Online Dating, Yay or Nay
Replies
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I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had met before? I definitely didn't realize I had treated you poorly in the past.
You are generalizing and that's the problem.
Listen, I get it. Dating is hard. People treat each other terribly. My ex used me, lied to me, cheated on me, asked me to take him back and then left me for another girl. It was the worst, but I learned a whole lot.
I may be more careful screening the next one, but I'm certainly not going to blame all men for his indiscretions. If I did that then the only person I would be hurting is myself.
I'm not even talking about dating. It's not an issue of screening. I'm talking about meeting. 9 out 10 times I get blown off in the first 30 seconds because I don't look like the cookie cutter athletic beach body women are hoping walks up to them. You know, that guy they're talking to 5 minutes later.
I do not fit this mold.....never have....but when I was single I got lots of attention from the ladies. It the personality....You have to be confident. You have to love yourself.....and you have to be a good person. I can't say much about you personally because I don't know you. But from the things you say on the internet I would say you could work on all three of these. And maybe adjust your standards.....I am not one to judge....because that's against the forum guidelines....but the general rule of thumb is you can move 2 spaces up or down. If you are a 6 don't try to date a 10. Again....I am not saying you are a 6. Just saying to think about where you fall in that equation.0 -
My husband and I met online. 6 years and going strong.0
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I'm fat.
All the ladies on my friends list want me...it's ridic how much I have to fend them off...
But, my attitude for the most part is awesome...
Tyler, get off the Internet and come back to bed!
You left me for Tyler ... effffffff this!
I think it's fairly obvious why
^Touche0 -
I say Yay.......as long as my wife doesn't find out!
for the record: I'm joking! :P
Did that hurt?0 -
No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.
Still waiting for the one...
Do you feel comfortable talking about it? I was never approached by a man in a wheelchair when I was single, but I bet I would have wanted to ask a million and one questions about it. Is that weird?! lol0 -
I met my husband online.
I have to tell you though...I weeded through a lot of dandies before I found him. The important thing is to be smart. Talk plenty first. If he doesn't want to talk, he probably wants sex. Meet up at a public place for the first date. Do not let him pick you up! When you meet up, trust your gut instincts. And just keep an open mind!
Yeah, my GF and I talked for almost two weeks before we actually met. First it was e-mails, then texts, and then phone conversations. The first night we met she was sitting in her car and she waited for me to go in; I had no idea what she was driving. She asked me what I had on and watched me walk in while she was on the phone with her mom. When we got in she texted her mom to let her know everything was fine. In retrospect I'm shocked she let me walk her to her car afterwards but she did give me a big hug first.
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I am pregnant. You need to do the right thing.
You can't send me anywhere, i go where i want. And we'll never be done Tyler. NEVER.I'm fat.
All the ladies on my friends list want me...it's ridic how much I have to fend them off...
But, my attitude for the most part is awesome...
I'm actually considering putting on a few pounds to be more like Tyler.
I'm all jealous of his bishes.
It's the attitude man....but you seem to be doing good there. When I am done, I will send them your way....
^^^^This one is CRAZYYYY
Run?0 -
law of attraction doesn't really work that way. I would recommend focusing on yourself, love yourself, be the best you - you can be. Be your best friend, love yourself, take care of yourself and set high standards for those you allow to be near you. Then and only then will you attract someone worthy of you. It doesn't matter what your size or weight is, what matters is if you love yourself and only allow healthy people into your inner circle.0
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Met my ex-wife online, also met my current girlfriend online. I am gunna call it a wash at this point :laugh:0
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drchimpanzee - I'm going to be totally straight up with you. I think you are a really good looking guy - your before pictures are hot, your current pictures are hot. If I were single (or of lesser character) I would be on you like white on rice.
Until you open your mouth. And then, all I see is your ugly attitude.
I deleted you from my FL a few weeks back after a lengthy and heated discussion between you and me and one of my other friends, wherein we both shared with you our experiences in dating overweight men. Each of us explained our attractions toward men of a heavier build, and that not only do WE put personality first and foremost when choosing partners, neither of us keep female friends that would do anything less as well. You still maintained that at least 80% of women were shallow and superficial, and wouldn't give you the time of day when you were overweight because of it, and won't give you their attention now because ... well, because of who knows what. Honestly, I stopped listening at that point. And deleted you. Your ignorance and sexism is disheartening.
You know that saying about how if everything around you is bad, the common denominator is probably you? Yeah, that's what's going on here. You're good looking, reasonably intelligent, pretty well spoken, and seem to be gainfully employed. The only thing stopping you from finding a decent woman is YOU. I promise you that. Please get some counseling for your insecurities and sexist ideas about women, because it hurts my heart to see you struggle so much with this.
