Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??

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  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    ROFL. Scary to be a 4 year old? Wow. Just wow. Yea, its the roughest part of your life, you have to eat, try not to sh1t and piss your pants and not act like a demon constantly. How many bills and resposibilities does a 4 year old have? You people are pathetic. And who said anything about hitting with objects? One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten* and a strong voice always worked on me.

    #1: Who said anything about hitting with objects? The OP who said she was beaten with a belt until she bled. The very genesis of this thread was hitting with objects.

    #2: Not scary to be a 4 year old? You think bills and responsibilities are scary? You're a coward. To a 4 year old, the monsters in the closet ARE REAL. There are REALLY MONSTERS THAT WILL EAT YOU, while you sleep. Steal your genitals while you sit on a toilet. They don't understand reality yet because they are only four. And you think they're *kitten*, good for you. Further, they have no control over anything. They have no money, no job, no choice in ANYTHING. They are completely dependent on their parents . . . which, for some kids, are probably a bit worse than others.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I'm guessing he had no time/resources to leave and come back later so he had no choice but to continue shopping even while his kid was freaking out.

    Really his options are limited. He can't punish the child in public - some douche would call Protective Services. And he can't leave (presumably) so he has to shop with a screaming kid.

    Instead of thinking; what a bad parent! I, as a cashier, would have been thinking: God. The poor guy. And I would have maybe even tried to engage the kid.

    I've done it before. Sometimes a stranger talking to them WILL get them to stop screaming for a minute or two. Sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't work at all but at least I TRIED to help instead of standing there and casting rash judgments.
  • madworld1
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    I carry a wooden spoon with me. It serves as a paddle. When my son was little, I would take him to the car or the bathroom. No, I didn't beat him with it. But, I spanked his rear. I still carry the wooden spoon, but all I have to do is take it out and show it to him. He knows I'm not playing around.

    That said, all kids are different. Some don't respond to that kind of discipline. Sometimes it's better to give no attention to the tantrum & let it play it's course. In that situation, I would leave the store.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    Oh this is fun. Its like everyone's personal biases just coming out for a good rage! I'm not sure everyone is pissed off enough yet. Can you all please try harder?

    Its not a lack of parents beating their kids that's wrong with our country. Its what's demonstrated by this thread. Everything is black or white, good or bad. My kids are pretty good kids but they do have their moments. I'm sure i'm not alone. If you don't like kids then I'm sorry but you're still going to see them on the streets. I remember not liking old people when I was younger because they were mean and smelled funny. Guess what, I'm closer to old than young now so lesson learned. And, yes there are some pretty bad parents out there that inflict their bratty children on others. Guess what, us other parents also have to deal with them too.

    Get over yourselves. And no, making a kid bleed is never a good thing.
  • cookingcow
    cookingcow Posts: 78 Member
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    See, I see the point of both sides. The parent terrified to punish his child in public because of media these days. But honestly, who grew up never being spanked?

    I have the most fantastic, loving mother ever. But she spanked me. She spanked me AND my five siblings.

    Yep, six of us. Six kids ranging from ages 12-3 at one point. MANY of us were in the "Tantrum phase" at one time and there was a whole gaggle of us. What did she do? She MADE us walk in single file line behind her in the store. Any misbehaving/ back talk and she would do one of two things, start praying VERY loudly for her misbehaving children to be taken by the hand of the "lord" and start behaving (mind we are NOT a religious family. In fact we have christians, jews and atheists in our family) or she would sing some childish song, like Elmo, loudly until we started behaving. Come time to check out, we had to sit with our back against the wall. No talking. If any one of us caused any scene or had an ongoing fit, we were spanked. I was hit across the face once when I tried to avoid being hit on the butt, but that was just once. I have turned out fine. Same with my siblings. No ongoing emotional pain or "mommy issues"

    How someone wants to raise their kids is completely their business, HOWEVER if their misbehaving child starts misbehaving in public, it WILL cause a scene and people LOVE scenes. It will be talked about, posted online and even ranted about in forums. It is what happens. It is what you sign up for. If you get to your child's level, have preventative measures/ have a set plan like my mom did, it might help make things easier...
  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
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    My kids don't act like that at all because they know they will get a spanking... Spanking is so effective I don't even need to do it any more. I just give them a look and they shape right up. I remember when I was a kid my dad whooped me with his belt on the cereal isle; these days you'd probably have the cops called on you, but I never ever acted up with my dad because all it takes is one time.
    I carry a wooden spoon with me. It serves as a paddle. When my son was little, I would take him to the car or the bathroom. No, I didn't beat him with it. But, I spanked his rear. I still carry the wooden spoon, but all I have to do is take it out and show it to him. He knows I'm not playing around.

    That said, all kids are different. Some don't respond to that kind of discipline. Sometimes it's better to give no attention to the tantrum & let it play it's course. In that situation, I would leave the store.

