Am I being unrealistic?

Thank you for making me feel extremely fastidious and incredibly wonderful.

I'm seriously neither one of those, but I live alone and am WAY cleaner than that & moderately fun to be around.

One think I will say is that you have needs and if he is not meeting those needs, it's just not going to work. It doesn't matter if you don't pay for anything or not. If he's not willing to engage in some give and take, that's not a partnership, that's servitorship.

Good luck!

The stalker tendencies you describe frightened me more than anything else you said about him.
he sounds more than depressed - he sounds very unhinged, like he's one stress away from mental collapse or explosion.
I understand you have nowhere to go in terms of family - is there a friend who can take you in?
can you speak to someone at an abused women's shelter - perhaps you can be taken into one?
I understand your fear, that he might be stalking your email and things like that - you might have to somehow get a message to a trusted friend who can then make the contact with a women's shelter for you.
You don't have to make any specific moves now ... just know where your escape hatch is.
You must genuinely want one, as you posted on this forum.
Find your way ... looks like we're all rooting for you!

You're being as realistic as your post.

I call BS.

You have got to be kidding? Because there is no way even my horny self could get naked with that.......

OMG..........

you want to put that where?

If this type of lifestyle and behavior is not a deal breaker for you...I am curious as to what would be.

Here is a question I ask people when they are faced with relationship issues which is this:

"If you had a daughter, would you want your daughter going out or being with a guy like this?" Would you set a good friend up with a guy like this on a date?"

If the answer is "No", then why do you accept less for yourself?

Depressed or not, that's not really the biggest issue. The thing that truly worries me is that he is emotionally abusive and controlling. He's telling you who you can see and where you can go, he'd threatening you with what he will do to you if you leave and he still "enjoys" tormenting his ex. Even if he starts taking care of himself and the home, that will most likely not change. And if he doesn't want you to get a job because he's afraid of who you will meet, that won't change when you graduate from college either.

Get some help, girl. There are a lot of groups out there for women like you. See if there is a women's shelter in your area or contact the Domestic Abuse Helpline (dahmw.org). They can help you find a place to go, employment, maybe even grants to help pay for college and bills. Let them know when you contact them that you are afraid of what he might do when you leave. But, if you have no family, no job and are in a safe place, what can he honestly do to you? But get out, get out now!

This sounds emotionally abusive and unclean. No one in here can tell you what to do, but it sounds like you know what you want. You didn't say one thing that is keeping you with him...

Do you have any friends that would consider allowing you to stay with them while you finish college? You definitely need to get a job . . . whatever kind of job you can . . . it will give you back ownership of your life. Remember the feeling that you had when you wanted OUT of a particular foster home? Find that feeling and get out now!

"I feel trapped. I am actually scared sometimes. What if I did leave and he hurts me? He told me what he did to his x wife when she left. . . He is an IT major and he sent naked pictures of his x wife to EVERYONE she works with. She was fired. He still enjoys harassing her. If he isnt going to be nice to me, I dont know what to do anymore."

Plus the motion cameras? WTF? Is this dude like a hacker or something?

If I was in that situation I would be scared sh*tless. I'd say run and run now. Go to the police if you're afraid that he's going to harass you in some way. If you're genuinely in fear for your life, the police have to do something about it. You could get a restraining order?

This is rude but this dude sounds like a total controlling douche, like someone you'd see on America's most wanted.
If you're dependant on him for your college tuition, housing, or whatnot; I'm sure you could take a semester off of school until you get your record cleared; find a job and pay bills on your own. It will be hard, but having your own freedom and not living with a psycho is MUCH better than the current situation you describe.

And to add... Where is your mother that you spoke about in previous posts? Where is the brother you mentioned? What happened in the last month with your boyfriend as in Jan you posted that you are happy and you are lucky... now this??? You also pointed out in a previous post that you want to lose weight and be happier/healthier so when your son who you gave up for adoption meets you in the future he won't be ashamed of you. If this post is real, get out now so you have the chance to meet your son in the future. And on your profile you have that you work 35 hours a week. Get out while you can.

Rut Roh. You have contradicted yourself multiple times. Troll? A-ho?