This site should not be about weight loss bullies !
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I just want to emphasize that the word "bullying" is being thrown around a bit liberally on these message boards. Here are some facts on "cyber bullying" to give you some perspective.
What is considered cyber bullying?
- Sending mean messages or threats to a person's email account or cell phone
- Spreading rumors online or through texts
- Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages
- Stealing a person's account information to break into their account and send damaging messages
- Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person
- Taking unflattering pictures of a person and spreading them through cell phones or the Internet
- Sexting, or circulating sexually suggestive pictures or messages about a person
What happens on these forums? Not bullying. Discussion, disagreement, sarcasm, debate, snark, rudeness, hilarity etc... all of these things happen here. Bullying? Not so much. Consider that by throwing the term around loosely as people are wont to do around here, we may actually take away from the seriousness of actual bullying.0 -
I'd also like to bounce off of what WinnerVictorious and BondBomb both said (amazing points) and reference some things already said in this thread:
Yes, you want people to support you; it's often established in these threads that people look for different support.
With that being said, you have to understand what "support" means; if you're looking for someone to agree with you, then you're looking for "support of your opinion," not "support of your journey." If you want someone to support you in health, fitness, or weight loss (i'm assuming, healthy), people ARE supporting you by pointing out dangers of a dangerous path.
I immediately joined a community that was for ED recovery (which, from what I've heard, has actually been deleted for whatever reason); people were sure "supporting" each other in their recovery... by still passing info on how to curb hunger, limit calories to under 500, disguise weight loss, posting unhealthy weight goals, etc. Sitting there with an elephant in the room isn't being "supportive"; sitting silently while someone starves themself to death, or eats themself to death, or drinks themself to death, etc. etc. etc... saying, "Good job!" and smiling isn't supporting their ultimate health and well-being. It's just supporting their ignorance or their denial.
I think the word "support" could use some clearer defining on these boards.
The information could just as easily be given in a polite and gentle fashion. If someone is feeling impatient with a poster, then maybe they should just skip commenting and let a more sanguine person (who may be just as knowledgeable) comment.
Polite and gentle are subjective terms.
I think most of us figured out what constitutes civility---in early childhood. And I think most of us would agree on what comprises it.
Based on the number of "bullying" threads, and the number of people defending the alleged bullying, I respectfully disagree. People have very different levels of sensitivity. One person's common sense is another's attack.0 -
^This.
It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.
i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.
take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.
i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.
now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.
:flowerforyou:
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there is nothing I can add to this.^This.
It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.
i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.
take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.
i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.
now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.0 -
I would just like to point out here that this thread has now lasted longer than a simple thread that was created with the sole purpose of wishing someone a happy birthday.
Sorry, who are the bullies and who's being bullied again?0 -
I just want to emphasize that the word "bullying" is being thrown around a bit liberally on these message boards. Here are some facts on "cyber bullying" to give you some perspective.
What is considered cyber bullying?
- Sending mean messages or threats to a person's email account or cell phone
- Spreading rumors online or through texts
- Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages
- Stealing a person's account information to break into their account and send damaging messages
- Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person
- Taking unflattering pictures of a person and spreading them through cell phones or the Internet
- Sexting, or circulating sexually suggestive pictures or messages about a person
What happens on these forums? Not bullying. Discussion, disagreement, sarcasm, debate, snark, rudeness, hilarity etc... all of these things happen here. Bullying? Not so much. Consider that by throwing the term around loosely as people are wont to do around here, we may actually take away from the seriousness of actual bullying.
This^^^^0 -
The other thing is, people recognize that there are a lot of people on here, with little to no education on diet/fitness that read these threads without commenting. So even if the OP is dead set on doing something unhealthy, they will try and give all the reasons why it's a bad idea anyway. The goal is to keep a bunch of people from making the same mistakes, because everyone was saying GREAT IDEA! just to be supportive.
Personally, I'm thankful for the ones on here that call people out on there BS. I stalk them like I'm trying to throw them in my basement and make them put the lotion on the skin. Why? Because I've made enough mistakes. Now I'm trying to find the smartest way to get from point A to point B, not the fastest or easiest.0 -
Some a-holes posted on the first post I made, and it pissed me off. I blocked their *kitten*...but after that, i realized I didn't really care, and if someone posts something I don't like in response to something I posted, it doesn't bother me anymore.0
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You. I like you. I like you a lot.^This.
It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.
i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.
take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.
i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.
now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.
Thank you, good sir. You hit the nail on the head.
:drinker:0 -
What's wrong with pointing out that HCG is going to ruin your health?0
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All of this DOES indeed happen here.What is considered cyber bullying?
- Sending mean messages or threats to a person's email account
- Spreading rumors online
- Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages
- Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person0 -
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I could be considered a newbie because I was here before and recently came back. I have seen so many posts asking the same old **** just in the short time since I've been back, no wonder the "old timers" get snarky. If new people would just read the **** ton of threads that already exist instead of re-creating the same thing over and over again, there may be less irritation and sarcasm. Frankly, if you can't handle the advice or opinions of others, get off the internet...or don't post in a public forum where people can tell you their opinions.0
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All of this DOES indeed happen here.What is considered cyber bullying?
- Sending mean messages or threats to a person's email account
- Spreading rumors online
- Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages
- Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person
The sad part is that often those things are done by people who proclaim to be the "nice" folks on here.0 -
I agree the word "bullying" is not the right word here... but I still see no need for rudeness, snarkiness, no it all attitude when someone is asking for help... there is a nice way to say things and a not so nice way.... and why do people post just a snarky comment only and not offer any helpful advice?? If you cannot offer a comment on the actual topic the OP was questioning, just don't answer at all.0
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Thanks guys for all the support. Still makes me laugh that people can respond to this thread in a negative way or ask that it be taken down. Lets learn to be positive and treat others with respect. Again I'm here for positive support so lets focus on that.0
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Hi, I'm new to MFP. I agree with you,Puijj, this is why I joined MFP as well. I want to hold myself accountable and keep track of my progress. I hope to find buddies not bullies to support and encourage me in order to reach my fitness and health goals, especially when I am heading on a downward spiral or failing to stick with my plan and need a push to get me back on track to success. I'm sure I will find some positive people here with mutual goals and I'll just try to steer clear of the ones that aren't honestly trying to be helpful. Wishing you and everyone on MFP the best in reaching their transformation goals. Wish me luck and determination.0
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seriously ? These are my feelings so if you dont agree feel free to not comment. Thanks.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I suggest you actually research HCG and see how BAD it is for you. Sorry if I hurt your feelings.0 -
seriously ? These are my feelings so if you dont agree feel free to not comment. Thanks.
You should avoid posting on public forums if you can't deal with people disagreeing with you.0
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