    ^^This is so true. Same for me. I very, very rarely ever got spanked because I knew that it would actually happen if I kept doing whatever it was that was getting me threatened with spanking in the first place.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Oh this is fun. Its like everyone's personal biases just coming out for a good rage! I'm not sure everyone is pissed off enough yet. Can you all please try harder?

    Its not a lack of parents beating their kids that's wrong with our country. Its what's demonstrated by this thread. Everything is black or white, good or bad. My kids are pretty good kids but they do have their moments. I'm sure i'm not alone. If you don't like kids then I'm sorry but you're still going to see them on the streets. I remember not liking old people when I was younger because they were mean and smelled funny. Guess what, I'm closer to old then young now so lesson learned. And, yes there are some pretty bad parents out there that inflict their bratty children on others. Guess what, us other parents also have to deal with them too.

    Get over yourselves. And no, making a kid bleed is never a good thing.

    One of the only rational posts in the thread.

    The black/white people don't want to acknowledge is that yes... We all realize there is a strong distinction between spanking a child and beating her with a belt until she bleeds. Whether or not you think either or both are okay, there's a difference between these two things to every single person here, parent or not. If you really think it is okay to break a child's skin in punishment for a tantrum, which every child will have at some point in their life, you are a very, very special person.

    But you guys just want to argue and I'm only here to troll so what does it matter.
  • Moonbeamlissie
    Moonbeamlissie Posts: 504 Member
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    I agree with the first few responders. The only reason I am responding to this is because I have two kids and one never threw a fit but my second HOLY COW!! She is now 11 and still throws these fits....... She is autisitc... she has aspergers and has melt downs often. NOTHING you can do can console these childrens.. so before you go thinking there is something wrong with a kid or that they are just a spoiled rotten brat sit back and think there may be more going on than you are aware of just by looking in from the outside.


    AUTISM AWARENESS!!!!
  • xnikkixsikkix
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    I'm going to agree with PP that you obviously don't have kids. 99.9% of the time, if my kid pitches a fit in public and I can't redirect her attentions withing two minutes, I will leave my cart and exit the store, but that .1% of the time, there just isn't that option, which is probably the case. The father was probably already mortified, as most parents are when their children act up in a public place.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
    I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.

    Missed this before.

    Post of the thread.

    Brilliant! I have a 3.5 year old and a 19 month old. I avoid taking them shopping because it's boring for them. Bored kids act up, and really, shopping is not fun! My son (3.5) loves coming to the supermarket with me and is so well behaved. I don't but him everything he wants and he doesn't have a tantrum. If he starts to whine i distract him.

    I'm not saying he's perfect - neither of my kids are - and when they do have a tantrum I just try to distract them so they forget what they were having a strop about.

    For all you know that kid having a tantrum is autistic or something. A friend of mine has a 7 year old with aspergers. Don't judge.
  • SteviePaige
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    Other people's children suck.

    There are two kinds of people watching a tantrum. The kind that think, Oh that poor child. The rest are thinking, Oh the poor parents.

    ^^This!! Thank you! :)
  • Nice
    Nice Posts: 84
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    i remember taking my 3 and 4 year old boys to the olive garden once. They could handle a half hour out to eat without getting too annoyed with being strapped in a high chair..lol
    The problem was there was a 25 minute wait..we really wanted to go out to eat and decided to wait the time. the boys did really well for the first 10 minutes..but of course, they are young, hyper and curious. They started running and getting hyper and crying when we held them. they wanted to get down and explore.
    Finally it was our turn to be seated but by then the boys were pretty hyper and really tired of the situation. I put them in their high chairs and the yelling began. This is the most uncomfortable situation I can think of. Others coming to enjoy a meal and having to listen to our kids yell and trow crayons across the room. Plus the amount of stress it added to my husband and I trying to calm the boys and have a decent meal.
    We looked at each other and knew it wasn't going to happen. We got up and decided to leave. The waitress came by and we apologized and left. We knew there was no way this meal would be pleasant for anyone.
    Sometimes that's just what a parent has to do I guess..I mean how long do you expect a 3 and 4 year old to sit still while eating at a restaurant? It's too stressful of a situation and punishing the boys didn't feel right. Unfortunately at that age..they just don't want to sit still!! they want to run, explore, have fun..not sit in a highchair and behave. I'm not saying my boys are hyper and uncontrollable..it's just the certain situation was too long for them to deal with..the amount of time they were being asked to calm down or be held was just too long and their behavior understandably worsened.
  • RubyRed8067
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    OK people. I never suggested they beat a kid until they bled. I DID suggest they spank them though...not necessarily with a belt, but at the very least the palm of their hand. I probably should have clarified.

