Please stop…I beg of you…

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  • corneredbycorn
    corneredbycorn Posts: 267 Member
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    for those people that are taking this thread seriously, here is something to consider.

    in no way shape or form did the person who created this thread say that people shouldnt eat or enjoy them.

    what they said was to stop refering to them as things they arent.

    a pizza has a dough base, not cauliflower.

    a pancake isnt made of mashed banana.

    bacon is not made from turkey.

    for the rest of the people who have a sense of humour, i dont recommend "drunken nachos" which is made from corn flakes, a jar of pasta sauce the topped with sliced american cheese and baked in the oven. it is no substitute for nachos, it is a substitute for punching your self in the face, but it has more calories.
    Ugh! Turkey bacon! Such an abomination!
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

    Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

    Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

    Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

    Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

    Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

    Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.

    I think I :heart: you
  • leska1216
    leska1216 Posts: 260
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    The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

    Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

    Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

    Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

    Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

    Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

    Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.

    Absolutely totally agree with you!! Food is food, eat it or not. But don't try to fake it out. It doesn't work.
  • MamaWeil2018
    MamaWeil2018 Posts: 62 Member
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    I don't understand..if this is not hurting you or you don't wish to enjoy such..why complain why not just pass by the post. To each their own you know..

    I for one am THANKFUL for the different options and personally love my cauliflower pizza crust among other variations.

    I do allow myself to indulge however I prefer to choose a healtheir option to provide myself for better lifestyle habits if I can. I don't do "diets" - I don't believe they work but changing how I eat will last me a lifetime.

    But that's just my 2 cents.


    I agree with you, but hey like you said, to each his own.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I don't understand..if this is not hurting you or you don't wish to enjoy such..why complain why not just pass by the post. To each their own you know..

    I for one am THANKFUL for the different options and personally love my cauliflower pizza crust among other variations.

    I do allow myself to indulge however I prefer to choose a healtheir option to provide myself for better lifestyle habits if I can. I don't do "diets" - I don't believe they work but changing how I eat will last me a lifetime.

    But that's just my 2 cents.

    This was meant to be more of a social commentary about the progressive nature of this site's users to condemn food. All the OP is saying is if you want pizza, then eat pizza, just exercise some self-control. She is also attempting to point out that deluding oneself that creating a pseudo-replacement for junk food is only delaying a potential inevitable binge. Not every post is as negative as it sounds. Why do people always look to scrutinize every post that they read?
  • mmenuey27
    mmenuey27 Posts: 51 Member
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    I agree completely. Quit altering recipes into something that inludes healthy alternatives. It's just gross!!!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I learned my lesson with the black bean brownies. They were tolerable... but in a disgusting sort of way.
  • gfedex
    gfedex Posts: 226 Member
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    Not every post is as negative as it sounds. Why do people always look to scrutinize every post that they read?

    Don't you know that EVERY post must be taken personally? No joking, satire, sarcasm (regardless of how obvious it is) allowed!
  • babyskunkles
    babyskunkles Posts: 86 Member
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    I love how someone said that if you don't like a post you should just pass it by. With that being said, why didn't THEY just pass THIS post by? Why did they feel they had to comment???
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Ok. I'll admit it...I hate turkey bacon and prefer REAL bacon. Yummy! I won't settle except for the real thing. It's my weakness...no one will ever change my mind. Turkey bacon just tastes wrong!
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Black bean brownies taste exactly like black beans mixed with sugar. :angry:

    Chick pea "cookie dough" is sweet hummus and a waste of chocolate chips. :explode:

    Ooh! I just remembered I have a frosty in the fridge. Healthify my frosty, I dare ya, suckers!

    Oh darn. Now I want some black bean brownies. There are some recipes that are really amazing. I use stevia and make a grain free version and eat them hot with strawberries. They aren't brownies, but they are yummy made right. I could imagine that made wrong, they'd be atrocious.

    ChocolateCoveredKatie makes really tasty "substitute" recipes.
  • walkdmc
    walkdmc Posts: 529 Member
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    I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

    What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

    thanks add me for motivation.

    ZOMG, I am totally trying this! Did you mean to say "all grains are falafel"? Or are they all fatal? I thought just the white Wonder bread was fatal?

    I want to add your arm for motivation.
  • giggitygoo
    giggitygoo Posts: 1,978 Member
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    506ad98d164780ac50783393aa130f83860de15e_m.gif
  • gabesgourmet
    gabesgourmet Posts: 78
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    WAIT WAIT WAIT...will my diet coke still cancel out my snickers bar?
  • angel79202
    angel79202 Posts: 1,012 Member
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    these are awesome :)
  • flobeedoodle
    flobeedoodle Posts: 176 Member
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    *snip*
    Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a [strike]nasty[/strike] strange, deliciously compelling, fruit-based omelet.
    *snip*

    Fixed that for you.
    WAIT WAIT WAIT...will my diet coke still cancel out my snickers bar?
    Don' be ridiculous. Of course it does.
  • terijoestoes
    terijoestoes Posts: 205 Member
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    The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

    Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

    Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

    Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

    Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

    Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

    Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.

    Why would it matter to you. This site is for sharing. If these recipes have no interest for you SKIP THEM!!!! This whole post was so unbelievably self centered I am at loss for words.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

    Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

    Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

    Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

    Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

    Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

    Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.

    Why would it matter to you. This site is for sharing. If these recipes have no interest for you SKIP THEM!!!! This whole post was so unbelievably self centered I am at loss for words.

    Four sentences effectively negates your claim of speechlessness :flowerforyou:
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    I don't understand..if this is not hurting you or you don't wish to enjoy such..why complain why not just pass by the post. To each their own you know..

    I for one am THANKFUL for the different options and personally love my cauliflower pizza crust among other variations.

    I do allow myself to indulge however I prefer to choose a healtheir option to provide myself for better lifestyle habits if I can. I don't do "diets" - I don't believe they work but changing how I eat will last me a lifetime.

    But that's just my 2 cents.

    This was meant to be more of a social commentary about the progressive nature of this site's users to condemn food. All the OP is saying is if you want pizza, then eat pizza, just exercise some self-control. She is also attempting to point out that deluding oneself that creating a pseudo-replacement for junk food is only delaying a potential inevitable binge. Not every post is as negative as it sounds. Why do people always look to scrutinize every post that they read?
    Half of the comedy value of the thread is the social commentary/satire. The other half is in the posts from people who take it seriously.
    Why would it matter to you. This site is for sharing. If these recipes have no interest for you SKIP THEM!!!! This whole post was so unbelievably self centered I am at loss for words.
    And the hypocrisy in these posts is also hilarious. It's just funny on so many levels.:laugh:
  • slcostel
    slcostel Posts: 116 Member
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    jim-carrey-gum.gif

    ROFL

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