then they have no place "collecting" me on their friends list in the first place. Maybe that's the caveat to your question. No, you don't need to tell me your eating habits in your profile. It's your business. But I've told you about my preferences. Take it or leave it.
Hope that answers your question. Please don't yell at me for voicing my preferences.0 -
The secret to what we are all trying to do here is to find an appropriate balance between the amount of calories we are burning through exercise compared with the amount of calories we are consuming. If we want to lose weight, we must eat less than we burn. Other people have pointed out that height and weight is also a factor.
I am eating an incredibly healthy diet, balanced with all the food groups with no extra sugars or extra carbs. I eat whole grains and add in the good fats ie. nuts, olives, avocado, etc. I have huge plates full of colorful, beautiful food and I eat right around 1200 calories a day.
I work out for 30 minutes daily.
I can see nothing wrong with my portions or my plan.0 -
4 lbs? I can gain that in a day and I would definitely gain that much if I was only eating 1100 in the first place. That's how your body works. You should read the science behind it before you do it so you know what to expect. Usually people go to 'maintain' for about 6 weeks before doing a cut. For a person coming off a lcd they usually gain a few pounds in water weight but it drops off with then some after they do a cut after the 6 weeks. You don't have to do it for 6 weeks though, just till your weight levels out. If it doesn't I'd see a doctor about metabolic problems such as thyroid etc because that's definitely out of the norm if you are weighing your food and doing things accurately.People who eat LESS than 1200 are trying to kill themselves!!! Its simple! I don't accept ppl with ED for that reason!!
Rubbish
Sorry, but you are talking nonsense.
I am on 1200 as set by mfp.
I have been stuck on plateaux for months.
I tried upping for a month and put on 4lb.
went to 1100 and lost some.
Went on holiday and put on over half a stone so I am now back on 1100 and hope to lose the necessary over a few weeks so I can get to maintain.
I do NOT have any disorders, am very healthy and do not like people making generalisations about something of they know nothing.
Sorry, rant over, and friend whoever you like...just don't ***** about others.0 -
Some people don't eat under 1200 on purpose.
And what me? My bmr is 1250 and I need to have at least a 100 calorie deficit to lose! 0 -
If you sat in a chair all day and didn't get your own groceries and what not and did not exercise at all that would leave you fairly unhealthy but you could also still eat at a estimated 1500-100=1400 calories and lose if that quote has the right info.Some people don't eat under 1200 on purpose. And what me? My bmr is 1250 and I need to have at least a 100 calorie deficit to lose!
My bmr is 1303 and that leaves me netting about 1700 (which can get well above the 2xxxx mark with exercise...long hikes usually leaves me with 3xxx)0 -
Wow I can't believe this really. I'm only 5''00 and certainly don't need more than 1200 calories a day to survive, since I work from home, and make healthy choices. At the moment my target daily intake is 1000 but sometimes it's closer to 850-950, just because I really don't need the extra food, snack only when I'm hungry and eat 3 meals a day. I'm also doing the 30 day shred. I am at the ideal weight for my height at 110-112 pounds.
I think it's a little silly to not take into consideration someone's height and lifestyle tbh. If I was a 6ft man that worked as a personal trainer I could see the problem, but the fact that some would discriminate me on being healthy is just ludicrous.
Maybe I should just go back to eating 1800 calories a day and getting overweight just so I can have friends on here?! LOL.
xx
I looked at a few diaries of all the "I don't want anything to with 1200 calorie eaters"
The main difference I see is they eat muffins, rolls and other bread products I can't eat. Quite of few them have a lot of calories from alcohol too. Guess if we started having a few beers or some wine every day we could catch up and be considered healthy. lol.
No wonder they are so hateful, must be drunk when they post.
I'm off to peel some carrots and cut up some broccoli so I can continue eating my bad food choices of vegetables. Hope I don't have a heart attack and die from the wild rice I'll eat later. Who knows, the 3 fruit servings I had probably did me in and I'll be dead by noon. Oh wait, I'll just run to the store and grab a 6 pack of beer, that should fix everything.
Seriously, I'll just hit ignore on a few people and go about my daily routine of eating when I am hungry and leave the policing of food to others.
HAHAHAHAHA :laugh:0 -
This topic has been eye opening.
I'm now an alternate day faster. I have been having general health checks. In the last month as I've trained my body to fast like this I've seen my doctor 4 times. My blood pressure has vastly improved, I'm sleeping better (more non REM vs REM sleep) I'm less stressed, I have more mental clarity and am more alert. My skin and hair have also improved.