    And on a sidenote...the dad DID get the kid that toy, but this one was too far gone to stop the tantrum.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Kids screaming in restaurants actually kind of bugs me, most people go out to eat to enjoy a nice meal without hearing screaming children, if you can't keep them under control don't go out or get a sitter.

    THIS!!!!! I do NOT want to hear YOUR screaming misbehaving child when I am out on a date with my husband. Don't you want to spend time alone with YOUR husband? Get a sitter! Have a date night. Dinner for two is cheaper than dinner for two plus kiddos. And they won't eat all their food anyway and it is wasteful. Please, PLEASE leave your kid with a sitter!

    I am fine with kids in restaurants if they are well behaved. But the minute a kid stands up in THEIR booth and leans over the back of the booth and into my personal space and the parent does nothing about it... oh. It's on. I sat in a restaurant a week ago and watched two little girls bounce in their booth and lean over the back into another diner's personal space. The other diner had to get up, ask the parents to please stop their children from leaning over and bouncing around the booth. And the parent did nothing. I felt so horrible for the diner :( and the parents comment? "Kids will be kids. If you don't like it, go somewhere else." (I'm an eavesdropper) Absolutely frustrating.

    Theres a few restaurants who've plainly said in a notice on their entrance door something along the lines of "customers with crying babies will be asked to leave". The restaurants have a huge list of "offended" people who try to tell them off but at the same time, they have lots of business because people know that you can eat peacefully there.

    Once again, I feel for the parents, I really do. However, you do NOT have a right to ruin my time just because your child decided to be disruptive...

    If there is not a notice on the door stating otherwise, my children have as much of a right to be there as anyone else does. I guarantee we will spend more money there than most of the other patrons will. And I cannot tell you how many times my meals have been ruined by loud, distasteful ADULTS. Have you ever tried asking someone to put away their cell phone or to tone down their language or to maybe find a different subject matter to discuss over dinner? It's just as annoying to dine with obnoxious adults as it is disruptive children. I have more tolerance for children, who are still learning. Adults *should know better*. When I find myself in that situation, I have two choices--deal with it or move on. I would say the same for people who are bothered by my children.

    Children do have a right to be there. They also have the right to act like humans instead of monkeys, stay in your booth, not be screaming and throwing food the entire time, etc. No one said children aren't welcome, but restaurants are restaurants, not playgrounds so if you bring your children to a restaurant they shouldn't be acting like it's a playground.

    I completely agree.

    I have never once told someone to quiet their child but I have given them the look. And as for the conversations are you only offended by them because you have small children around who might hear what they're saying? If that's the case then here's an idea: Don't take your small children to that restaurant any more! Find a place that's more child friendly like Friendly's or Chuck-E-Cheese. I'm sorry but I have never had a meal ruined by someone having a loud and "distasteful" conversation. Loud? Sure but when I go out with a group of people we tend to get loud as well and believe me I have had many conversations that I am positive some people would deem to be "distasteful" but never once has anyone come up to me and asked me to be quiet. And why is it your business to comment on the subject matter any way and who are you to ask someone to talk about a different subject matter?

    There's a huge difference between a child who is screaming, throwing food and banging their feet on the back of the booth or jumping around in the booth and leaning over my shoulder (yes, this has happened before!) and the parent just sits there and smiles and laughs. How is that respectful of ME and the time that I'm spending there? Why is it ok for your child to scream, throw food and stare at me over the seat of the booth and ruin my dinner and my time but it's not ok for people to talk loudly or *gasp* have "distasteful" conversations?

    This is my point. This whole "I-expect-others-to-conform-to-my-expectations-but-I'll-do-whatever-I-want" mentality. You are all concerned about others to being respectful of YOU. I and my children are expected to quietly tolerate loud cursing and hearing all about others' sexual exploits and details of all their dirty laundry and drama while I'm eating (I've had to sit through plenty of that with my kids). Sure you can talk as loudly as you want about whatever you want. But how dare I allow my children become restless or loud or *gasp* act like children in public? It's OK for me to be subjected to dirty looks and judgments and I should pack my children up and leave with them or keep them home to begin with? Um, nope. Sorry, but it's just not going to work that way. I'll discipline my children in my own way, regardless of what strangers think. If the manager does not ask us to leave (which has NEVER happened in my 19 years of taking wee ones to restaurants), we'll stay right where we are. And I will smile at your dirty looks. And if you complain to me, I will remark--with a smile!--"kids will be kids!" And if you loudly remark to your dinner companion about the behavior of my kids, I will just as loudly remark to my children that some adults haven't learned good manners yet, either. :smile:
    No, my children do not climb over booths or throw food or run in restaurants. But no, they do not always sit still and be quiet, either. I do not expect them to. I do not plan to keep us all sequestered until they are adults. And regardless of them being children, I cannot tell you how many times that my children have been more well-behaved than the adults around them.

    Here's another thought...if you don't want to deal with children while you are eating, go to one of those "adults only" restaurants.

