This site should not be about weight loss bullies !
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I would love to be friends with all of you. I was bullied a lot here too.
you do know why they bully right?
Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success.
And jealousy. Yes I"ve seen you being bullied on your "SUCCESS" thread post. That was unbelievable and I did defend you several times on there. People posting saying posts like yours made them crazy. Well if it makes you crazy don't read it. Simple as that. No need to be rude about it. It was YOUR success story and not about them and what they thought or what they were doing.0 -
The butt hurt is strong with this thread
QFT0 -
I know what you mean. I was on Calorie Count and I got so tired of people saying I wasn't eating enough. I was eating healthy and I needed to lose a lot of weight. I knew I had to get serious. I lost 100 pounds but I still have another 100 to get off. So I'm starting off fresh with MFP and doing what I know that works. Good luck to us both0
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No. It doesn't.Does rude = Bullying now??
I would go with rude for many of the comments. Good word choice.0 -
Fair.
But when does rude become a personal attack?0 -
I read these pathetic threads, wherein people lament being bullied ... on a website of which they freely choose to be a member ... and wherein they willfully document quite personal things about themselves, like their diet and exercise habits ... and I have to ask, why do you think you are entitled to live every day of your life free of people whose thoughts, opinions, and perceptions may be very different from yours? And, given that you choose to open up this part of your life to anyone with Internet access and time to waste, why are you so freaking astonished by the discovery that not everyone agrees with you?
Rudeness is in the eye of the beholder. But if someone comes onto the Internet seeking advice, empathy, commiseration, whatever, then that person does not get to categorize every response they don't like as a personal attack. All of you people talking about being "bullied" sound like children.0 -
why do you think you are entitled to live every day of your life free of people whose thoughts, opinions, and perceptions may be very different from yours?
I doubt anyone does. I think you've grabbed the wrong end of the stick.
Disagreeing with someone != bullying
Repeated personal attacks = bullying0 -
bullying present participle of bul·ly
Verb
Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants
I don't think a stranger on the internet can FORCE you to do anything. Bullying is such an overused term here.
Weird, since "cyber bullying" is actually a real concept and a huge problem.
I agree that cyber bullying is a real problem. Cyber bullying is not saying " I don't think HCG is a good diet for you, since it can ruin your health." If someone made a hate website, sent you nasty messages, called you names, and made your real life miserable, THAT would be cyber bullying. This is a forum, people will disagree and voice their opinions.
Also, has anyone noticed that the people advocating normal, healthy diets have reached their goals, whereas people who advocate HCG, juicing, etc have not? Just something to think about.
I do not even know what HCG is. I do not think that was the point either. People can express their concerns and suggestions in a healthy way. I have seen name calling and belittleing on this site and that is simply unacceptable.
I'm a nut for engaging in this, but I just can't help but point out the part in bold.
This poster doesn't even know what kind of diet the OP is on, but he feels she should be supported in her choice.
HCG is illegal in the U.S. because it's very dangerous. You eat only 500 calories a day and inject yourself with hormones. Since it's banned in the United States she's likely getting prescription medicine from overseas. And not from any reputable company either.
Still support her choice?
THIS is the best possible example to illustrate how "You're doing great! Whatever you choose to do is right for you!" is a bad and downright dangerous stance to take. You're "supporting" people into doing themselves harm.
WTG!
Nope. I never said I support her. I do not think discouraging someone from doing something dangerous is what the original poster had an issue with. So whether HCG is safe or not is not the point here. It is the manner in which people go about addressing it. I don't appreciate you focusing on one line and then making up everything you think it means. If something is dangerous then point out it is dangerous, offer support, offer alternatives, etc. There would be no reason or excuse good enough to belittle, shame, attack, etc. someone else on here. That was my point. Stop being so narrow minded.0 -
That was not the point.Disagreement is not bullying.0 -
ITA. Seriously. I cannot imagine some of these people acting this way offline. It is bullying behavior pure & simple. Just one small example: a newbie asked a question about calf exercises, and someone posted sarcastically that calves were in the meadow. Of course several regulars had to say how clever that was (it was????). I'm sure the newbie made the unforgiveaqble mistake of using the word "toning" thus opening him or her up to obscene ridicule by the forum regs who claim they are sick to death of answering the same questions although no one's forcing them to do it. They just need to step on someone to feel good about themselves. There are worst example of bullying here, but that one stuck in my mind as it was very similar to a sarcastic response my middle schooler had heard the week before. At middle school.
