Is it rude to go to a restaurant and not eat?
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They are a business, and if you are sitting in a chair and not eating, you are costing them money. So it's not a nice thing to do to the restaurant. If you are in a big group it is not as bad, but with only three people and two adults not eating, that's kind of rude.
Oh please. And what if there are many, many empty chairs available in the restaurant?
I understand this argument ONLY if the restaurant is packed with little available seating but if there is tons of open space you aren't stealing business from the restaurant.
Why should anyone be exempted from the celebration just because they aren't hungry?
Lol, you haven't worked in a restaurant, have you.
So, if four people come in and sit at a table for four (tables for three are rare) and three of them eat, but one doesn't, that one person is costing the restaurant money? What restaurant forces a table of three to sit with some random stranger just to use up a chair???
Stop speaking logic! That one chair is costing the restaurant SO MUCH MONEY! And the waitress? She would NEVER have to come to the table if that one person was ordering. *rolls eyes* Stop being ridiculous.
Are you guys serious? You're making an argument that doesn't make sense. No one's saying the ****ing chair costs money. Servers make their money off of tips--tips that are determined by amount of food ordered AND quality of service. If a server is rude to you, by all means don't tip. However, if you order NOTHING, do you leave a tip?
They're not costing the restaurant managers, owners, etc., money... they are costing the servers who do the majority of the work in the place money because they make their money off of tips money. Where are you missing the translation here?
You people are the horror stories.
So ... you're saying the server would get a bigger tip if three people came in and all ordered than if four people came in and only three ordered?
Gotcha.
Lol, do you know what a "straw man" argument is? Perhaps you should acquaint yourself: http://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/strawman
No. Not at all. I'm a complete and total idiot, as has been established in this thread already. I mean, how dare I actually respond to what you actually wrote? Silly, silly me.
Doing it again I see...
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I find it rude as well. I have had this same fight with my husband. While out and about shopping we will decide to stop and eat as I have a 9 year old who is always hungry. We will start to order our food only to find out my husband decides not to order anything. It is very uncomfortable for my son and I to be sitting there eating while he just watches us...:mad:0
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wow you guys are just silly, I think your wife making a big deal out of it was more awkward than you not eating. I went to dinner with some friends of mine right after my daughter was born and one of them didn't eat. It was more disappointing that rude, I told her we could have just gone for coffee but she said it was fine and took the time we spent eating to hold the baby. Not rude, and the waiter didn't think anything of it either. If you aren't hungry you don't have to eat. going out is meant to be social. It's not like your daughters cooked for you and you didn't eat.0
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They are a business, and if you are sitting in a chair and not eating, you are costing them money. So it's not a nice thing to do to the restaurant. If you are in a big group it is not as bad, but with only three people and two adults not eating, that's kind of rude.
Oh please. And what if there are many, many empty chairs available in the restaurant?
I understand this argument ONLY if the restaurant is packed with little available seating but if there is tons of open space you aren't stealing business from the restaurant.
Why should anyone be exempted from the celebration just because they aren't hungry?
Lol, you haven't worked in a restaurant, have you.
So, if four people come in and sit at a table for four (tables for three are rare) and three of them eat, but one doesn't, that one person is costing the restaurant money? What restaurant forces a table of three to sit with some random stranger just to use up a chair???
Stop speaking logic! That one chair is costing the restaurant SO MUCH MONEY! And the waitress? She would NEVER have to come to the table if that one person was ordering. *rolls eyes* Stop being ridiculous.
Are you guys serious? You're making an argument that doesn't make sense. No one's saying the ****ing chair costs money. Servers make their money off of tips--tips that are determined by amount of food ordered AND quality of service. If a server is rude to you, by all means don't tip. However, if you order NOTHING, do you leave a tip?
They're not costing the restaurant managers, owners, etc., money... they are costing the servers who do the majority of the work in the place money because they make their money off of tips. Where are you missing the translation here?
You people are the horror stories.
Nah. Waitstaff with idiotic mentalities like this are the horror stories. Maybe if you applied yourself to something, you wouldn't be living off of tips at places where people with real jobs go to eat for celebratory meals. Now, don't think I haven't been waitstaff. It's VERY typically one of the milestones on the road to restaurant management... which actually is a real job. But the kind of thinking you're employing, is the sort of thing that would keep you waitstaff forever, while someone else makes management. Get that chip off your shoulder, thinking you deserve to be paid a lot to smile and move a few plates, and you might go places.
Lol, I'm no longer a server because it was one of many jobs used to finance education
But thanks Mitt for your concern!
