So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?

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  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
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    They will respond when you stop questioning your self about your weight being the reason they aren't into you. different people have different types thats all. I'm not saying be completely indifferent but you will have more luck if you just be yourself and stop trying for a response.
  • JanaCanada
    JanaCanada Posts: 917 Member
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    OK, here;'s the thing....

    When I was young, my best friend's mother was married 3 times, and always had boyfriends calling and knocking down her door to get to her. (No, she wasn't trampy. In fact, she was very religious and she never "gave it away" until she was married.) The woman weighed over 250 lbs and was only 5 feet tall!

    You know what drew men to her like fies? She was warm, caring, loving, and funny as hell! When she walked into a room, it turned into a party! Her personality was brighter than a 500 watt bulb! She carried herself as if she were a runway model, had the manners of a well-schooled royal, and exuded an air of confidence. She was diligent about applying perfect make-up and had her hair done weekly, and she had a megawatt smile. She always made everyone feel like they were the most important person in the world. She is now 90 years young and is the light of the nursing home. Men STILL flock to be by her side.

    My point is this: weight matters little. And if someone else decides to MAKE it a point, then they're not worthy of you.
  • GhostPack
    GhostPack Posts: 197 Member
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    Weight means nothing. Being fit helps to hook up with shallow girls some, but isn't an end game.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    OK so I see this "walking up to the wrong girls" a lot. What do you guy/girls consider to be the RIGHT girls then? How do you spot them by looking at them? Is "wrong girls" code for women to pretty or something?

    If you're across the room, bar, whatever and a girl keeps looking in your direction, she's interested. Approach her.

    I think this is what I was getting at. Doesn't really happen to me. I never catch any women looking.

    Well, doll, I don't know what to tell you. It must be a vibe you put out because while I don't necessarily go for a guy with a full beard like you have (that would be a turn-off to me, personally), based on your photo, you're a nice-looking man and a lot of women wouldn't mind the beard.

    I guess the answer is to think more highly of yourself. That does come across in body language and probably other not obvious ways.

    But I'll say that even with the beard, again based only on your photo, I would talk to you if you approached me (well, if I were single).
  • smokedragon97
    smokedragon97 Posts: 111 Member
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    Well, I will start out by saying that I have dated very few hot guys, mainly ugly guys, dumb guy, and my longest relationship was with a cuter chubby guy (5'9'' 215lb) And people always tell me how hot I am and that I could do better, so don't think all women are shallow. The problem may be your confidence. Maybe you're not charming or sweet enough? The flowers and notes really get me going! Are you funny, or are your comments just ****? Some jokes are better left unsaid. Do you approach women that appear to be single, and loving it? Maybe they don't want a "nice guy" to get tied down to.... The possibilities are endless. But I will say this, NEVER expect a woman to approach you, that's your job. And also, compliment her every time you see her or talk to her. That will keep her coming back for more. Good luck! Oh and keep working out, we love firmness too.

    Can't really bring flowers to the bar?? Also I'm not sure 30 seconds is enough time to be charming. It's usually over shortly after "Hi." I'll make sure to try to be more aware of the single and loving it thing I guess. Makes sense.

    ROFL!! Flowers to a bar.... yeah, that would be pushing it......LOL :laugh:
  • kayduro
    kayduro Posts: 249 Member
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    You're walking up to the wrong girls.

    ^^^this.
  • CollegiateGrief
    CollegiateGrief Posts: 552 Member
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    We should all just give up and buy cats.
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    for the wrong girls, the weight of your wallet. so, load it up with stones and let them hold it.
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    Confidence, my man...OWN your awesome. And get off the "looks" factor.

    Best Advice EVER!!!!!
  • willwillywilson
    willwillywilson Posts: 229
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    We should all just give up and buy cats.

    Hey I have a cat! Two dogs also though so that makes up for the cat.
  • fitpilatesqueen
    fitpilatesqueen Posts: 337
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    There can be so many reasons. Women are complicated just like to us men are complicated.
    For example. I would probably walk away not because of your weight or personality, I would walk away simply because men scare the hell out of me, nothing I can control but I get this I´m sufficating of fear feeling.

    Just don´t let the wrong ones stop you from walking up to a woman and talk to her.
  • willwillywilson
    willwillywilson Posts: 229
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    for the wrong girls, the weight of your wallet. so, load it up with stones and let them hold it.