Oh and then there are the constant posts about women just being jealous of each other. Sexism is alive and well here. Racism would never be tolerated (and it should never be!), but it's OK to rip women apart.
That's not bullying. It's called a joke. It wasn't at the person's expense, it was wordplay.
All you people who mistake humor, or even sarcasm, with the "use of force and coercion to bully and intimidate others" must live in a very pleasant world. Really. When I was getting chairs pulled out from under me, cornered in hallways and berated for sticking my neck out for quieter kids, and consistently called "ugly," "horseface" and given carrots when I walked in a room, I could have gone for a joke that wasn't about *me*, but was about a funny coincidence of words. Goddamn Shakespeare used wordplay similar to the one you commented on; and that's really considered bullying by you?
And the people who "rip" apart women are generally not the same people making the clever wordplay.
Who are these "they" and "them"? It seems like anyone that disagrees with someone, or makes a joke they don't get, or just grinds their gears, becomes part of this inexplicable other of "bullies."
That's. Not. Bullying.
This thread comes up all the time, yes. Does that mean there's a problem? Maybe, but not of "bullying."
I think I love you (not in the e-stalker way...jokingly)0 -
I started on this site over a year ago and found that it was hard to stay on here, while I was looking for support I actually found a lot of negativity. I was orginally on the hcg diet and actually found a lot of success on it and don't regret it at all. What i did regret was sharing it with the people on this site. I got hateful post on my threads , emails, ect.. I was shocked. It's very rare that you find that a place were you can be honest about your weight and your struggles and find like minded people who share the same experience. So after taking a break I've decided to try again because charting my food and seeing my weight loss post each day was motivational. I also really loved the support I gave and recieved from the positive people on this site. So if your looking for a positive person to help you be motivated then add me and hopefully we can help each other.
When I first joined in 2010, the threads didn't used to be that way...and they seemed to center more on weight loss help, exercise, etc. Now, like you, I find much less respectful posts and a lot more "fluff" on threads that, for me at least, doesn't help my weight loss. I stay off of them for the most part unless I need something or feel like I can contribute significantly in some way
But, all of my "friends" on here have been wonderfully supportive! 0 -
Yup- I saw that too- I'm a newbie too and I've actually had to use the 'ignore' a feature on those people who think their sarcastic comments are "funny". They seem very full of themselves.0
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why do you think you are entitled to live every day of your life free of people whose thoughts, opinions, and perceptions may be very different from yours?
I doubt anyone does. I think you've grabbed the wrong end of the stick.
Disagreeing with someone != bullying
Repeated personal attacks = bullying
How are you being personally attacked just because someone says your diet is crap?
If someone were to harass someone else all day long with messages about how fat and ugly and worthless they are, or posting the same stuff on all their threads, that's bullying, but that can also be dealt with by blocking the sender, reporting them to the moderators, etc.
Telling someone that they are being foolish for trying to lose weight on HCG? That's called honesty where I come from.0 -
To put things in a bigger perspective, let us not forget for a minute that being fat is the last stigma left in our society. Athletes cheat, celebrities cheat, politicians lie, business moguls steal from their investors or dodge taxes, etc, but that is okay. But being overweight is the one thing left that folks think is shameful, so they feel free to correct, coerce, criticize and judge...even if they are fat too!! So sometimes the folks you meet on MFP sometimes run with that herd. ll of us fighting our way to healthier lives should NEVER judge, critique or diss each other!0
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Life is too short to be surrounded by idiots, ignore the haters and use their comments to spur you on and prove them wrong.0
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A bully is a bully is a bully....whether on here or in person. I've been here for a few months and had nothing but great support and motivation. Just to remember, people are people and they will voice their opinions, etc...whether you ask for them or not.0
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I would also note that this site used to be more helpful when it was full of people who knew WTF they were talking about. Now, many of those people have been branded bullies and banned or otherwise run off, so what you have left is a constant stream of new people who come here with big dreams of being able to starve themselves. And they get their feelings hurt when they are told their approach is not going to work. It makes no difference to me if you lose 30 lbs on HCG, gain it back, and make the inexplicable decision to do HCG again. But if you're going to post a thread asking what people think about it, don't get your panties in a twist because I tell you I think it's stupid.0
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Back away from the computer. Get up, go outside and enjoy life. It's just the Internet.. a place where people can say what they want, do what they want to whoever they want with very minimal repercussions (maybe this will change soon - I hope so). Don't stress about bullies and take what they say personally. Most likely they are just people who were bullied themselves, believe they are an interwebz god or just don't have much hobbies other then picking on people through a keyboard and a screen.0
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^^^ Most of the people that are labeled bullies on here are extremely successful with losses that are absolutely amazing. Some with over 100 pounds lost in a healthy, safe way. But yet when they tell people how it is, they are bullying. Obviously they have no idea how to really do it, right?:grumble: Bring my friends and favorite users back. This place is getting pretty annoying with all the, poor me, I have been so bullied, people don't agree with me so they are haters and meanies.Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success.