Lol, where's Lobster? She had too much sense and left this thread early.0 -
Lol what am I replying to this thread for, you guys are just going to insult each other long after the op has forgotten about it just like always.0
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Life is WAY too short to have a disagreement over something like this! It might have been unusual, but it just doesn't seem like a big deal to me. I personally would have tipped the server as if I had eaten and actually said that up front to avoid it being uncomfortable for anyone.0
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Considering it was your daughter's birthday, you could've at least celebrated with eating something small, instead of sitting there with an empty plate. But IMO, you put your feelings ahead of your little girl's feelings. You could've sacrificed having SOMETHING for such an occasion, no? If i were you, i would've done something to not cause some tension with you and your wife, and to not disappoint your daughter, as well as everybody else at the table.
Just my .02 cents.......0 -
Not rude at all. I've seen people do it all the time. Some order small things but if you really aren't going to eat it then that's a waste of food and money. Your wife apparently misunderstood why you decided now to eat. Maybe explaining the late lunch could have helped. I don't understand why she thought she couldn't eat too.
Sending texts through dinner, however, is probably a little rude. Especially an argument with someone at the table. Quiet, perhaps, but I believe if you are with family or friends then be with them.0 -
I don't think it was rude.
I think your wife being mad at you is rude,
she knows your on a diet, she shouldn't be mad, she should be supportive.
Why would you waste your money buying something, if your not hungry and your not going to eat it later, to be honest, i wouldn't even bring it home, i'm pretty sure you know how many calories are in those meals !
i really don't understand, why your wife didn't order anything, than *****es you out for doing the same thing ?
but, i guess it does look a little weird... if you don't have anything to eat and your at a restaurant.0 -
For the people arguing back and forth about the rudeness of taking up an extra seat without ordering food...
You're BOTH right!
If it were a Chili's then the extra seat would be of little consequence because the tables seat UP TO x number of people and each group of people is seated at their own table.
Since it was Hibachi, then the extra seat(s) may have actually cost the restaurant money because you often get seated with strangers in that setting to fill a table around the grill/chef before another grill is started and another chef brought out.0 -
I don't understand why she didn't eat. That was the rude part.0
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Lol, where's Lobster? She had too much sense and left this thread early.
I just microwaved some popcorn... All the "you disagree with me, therefore you must be missing something or you're an idiot" posts make me hungry0 -
Doing it again I see...
I don't think you understand the term. But you seem to think saying it makes you sound smart, so by all means, keep saying it.
I was responding directly to your posts, directly to what you said. The term does not apply in this case.0 -
They are a business, and if you are sitting in a chair and not eating, you are costing them money. So it's not a nice thing to do to the restaurant. If you are in a big group it is not as bad, but with only three people and two adults not eating, that's kind of rude.
Oh please. And what if there are many, many empty chairs available in the restaurant?
I understand this argument ONLY if the restaurant is packed with little available seating but if there is tons of open space you aren't stealing business from the restaurant.
Why should anyone be exempted from the celebration just because they aren't hungry?
Lol, you haven't worked in a restaurant, have you.
So, if four people come in and sit at a table for four (tables for three are rare) and three of them eat, but one doesn't, that one person is costing the restaurant money? What restaurant forces a table of three to sit with some random stranger just to use up a chair???
Stop speaking logic! That one chair is costing the restaurant SO MUCH MONEY! And the waitress? She would NEVER have to come to the table if that one person was ordering. *rolls eyes* Stop being ridiculous.
Are you guys serious? You're making an argument that doesn't make sense. No one's saying the ****ing chair costs money. Servers make their money off of tips--tips that are determined by amount of food ordered AND quality of service. If a server is rude to you, by all means don't tip. However, if you order NOTHING, do you leave a tip?
They're not costing the restaurant managers, owners, etc., money... they are costing the servers who do the majority of the work in the place money because they make their money off of tips. Where are you missing the translation here?
You people are the horror stories.
Nah. Waitstaff with idiotic mentalities like this are the horror stories. Maybe if you applied yourself to something, you wouldn't be living off of tips at places where people with real jobs go to eat for celebratory meals. Now, don't think I haven't been waitstaff. It's VERY typically one of the milestones on the road to restaurant management... which actually is a real job. But the kind of thinking you're employing, is the sort of thing that would keep you waitstaff forever, while someone else makes management. Get that chip off your shoulder, thinking you deserve to be paid a lot to smile and move a few plates, and you might go places.
Lol, I'm no longer a server because it was one of many jobs used to finance education But thanks Mitt for your concern!
Lol, where's Lobster? She had too much sense and left this thread early.
