The Science Behind "Nice" People

Options
1…1012141516

Replies

  • spearfox
    spearfox Posts: 276 Member
    Options
    My physique and disposition don't exactly scream, "Hey there friendly-friend... let's spoon." :tongue:
    :laugh:
    OW, I think I just got an abdominal workout!
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
    Options
    When you bait people, you will succeed in getting some of them to bite. Was this your motive behind posting this?
    No. Like I said, it was a follow-up to the other thread.

    he likes verbal *kitten*. case closed.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Options
    Yes. This is the empathy thing I was talking about. It is of course partly self-serving, but it's about interaction, so it's not just about you, but about you and the other people and the relationship that exists between you. It can't be separated discretely into you and them - it's about relationship and community, where the sum is greater than the parts.

    That's the coolest thing I've read all morning. :smile:

    I do believe it is hardwired into us to get along and cooperate for the benefit of the group and thus ourselves, but I don't see this as a bad thing at all, or any reason to adopt a certain position in regards to others' motivation.
    I never said it was bad. But, much the same way I'd be weary of your hands, feet, teeth and intellectual capacity to hold a weapon... I'm always cautious.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Options
    Well, of course the irony of certain responses may be a side-benefit to you, but I would say you take far too much joy in it, in my opinion.
    So... now I'm too happy??
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
    Options
    This thread was created by a troll. Please stop feeding him.
  • tigerblood78
    tigerblood78 Posts: 417 Member
    Options
    I used to go about my life assuming everyone I meet is a piece of *kitten* until they proved otherwise. Never trusting anyone, never giving anyone the benefit of the doubt. It's actually a pretty safe way to live your life. You will never be taken advantage of, because you will never let anyone get close enough to do so. However, I realize it doesn't make for a very happy life. It's not that you won't have friends, but more than likely you'll have friends who feel the same way you do. So you'll probably sit around discussing your very cynical views of the world.
    I decided to change things up, and try to follow one simple rule: treat others as I like to be treated. In other words: be nice. Surround yourself with nice people. Distance yourself from negative people. This doesn't mean I trust everyone. Trust has nothing to do with being nice.
    In regards to big, mean, scary people who come off as intimidating: that's their issue. I've spent time with some mma fighters. Guys who train full-time on how to kick *kitten*. Guys who walk the streets knowing they can whip about 99% of the people they run across. These are some of the nicest, most humble guys I've ever known. We go out to a club, and the last thing on their mind is trying to look tough, because they have nothing to prove to anyone.
    Just my .02
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Options
    Ah - to me that falls into the category of 'to get a reaction'. Online forums are a good place to observe people's behaviour in various contexts. Although strictly speaking, posting things to elicit such behaviour is called trolling - so maybe you're not really such a stickler about keeping to the rules! :tongue:

    FWIW, I tend to be a bit mistrustful of people who militantly declare what nice people they are. Then it seems like it's more about self-image than genuine kindness. Genuinely selfless kindness has no interest in declaring itself. In my experience, the kindest, most genuine people are those who admit their motives are mixed and that they are flawed and sometimes selfish and mean.
    Agreed on all counts, with one qualifier. Technically, all posts are "trolling." If you didn't wish to elicit a reaction, you wouldn't post anything at all.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    Options
    Exactly. And the only thing Price's equation proves is that altruism (of which empathy is a part), is an evolutionary component. The same way having two eyes facing forward helps us hunt for food... The same way our intellect put us at the top of the food chain... etc... etc...

    Well, I have to say again that this really isn't 'proof' in the scientific definition!
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    Options
    If I knew for a fact that I personally did not create the post above as a "plant," I wouldn't believe it was real.
    A Sunday school teacher... who clearly, and concisely... using eight (8) different negatively critical qualifiers in her post... was compelled to "lecture" me... whilst sitting in a house of God.... and expressed pure angst, to the extent of manifested hatred... toward me
    I was not sitting in church when I typed that. My response addressed your OP regarding people being "nice". I also contend that my words to you were kinder than they could have been.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    Options
    I just don't see it as simplistically as you seem to. You are saying some daft things sometimes, maybe just to get a reaction, and maybe because you don't know as much about this as you are pretending to.
    Possibly. Or, maybe I get kick out of watching people get extraordinarily mean, ugly and aggressive... with a complete stranger... whilst describing how fundamentally "nice" they really are... to complete strangers.

