I want him, He doesnt want me :(.. Vent/Rant

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  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    I'm not sure the OP is paying any attention to the posts that are warning her to be less clingy (only responding to the ones which said they got married after a few days or weeks of dating).

    Imagine this post on MFP:
    "Hey, 11 days ago I met this super girl, she is sweet and lovely and she is even a Christian which I really dig. The only thing is, she is talking about commitment and I feel like I hardly even know her. She rings all the time and since we met there hasn't even been 24 hours where I haven't heard from her. I think she expects me to give her constant attention. I'm 32, but I don't know if I'm ready for this kind of commitment yet, let alone know if she would be The One. I mean, I bought a car last year and it took me longer to decide on that! I also like to hang out with my friends and I don't think she approves of them and my drinking and smoking. I know it's only been 11 days but I'm starting to feel really smothered. She talks about having to 'wean herself' from me when I haven't even NOT heard from her in any 24 hour period since we met. What should I do?"

    Sorry OP, I agree with the others. This guy needs some space. If he is into you, he'll be back.

    I agree with a lot of what has been said too, we need to slow down. But I didnt respond to those post because THEY MAKE NO SENSE. Why would i respond to someone talking out of their asz. I only read part of your post because it began to make no sense. You do realize that it is a 50/50 thing he calls me, i call him, he wants to hang out i want to hang out..we hang out. I dont call him everyday like lets ang out i need you i want you. You do know that two people can naturally and organically enjoy one anothers company and want to and choose to be around each other. So all the im stalking him, beating down his door everyday forcing him to hang out is just make believe nonsense from truly delusion and weird people, which is why i ignored it. My only issue with him is we mutually want to see each other daily, we act like a couple. I would label it, he doesnt want to yet. Summarized. Thats All.

    The problem is you aren't having quality time or dates. You are a third wheel at his house with all his buddies. After 2 weeks this is NOT ok, you are setting the premise of this 'possibly soon to be' relationship that you will just hang out. Umm no !!! He needs to take you out. Get to know you and do things with you. I would never consider this 'hanging out' after 2 weeks with a man. He better still be wining and dining me to prove HIS worth. Coming from a once crazy..desperate..doormat you need to calm down. Read 'he's just not that into you' and 'why men love *****es'. And the biggest lesson I have learned is LISTEN WHEN MEN TALK. Trust me. You won't change him. He has to change himself in his own time. If he says he doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't. Trust me. He don't want one with you. You need to get your own life. And one more thing - you aren't basically in a relationship. A man who wants one will ask for one. Learned this the hard way.
  • lildebbie121
    lildebbie121 Posts: 49 Member
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    He sounds like a friend. You deserve a man who really wants to be with you. You will know it because he will call you, make plans with you, and talk about a future with you, and respect you. He will give you the attention you want. Keep your eyes on the Lord and He will bring you His best for you.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    I can not believe some of the trolls & hateful people in this topic. Like really, you are telling the OP to grow up? Are you lot kidding me? I'm kinda sure I walked into kindergarten & then realized this is NORMAL behavior from 'grown adults on the internet".

    Most of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
  • tanniew78
    tanniew78 Posts: 602 Member
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    Don't listen to the haters, girl.


    I think you should just go ahead and propose.

    no no NO.


    Who let Daniel Bryant in here? :laugh:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I can not believe some of the trolls & hateful people in this topic. Like really, you are telling the OP to grow up? Are you lot kidding me? I'm kinda sure I walked into kindergarten & then realized this is NORMAL behavior from 'grown adults on the internet".

    Most of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

    No one is trolling. People sure play fast and loose with that word on this site.
  • LotusFlwr2013
    LotusFlwr2013 Posts: 217 Member
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    LMAO>>>cuckoo clock

    Meantime chick how in the world do you have that much free time??? Work, hobbies, friends, family... anything... you seem more obsessed than in love... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4elno62DUs ... don't hurt him ok???... just kidding I read where it's mutual but seriously if you want to see where he really is make yourself LESS available, no last minute hangs he needs to make proper plans with you ahead of time... just a thought ;-) … good luck
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    I'm not sure the OP is paying any attention to the posts that are warning her to be less clingy (only responding to the ones which said they got married after a few days or weeks of dating).

    Imagine this post on MFP:
    "Hey, 11 days ago I met this super girl, she is sweet and lovely and she is even a Christian which I really dig. The only thing is, she is talking about commitment and I feel like I hardly even know her. She rings all the time and since we met there hasn't even been 24 hours where I haven't heard from her. I think she expects me to give her constant attention. I'm 32, but I don't know if I'm ready for this kind of commitment yet, let alone know if she would be The One. I mean, I bought a car last year and it took me longer to decide on that! I also like to hang out with my friends and I don't think she approves of them and my drinking and smoking. I know it's only been 11 days but I'm starting to feel really smothered. She talks about having to 'wean herself' from me when I haven't even NOT heard from her in any 24 hour period since we met. What should I do?"

    Sorry OP, I agree with the others. This guy needs some space. If he is into you, he'll be back.

