Fiancés family....

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  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
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    I would think long and hard.....for this is only the begining.

    Are you and your new husband going to celebrate any holidays or birthdays? Later on down the raod....what if you have kids? Chirstmas, Halloween, Birthdays?

    You are young....I get it

    You NEED to talk about all of this before you actually get married. I know you may think that "we love each other" it will all work out......but realistically.....you need to think about ALL of this.
    I totally agree!

    Plus...it's HIS day too...just sayin'.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    Just break up.
  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
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    Only rule we had was that no Aggie gets married during football season, especially on a saturday. And if so, it is understood that any anniversay coinciding with game day celebration was either tickets to the game or a game watching party.
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
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    Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

    I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

    Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

    Seriously?? REading this I would say he is not the guy for you! Did you not discuss religion before you got engaged, that is a HUGE deal, especially if he is a JW and you believe in celbrating all holidays and plan on having kids....honestly, you don't sound like you are ready to get married, seem a bit immature still.
  • Doesntplaynice82
    Doesntplaynice82 Posts: 119 Member
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    Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

    I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

    Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

    Um if he is a Jehovahs witness you will NEVER be celebrating the holidays together.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

    I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

    Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

    You can't even get to the wedding date in agreement....how are you going to make this work for a lifetime? You two are both adults..decide what both of you want. Most likely his family will eventually come around. But if not...how is every holiday going to work...especially when there are children involved.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

    I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

    Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 


    again, things that the 2 of you need to discuss together BEFORE the wedding.
  • vikingchix
    vikingchix Posts: 105 Member
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    I think everyone can see the writing on the wall.

    You need to open your eyes to what being married to this guy will be.
  • mrs_schultz2012
    mrs_schultz2012 Posts: 395 Member
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    Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

    I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

    Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

    this is the first time he has freaked out about Christmas stuff.....how long have you guys been together? I'm guessing not long since this kind of seems like news to you.....I would hold off on the wedding for a while and figure out who you are as individuals and if you can mesh together as a family unit or not....it's sound like not.....but i wish you all the happiness and luck!

    i wouldn't be able to not celebrate holidays either....that would be tough
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
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    You need to reconsider your marriage. Honestly.

    ^^THIS^^

    Don't fool yourself.. you are JUST as married to your in laws as you are to you husband. I can say with absolute certainty (as can both of our marriage counselors) that his family played a part in our divorce. We don't have religious differences and actually got along slightly more than civil. But they play that big of a part in your marriage.

    and no.. you WON'T celebrate christmas. I had a customer tell me she loved my top, i said i got it for christmas, she told me she was a JW and proceeded to tell me how i was going to rot in hell. Get out now while you can.
  • curtnrod
    curtnrod Posts: 223 Member
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    Ummm...yeah...if they are committed JWs, you either need to join and give up birthdays, holidays and get over yourself, or you need to find a new fiance.
  • Ruthe8
    Ruthe8 Posts: 423 Member
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    Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

    I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

    Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 
    Are you serious?? You are engaged and you haven't even talked about this? You are SO not ready to get married.
  • eyestylemom
    eyestylemom Posts: 107 Member
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    I got married at 20. Its hard. Very hard. Doesn't mean you won't make it though. HOWEVER, different beliefs in religion and what your children will believe or not believe will make it nearly impossible to have a strong unified marriage.
  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
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  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    I have never even ASKED a bride or groom what religion (if any) their wedding ceremony would be in, much less used it as a basis for attending or not attending the wedding. Isn't the whole point that you are celebrating their wedding? Not that you are expecting to convert to their religion? Who does that? Do people really do that? Am I totally out of the wedding loop here?
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Honestly....I don't see this ending well at all. When you marry someone, you marry their family as well. His family becomes your family. If you truly plan on staying together forever (which is what marriage is....supposedly), you will be with his family forever as well. If this is a bone of contention NOW....it's not going to work. You're going to have to learn how to compromise because if they are strict with their religion, it'll never end for you.

    Talk to your fiance and see what his feelings are. If he's willing to stand up to his family so that you can have some plastic candy canes and ornaments, then it's your choice. But is he willing to stand up to his family when it comes to every holiday and family get together? Essentially, you are cutting his family out of your lives at that point.

    So you have to decide what your end goal is....marriage with a good relationship with your in-laws, or cutting your fiance off from his family? Nope....not a good ending...
  • sicilysclover
    sicilysclover Posts: 173 Member
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    Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

    I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

    Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

    Forget the wedding decor. You both need to sit down and figure out the MAJOR stuff (holiday celebrations, etc) before you even get to decorating for the wedding day. How did this stuff not come up while you were dating?
  • kairisika
    kairisika Posts: 131 Member
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    The use of the term 'MY DAY' marks you as self-centred and childish regardless of the content of the rest of your post. If you can't get over your princess fantasies, then you're way too immature and selfish to make a lifetime commitment to another person regardless of your age.
    Before you even consider planning a wedding, make sure the two of you are on the same page with regard to celebrations, how you will relate to each other's families, and what you value for potential children.

    A wedding is one day. A marriage is a lifetime. the marriage deserves an accordant much more time of planning than the wedding.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Just break up.

    This. And then wait at least 5 years before considering marrying anyone else. Seriously.
  • PhillyTD
    PhillyTD Posts: 375 Member
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