Your most humiliating "fat" experience.

sure looks matter in a relationship...but I know, hands down... that my husband can probably get a new girl in a minute, but she will not be me. He will be miserable and then he would think, he chose a petty thing to give me up over. So I think to myself when I am feeling blue over my weight, noone is perfect, and you can choose to choose someone upon their looks and have great arm candy...or you can choose on personality and substance and be happy.

So, you can not have one with out the other? My ex used to tell me I would never find someone as awesome as him.

I am with a gorgeous and generous man now that treats me like a princess.

I think many of the women on this site would like to think that they are great arm candy with a personality and substance. The thought that your husband can not get both is pretty disrespectful to him..

It's disrespectful towards him? You sound like a real gem.

First of all, i'm confused as to why your boyfriend would say something so rude to you.
My worst experience was when I got into my mom's car, went to sit down, and the side of my pants leg ripped. SO embaressing.

I can only think of one...finding out I can't get onto a tall horse without a mounting block. Though that's not much about being overweight, it's about being in my 60's and having no spring in my legs at all.

I love the all time favorite, "I'm not saying you're fat".

Utterly humiliated when I needed a seat belt extender on the airplane.

The one that always sticks in my mind was when I was in 10th grade. I was pretty quite in high school and an "outcast". I wasn't the weight I am now, but I was fat.

Anyway, during class change, I was walking through the locker area and accidently bumped into this guy. He took it upon himself to yell out so everyone could hear that I was a "fat *****" and "I need to watch where I was going" and said other humiliating things that I have blocked out of memory.

Needless to say I mumbled "I'm sorry" and ran to class and just wanted to die. I layed my head on my desk, covered my face and just cried almost the entire class.

That feeling though, I will never forget....probably one of my worst moments in life that fed even MORE into my hatred for myself and all that wonderful crap....

Ok. Fine. here is the argument.
"You need a bigger swim suit".
"Why? is this one too skimpy?"
"It just needs to be bigger."
"Is it too small? It doesn't feel tight. Does it look bad?"
"You Look disgusting in it!"

In my opinion, if a guy is willing to walk into this mine field - interrogating him comes at your risk.

"It just needs to be bigger"

Was as far as it needed to go. This totally implies; 1. It's too small for you and 2. It looks bad.

Otherwise, I'm sure he never would have mentioned it in the first place (knowing that this is a minefield).

I know that YOU suggest that this would be safer:

"Maybe you should try that suit again after you lose a few more pounds".

I would NEVER think that this would be a "safer" option. In my experience - mentioning a girls weight directly is not a wise move at all.

For that matter, had he actually said, "It's too small and it looks bad on you"

This might still have been remembered as, "You Look disgusting in it!"

My only question is why the hell do people have a double standard? If you are heavy go work out and eat better. Then when you do they yell crap at you or call you names.

My two stories are a little strange. When I was in middle school through high school I HATED it. kids can be cruel is the voice of a dumbass teacher not willing to stand up for kids. I walked to and from school every day (about 2 1/2 miles one way). After doing this for about 2 years The walk was pretty easy and I decided to try running to see if I was getting better. A kid from school drove by and yelled "run forest run" and at first I tried to brush the comment off and keep running. I ended up stopping about 3 blocks away because I was so upset.

The funny thing was that I was in pretty good shape at that time. I just wanted to kick in the teeth of some of those kids.

The second was from my mother in law who commented on a picture of me when I was swimming with my 2 kids. She made a point to share the photo to just make fun of me. I never liked her, but I wouldn't go out of my way to do something like that.

I think this stuff has motivated me to do 3 things.

1. get into shape
2. cut them out of my life
3. teach my kids how to treat people

To everyone on this forum or anywhere else, next time you see someone trying to do something good for themselves, either exercise or eat better. Give them a complement. We all know the *kitten* have big mouths. We need to stand up for each other more.

