This site should not be about weight loss bullies !

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Replies

  • schaapj2
    schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
    I started on this site over a year ago and found that it was hard to stay on here, while I was looking for support I actually found a lot of negativity. I was orginally on the hcg diet and actually found a lot of success on it and don't regret it at all. What i did regret was sharing it with the people on this site. I got hateful post on my threads , emails, ect.. I was shocked. It's very rare that you find that a place were you can be honest about your weight and your struggles and find like minded people who share the same experience. So after taking a break I've decided to try again because charting my food and seeing my weight loss post each day was motivational. I also really loved the support I gave and recieved from the positive people on this site. So if your looking for a positive person to help you be motivated then add me and hopefully we can help each other.

    When I first joined in 2010, the threads didn't used to be that way...and they seemed to center more on weight loss help, exercise, etc. Now, like you, I find much less respectful posts and a lot more "fluff" on threads that, for me at least, doesn't help my weight loss. I stay off of them for the most part unless I need something or feel like I can contribute significantly in some way :) But, all of my "friends" on here have been wonderfully supportive!
  • Chameleongal
    Chameleongal Posts: 34
    Yup- I saw that too- I'm a newbie too and I've actually had to use the 'ignore' a feature on those people who think their sarcastic comments are "funny". They seem very full of themselves.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
    why do you think you are entitled to live every day of your life free of people whose thoughts, opinions, and perceptions may be very different from yours?



    I doubt anyone does. I think you've grabbed the wrong end of the stick.

    Disagreeing with someone != bullying

    Repeated personal attacks = bullying

    How are you being personally attacked just because someone says your diet is crap?

    If someone were to harass someone else all day long with messages about how fat and ugly and worthless they are, or posting the same stuff on all their threads, that's bullying, but that can also be dealt with by blocking the sender, reporting them to the moderators, etc.

    Telling someone that they are being foolish for trying to lose weight on HCG? That's called honesty where I come from.
  • pmar6757
    pmar6757 Posts: 14
    To put things in a bigger perspective, let us not forget for a minute that being fat is the last stigma left in our society. Athletes cheat, celebrities cheat, politicians lie, business moguls steal from their investors or dodge taxes, etc, but that is okay. But being overweight is the one thing left that folks think is shameful, so they feel free to correct, coerce, criticize and judge...even if they are fat too!! So sometimes the folks you meet on MFP sometimes run with that herd. ll of us fighting our way to healthier lives should NEVER judge, critique or diss each other!
  • Poorgirls_Diet
    Poorgirls_Diet Posts: 528 Member
    Life is too short to be surrounded by idiots, ignore the haters and use their comments to spur you on and prove them wrong.
  • yowza101
    yowza101 Posts: 196 Member
    A bully is a bully is a bully....whether on here or in person. I've been here for a few months and had nothing but great support and motivation. Just to remember, people are people and they will voice their opinions, etc...whether you ask for them or not.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
    I would also note that this site used to be more helpful when it was full of people who knew WTF they were talking about. Now, many of those people have been branded bullies and banned or otherwise run off, so what you have left is a constant stream of new people who come here with big dreams of being able to starve themselves. And they get their feelings hurt when they are told their approach is not going to work. It makes no difference to me if you lose 30 lbs on HCG, gain it back, and make the inexplicable decision to do HCG again. But if you're going to post a thread asking what people think about it, don't get your panties in a twist because I tell you I think it's stupid.
  • samantha1242
    samantha1242 Posts: 816 Member
    Back away from the computer. Get up, go outside and enjoy life. It's just the Internet.. a place where people can say what they want, do what they want to whoever they want with very minimal repercussions (maybe this will change soon - I hope so). Don't stress about bullies and take what they say personally. Most likely they are just people who were bullied themselves, believe they are an interwebz god or just don't have much hobbies other then picking on people through a keyboard and a screen.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success.:tongue:

    That rubs me the wrong way. Most of those people who 'bully' (I dont think they do btw) Have been quite successful...
    ^^^ Most of the people that are labeled bullies on here are extremely successful with losses that are absolutely amazing. Some with over 100 pounds lost in a healthy, safe way. But yet when they tell people how it is, they are bullying. Obviously they have no idea how to really do it, right?:grumble: Bring my friends and favorite users back. This place is getting pretty annoying with all the, poor me, I have been so bullied, people don't agree with me so they are haters and meanies.
  • dutchman24
    dutchman24 Posts: 108 Member
    That's sad! If you're trying to improve yourself, NOBODY has the right to go negative on you. The only advice I can give is to ditch those "friends" and replace them with real friends...that support you and give "advice" only if you request it. I haven't had any negative feedback, so far, and am confident that my friends will only stick by me. I truly wish you and others out there only the best...you deserve it.
  • osualex
    osualex Posts: 409 Member
    Ugh, I know I've made my point but this thread is such a trainwreck I can't look away.