And when you were doing it, you had an incredibly inflated sense of entitlement.0 -
Where do you live that servers make $13-14? ...And you still wouldn't tip anyway? Even though they are "serving" you.
I guess I'm wondering where this 3/4 equation's coming from (*cough* Straw Man *cough*).
Two kids ate a restaurant. Two adults did not. Four seats were filled, where two adults would have ordered food that cost more, beverages that cost more, and portions that cost more.
Every server will tell you: oh, table with kid under 13? They will need more serving because of cup sizes, they will be messier, they will eat and drink things that cost less. They require more service for less cost benefit.
On top of that, there are adults. They are not eating. They are angry--publicly so. Not only are they not ordering anything (since we have no proof from OP that they even ordered drinks), they will be upset when they leave. Do you think they tipped more when they left? Do you really think a hungry, irate mom and a peeved dad tipped well, let alone tipped well on service they received (from water, busing, etc.) for the things they didn't order?
But, since you said the whole tipping thing is "moot" to you, you're kind of committing another fallacy, aren't you? You're arguing something you... don't even understand the context of, nor care to understand the context of?
Yeah, please look up the definition of logic
Well, you brought up tipping not me. Where I live not eating isn't rude. I suppose because the wait staff don't rely on tips. I don't live in America, FYI. Things are different here.
For me the whole thing comes down to: If there are empty seats in the restaurant, one customer not ordering is NOT stealing business from the restaurant. That's how I see it. Therefore it is NOT rude for that one customer to not order. No one suffers when one person with a group doesn't eat.
As to the OP's situation, I do think his wife not ordering made this a much bigger deal then it needed to be. Had she ordered our equation of 3/4 would have made it okay. :P0 -
They are a business, and if you are sitting in a chair and not eating, you are costing them money. So it's not a nice thing to do to the restaurant. If you are in a big group it is not as bad, but with only three people and two adults not eating, that's kind of rude.
Oh please. And what if there are many, many empty chairs available in the restaurant?
I understand this argument ONLY if the restaurant is packed with little available seating but if there is tons of open space you aren't stealing business from the restaurant.
Why should anyone be exempted from the celebration just because they aren't hungry?
Lol, you haven't worked in a restaurant, have you.
So, if four people come in and sit at a table for four (tables for three are rare) and three of them eat, but one doesn't, that one person is costing the restaurant money? What restaurant forces a table of three to sit with some random stranger just to use up a chair???
Stop speaking logic! That one chair is costing the restaurant SO MUCH MONEY! And the waitress? She would NEVER have to come to the table if that one person was ordering. *rolls eyes* Stop being ridiculous.
Are you guys serious? You're making an argument that doesn't make sense. No one's saying the ****ing chair costs money. Servers make their money off of tips--tips that are determined by amount of food ordered AND quality of service. If a server is rude to you, by all means don't tip. However, if you order NOTHING, do you leave a tip?
They're not costing the restaurant managers, owners, etc., money... they are costing the servers who do the majority of the work in the place money because they make their money off of tips. Where are you missing the translation here?
You people are the horror stories.
Nah. Waitstaff with idiotic mentalities like this are the horror stories. Maybe if you applied yourself to something, you wouldn't be living off of tips at places where people with real jobs go to eat for celebratory meals. Now, don't think I haven't been waitstaff. It's VERY typically one of the milestones on the road to restaurant management... which actually is a real job. But the kind of thinking you're employing, is the sort of thing that would keep you waitstaff forever, while someone else makes management. Get that chip off your shoulder, thinking you deserve to be paid a lot to smile and move a few plates, and you might go places.
Lol, I'm no longer a server because it was one of many jobs used to finance education But thanks Mitt for your concern!
Lol, where's Lobster? She had too much sense and left this thread early.
And when you were doing it, you had an incredibly inflated sense of entitlement.
Sure didn't :P I'm sure you knew because of me pointing out the exact equation of service + money + cost. Nowhere did I say I was rude or wouldn't serve less... but I don't expect someone like you to understand, if you get my drift.0 -
WOW people have a lot of feelings on this! Ok, here's mine!
It was EXTREMELY RUDE for you to TEXT at dinner, especially as Japanese hibachi is a show experience and what time the show is not on is when you can socialize with your party!
I don't think it was necessarily rude of you not to order - just a little strange as it is a place you go to be served food in a show but if you were not hungry and there mostly for your daughter then I think it was ok not to order - I do hope you tipped as if you had ordered though as I agree that in this PARTICULAR restaurant style you are taking up a place that another paying/tipping customer could have sat. (For those who have never eaten at a Japanese hibachi restaurant you sit with other parties around a large cooking area).
