Age difference in relationships

eatcleanNtraindirty
eatcleanNtraindirty Posts: 444 Member
in Chit-Chat
What's the oldest/youngest person you've dated? And what was/is the age gap?

I thought this would be an interesting topic.

The last girl (or woman) I dated is 36. I am 24. That is the largest age gap that I have ever experienced personally. I have dated +/- 3 years before that. Even with our somewhat significant age difference, we had the best relationship that I have ever been in. She says the same. We were best friends and great lovers. Everything was perfect except that I can't see myself having kids in 2-4 years when I'm ready with someone who would be potentially 40 years old. I'm sorry if this offends any of you around that age!! But as a 24 year old, 2 years out of college, I just couldn't fathom it. So when I moved away for work I ended it a couple months after the move. I moved 3 hours away. It really sucks because we were so awesome together. I looked forward to spending every moment I could with her and she the same with me. We enjoyed doing everything together, even grocery shopping.

I know some of you think I am an idiot for letting her go but to my defense, I do too. But nonetheless my viewpoint still stands that I wouldn't want to have a 40 year old birthing my children (whether it's safe or not) when I would still be under 30.

So what about you all??
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Replies

  • LesleeBeAlive
    LesleeBeAlive Posts: 504
    I think it depends on the people. My mom is 8 years older than my step-dad. They workout great.
    I personally stick to no older than 4 years. No younder than 1.. Only because I am 22.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    My boyfriend is 9 months younger than me. My father, however, is currently dating a woman 34 (I'm 28) and he's 51. I can't tell how okay he is with it, but I HATE It. She's rude, snobbish and behaves like she's 18.
  • LaurySch
    LaurySch Posts: 277 Member
    I used to be pretty specific about only dating guys older than me - my rationale was that guys mature slower :wink:

    Then I got involved with my ex who was almost 10 years older than me and let me tell you, I've met 16 year olds who show more maturity than that lump of humanity!

    As I get older I find I'm more open to relationships that I previously considered not appropriate. I think if you can find someone who you really connect with then age shouldn't be a deal breaker!

    And I don't blame you for ending the relationship because you couldn't handle the difference - it would have been a lot worse if you'd taken the 'next step' and found that you just couldn't get past it!
  • MtnKat
    MtnKat Posts: 714
    My husband is 9 years younger than me (at my age now, that makes me a cougar lol).

    He was 19 when I met him...I was 28. I swear I thought he was older and then after a year of dating, I saw his drivers license for some reason. Well, by that time I was hooked and had to decide whether or not we should keep seeing each other (I say he lied to me about his age but he swears up and down he didn't...he just never mentioned it).

    We've been together now for 17 years....the age difference didn't mean a thing. He is the love of my life....I doubt there will be anyone else for me.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    Oldest i dated was 36, when i was 19....youngest was 18 when I was 21, I'm 24 now and when i do date women in their mid to laste 30s they simply aren't looking for what i am, they been there done that so they just want sex and someone to show off sometimes while I'm looking for something more serious, so in short it never works
  • Colonel_Brandon
    Colonel_Brandon Posts: 256 Member
    I have been involved with a woman 8 years older (when I was 28), and also with one 18 years younger (last year when I was 41).

    In both instances, they came on to me.

    It was trippy.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    The oldest was my age. The youngest was two years younger.

    I wouldn't date someone 5 years older, however g&p is not out of the question.

    My friend who was 20 lost his virginity to a 38 year old. Must've been fun telling her his real age :laugh:.
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
    I was 20, she was 31.
  • jenaissance
    jenaissance Posts: 302 Member
    biggest gap was when I was 22 and he was 34.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    I was 25 , he was 54....and to put it into perspective...my dad was 49 at the time.

    so yeah......

    we dated for a year and a half...
  • invisibubble
    invisibubble Posts: 662 Member
    Eight years between me and my fiancé. Same with my dad and his wife, actually. The controversy (if you will) with me and my guy was that when we met, 10 years ago, and started dating, I was 16.
  • Justkeepswimmin
    Justkeepswimmin Posts: 777 Member
    I"m 29 my hubby is 52 we met when I was 21. It doesn't help that I don't age as fast as would be expected...when I was 26 a highschooler thought I was in his class :)

    Logistically we put the cut off at 50 (or I did) if we didn't have any biological children by then then that would be it. I do have a daugther adopted/step.

    I would say that I can't answer if it's 'wrong' or not - only time will tell if I made the right decision for me and you made the right decision for you. There's no one size fits all when it comes to age differences in relationships. I do know that if I had held out like 6 more years guys my own age MAY have started to feel attractive (emotionally) to me...but I never met a guy in college I ever saw as long term material...perhaps it was the college I went to?

    As it is my husband IS my husband and I don't know how to make that more clear because it's much more in depth that it sounds. He's part of me and I can't imagine life without him, and believe me with our age difference I try because it seems likely that may happen someday. However, I just can't fathom it, I know I belong with him.
  • ravenwcatz
    ravenwcatz Posts: 105 Member
    I'm not attracted to men younger than myself. Period. The youngest man I've been seriously involved with was two years older than myself. The oldest is my current, and is 19 years older than myself. And is probably the most compatible with me in many ways.

