it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?

Lack of empathy on this thread by men towards men who can't cook is intense. Just cause someone doesn't know howto cook doesn't make them a drooling buffoon. When I was younger I use to be surprised by men who couldn't open their car and not only know what is wrong with it but also if they can administer the repairs on the spot or if they need bigger toys to fix it that another friend or only a mechanic has, but I came to realise not everyone is given the same skill set.

Somehow I can cook even though no one taught me, just through messing around in the kitchen. One of my best friends holds a doctorate in chemistry and can explain to me every reaction happening in the kitchen while I cook, this man started a fire in our apartment while trying to boil spaghetti.

Henry Ford couldn't cook and poked fun about himself constantly cause he mastered combustion but can't control a small fire under a pan.

My husband has several degrees, smartest person I have ever known...yet he can't cook lol!

im a stay at home mum with 4 kids, my husband gets up at 4 in the morning and i often dont see him till 6 at night, this is 5 days a week, so why should i expect him to start cooking after working so hard all day? also he is a vegetarian has been for 25 years long before i met him, the rest of us aren't why should he have to eat meat just so i only have to cook one meal?
i usually have to cook 3 seperate meals or at least 3 variations of the same meal, my husbands is just usually a veggie version of whatever i'm having, the 2 oldest usually have the same as me, the youngest who is 2 wont eat spicy food and i really dont see the point in pushing her into it, and my youngest boy who is 5 has a phobia of fruit and vegetables we have had him to numerous doctors, dieticians, etc but the fact remains if he gets even a small part of fruit or vegetables near his mouth he is physically sick, but he will grow out of it eventually why should i make every meal traumatic for him just to save myself time?

i would also just like to add that my husband does the washing up, and on his days off he likes nothing better than taking over the kitchen and making us lovely meals, and when our roles were reversed and i went to work (decided i needed a break from just being mum but still needed someone at home 24/7) he stayed at home with the kids he did all the cooking

im a stay at home mum with 4 kids, my husband gets up at 4 in the morning and i often dont see him till 6 at night, this is 5 days a week, so why should i expect him to start cooking after working so hard all day? also he is a vegetarian has been for 25 years long before i met him, the rest of us aren't why should he have to eat meat just so i only have to cook one meal?
i usually have to cook 3 seperate meals or at least 3 variations of the same meal, my husbands is just usually a veggie version of whatever i'm having, the 2 oldest usually have the same as me, the youngest who is 2 wont eat spicy food and i really dont see the point in pushing her into it, and my youngest boy who is 5 has a phobia of fruit and vegetables we have had him to numerous doctors, dieticians, etc but the fact remains if he gets even a small part of fruit or vegetables near his mouth he is physically sick, but he will grow out of it eventually why should i make every meal traumatic for him just to save myself time?

i would also just like to add that my husband does the washing up, and on his days off he likes nothing better than taking over the kitchen and making us lovely meals, and when our roles were reversed and i went to work (decided i needed a break from just being mum but still needed someone at home 24/7) he stayed at home with the kids he did all the cooking

You are the type of woman I have lot's of respect for. Your husband chose wisely.

thank you x

the OP would REALLY have a fit if she knew I not only cook my man a seperate meal, I run his bathwater and lotion his body when he gets out.....

the OP would REALLY have a fit if she knew I not only cook my man a seperate meal, I run his bathwater and lotion his body when he gets out.....

:laugh: I do this too! And he says "You're making me spoiled" and I tell him he deserves it hehe ❤

My fiance is a chef. He cooks for 10 hours a day 5 - 6 days a week. I do not expect him to come home and cook for me as well.

He likes my cooking, I like to cook.

I do occasionally make separate parts of our meal for him, i.e. we may both have steak, but he will have chips. and I'll have new potatoes, because he is a 6"4 man and needs a lot more calories than me.

I don't see that there's anything wrong with any of the above.

To each his own but I personally could *not* play mother to a man-baby who doesn't even know how to switch a washing machine on or cook a basic meal... My father is a great example of this ._. .. I would just find it difficult to be sexually attracted to someone who can't or refuses to care for themself, and I would find it difficult to look in the mirror at a woman who let's that kind of thing happen. But it works for some people *shrug* just definitely not something I would be interested in.