Now I've only been ADF for the last week and I started this because I am MO and have a BMI approaching 50. I didn't drop my body straight into it as both me and my doctor thought it would be too much of a shock.
I did a lot of research prior to even broaching the subject at an appointment.
On non fasting days I'll eat between 1400-2000 calories, exercise dependent. On fast days I won't exercise. If my body gets to a point where I can feel it really does need food during those 24 hours I do listen and break my fast by having something around 50 calories. This has happened twice since achieving 24 hour fasts.
Now to give you some perspective. I started this with a weight of 280lbs. Today I hit 266lbs. My goal is 140lbs but my ideal is 115-120. Which will give me a healthy BMI. My BMR is 1410.
Once I hit my healthy weight I will go to 1 or 2 fast days a week, whichever keeps my weight stable and allows my sleep and general well being to stay as it is now.
Just because someone does a different diet to you does not mean they have an ED or that they are unhealthy. In fact it could be e opposite. I'm realistic in what I want and if my doctor ever said to me that this was negatively effecting my body I would stop but he hasn't.0 -
Why do I feel like I'm feeding a troll? I was being a troll in the first place, and suddenly I feel the need to explain myself. But only because you said it was a serious question...
In my experience, both on the forums and from previous people on my friends list, I do not agree much with the dieting, eating, and exercise methods of people who eat 1200 calorie diets. It's not a "serious problem", it's a preference. Like in real life, I have "stipulations" in order to keep someone in my circle of friends. Like in real life, I can't tell if I'm going to mesh with someone right away, but quite often first impressions mean A LOT. And like in real life, I can learn that there are always exceptions to the rule.
Personally, I accept the person first, then I read their diary. If they show 1200 consistently, then I will usually send them a message asking them why they only eat 1200. This opens a conversation. I have some friends on my list who DO eat 1200 calories on purpose. They know how I feel about their choices, I know how they feel about mine, we respect each other. What's funny is that I often get messages from them about advice re: upping calories and I forward them to certain links on the forums, certain people who have given me great advice, and links to other site on the internet. They usually think 1200 is the way to go because that's what MFP told them to do. I don't push the Eat More to Weigh Less diet on people. Especially because I'm not the poster child. I know what I do wrong and right in my diet.
On the other hand, I have received friend requests from 1200 calorie eaters who have NOT been receptive to me asking them about their habits. I've had my head bitten off for even mentioning it. That's why I leave my warning on my profile. If someone can't take a minute to read my profile, then they have no place "collecting" me on their friends list in the first place. Maybe that's the caveat to your question. No, you don't need to tell me your eating habits in your profile. It's your business. But I've told you about my preferences. Take it or leave it.
Hope that answers your question. Please don't yell at me for voicing my preferences.
Ah, okay. That is an approach that makes sense, and I'd be happy to answer questions about my calorie intake if any of my friends asked. I'm always happy to answer questions. I just get confused and frustrated when people make assumptions without asking.
I don't know why you'd think I would yell at you - I haven't yelled at anyone here, and I'm really not the yelling type.
I understand why you think I'm a troll though - I'm not, but people do sometimes think that about me in forums when I they don't know me, because I ask questions that might seem obvious to others, or seem like I've got an underlying motive. I'm actually on the autism spectrum. I need to ask specific questions and get specific answers to understand some things. My questions are always completely straight - I can't do double meanings.
I genuinely find it completely baffling that people would make a sweeping assumption about everyone who eats a certain number of calories, given how very different everyone is, and the very different needs, bodies and lifestyles people have. And a bit hurtful, to be honest - not that people wouldn't want to friend me (I wouldn't want to be friends with such people) but that they would make such assumptions about me and others without questioning, and not only that, but they would also spread these assumptions publicly as though they were undisputed facts. I don't like the fact that this sort of thing happens in general, to any group of people - I've experienced the harmful and alienating effects it can have.
Anyway, realising that I fall into this particular category of people about whom these particular sweeping assumptions are made, and never having been in this exact situation before, it is helpful for me to know how to proceed. I would feel a bit taken aback if I friended people and they started getting all up in arms about my calorie intake, and accused me of being a bad influence or something. So yes, it really would be useful to know if people want a disclaimer on my profile. It probably would be a bit of a facetious disclaimer, because there is part of me that simply can't take such a sweeping assumption seriously - I can't imagine what ludicrous leaps of logic people took to make it. And a completely serious disclaimer would be implying a respect for such an assumption, which I don't have. I think it's an ignorant and idiotic assumption.