I was once engaged to a man who is overweight. And this was when I was arguable hotter than I am now (younger and thinner). And I'm pretty damn hot now.
I broke that engagement because of....wait for it...his attitude. That's probably because I'm super shallow, though.0 -
Yes, very comfortable. It's usually the other person who always apologizes for asking so many questions, even when I tell them I actually don't mind educating people on the subject. Questions are a good thing.No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.
Still waiting for the one...
Do you feel comfortable talking about it? I was never approached by a man in a wheelchair when I was single, but I bet I would have wanted to ask a million and one questions about it. Is that weird?! lol
I actually laugh about it, 'cause so many people act like its such a sore subject, and feel kind of strange asking questions. Always happens that way.0 -
I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.
You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?
No but I can tell you from experience 2/3 of the guys who think I am great now would not have given me the time of day when I was larger. Beauty fades, I would want someone who loves me for my personality, intelligence, and character. The closer you are to the ideal physically the more points you receive towards a match. If you have enough physical attractive points people stop noticing that you don't have the other qualities they are looking for. When the attraction fades the differences become more obvious and the relationship is damaged. Basing any part of a relationship on physical attraction is silly, its like building the foundation of a house out of a material you know for a fact will break down over time.0 -
drchimpanzee - I'm going to be totally straight up with you. I think you are a really good looking guy - your before pictures are hot, your current pictures are hot. If I were single (or of lesser character) I would be on you like white on rice.
Until you open your mouth. And then, all I see is your ugly attitude.
I deleted you from my FL a few weeks back after a lengthy and heated discussion between you and me and one of my other friends, wherein we both shared with you our experiences in dating overweight men. Each of us explained our attractions toward men of a heavier build, and that not only do WE put personality first and foremost when choosing partners, neither of us keep female friends that would do anything less as well. You still maintained that at least 80% of women were shallow and superficial, and wouldn't give you the time of day when you were overweight because of it, and won't give you their attention now because ... well, because of who knows what. Honestly, I stopped listening at that point. And deleted you. Your ignorance and sexism is disheartening.
You know that saying about how if everything around you is bad, the common denominator is probably you? Yeah, that's what's going on here. You're good looking, reasonably intelligent, pretty well spoken, and seem to be gainfully employed. The only thing stopping you from finding a decent woman is YOU. I promise you that. Please get some counseling for your insecurities and sexist ideas about women, because it hurts my heart to see you struggle so much with this.
I was once engaged to a man who is overweight. And this was when I was arguable hotter than I am now (younger and thinner). And I'm pretty damn hot now.
I broke that engagement because of....wait for it...his attitude. That's probably because I'm super shallow, though.
when I've dated overweight men (and I have dated a few) I always left them because of their attitude.
the last one beat me.....but guess what.... drchimpanzee will probably say I left him because of his weight...nevermind his fists....
I've also dated a guy that was overweight. Damn, I hate being so shallow.
I've dated 6 or 7 guys in my life who were overweight...ended it with all of them because they were jealous and possessive because I was skinnier than they were (their words, not mine). And now? I'm married to the most amazing man who worships the ground I walk on. AANNND he's overweight!! Who gives a *kitten*? I love him for his personality and how much he cares for me, not for his weight....0 -
I've got a few online dating accounts... I'm at the age and in a small enough town where it is really hard to meet people... sure you will get some weirdos... I kid you not, just a week or so ago I got a message from an EIGHTY year old man that told me he could go for 4 hrs after he popped his little blue pill... put you also get a lot of people that like us, are decent people that just have a hard time meeting people. Best of luck0
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I met my fiance through POF, I love him to bits and while it took a long time to weed through the duds on there, I actually made a few friends off the site in the process and met my wonderful man!0
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Yes, very comfortable. It's usually the other person who always apologizes for asking so many questions, even when I tell them I actually don't mind educating people on the subject. Questions are a good thing.No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.
Still waiting for the one...
Do you feel comfortable talking about it? I was never approached by a man in a wheelchair when I was single, but I bet I would have wanted to ask a million and one questions about it. Is that weird?! lol
I actually laugh about it, 'cause so many people act like its such a sore subject, and feel kind of strange asking questions. Always happens that way.
That's really interesting! I could see how folks may feel strange asking questions. I'm sure you'll find a really wonderful woman to spend your days with.0 -
No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.
Still waiting for the one...