Twice I have been congratulated for my pregnancy, when I was NOT pregnant. Not only embarassing for me, but also embarassing for them, who wanted to be nice to me. Which made it even more embarassing for me

I was in denial that I was overweight. I tried to fit in size 3 jeans.it ripped.

I was in denial that I was overweight. I tried to fit in size 3 jeans.it ripped.

Is someone who's a little too big for size three jeans necessarily overweight?

Umm. Is it bad that I keep bringing home articles for at home workouts and leave them laying around for my wife - hoping against all hope that she will take the hint? Or that I bring home workout dvd's that she has said look like something she'd do (and then never sticks with them)? Or am I simply being an insensitive azshole? Where do you draw the line? I agree that he was being insensitive, but had he said other, kinder things to you in the past that you disregarded? Is a man (or woman) supposed to just be happy he has a wife, with no concern for what she does to her body or how she looks? Just live with it, shut up, and be happy? I've worked hard to be in better shape, shouldn't she?


Oh, and this is all hypothetical don't get your panties twisted.

Is your wife obese? Unhealthy? Or is she only carrying a small amount of extra weight?

I don't think it's bad that you are bringing home articles about weight loss. That's a subtle way of getting your feelings across and I would not be upset if my fiance did that. You aren't being insensitive by bringing home DVD's, especially if she has mentioned that it might be something she'd try in the past. What would be crossing a line, for me, is making nasty comments about her weight or insinuating that you're no longer attracted to her. I think the best route for you is to sit down and speak with your wife about your concerns and your feelings! Women want communication and honesty more than anything else.

A few months ago my fiance sat me down and just said, look, you're overweight, unhealthy, and it's not good. He told me that he doesn't want to marry someone and have kids with someone that can't play with the kids, chase them around the backyard or keep up with them. And, he doesn't want to see me die younger than I should because I don't take care of myself now. He said he loves me, and he wants to be together forever, not for 50 years and then see me die. THAT is what we need as women. We need honesty and open communication. So address your concerns in a positive, non-nasty way and you should be all set. If my fiance ever made a comment like the OP said her husband made, we would be done ON THE SPOT... That is crossing such a crazy line. We are already insecure when we're fat. Now I don't expect him to walk on eggshells around me but that is just plain mean.

Of course, I am lucky and I am highly proportionate, overweight by about 50 pounds but still highly proportionate. I do have an hourglass figure, smaller waist and bigger boobs and a bigger butt and hips. He thinks I am drop dead sexy the way I am right now, but he wants me to be HEALTHY. I have a terrible hip condition that leaves me in constant pain and need to drop weight for the pressure to be relieved. This is why he wants me to change. He loves my body, but my constant *****ing about my hip, not so much!

This thread is kinda depressing isn't it? I posted earlier and I'm just so sad (I know I'm a rose colored glasses kinda gal) that people can be so cruel to the people they supposedly love. What have we become.....ugh! SAD!

Perhaps someone who is that unsupportive, rude, or insensitive person will read this stuff and maybe, JUST maybe think before they speak in the future.

Maybe you should show this thread to your husband.
I don't know you or your situation but I would NEVER let someone who is supposed to love and support me, treat me so badly. My mom used to occasionally say "hey I have an extra Weight Watchers points booklet if you wanna check it out" when I was overweight (because I wasn't overweight all of my life and she was concerned I was getting overweight like she was, I guess?) but noone, family or friends, EVER yelled at me or treated me so poorly as the behavior you described from your then-boyfriend. Why would you allow someone who supposedly loves you to treat you like that? That just makes me incredibly sad that people allow themselves to be treated like that.

My most humiliating experience was when I was 23 and I was sitting in the front lobby of an L.A. Weight loss office. A teenager stuck his head in the door and said "Good thing you're in here cuz you sure are fat!!" I just brushed it off but the girl who was sitting at the front desk ran after him and was chasing him down the front sidewalk! A couple of minutes later, I got really upset. What the hell is wrong with some people?