Well, I realise that spelling out my thought processes like this may make me look a bit odd. My mind simply works differently from most, and I generally keep such thought processes to myself, do a lot of private analysis, and say the kind of things that others say. But I thought maybe in this situation it might be helpful to explain where I'm coming from.0 -
lifestyle change? 1200 calories?People who eat LESS than 1200 are trying to kill themselves!!! Its simple! I don't accept ppl with ED for that reason!!
Wrong answer...people eating less than 1200 are doing what's right for them not what's right for you. AND FYI I don't have an ED now and I will never have an ED. My lifestyle change my way, for me. Not you or anyone else. I don't encourage anyone else to eat the way I eat, but I also don't ask your approval to eat the way I eat. I don't need it I'm grown and pretty sure I know what I'm doing.
If that's delusional I suggest getting an imagination. Many people can't eat 1200 and lose weight because they're short and relatively inactive, or have had weight-loss surgery, or some other issue.
There are people who practice Calorie Restriction, not to lose weight, but because they think it will aid longevity. They eat 400 to 500 calories a day. Not a routine I could follow, but they're not delusional.
You need to get out more.0 -
Idk, there are some days when I fill up on "light" stuff, or fruit, and fall short of 1,200 by like...100 calories or so. It happens. I would hope that nobody would look down on me for that?
I go over on most days, anyway.0 -
* Edited to add that I don't think 1200 calorie eaters are ALL of the above. They probably have one of the bullets tho. And before you start hating because you are a 1200 calorie eater, read again and see if you adopt at least one of the bullets. If you do, your argument TO ME is invalid.
Nope, none of those. And .32 tablespoons is just about 1 tsp. I log that amount (.33) and have hit 1200 on the button, though I'm also sometimes under or over, no big. If I can make 1 tsp meet my needs for 30 calories instead of 90, I will. I do plan my calories in advance, so that's why it's easy to make 1200. I'm just short and not overweight and not terribly active. So I need less than someone who is short and active or short and overweight.
Same here. I am 4'11" with a medium body frame. 1200 claories is what my DOCTOR put me on. I do my best to hit the 1200 calories a day. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Either way, I am feeling better everyday and have more energy than I've had in years.
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MFP set my caloric goal at 1200 when I put my weight in today. I think that is very low!0
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I used to accept all friend requests, but recently I feel my newsfeed has become overrun with stressed-out under-eaters. For me, 1200 is not an issue, but day after day at 600kcal or less suggests someone is likely to be more effort than I can spare. I used to just nag them until they deleted me, but as I loathe passive aggressive behaviour in real life, I wanted to stop that.
I started by ignoring requests from anyone with a name that suggested a low goal weight or unhealthy attitude to weight (eg SkinnyOrDie, anything with 'bones' in, or a possible low weight, such as 95). Such mfp members tended to be under-eating and surrounded by people who encouraged them to keep within their ridiculous goals, and constantly starting the ABC (Ana Boot Camp) diet or similar, and then wondering why they binged. I have some lovely mfp friends who struggle with similar issues, but they realise they are issues and do not try to get other people to affirm that what they are doing is ok. When a couple slipped through the net, before we had become too close, I sent them messages saying that I couldn't support them in their eating choices and hoped they would come to their senses soon. Now I check diaries before accepting friend requests, if public, and ignore if they have consistently really low numbers (400-800). Yesterday a diary wasn't public, so I friended, took a peek at their diary and their news feed, realised my mistake and deleted them immediately.
I have a number of dear, dear mfp friends who eat less than 1200kcal, but they know what they are doing and why. If someone has monitored calories for years and only ever lost at sub 1200, who am I to tell them they're wrong? The ones that worry me are the younger ones who should be building their bones and bodies for later life, but are intentionally wasting away instead.
I ate 1200kcal for a while, which I suspect triggered my anaemia. Now I know 1200 is less than half my TDEE, but no calculator would ever predict that. I tell people about my situation and inform them of dangers I see them potentially facing. I love people, and while my love is infinite, my time isn't, so I am happy to support those already dear to me, but cannot possibly stay engaged with too many ppl I feel like 'rescuing' at once.
So, I don't have a warning on my profile, but of I did it would be a far lower number I would use as my limit.0 -
Well I'm one of those people! I had gastric sleeve surgery in March.... I CANNOT eat much more than 1100-1200 calories a day (yet) and in the losing phase, I'm only doing 700-900 calories a day.