    Ah - to me that falls into the category of 'to get a reaction'. Online forums are a good place to observe people's behaviour in various contexts. Although strictly speaking, posting things to elicit such behaviour is called trolling - so maybe you're not really such a stickler about keeping to the rules! :tongue:

    FWIW, I tend to be a bit mistrustful of people who militantly declare what nice people they are. Then it seems like it's more about self-image than genuine kindness. Genuinely selfless kindness has no interest in declaring itself. In my experience, the kindest, most genuine people are those who admit their motives are mixed and that they are flawed and sometimes selfish and mean.
    Agreed on all counts, with one qualified. Technically, all posts are "trolling." If you didn't wish to elicit a reaction, you wouldn't post anything at all.

    Nah, the meaning of 'trolling' is a little more specific than that! It also involves not wanting to interact genuinely with people, but just stating things to wind them up, while you stand back and watch. Stating something to get responses in order to interact and have a genuine conversation is not trolling.

    Although to be fair, a lot of people on this site post things to wind people up. You're not the only one.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Options
    If I knew for a fact that I personally did not create the post above as a "plant," I wouldn't believe it was real.
    A Sunday school teacher... who clearly, and concisely... using eight (8) different negatively critical qualifiers in her post... was compelled to "lecture" me... whilst sitting in a house of God.... and expressed pure angst, to the extent of manifested hatred... toward me
    I was not sitting in church when I typed that. My response addressed your OP regarding people being "nice". I also contend that my words to you were kinder than they could have been.
    Yeah. Um. This one isn't even a challenge anymore.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    Options
    I generally trust people who are nice to animals more than people who are nice to people.

    If you're nice to another person, you might have a motive.

    But the only thing you're going to "get" from being nice to a cat is fur on your clothes.

    IME a massive vet bill, some puncture holes and septicaemia.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Options
    Nah, the meaning of 'trolling' is a little more specific than that! It also involves not wanting to interact genuinely with people, but just stating things to wind them up, while you stand back and watch. Stating something to get responses in order to interact and have a genuine conversation is not trolling.

    Although to be fair, a lot of people on this site post things to wind people up. You're not the only one.
    In my mind, "trolling" is someone that posts things like "I hate grandmas and puppies." On strings like this, the word "troll" is typically used as a last-resort cliche' because the poster has no other recourse nor argument.

    Side-note: Little known fact.. the word "troll" has nothing to do with little, green men from mythology. The word actually references the verb "to troll." As in, to troll for fish, by slow dragging bait behind the boat.

    My observations regarding the irony in "nice people" not being nice to a complete stranger, while explaining they're they're always nice to complete strangers, are just that... observations. And kinda funny.

    You throw-in the psychology of people behaving badly because of the anonymity associated with the Internet, you could write a PhD dissertation on this thread alone. lolol.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Options
    Well, of course the irony of certain responses may be a side-benefit to you, but I would say you take far too much joy in it, in my opinion.
    So... now I'm too happy??

    If you are happy by ensnaring people with your rhetoric, yes. Try meeting people where they are at, once in a while. You might like it.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    Options
    Well, of course the irony of certain responses may be a side-benefit to you, but I would say you take far too much joy in it, in my opinion.
    So... now I'm too happy??

    Some need to be "right", rather than happy. What makes you happy? :flowerforyou:
  • bandmhash
    bandmhash Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    This age old mantra leaves out another element that contributes to the majority of humanity. That is the faith in a higher power. We are not animals operating at the most primal level within the "survival of the fittest" notion by strictly acting on survival instincts. The human species has evolved to the point that we can choose our behavior and not simply behave in the manner that ensures our ability to survive. A belief in a higher power almost always centers on love and forgiveness to achieve emotional happiness. This aspect of our human behavior can not be negated and to act within our society as if we are still existing to survive puts you on the fringes of society. I wonder how your large circle of friends and family feel about your fatalistic outlook. Truely, I would like to know how successfully you move through our society with a contrary philosophy.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Options
    Some need to be "right", rather than happy. What makes you happy? :flowerforyou:
    My kids. And bacon.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    Options
    I'd say it's more correlated than proven.
    Actually, it's one of the most highly accepted scientific theorems in history. Google "Price Equation."
    Nice story, but the Price Equation has actually been disproven.

    http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022519311003754

    The equation doesn't actually hold up to reality.
  • RHHMom
    RHHMom Posts: 34 Member
    Options

    Very rarely would a woman find a man attractive, and commence to beating that male with a stick.

    Clearly, you don't hang out with 8 year olds much...
  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
    Options
    Smiling and nodding since i am nice and because i didn't catch any of that novel that was spewed.

    :smile:
This discussion has been closed.

Categories