Don't give up. You wouldn't believe the things my guy told me up front, before we met and I was cool with all of it. There is someone for everyone.0 -
I met my current boyfriend online and would recommend it to anyone. I would just say back sure you have NO expectations before meeting the person and try to meet as soon as possible. People who want so desperately to be in a relationship will turn you into whoever they want you to be through texts and emails etc. It is easy to think you like someone but a lot about a relationship is attraction...their mannersims...they way they smell etc...so try to meet as soon as possible and just use the web as a means to connect.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, live together and are VERY VERY happy...he is the one and all that jazz ha.
My boyfriend has three sisters and they all met their husbands online and I also have a friend who married someone that met online so..it can work for sure....good luck!!0 -
I'm fat.
All the ladies on my friends list want me...it's ridic how much I have to fend them off...
But, my attitude for the most part is awesome...
Which makes you HOT!0 -
I'm fat.
All the ladies on my friends list want me...it's ridic how much I have to fend them off...
But, my attitude for the most part is awesome...
Dude . . . it's not just the ladies.
:flowerforyou:
:laugh:0 -
drchimpanzee - I'm going to be totally straight up with you. I think you are a really good looking guy - your before pictures are hot, your current pictures are hot. If I were single (or of lesser character) I would be on you like white on rice.
Until you open your mouth. And then, all I see is your ugly attitude.
I deleted you from my FL a few weeks back after a lengthy and heated discussion between you and me and one of my other friends, wherein we both shared with you our experiences in dating overweight men. Each of us explained our attractions toward men of a heavier build, and that not only do WE put personality first and foremost when choosing partners, neither of us keep female friends that would do anything less as well. You still maintained that at least 80% of women were shallow and superficial, and wouldn't give you the time of day when you were overweight because of it, and won't give you their attention now because ... well, because of who knows what. Honestly, I stopped listening at that point. And deleted you. Your ignorance and sexism is disheartening.
You know that saying about how if everything around you is bad, the common denominator is probably you? Yeah, that's what's going on here. You're good looking, reasonably intelligent, pretty well spoken, and seem to be gainfully employed. The only thing stopping you from finding a decent woman is YOU. I promise you that. Please get some counseling for your insecurities and sexist ideas about women, because it hurts my heart to see you struggle so much with this.
Wow....ouch! That's a bit of a brutal savaging.0 -
No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.
Still waiting for the one...
You might want to make a note of that right up front on your profile, that way they can self-select. If someone messages you or responds to you, you know they are already ok with that aspect.
You should like a great person, and you should not have to select people to talk to that might not be interested in dating someone in a wheelchair.0 -
As far as online dating....
Before dating sites there was AOL. Yes. AOL.
Met my wife in a chat room 19 years ago. It ain't been all sunshine and roses, but we're still together and still in love.
Good ole $19.95 a month dial up connection or busy signal. lol0 -
Honestly... I met my husband online... it wasn't an online dating site though. I met him in a chat room on AOL a llllloooonnnngggg time ago... almost 14 years ago now. We started out as friends but hit it off so much that we started talking more and more and more - realized we were perfect for each other in every way. The best part about it, was that we got to know each other from the inside out - before we ever knew what each other looked like. That was the magic of it. I had never been so open with anyone before, and I think a lot of that was due to my weight and lack of self confidence. I know a lot of people who met online and are happily married. I know it's how I found my soul mate.... 14 years later and we've never been happier and stronger. Best of luck to you hon. *hugs*0
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drchimpanzee - I'm going to be totally straight up with you. I think you are a really good looking guy - your before pictures are hot, your current pictures are hot. If I were single (or of lesser character) I would be on you like white on rice.
Until you open your mouth. And then, all I see is your ugly attitude.
I deleted you from my FL a few weeks back after a lengthy and heated discussion between you and me and one of my other friends, wherein we both shared with you our experiences in dating overweight men. Each of us explained our attractions toward men of a heavier build, and that not only do WE put personality first and foremost when choosing partners, neither of us keep female friends that would do anything less as well. You still maintained that at least 80% of women were shallow and superficial, and wouldn't give you the time of day when you were overweight because of it, and won't give you their attention now because ... well, because of who knows what. Honestly, I stopped listening at that point. And deleted you. Your ignorance and sexism is disheartening.
You know that saying about how if everything around you is bad, the common denominator is probably you? Yeah, that's what's going on here. You're good looking, reasonably intelligent, pretty well spoken, and seem to be gainfully employed. The only thing stopping you from finding a decent woman is YOU. I promise you that. Please get some counseling for your insecurities and sexist ideas about women, because it hurts my heart to see you struggle so much with this.
I was once engaged to a man who is overweight. And this was when I was arguable hotter than I am now (younger and thinner). And I'm pretty damn hot now.
I broke that engagement because of....wait for it...his attitude. That's probably because I'm super shallow, though.