However, I think it was ridiculous for your wife not to order as well. Why would she not order? If she was hungry she should have ordered and it was completely hypocritical of her to be mad at you for not ordering and then she not order either - doesn't that make her just as rude as you???
If she was worried about looking like a "pig" then she has more issues than can even be discussed let alone solved in this forum discussion - too many women have this hang up and need to deal with the real issues they have with food :-(
Maybe you and your wife need to have a more indepth talk about how both of you currently and want to in the future deal with food and eating related issues - outside the home and in it as well.0 -
Where do you live that servers make $13-14? ...And you still wouldn't tip anyway? Even though they are "serving" you.
I guess I'm wondering where this 3/4 equation's coming from (*cough* Straw Man *cough*).
Two kids ate a restaurant. Two adults did not. Four seats were filled, where two adults would have ordered food that cost more, beverages that cost more, and portions that cost more.
Every server will tell you: oh, table with kid under 13? They will need more serving because of cup sizes, they will be messier, they will eat and drink things that cost less. They require more service for less cost benefit.
On top of that, there are adults. They are not eating. They are angry--publicly so. Not only are they not ordering anything (since we have no proof from OP that they even ordered drinks), they will be upset when they leave. Do you think they tipped more when they left? Do you really think a hungry, irate mom and a peeved dad tipped well, let alone tipped well on service they received (from water, busing, etc.) for the things they didn't order?
But, since you said the whole tipping thing is "moot" to you, you're kind of committing another fallacy, aren't you? You're arguing something you... don't even understand the context of, nor care to understand the context of?
Yeah, please look up the definition of logic
Well, you brought up tipping not me. Where I live not eating isn't rude. I suppose because the wait staff don't rely on tips. I don't live in America, FYI. Things are different here.
For me the whole thing comes down to: If there are empty seats in the restaurant, one customer not ordering is NOT stealing business from the restaurant. That's how I see it. Therefore it is NOT rude for that one customer to not order. No one suffers when one person with a group doesn't eat.
As to the OP's situation, I do think his wife not ordering made this a much bigger deal then it needed to be. Had she ordered our equation of 3/4 would have made it okay. :P
Sigh. You're not saying anything I didn't say
No one said stealing, "empty seat," etc... It's all about a custom you don't even have in your country. You literally just spent 30 minutes arguing over something I never said, nor do you seem familiar with.
Well, I'm out. Lol, good luck OP, if you ever return.0 -
I appreciate everyone's replies, whether you agree with me or not. I also agree that it was very rude of both of us to text each other like that back and forth. Fortunately, my daughter and her friend (and my son who was also with us), did not realize what was going on, we've both been on MFP for a couple of months now, so they are used to us eating a little differently these days.
Do the guy warning about showing this to my wife and getting in the doghouse, I have no plans for that. I wouldn't hide it from her, but I certainly don't plan on throwing it in her face. I was just curious to know what others thought since I was so bewildered by her reaction.
Just to answer a couple of the comments:
1) The restaurant had open tables, and groups were not being seated together, so we definitely didn't cost them business by taking up chairs.
2) I thought that my wife was going to order, so my not ordering would have had a smaller impact on the bill than both of us. I definitely wouldn't plan on going out and having both of us not order.
3) I have done this a couple of other times, and never knew that it was something that upset my wife to this extent. I guess we need to communicate better in the future, and I will definitely know better in the future.
Thanks again for all of your answers.0 -
I appreciate everyone's replies, whether you agree with me or not. I also agree that it was very rude of both of us to text each other like that back and forth. Fortunately, my daughter and her friend (and my son who was also with us), did not realize what was going on, we've both been on MFP for a couple of months now, so they are used to us eating a little differently these days.
Do the guy warning about showing this to my wife and getting in the doghouse, I have no plans for that. I wouldn't hide it from her, but I certainly don't plan on throwing it in her face. I was just curious to know what others thought since I was so bewildered by her reaction.
Just to answer a couple of the comments:
1) The restaurant had open tables, and groups were not being seated together, so we definitely didn't cost them business by taking up chairs.
2) I thought that my wife was going to order, so my not ordering would have had a smaller impact on the bill than both of us. I definitely wouldn't plan on going out and having both of us not order.
3) I have done this a couple of other times, and never knew that it was something that upset my wife to this extent. I guess we need to communicate better in the future, and I will definitely know better in the future.
Thanks again for all of your answers. Well, now that you know it's a problem for her you guys can sort it out. 0
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