    We're both artsy, he's turned me into a foreign film snob. He works for the symphony, I work for a theater. We both dabble in photography.

    People have asked me if I notice the age difference. Not really. He's pretty athletic and keeps himself in good shape. Most of my friends tell me they would have thought he was about 35. (I... don't think so, but whatever. :P)

    I'm sure some people would assume I'm a gold-digger or whatever, but if I am, I'm a pretty horrible one. We're both too bohemian to have a whole lot of money, but what we've got ends up consuming a lot of art.

    It took him a year to tell me he loved me. But I'm pretty sure I believe him, moreso than anyone who might have said it before.

    How's that?
  • CaWaterBug8
    CaWaterBug8 Posts: 1,040 Member
    Welp, I'm 20 (will be 21 on Monday:bigsmile: ) and I'm dating a guy who turned 35 the day after we met.
  • Ginnyesq
    Ginnyesq Posts: 109
    My boyfriend is about 5 years younger than me. I don't know that I would really be comfortable much younger than that. It only comes up occasionally when I say "I remember this song from High School" and he says "oh yeah, I remember it from 6th grade".
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
    12yrs

    i was 20. he was 32
  • HBinOC
    HBinOC Posts: 78 Member
    I am 38 now. My ex was 9 years younger than me- No one could figure that one out- I look younger and he looked older. It's not really about a number but the inside and" outside"- to be honest of a person. We split up for almost similiar reasons I was ready and he was not ( his immaturity being a factor- I had been there- done that and he still had oats to sow and yes- when I am 50 he would be 4O . I would date someone older or younger again if there is a connection. Relationships grow and develop much more than on age- If that is a factor I think there is more to the issue. ( my opinion) If you are regretting your choice and If it's not too late contact her- The " right ones" don't come along very often.
  • bethygirlie
    bethygirlie Posts: 311 Member
    My fiance' is 24 and I'm 32. I love him with all my heart. It works out well because I act WAY younger than I am, and people have told me I look like I'm in my early-middle 20's.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    The oldest I dated was 27 when I was 20.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    I was 25 , he was 54....and to put it into perspective...my dad was 49 at the time.

    so yeah......

    we dated for a year and a half...

    Wooowhooo! I'm just a divorce and an international relocation from paradise!
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
    My fiance is turning 30 in May and I'm turning 21 in December and we fit perfectly together.

    He's mature and knows what he wants and I'm more mature than most and know what I want.

    If you have similar goals, opinions, feelings, beliefs, any relationship can work out, despite age.
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
    When I was 19 I dated a 28 yr old.

    Once I hit 30 I figured I could go +/-10 yrs.

    The largest difference was -9 1/2 yrs, but that was more of a fling than a "relationship"

    The largest difference in a real relationship was -6 1/2 yrs. and the reason that ended had nothing to do with age.

    I had a friend whose husband was +12 yrs. She always said "I don't have to worry about my husband's mid-life crisis, I WAS HIS MID-LIFE CRISIS"
  • mingecrackers
    mingecrackers Posts: 152
    I was 17, he was 41 - it was pretty nice whilst it lasted ^_^
  • Sarahneedstoshrink
    Sarahneedstoshrink Posts: 32
    My husband is 14 years older than I am , We have been together 12years
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    When I was 21, a buddy of mine in the Navy set me up with his mother...no, really.
    Not sure of her age, but it was somewhere between hot and hot damn! So the age seemed about right to me.
  • RocketsGirl
    RocketsGirl Posts: 339 Member
    I used to have hard rules about the age gap. However, I now think that it depends on the person. What is important to me is how he treats me and how we feel about each other. As long as we are both on the same page what does age matter?
  • saverys_gal
    saverys_gal Posts: 808 Member
    I had just turned 21 on our first date and found out he was 34...we were both shocked by the age gap but we had fun anyhow. My hubby and I are the same age and I'm perfectly okay with that.
  • Surisaddai
    Surisaddai Posts: 142 Member
    I like to date men that are a bit older than me. I am 28 and usually go for men that are anywhere between my age and 35ish. I do not like to date younger guys :/ because it has just never worked out.
  • jwolfe0709
    jwolfe0709 Posts: 50 Member
    My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. He is 37, I am 23. We have an absolutely amazing relationship. Never really think about the age difference- he surely doesn't look his age!
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
    I haven't ever dated anyone younger than me because I've always spent time with people (men and woman) older than I am. I've always been attracted to men older than I am, and now that I have children I can't imagine ever dating anyone my age. Even woman my age drive me crazy (no offense, I really am not trying to me rude). The biggest age gap has been 8 years, but I'd be open to more. I don't think the number has anything to do with it, it's the attraction, the connection, the maturity level - so many things!

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