Wow....ouch! That's a bit of a brutal savaging.
I still have no idea how someone could possibly gleam any sort of attitude from 30s worth of conversation but if you want to swear to it fine. I'm sure tons can be read in to, "Hi my name is Will." Speaks volumes. Pretty much sums up my entire being. Seriously. It doesn't get past that. There has to be a looks based reason. Especially when all around women are talking to more fit guys. Seriously, was their approach different? Did they say "hello" different? You people have no clue what you're talking about.0 -
I have done my fair share of internet dating. Met a couple of very decent guys with whom I have become friends only. Dated a few and had fun with a few... One thing that I have found that works for me is to make sure our first date is a half hour coffee date. That way you can make an escape if he is totally creepy or just a plain old jerk. Unfortunately there is a lot about a persons personality that you cannot pick up on the internet. Things you only discover once you meet face to face. The way he treats the waitress says a lot about him too. Go out there and have fun.0
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Never done, never will. sorry, but nay.0
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drchimpanzee - I'm going to be totally straight up with you. I think you are a really good looking guy - your before pictures are hot, your current pictures are hot. If I were single (or of lesser character) I would be on you like white on rice.
Until you open your mouth. And then, all I see is your ugly attitude.
I deleted you from my FL a few weeks back after a lengthy and heated discussion between you and me and one of my other friends, wherein we both shared with you our experiences in dating overweight men. Each of us explained our attractions toward men of a heavier build, and that not only do WE put personality first and foremost when choosing partners, neither of us keep female friends that would do anything less as well. You still maintained that at least 80% of women were shallow and superficial, and wouldn't give you the time of day when you were overweight because of it, and won't give you their attention now because ... well, because of who knows what. Honestly, I stopped listening at that point. And deleted you. Your ignorance and sexism is disheartening.
You know that saying about how if everything around you is bad, the common denominator is probably you? Yeah, that's what's going on here. You're good looking, reasonably intelligent, pretty well spoken, and seem to be gainfully employed. The only thing stopping you from finding a decent woman is YOU. I promise you that. Please get some counseling for your insecurities and sexist ideas about women, because it hurts my heart to see you struggle so much with this.
I was once engaged to a man who is overweight. And this was when I was arguable hotter than I am now (younger and thinner). And I'm pretty damn hot now.
I broke that engagement because of....wait for it...his attitude. That's probably because I'm super shallow, though.
Wow....ouch! That's a bit of a brutal savaging.
I still have no idea how someone could possibly gleam any sort of attitude from 30s worth of conversation but if you want to swear to it fine. I'm sure tons can be read in to, "Hi my name is Will." Speaks volumes. Pretty much sums up my entire being. Seriously. It doesn't get past that. There has to be a looks based reason. Especially when all around women are talking to more fit guys. Seriously, was their approach different? Did they say "hello" different? You people have no clue what you're talking about.
who is this "you people" you are attacking in your post exactly?0 -
Yes, very comfortable. It's usually the other person who always apologizes for asking so many questions, even when I tell them I actually don't mind educating people on the subject. Questions are a good thing.No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.
Still waiting for the one...
Do you feel comfortable talking about it? I was never approached by a man in a wheelchair when I was single, but I bet I would have wanted to ask a million and one questions about it. Is that weird?! lol
I actually laugh about it, 'cause so many people act like its such a sore subject, and feel kind of strange asking questions. Always happens that way.
If you were to post a photo of yourself which allowed a full view, would that sort of screen out those ladies who were going to run off anyway? Or maybe include that info (and related background info) in your "getting to know me" paragraph?
My husband's BF lost his left leg in a car accident, and uses a prosthetic, on his online dating profile he mentions it right up front and makes a joke about it so that women 1. know about it, 2. have the chance to absorb that info before they start a coversation, and 3. know he's comfotable talking about it.
The use of a chair would not phase me in someone I was interested in dating, but my immediate first question would be considered to be rude/vulgar/none of my bizness.....so I understand why they may be feeling weird. Rather than brave asking you that question, they just run. It's not nice, but internet dating isn't a nice world sometimes....:ohwell:
I wish you luck!0 -
Yay! My older brother found his wife on-line dating, and the wonderful guy I am currently dating I met on match.com. Like you I didn't have a lot of time outside of work, and who really wants to meet a guy at a bar these days? By my experience the guys you meet online are actually looking for a relationship, not to say some may be just looking for a booty-call, but generally when you are willing to pay for something, you are more serious. Just be safe about it, meet the guy in a public place, drive yourself... I wouldn't recommend talking to people who only have one photo, or don't have a lot of detail in their profile (fraud-indicators).0
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