it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?

My wife only sees the kitchen when she comes in the house through the garage. I do all the cooking. Always have.

Didn't read the whole thread...so don't know if this has been said...

"Just break up with him."

My wife does maybe 75% of the cooking. When we were first married I did about 90% of the cooking but I was home a good hour before my wife everyday from work so I started dinner when I got home.

That was when she had an hour commute to work. Now she has a 4 minute drive to work FLANKED BY APPLE ORCHARDS AND THE APPLE BLOSSOMS while I have the crappy commute.

The original deal was if you cooked, you didn't do dishes. Somehow I am the one who does dishes even when I cook now. I always change the catbox. My wife cleans the bathrooms. I put out the trash and do 90% of the snow removal and she does 80% of the laundry, however, I generally gather up all the laundry and carry it down the stairs so we can sort the laundry.

It's all about a division of labor that we sat down and discussed. I totally got screwed over the dishes though :sad:

I agree with you from a personal standpoint, about my life and my relationship goals.

I don't agree with starting threads just to judge other people's relationships. I think everyone can make their own choices about who does what in relationships. Judging gender roles for others based on your own preconceived notions is wrong.

this

What is your point?

Is there some epidemic out there where women are now being required to cook separate meals for everyone?

Do people really pay that much attention to what happens in other people's houses? I don't usually have enough time to track everything that happens in my house!

Is it a huge issue that families are eating a bunch of separate meals? I guess, whatever works in a family. There are going to be reasons in some houses why more than one meal needs to be prepared.

Sounds like some man-hating feminist bullshyt to me.

I do the cooking in our house. I do not equate that to "mothering" my husband and neither does he.

:noway:

Since starting this weight loss journey, I have started to cook for both my husband and daughter then a meal for me. It really has never bothered me. Why? Because my husband works waaay harder then I ever will have to, he's a picky eater and he's old enough not have to be bullied in to a meal. Do I feel degraded because I make two meals....NO. Because if I wasn't on this journey than I'd be eating the same food that they are. It was MY choice to do this. They don't want to eat chicken and veggies every day. Heck I don't want to eat chicken and veggies ever day. But I do.

He can cook. He sometimes cooks me dinner if I ask him to, but if I was in a hot attic for 12 hours in the middle of summer I wouldn't want to come home and cook for a wife who had been at home doing (nothing, compared to what he does) all day.

I find joy in cooking for my family and seeing them enjoy it.

:shrug: different people are brought up with different family dynamics. And not every woman does it because she's supposed to be subservient to her husband. Maybe they just adore their husbands and want to make them happy, and they do that by cooking meals that their husbands like. Maybe that's their love language. Hopefully the husbands appreciate it and express that, or do other things to help out around the house so duties are more evenly distributed. Either way, it's none of my business. If women do slave away for their husbands and resent it, I hope they can find a way to communicate and turn things around.

Cooking separate meals for your kids is a whole other ball game. I'll just keep my mouth shut on this one

Why I take care of my man.

1. I love him.
2. He works all day.
3. When he's happy I'm happy and vice versa.
4. It's about give and take.
5. He appreciates everything I do and makes it very obvious by telling me how much I matter and how thankful he is.

Look, feminism is about having the CHOICE to play traditional roles or not. It is not a rejection of all things done in the home by a woman.

A married couple is tasked with caring for one another. It is up to each couple to decide how to do this, according to one another strengths and weaknesses; it should have nothing to do with traditional gender roles. It is not wrong for a woman to cook and a man to install gutters, any more than the reverse is wrong.

:flowerforyou:

Who are you even directing this toward?

I think I know a situation that this is directed at. My sister makes food for her and her husband. She also makes something different for her two boys who are 6 and 3 (mostly chicken strips or some variation) and sometimes a different meal for her and her husband.

She is a stay at home mom and pretty much does all of the family cooking and care.

My opinion? Quite accommodating to both kids and spouse. The kids need to be introduced to new foods or they will never find anything that they like. That is under mom's control as she is the one cooking for them. As far as her husband, she needs to tell him what she is planning on making. Sure, be somewhat considerate, but he's a grown man and shouldn't expect her to make whatever he wants whenever he wants it. It is downright sad.

My wife and I mostly cook separate. We have enough differences in what we like to eat that it makes sense. She will tell me though, "I'm making swordfish tomorrow so you are on your own." It works amazingly well.

I agree. If children are not exposed to different foods, then they won't ever learn to like them. We do not have a clean plate policy, but everyone is required to try a bite of something they don't think they will like. It works, in our case...my 7 and 10 year old boys would eat anything that you put in front of them (they LOVE broccoli, brussels sprouts and even asparagus!!).

Still working on my daughter and fish, but to her, it is a texture thing. LOL. She isn't big on meat.

I'm going to just go ahead and disagree with this. I don't know a single 40 year old who will only eat cut up hot dogs or chicken nuggets. I don't know any college kids who still need Mommy to make them cut up hot dogs or chicken nuggets.

Kids do grow out of their culinary idiosyncrasies. My kids have a varied diet, yes. But if one of them really wants a cut up hot dog for dinner or the 59th cheeseburger of the month, then what trouble is it for me really to make it for them? It isn't much. So long as they get the right nutrient balance overall, are growing, are at a healthy weight and don't get sick so often, I am doing my job as a parent.

And if my husband wants a piece of fish when everyone else wants pork tenderloin, is it so much effort for me to put a piece of fish in the oven at the same time as the pork? How much time does that take? Between 2 and 5 minutes of extra prep time. I've checked. He's a good man who does a lot for me and the family. He even cooks when he wants to or I ask him to. But I like to cook for the family, so I do it more.

Some kids will eat different things earlier than others. It doesn't make one kid better than another, and it doesn't make one parent better than another.

I'm going to assume you don't have kids and you're not married.

This! My husband cooks, I cook. I have one kid that is super picky and another that is not. We raised them the same way. It is just life. I also like to cook something for my family. It makes me feel good. It is the same for them. We know what year it is.

Is my breakfast ready yet? And no, I don't want that frufru crap you had.

I just love you so hard.

I do most of the cooking and I make 3 different things. I cook for the son he likes only like 4 things so his is first. In the mean time, I start to prepare mine. Mine takes the longest and most involved then when mine is to the point where I can start her dinner I will do hers. Some times she does her own if she wants something quick she will start it, but a lot of the time I will finish cooking hers. If she cooks her own we tend to get into each others way in the kitchen so it is easier for me to do hers as well. She and I eat healthy where my son since he is 4 we don't count his calories if we get him to eat a balanced meal we are good.

Wouldn't be fair if I restricted my families choice of food because I have specific dietary restrictions due to medical issues. Sorry I can't be selfish like some women. I do most of the cooking. If he is home he assists me but even he doesn't I will cook for both of us and a lot of times it ends up being two meals. I can't eat red meat but I won't deny him a hamburger. I don't know, it has worked for 7 years. Why do care anyway? What I cook in my home really shouldn't matter to you.