    I'm done. Y'all have a lovely day now.
  • IamOnMywayNow
    IamOnMywayNow Posts: 470 Member
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    Well when I was younger before I had kids I used to say that I would NEVER have a kid that screamed and threw tantrums in public........My 5 year old was a great baby and never did this Yay!! I am a perfect mother...........I now have a 2 year old that makes me eat those words almost every time we go to a store or restaurant. And when I am in the middle of shopping I refuse to leave because I dont have time to go back later so everyone gets to listen to my 2 year scream his little head off while I ignore him :)
  • laural007
    laural007 Posts: 251 Member
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    You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.

    +1

    +2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.

    + Whatever number we're on. Then CPS would have been called and his life would have been turned inside out. The problem isn't a lack of discipline in many instances. It's a fear of what hell others can unleash on you.



    Been there, done that with my kid. Did the spanking thing, got reported for child abuse. Yep. That's why you see more and more kids throwing tantrums and acting like idiotic little brats out in public, and parents doing nothing about it. The social system has our hands tied literally. I have been through hell and back as a single mom trying to raise a boy. And let me tell you, as irritating and annoying as it is for the onlookers, it is 10x more embarrassing for the parent when your child acts like that. I refuse to stop what I am doing to cater to him though, he has to learn to behave and I have to do the shopping when I'm there to do it. I don't have the time to leave and come back later. I remember one time I went to walmart with my mom, and she went one way and I went the other. My son decided to throw a tantrum because he wanted out of the cart, and my mom told me later she heard him all the way across the store. Yea, those moments - don't miss them. I wanted to just die on the spot. But I couldn't do anything other than finish my shopping. Of course I sternly told him to stop it, etc etc etc. But like the dad you saw, that's about it. I had to finish my shopping, and I had to keep control of him. But I couldn't spank him, or put him in time out, or anything. Like others said, you can't leave the store or go to a bathroom to discipline them because you never know what busybody with a camera phone is going to record and turn you in. And by the time you get home, the kid forgot all about the incident, so there's not a lot you can do. Of course I talked to him when things were calm, explained how we are supposed to behave, etc. But when push comes to shove and a kid decides they aren't happy about something, their first reaction is a meltdown. Doesn't matter where you are. They don't have the emotional maturity yet to handle their anger and frustration calmer.

    Not all kids are the same either. Some kids will be hellions, some are very good little angels. Some kids respond well to "soft" discipline like time out and it works wonderfully, but others just will not respond to anything other than a good old fashioned spanking. There is no "magic formula" perfect right way to do it.

    Despite what I have been through with CPS, I am still an advocate of corporal discipline when needed. No, I do not think any child should be beat for every little transgression. But when you've exhausted all other means, sometimes they just need a wake up call. I would much rather wrangle my child's bratty attitude today, than deal with a juvenile delinquent who has no respect of me in a few years.

    Mine went through it for several years. He is now 11 and very well behaved in public. He's a sweetheart, has manners, and is very thoughtful and considerate of others. You'd never believe he was that screaming bratty toddler a few years ago. Of course now the preteen attitude is starting to kick in...but, I feel like I've laid my foundation with him - he knows the boundaries, he knows what is and isn't acceptable. He knows I mean what I say, and there will be consequences if he doesn't follow the rules.

    Anyway, give parents a break. If you see one dealing with a screaming toddler, maybe offer to help them. Don't judge them, and don't add to their stress by "reporting" them or giving them dirty judging looks. Be glad they care enough to expect their child to behave in public. And if none of that appeals to you, you can always leave the store.

    Well said. You can do the very best you can raising your child and no matter what they are still going to throw a tantrum, they are children for goodness sake. It sucks for everyone, there is no easy solution. My 6 year old son never has nor never did throw tantrums in stores, however my 4 year old daughter does. I parent them both the same but no two kids are alike so we cant be so quick to judge any parent on how they are raising their children.
  • downinaggieland98
    downinaggieland98 Posts: 224 Member
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    You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.

    Love it.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    OK people. I never suggested they beat a kid until they bled. I DID suggest they spank them though...not necessarily with a belt, but at the very least the palm of their hand. I probably should have not posted at all.

    There you go
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?

    To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.

    rant over.
    Where do I begin?
    You'll never know what it is like to be a parent....until you ARE one. You will have a lot more respect for parents then.
    It's hard work, and you will never meet perfect parents, nor any perfect children. So have respect.
    Discipline is definitely needed at some point in a child's life, in the form of a spanking.
    However, it is not to be done in anger, and it hurts! but does not produce blood!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    OK people. I never suggested they beat a kid until they bled. I DID suggest they spank them though...not necessarily with a belt, but at the very least the palm of their hand. I probably should have not posted at all.

    There you go

    You are quickly becoming my favorite troll!