I would never advocate being unhealthy to your body, but considering at my largest I was doing 5 miles a day and would gain weight by the smell of a pie, I had to do something to be healthier. I took a long time to consider my options and with my family history, I made what I hoped to be the best decision for me.
I would never encourage someone to be anorexic or bulimic and if having me as their friend would do that, then heck no, I don't want you.
But don't automatically think that's who all of "those" people are out there, the ones under 1200 calories a day. There are several of 'us' sleevers that have to eat smaller portions due to cutting 80% of our tummies out so that we can live longer and become healthy.
Am I proud of doing it? No, honestly I'm not. I wish I had had the strength to keep this off from sheer will power. But thyroid and age are against me. Then I have a family history of heart disease that KILLS women early on (I'm 38) and then there is cancer now as well. I made the choice that I hope is best for me to do just what my name suggests.... living for a longer life.0 -
I find that the people i've dealt with that don't like eating are unable to be convinced to change. Me, along with many other people don't have the time to try and help every single person who can't understand the simple concept of healthy weight loss. I've tried helping a few people with struggles, but fell upon deaf ears. I'd rather have my time spent on friends who have their eyes on the true prize: healthy and normal weight loss. Than those who can't understand the healthy or right way to do things.0
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they probably wont except anyone under 1200 calories because that is starving yourself and they don't want to associate with anyone who is willingly starving themselves that's my guess0
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i don't have that but i did unfriend someone who kept complaining about calories, then people would try to help her with ideas and then she's only eat a few hundred calories a day. several of us kept trying to talk to her about it and finally i had to stop seeing it in my feed because it was upsetting to witness/ignored for being concerned and she obviously didn't want help.
i use MFP for support and basically friend other women in my age range with similar goals and problems. it helps me to feel like part of a collective instead of me against everything else in the world.
but anyhow, yeah, under 1200 is unhealthy for anyone--starvation mode is BAD.0 -
If some people aren't allowing others who eat under 1200 cals to be their friend on here because they think its some kind of eating disorder are they not allowing people who eat too many cals be there friend as well? Under and over eating can both be eating disorders... and both need support.0
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Honestly, I don't mind them as long as they don't do the "OMG I'm so fat, I ate 1201 calories today!" "OMG! I binged, I'm at 1062 calories today!" and my personal least favorite "Help, I'm at family functions where I have to eat, how can I make my family think I'm eating when I'm not."
When they post things like that, it makes me feel insecure about eating so much, even though I know I'm doing what is right for me. I'm not recovering from an ED, but my obsessive compulsive tendencies mean that I have to watch myself and be careful to not develop an ED. I'm also super competitive, so seeing people bragging about how little they eat makes me want to eat less.
Bottom line, those friends aren't doing any good for me and I am on this site for me.0 -
Some people don't eat under 1200 on purpose. And what me? My bmr is 1250 and I need to have at least a 100 calorie deficit to lose!
You don't calculate your deficit based on BMR; you calculate it based on TDEE. BMR is what you need if you do nothing.0 -
Just my two cents, my calorie goal on this site while trying to lose 1 lbs/wk is 1280 calories, I eat back some or all of my exercise calories, depending on how I feel....I hope I don't lose support until someone gives me a chance.
It sounds like most of you would, but it offends me when people state it in their profiles.
Just a thought I've only been on MFP for a few weeks now so still getting used to the site...thanks for sharing your opinions so I. Know some (warranted) background! 0 -
This is stupid and idiot Who would ever do this i dont know everyone has a away of doing things if they wanna eat less than 1200 calories let them while still supporting themmm... people who are saying they will not have anyone as a friend who eats under 1200 calories is ridiculuss..0
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If some people aren't allowing others who eat under 1200 cals to be their friend on here because they think its some kind of eating disorder are they not allowing people who eat too many cals be there friend as well? Under and over eating can both be eating disorders... and both need support.
Spot on!
I can see why someone wouldn't want to listen to someone else complain about being a cow at 105lbs, but really? I try to eat 1200 or less every day (mind, this doesn't always happen) based on the fact that that's the range in which I lose weight. I eat healthy, I meet my nutritional requirements, and I feel better when I stick to this limit. Clearly I don't deserve friends??0 -
I personally have an ED, I am working with, I try to keep my daily intake 1200 to 1400. If I am friends with someone who IS NOT working on their ED and continually eatting under 1200, it tends to trigger me. That is my excuse I am sticking to it. If you have an ED and are like me working to increase your calories, I am glad to have you on my friend list. If you are eating fast food for one meal and filling the rest of your calories with beer, and this is on going, then your going too.0
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