    Disagreeing is not bullying. ITS THE INTERNET. I've never seen anyone actually get bullied on MFP, just disagreed with. And while people may think others are "harsh" its just words on a screen, you can't tell that person's tone or intention.

    All the so-called "bullies" are people who have successfully lost weight and want to help others do it as well, in a healthy way. There are a million ways to lose weight but only a few healthy ways.

    But whatever, you can snort coke and lose weight. Do as you please.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
    Nope. I never said I support her. I do not think discouraging someone from doing something dangerous is what the original poster had an issue with. So whether HCG is safe or not is not the point here. It is the manner in which people go about addressing it. I don't appreciate you focusing on one line and then making up everything you think it means. If something is dangerous then point out it is dangerous, offer support, offer alternatives, etc. There would be no reason or excuse good enough to belittle, shame, attack, etc. someone else on here. That was my point. Stop being so narrow minded.

    Do I even need to say anything?
  • nicosuave2013
    nicosuave2013 Posts: 42 Member
    I just had this happen to me....when asking for some support/motivation to not go out drinking I was accused of "having a problem"

    NOT COOL
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    it isn't being a bully to disagree with someone. it can sometimes be stated badly or rudely, but most people here genuinely want to help others...and if they see that someone is doing something counter-productive or downright dangerous, they aren't shy about saying so. Supporting unhealthy behavior isn't being supportive, its enabling. I agree that maybe there are a few who take a little too much glee in being corrective though.

    I've been in health care for 28 years. The HCG diet is the scariest one I've seen come through. I'm sorry you ran into bullies, but I have to agree that being supportive of someone who is doing something dangerous is encouraging the health risks. Most people don't do it to be mean, but they do it because of how serious of a health risk you are taking and that you are sharing with people who are here to find education about health and receiving such poor advice such as HCG diets, etc.


    this!
  • Alex
    Alex Posts: 10,145 MFP Staff
    MyFitnessPal's goal for our community is to be a fun and friendly place for everyone, whether you are new to the site and just learning the tools or a veteran of the site who is a shining example of success. For this reason we have our community guidelines that we respectfully request all of our members follow.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines

    Of particular relevance to this topic:
    1. No Attacks or Insults and No Reciprocation
    Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the user’s spelling or command of written English, or belittling a user for posting a duplicate topic.
    b) If you are attacked by another user, and you reciprocate, you will also be subject to the same consequences. Defending yourself or a friend is not an excuse! Do not take matters into your own hands – instead, use the Report Post link to report an attack and we will be happy to handle the situation for you.
    Thank you for listening. :-)

    Respectfully,
    Olivia
    MFP Community Manager
  • marielaem
    marielaem Posts: 202 Member
    I'm all for positive reinforcement!
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
    If you can only handle positive, sugary, reinforcement, life must be really hard for you.....
  • coderedjulia
    coderedjulia Posts: 43
    So you got negativity from people cause you lost weight? Were they jealous? I don't understand why anyone would insult someone else cause they have been losing weight. Yeah, I have a friend like that. If I did something bad, like go out and drinking and gain a bit of weight, she would say something to me like on my facebook and be rude about it. But if I lost weight and did something postive for myself, she won't say anything at all. I almost felt like she was in competition with me sometimes.
  • rachelelizabeth88
    rachelelizabeth88 Posts: 73 Member
    aww that's so horrible people gave you a hard time!! Feel free to add me :) I'm pretty positive :)
  • HardRockCamaro
    HardRockCamaro Posts: 147
    The guideline seems spot on to me.

    So if people have been banned they obviously didn't obey the rules as the moderator would have compared what they wrote to said rules. If the person didn't get banned that you reported after a mod investigated then you are being too touchy.

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