    What's the old joke? Girls are like condoms. More time in your wallet than on your...well you know.
  • hope8311
    hope8311 Posts: 166
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    I'll be honest whenever someone approached me, I would never turn them away or make them feel bad...(I was always commited so never was rude, let the guys speak b4 telling them I was taken).

    But I did notice some guys were not confident enough and had a hard time feeling comfortable...

    Confidence is a key, and remember theres a difference between confidence and being cocky....
  • hope8311
    hope8311 Posts: 166
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    Oh and stick in there you seem like a nice guy so don't worry or dwell so much on it...your day will come... I'm sure of it.
  • kvossandrews
    kvossandrews Posts: 210 Member
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    Change your mind set.

    It is their loss if they walk away.

    They are not worth your time.

    xoxoxoxoxoxox:wink:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    I dated a guy who was around 300 lbs. He was very confident and fun to be with, so I really didn't even "see" his weight. I have a friend who is about the same size who complains about not being able to meet anyone, because all they see is his weight. I think what they really see is his negativity and low self-confidence. Self-confidence is a pretty big turn-on. Don't mistake being confident with being a douche, and you'll eventually meet the right girl.
  • ncahill77
    ncahill77 Posts: 501 Member
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    Depends on what you want man, most of the girls looking for the super hot guy are looking for a self esteem boost, if you are just looking for a short "fun" ride around the block with one of them and you have a very short time frame to make an impression you basically have to not give a sh1t what they think and you have to make sure they know you don't care while not being a total @ss at the same time. That being said you strike me as the type who is actually looking for a caring person and that my friend is sometimes hard, just let your personality shine through with people you meet and actually have a chance to interact with for more than a few seconds.
  • CressidaJL
    CressidaJL Posts: 53 Member
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    Firstly, MASSIVE KUDOS to the (sadly, very few) posters who mentioned that different people are attracted to different things. My faith in humanity has been somewhat restored, so thanks for that.

    Having said which, there are a LOT of really unpalatable posts on this thread, including the OP's. Treating all women as if they're the same; as if there's one thing we all find attractive (be it a certain weight, hairstyle, build, age, height, etc) is massively insulting. Take the replies stating things like: 'fat women are nicer than skinny ones' (No, they're not! Some are, some aren't, but you cannot generalise like that!) and 'women like confidence, but hate arrogance' (Who the hell are you to tell me what I like? I happen to LOVE arrogance!). Wow. Just, wow. *slow-hand clap*

    To the OP: My genuine advice would be to try - and bear with me here - approaching someone you like the look of as an individual, because you want to chat to them, to get to know them, without the underlying motivation of a getting laid. Approaching a woman because you've lost some weight so now she has no reason to turn you down is an incredibly unattractive attitude, and I would suggest that it's that rather than anything at all to do with what you weigh that is your problem.
    if you have a hot body and are a douche, you will still be lonely.
    ^^^^^ Yeah, basically this. ^^^^^
  • smokedragon97
    smokedragon97 Posts: 111 Member
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    Also realize, not everyone is confident in themselves either - it could be that she turned away because she was trying to find confidence in herself to talk to you too; but when she turned back around, you were already walking away.... If it's a bar, continue to the bar, order a drink, and start a conversation, if she is interested - she'll talk, if she's not interested, then she'll most likely turn away or turn you down then.

    I don't know the setup, but don't forget, just because you were looking at someone doesn't give us the telepathy to let us know "hey, I want to talk to you" - we cannot read minds. Unless you open your mouth to say something; we don't know if you just happened to be walking by and glancing at us or what. I can not tell you how many guys I thought was going to approach me and say something, and I say "hello, hi are you doing?" and they keep walking.... just open you mouth and say something. And if she is not interested, don't take it to heart and keep looking for someone who is.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    dudes are crazy in this thread :laugh:

    for me personally, the weight isn't going to be a factor in whether or not i talk to a guy or not, provided he's confident and has a personality, but it will more than likely make a difference in whether or not i'd be physically attracted to him or not.

    i tend to prefer my mancandy fuller and fluffier, so for me the but off would be if he seemed like he wasn't healthy enough or had enough stamina. for instance if dude can barely walk up a flight of stairs without needing oxygen, what the hell am i going to do with him? :laugh:

    what can i say, i'm shallow. but sex and cuddling *to me* is largely based on physical attraction since that stuff involves rubbing bodies together, not rubbing minds, personality, senses of humor etc. . i'm not a hypocrite either because i dont take it personally when guys might not find me physically attractive because of my size.

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