It kind of irks me actually when people say I'm "lucky" to have a boyfriend who actually cooks, cleans, and shares responsibilities with me. It baffles me. It also makes me kind of sad when I hear women squawking about how amazing their husband is because they did the washing up and hoovered round the house because they were ill. How "kind" of them xD.


Heh. As I say, it works for some people and it's ultimately their decision and not mine to judge. (But you kind of forfeit the right to have a moan about how lazy your husband is when right from the off you gave the green light and said "hey, this works!".)

I don't think any of us has said that we "baby" our husbands. My hubby is quite capable of doing for himself...in fact he had to for several months while I was still living in the states waiting for my spouse visa to live in England. He can cook (quite well), he cleans up after himself, he can do laundry, mow the lawn, climb on a ladder to do the upstairs windows outside, change the oil and do basic car repair, unclog a drain, make minor household repairs, kill spiders (ok maybe not that one lol). Those things at the end...I can't do, does that mean he babies me and "fathers" me because I expect him to do them because I can't??? No. My husband also commutes 45 minutes each way every day and works 8+ hours in a salt mine. I think I can cook him a meal that he enjoys every day. And don't be shocked...but if on the weekends, he's sitting down watching a game or something...relaxing....I'll bring him his food or a beer. BUT, he also does the same for me at the end of the day....he'll bring me a glass of wine or a cup of tea and a cuddle. AND he ALWAYS says thank you for EVERY meal I cook and any house work I do during the day. Marriage is a partnership...not anything less. You do FOR EACH OTHER....and yeah, occasionally you may moan, but who doesn't moan about life at times?

Yeah this definitely does not apply to me! My husband does the majority of the cooking and also does 50% of the cleaning. He also gives the kids baths every night so that I can have some quiet time for myself. Oh, and hes in the military on top of all that! I love that he's not like a lot of other Soldiers that we know and comes home, plays video games for 5 hours and won't help with the kids or around the house. Yep, I'm spoiled and I LOVE it!

This is the kind of family I was raised in, my father served time (and so did my mother before she left to have my older brother) and because of it cleaning and cooking duties are practically regimented. Every Friday we work out whose getting home when (ie I'm generally off Monday and Tuesdays thus leaving me free to cook) and we cook one meal for the whole family by whom ever is there and is left to be heated up by the late comers (I work till 7pm most nights and my parents, now having left the army, sometimes have late running meetings).

All of my siblings and I were trained to cook and clean at a young age and we all ate the same meal it was none of 'what do you want to eat, tonight sweet?' rubbish I see parents ask- children are not responsible enough to make decisions on meals! When I was growing up I ate the same things as my parents thus to encourage proper eating from the start, my first time eating a 'potato face' was at a friends- I remember feeling completely confused over what to do with it! Some people reel in shock when I say that I and my siblings managed to cook up full roast dinners by the time I was 12, but I had learnt to cook pasta and simple things before hand.

Coming to the father side of it- my Dad cooks as well as my mother- at the moment he's going crazy over making risotto! He enjoys cooking, he likes sitting down and saying 'yes, Fran, this is only 350 calories and Tegan I did use that new pan it was great etc.'

It comes down to different people though- some people are over controlling in the kitchen! Can't bare the idea that someone else is in there whilst others are more then happy to lay back and let other people do the work.

My boyfriend cooks 80% of our meals..he comes from a family of chefs and really enjoys it...
I am a vegetarian and he is big into meat so he cooks different dinners for me every time..
It doesn't bother him at all..I pick up a bit more slack with the cleaning..

Whatever works for you...

My boyfriend does not what to eat my "healthy" food and I do not want to eat hamburger helper and pizza every day.....so we came up with this great new plan.....I make my own dinner and he makes his. It's crazy but it works.

It also helps that we work almost opposite schedules so we're rarely eating "dinner" at the same time anyways.

My fiance is a great cook but because he gets home later than I do we mostly have an arrangement where I cook then he washes the pots up afterwards. Wprks for us and is pretty darn fair.

My only question is.....wheres my sammich??????

As of yesterday we have been married for 46 years and my husband has never cooked a meal. His Mother spoiled him and I still am after 46 years it's too late to train him to cook. lol

Yep, stay at home mom here. I will make my husband a good meal because that is what he wants and that is my job. Glad you aren't aiming this at everyone. :bigsmile:

My only question is.....wheres my sammich??????

This will suffice....