I'm not attracted to my boyfriend but I can't leave him :-(

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  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    Nice guys finish last, and everybody wonders, "where are all the good men gone." Your damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Good Luck.

    Ain't that the truth.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
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    The fair thing to do is to let him move on and find someone who does find him attractive as well as love his personality. Life is to short to settle for only half of the equation. That goes for the both of you!


    ^^^
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Nice guys finish last, and everybody wonders, "where are all the good men gone." Your damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Good Luck.

    Ain't that the truth.

    No. It's not the truth.

    "Nice guys" is a cop out because you lack assertiveness.

    You won't get anywhere making excuses.

    OP the only possible solution I see for you is to marry your boyfriend.
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
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    Nice guys finish last, and everybody wonders, "where are all the good men gone." Your damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Good Luck.

    Ain't that the truth.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2259582/Tumblr-exposes-Nice-Guys-OkCupid-looking-love.html

    nice guys don't call themselves nice :wink:
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    Nice guys finish last, and everybody wonders, "where are all the good men gone." Your damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Good Luck.

    Ain't that the truth.

    Just because you're 'nice' doesn't mean every girl you like should automatically like you back because you're 'nice'. You can't help who you're attracted to.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Nice guys finish last, and everybody wonders, "where are all the good men gone." Your damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Good Luck.

    Ain't that the truth.

    Just because you're 'nice' doesn't mean every girl you like should automatically like you back because you're 'nice'. You can't help who you're attracted to.

    But . . . wait?

    I thought if I'm nice to you . . . you will take me home and, you know, have sex with me.

    Otherwise what's the point of being nice??
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    Nice guys finish last, and everybody wonders, "where are all the good men gone." Your damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Good Luck.

    Ain't that the truth.

    Just because you're 'nice' doesn't mean every girl you like should automatically like you back because you're 'nice'. You can't help who you're attracted to.

    But . . . wait?

    I thought if I'm nice to you . . . you will take me home and, you know, have sex with me.

    Otherwise what's the point of being nice??

    Oh.... you were just being nice to get into my pants? That's so 'nice'.
  • lady_in_weighting
    lady_in_weighting Posts: 196 Member
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    Love is frustrating and complex. My first serious BF i wasnt physically attracted to but loved his personality. We were so similar and like the same things that I grew to love him physically as much as I loved his personailty. However he cheated and it all ended.

    My BF that im with now, im very physically attracted to him but personailty wise and his demonstraion of love to me is a bit different to mine. I think this is a working progress.

    Think about how long you have been feeling this way and when did this happen? What made you think differently of him? Did something happen?

    Try to think back and identify where these triggers sparked these feelings.

    Best of luck :) x
  • Sam3622
    Sam3622 Posts: 172 Member
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    Nice guys finish last, and everybody wonders, "where are all the good men gone." Your damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Good Luck.

    Ain't that the truth.

    Just because you're 'nice' doesn't mean every girl you like should automatically like you back because you're 'nice'. You can't help who you're attracted to.

    Yup!!
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    f you are not attracted ,, leave him, why are you there in the first place???????
  • rotill
    rotill Posts: 244 Member
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    First: he deserves to be with a girl who loves him.

    Next: you deserve a boyfriend who doesn't make you feel guilty, and doesn't use your feelings of guilt to manipulate you into a relationship. If he will become a bitter and cynical person who hates women if you leave him, imagine what will happen when he realises what he has missed out on by staying with a woman who doesn't like having sex with him!

    Consider this: The main complaint of men who cheat on their wives is that their wives don't like having sex with them. Do you want to be that wife? Do you want him to be married to that wife?
  • Italiano7
    Italiano7 Posts: 382 Member
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    Its not fair to him or you to string him along. You need to leave him. Stop wasting each others time if you know that you don't plan to have a future with him.
  • ToughTulip
    ToughTulip Posts: 1,118 Member
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    This thread is a year old. Im sure she got her answer by now.
  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
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    He is perfect on paper and you want to be attracted to him because he thinks the world of you and would do anything for you, but you are not doing him or yourself any favours. He tells you what he would be like if you broke up with him because, deep down, he already knows how you feel and is hoping guilt will make you stay.

    You will only end up resenting him if you stay and end up hurting him more in the long run. Yes, you will probably be jealous if you see him with someone else and you will think that maybe you made a mistake and should have stuck it out to see if it worked. But these are just what ifs. You have never really fancied him from day one only liked him and sometimes people can carry on like that but would it make you or him truly happy?

    I think you know it is time to end it and move on. Good luck with whatever you end up doing and hopefully both of you go on to find the perfect one for you :flowerforyou:
  • LisaLayers
    LisaLayers Posts: 10
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    This thread is a year old. Im sure she got her answer by now.

    Lol true..

    Haha I never thought to check for a time

    :O
  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
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    This thread is a year old. Im sure she got her answer by now.


    Lol, I didn't even look at the date. That was a wasted reply I'm sure it won't have taken her that long to decide :smile:
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
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    Just break up.
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    This thread is a year old. Im sure she got her answer by now.

    Lol true..

    Haha I never thought to check for a time

    :O

    Paha - whoops!
  • Shetchncn1
    Shetchncn1 Posts: 260 Member
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    The fair thing to do is to let him move on and find someone who does find him attractive as well as love his personality. Life is to short to settle for only half of the equation. That goes for the both of you!
    [/quote

    I absolutely agree with this]
  • _Witsy_
    _Witsy_ Posts: 609 Member
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    It is incredibly unfair for you to stay if you absolutely know you are not in love with him in every sense of the word.

    You deserve to be in a passionate relationship and he deserves someone who is passionate about him.

    Sure he has said things that are making you not want to move your feet but you have to...it is highly unlikely that these feelings you have will change and yes it will suck for a while..but you both will be better off.

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