That rubs me the wrong way. Most of those people who 'bully' (I dont think they do btw) Have been quite successful...0 -
That's sad! If you're trying to improve yourself, NOBODY has the right to go negative on you. The only advice I can give is to ditch those "friends" and replace them with real friends...that support you and give "advice" only if you request it. I haven't had any negative feedback, so far, and am confident that my friends will only stick by me. I truly wish you and others out there only the best...you deserve it.0
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Ugh, I know I've made my point but this thread is such a trainwreck I can't look away.
Disagreeing is not bullying. ITS THE INTERNET. I've never seen anyone actually get bullied on MFP, just disagreed with. And while people may think others are "harsh" its just words on a screen, you can't tell that person's tone or intention.
All the so-called "bullies" are people who have successfully lost weight and want to help others do it as well, in a healthy way. There are a million ways to lose weight but only a few healthy ways.
But whatever, you can snort coke and lose weight. Do as you please.0 -
Nope. I never said I support her. I do not think discouraging someone from doing something dangerous is what the original poster had an issue with. So whether HCG is safe or not is not the point here. It is the manner in which people go about addressing it. I don't appreciate you focusing on one line and then making up everything you think it means. If something is dangerous then point out it is dangerous, offer support, offer alternatives, etc. There would be no reason or excuse good enough to belittle, shame, attack, etc. someone else on here. That was my point. Stop being so narrow minded.
Do I even need to say anything?0 -
I just had this happen to me....when asking for some support/motivation to not go out drinking I was accused of "having a problem"
NOT COOL0 -
it isn't being a bully to disagree with someone. it can sometimes be stated badly or rudely, but most people here genuinely want to help others...and if they see that someone is doing something counter-productive or downright dangerous, they aren't shy about saying so. Supporting unhealthy behavior isn't being supportive, its enabling. I agree that maybe there are a few who take a little too much glee in being corrective though.
I've been in health care for 28 years. The HCG diet is the scariest one I've seen come through. I'm sorry you ran into bullies, but I have to agree that being supportive of someone who is doing something dangerous is encouraging the health risks. Most people don't do it to be mean, but they do it because of how serious of a health risk you are taking and that you are sharing with people who are here to find education about health and receiving such poor advice such as HCG diets, etc.
this!0 -
MyFitnessPal's goal for our community is to be a fun and friendly place for everyone, whether you are new to the site and just learning the tools or a veteran of the site who is a shining example of success. For this reason we have our community guidelines that we respectfully request all of our members follow.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines
Of particular relevance to this topic:
Thank you for listening. :-)1. No Attacks or Insults and No Reciprocation
Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the user’s spelling or command of written English, or belittling a user for posting a duplicate topic.
b) If you are attacked by another user, and you reciprocate, you will also be subject to the same consequences. Defending yourself or a friend is not an excuse! Do not take matters into your own hands – instead, use the Report Post link to report an attack and we will be happy to handle the situation for you.
Respectfully,
Olivia
MFP Community Manager0 -
I'm all for positive reinforcement!0
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If you can only handle positive, sugary, reinforcement, life must be really hard for you.....0
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So you got negativity from people cause you lost weight? Were they jealous? I don't understand why anyone would insult someone else cause they have been losing weight. Yeah, I have a friend like that. If I did something bad, like go out and drinking and gain a bit of weight, she would say something to me like on my facebook and be rude about it. But if I lost weight and did something postive for myself, she won't say anything at all. I almost felt like she was in competition with me sometimes.0
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aww that's so horrible people gave you a hard time!! Feel free to add me I'm pretty positive 0
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The guideline seems spot on to me.
So if people have been banned they obviously didn't obey the rules as the moderator would have compared what they wrote to said rules. If the person didn't get banned that you reported after a mod investigated then you are being too touchy.0
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