He told me he was embarrassed of me while I was pregnant!

I agree with other posters. You need to get out of this if not for yourself but for your children. By accepting his behavior and no leaving, you are teaching your children that it's okay to treat women this way. It's not an easy thing, I've been there. When my 2 year old called me a b*tch I knew I had to do something. I'm better for it and so are they.

You really should leave... Your kids are going to grow up thinking this behavior is ok... And you won't be able to see him in the same light, because he honestly does not give a s*** about you. No one that did care for you would treat you this way.. YOu have ONE life, that's it. You either live it in the best and most honorable way you can, or you will waste it. You need to demand better, if he is going to try you like this then just let him go... You can do it on your own, TAKE CONTROL of your life...

So the truth came out. He is no longer attracted to me. I had a baby 6 mo ago. When he said this 11 days ago and I weighed 212. I now weigh 201. I started the juicing diet immediately the day he told me all of this. He was not a supportive bf during the pregnancy. A lot of insults. He rarely touched my tummy. He is more interested in his son than me. He has told me he doesnt enjoy having sex and that his friends and family are constantly telling him he could do better. Very verbally abusive. Im not leaving him. I already have a 3 yr old from a previous relationship and now I have a 6 mo old. And I am no longer able to have children. Leaving him is out of the question. I know I should. But ..oh well. My question is. When I lose the weight and im down at my goal weight of 150. Will I be able to look at him the same Or is the pain that hes caused by all of the insults going to stay with me? Has anyone gotn through this? kinda feel alone... He says hes trying to "wake me up before its to late". Ive never felt so ugly.

So what I am reading here is that
1. You are going to stay with him to avoid having a second child in a broken home BUT that the home you are raising TWO kids in is more broken than being apart
2. Letting your children grow up in a home where verbal abuse is abound is okay
3. It is acceptable for this man to raise your son(s) beliving that the behaviour he exhibbits to you is perfectly acceptable and this is how life should be and how women should be treated if they are heavy

Honey I am telling you first hand you won't feel any different at any weight. You will always feel insecure about your relationship because of what he has said. You will also continue to feel insecure about yourself because of it and will constantly wonder if he is more interested in someone else. The fact he "warned you" isn't a likely a warning but a tell tail that he is already out the door emotionally if not physically. You deserve to be happy and if that means raising your kids as a single mother, well you are better off with that option than the one you are literally settling for. I'm sorry but your bf sounds like a jerk who doesn't deserve to have anyone fight to keep him in her life. He is the father of ONE of your kids so he will always be a part of your life, but do NOT MAKE HIM YOUR LIFE. Those kids are your life, not him. He doesn't deserve the idea of you getting healthy FOR HIM... IT won't change anything anyway. Change FOR YOU and those kids... and do them a favor and wise up, leave him and be the strong independant person you CAN be if you CHOOSE to be.

Ask yourself, what if you reach 150 and he still thinks you are too big, will you continue losing FOR him... when you reach 130 and he believes you are still too big.... honestly any man who decides his so called ability to love or be attracted to a woman based on her weight is not worth your time.... Does the size of his "unit" matter to you? No and he can't change that so why should you be expected to change the size of yourself for him? Find somewone more deserving who actually knows what it means to be human

What? You look beautiful pregnant!!! Your ego and self esteem should be through the roof! Look at yourself. Seriously, you look great prego!

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I'm 9 months pregnant right now and my ego and self esteem have never been more fragile.

So the truth came out. He is no longer attracted to me. I had a baby 6 mo ago. When he said this 11 days ago and I weighed 212. I now weigh 201. I started the juicing diet immediately the day he told me all of this. He was not a supportive bf during the pregnancy. A lot of insults. He rarely touched my tummy. He is more interested in his son than me. He has told me he doesnt enjoy having sex and that his friends and family are constantly telling him he could do better. Very verbally abusive. Im not leaving him. I already have a 3 yr old from a previous relationship and now I have a 6 mo old. And I am no longer able to have children. Leaving him is out of the question. I know I should. But ..oh well. My question is. When I lose the weight and im down at my goal weight of 150. Will I be able to look at him the same Or is the pain that hes caused by all of the insults going to stay with me? Has anyone gotn through this? kinda feel alone... He says hes trying to "wake me up before its to late". Ive never felt so ugly.

So what I am reading here is that
1. You are going to stay with him to avoid having a second child in a broken home BUT that the home you are raising TWO kids in is more broken than being apart
2. Letting your children grow up in a home where verbal abuse is abound is okay
3. It is acceptable for this man to raise your son(s) beliving that the behaviour he exhibbits to you is perfectly acceptable and this is how life should be and how women should be treated if they are heavy

She followed-up after her OP. She is staying because his mother is sabotaging her in family court. Her fear is that she will lose custody of her children if she leaves him. She knows she should leave him, but hasn't figured out how.

Some people are just not attracted to pregnant people. Yes it hurts to hear that when you have a 3 foot protuberance sticking out from your torso that it's not attractive but it's just not to some people. I for one have never seen an attractive pregnant person, nor ever watched one "glow". I've seen one sweat like it was nobody’s business, but I've just never found it attractive. Of course, I will never date someone who can get pregnant, so I will never have the problem of having to admit to them I think they look disgusting. Nor will I ever be able to get pregnant so I will never have to look at how disgusting I look to myself.

If it upsets you that he didn’t find you attractive then maybe he's just not the right person for you, just because you've birthed a calf he put inside you doesn’t mean you're meant to be. I see from the comments you refuse to leave him, but you're going to wake up one day and he'll be gone. It won't be your fault, but you shouldn’t be shocked when it happens because you already know he doesn’t want to be with you.

While this is true, not every man finds pregnant women attractive, the man should still be attracted to the woman carrying his child. And should never cut her down!

Some people are just not attracted to pregnant people. Yes it hurts to hear that when you have a 3 foot protuberance sticking out from your torso that it's not attractive but it's just not to some people. I for one have never seen an attractive pregnant person, nor ever watched one "glow". I've seen one sweat like it was nobody’s business, but I've just never found it attractive. Of course, I will never date someone who can get pregnant, so I will never have the problem of having to admit to them I think they look disgusting. Nor will I ever be able to get pregnant so I will never have to look at how disgusting I look to myself.

If it upsets you that he didn’t find you attractive then maybe he's just not the right person for you, just because you've birthed a calf he put inside you doesn’t mean you're meant to be. I see from the comments you refuse to leave him, but you're going to wake up one day and he'll be gone. It won't be your fault, but you shouldn’t be shocked when it happens because you already know he doesn’t want to be with you.

While this is true, not every man finds pregnant women attractive, the man should still be attracted to the woman carrying his child. And should never cut her down!

Agreed!

Wow. Sad post. I hope you find a way out.

He won't like you any better when your thin. It's just an excuse. Leave him.

OP - You have to find strength and perservere. He and his mom are both nut jobs. It's just ashame you didn't find this out until after you had your new baby (congrats on the new life). Do you have family members or friends nearby who can vouch for your parenting skills?

His mom is playing emotional blackmail and she needs to get help herself.

You must go - for your sanity's sake. You don't have to stay in that nightmare. I don't understand how they could give her custody of a child that is not hers. Where is the first baby's father or grandparents? Can they help you with the oldest while you get yourself away from this man?