    I agree with a lot of what has been said too, we need to slow down. But I didnt respond to those post because THEY MAKE NO SENSE. Why would i respond to someone talking out of their asz. I only read part of your post because it began to make no sense. You do realize that it is a 50/50 thing he calls me, i call him, he wants to hang out i want to hang out..we hang out. I dont call him everyday like lets ang out i need you i want you. You do know that two people can naturally and organically enjoy one anothers company and want to and choose to be around each other. So all the im stalking him, beating down his door everyday forcing him to hang out is just make believe nonsense from truly delusion and weird people, which is why i ignored it. My only issue with him is we mutually want to see each other daily, we act like a couple. I would label it, he doesnt want to yet. Summarized. Thats All.

    The problem is you aren't having quality time or dates. You are a third wheel at his house with all his buddies. After 2 weeks this is NOT ok, you are setting the premise of this 'possibly soon to be' relationship that you will just hang out. Umm no !!! He needs to take you out. Get to know you and do things with you. I would never consider this 'hanging out' after 2 weeks with a man. He better still be wining and dining me to prove HIS worth. Coming from a once crazy..desperate..doormat you need to calm down. Read 'he's just not that into you' and 'why men love *****es'. And the biggest lesson I have learned is LISTEN WHEN MEN TALK. Trust me. You won't change him. He has to change himself in his own time. If he says he doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't. Trust me. He don't want one with you. You need to get your own life. And one more thing - you aren't basically in a relationship. A man who wants one will ask for one. Learned this the hard way.

    ^^^EXCELLENT ADVICE.
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
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    I can not believe some of the trolls & hateful people in this topic. Like really, you are telling the OP to grow up? Are you lot kidding me? I'm kinda sure I walked into kindergarten & then realized this is NORMAL behavior from 'grown adults on the internet".

    Most of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

    No one is trolling. People sure play fast and loose with that word on this site.

    -this

    +every
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    I had this problem in back in high school too. I watched Clueless several times (it was the 90s, it was appropriate), and then I bought new clothes, and I started dating someone else.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I had this problem in back in high school too. I watched Clueless several times (it was the 90s, it was appropriate), and then I bought new clothes, and I started dating someone else.

    Bend and snap!

    ****. That was Legally Blonde, wasn't it?
  • CheriLMT
    CheriLMT Posts: 220 Member
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    Speaking as a stupid woman who just the past year trying to change a guy no not a guy...a little boy into a man....RUN while you still can!!
  • IamSheaMc
    IamSheaMc Posts: 1,310 Member
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    I had this problem in back in high school too. I watched Clueless several times (it was the 90s, it was appropriate), and then I bought new clothes, and I started dating someone else.

    Bend and snap!

    ****. That was Legally Blonde, wasn't it?

    haha yeah that was Legally Blonde
  • IWantToo
    IWantToo Posts: 162
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    I'm not sure the OP is paying any attention to the posts that are warning her to be less clingy (only responding to the ones which said they got married after a few days or weeks of dating).

    Imagine this post on MFP:
    "Hey, 11 days ago I met this super girl, she is sweet and lovely and she is even a Christian which I really dig. The only thing is, she is talking about commitment and I feel like I hardly even know her. She rings all the time and since we met there hasn't even been 24 hours where I haven't heard from her. I think she expects me to give her constant attention. I'm 32, but I don't know if I'm ready for this kind of commitment yet, let alone know if she would be The One. I mean, I bought a car last year and it took me longer to decide on that! I also like to hang out with my friends and I don't think she approves of them and my drinking and smoking. I know it's only been 11 days but I'm starting to feel really smothered. She talks about having to 'wean herself' from me when I haven't even NOT heard from her in any 24 hour period since we met. What should I do?"

    Sorry OP, I agree with the others. This guy needs some space. If he is into you, he'll be back.

    I agree with a lot of what has been said too, we need to slow down. But I didnt respond to those post because THEY MAKE NO SENSE. Why would i respond to someone talking out of their asz. I only read part of your post because it began to make no sense. You do realize that it is a 50/50 thing he calls me, i call him, he wants to hang out i want to hang out..we hang out. I dont call him everyday like lets ang out i need you i want you. You do know that two people can naturally and organically enjoy one anothers company and want to and choose to be around each other. So all the im stalking him, beating down his door everyday forcing him to hang out is just make believe nonsense from truly delusion and weird people, which is why i ignored it. My only issue with him is we mutually want to see each other daily, we act like a couple. I would label it, he doesnt want to yet. Summarized. Thats All.

    The problem is you aren't having quality time or dates. You are a third wheel at his house with all his buddies. After 2 weeks this is NOT ok, you are setting the premise of this 'possibly soon to be' relationship that you will just hang out. Umm no !!! He needs to take you out. Get to know you and do things with you. I would never consider this 'hanging out' after 2 weeks with a man. He better still be wining and dining me to prove HIS worth. Coming from a once crazy..desperate..doormat you need to calm down. Read 'he's just not that into you' and 'why men love *****es'. And the biggest lesson I have learned is LISTEN WHEN MEN TALK. Trust me. You won't change him. He has to change himself in his own time. If he says he doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't. Trust me. He don't want one with you. You need to get your own life. And one more thing - you aren't basically in a relationship. A man who wants one will ask for one. Learned this the hard way.
    HUH? We ONLY spend quality time together.. go out on dates and then enjoy each other company for hours after the date just talking andnd relaxing, getting to know each other. We walked to the park the other night in the middle of the night to play basketball because although i had exercised that day we went out to eat and i felt i ate too much so we went to the park and i won lol(he let me lol) I mean its always just me and him... like i said it was super awkward meeting his friends, cousins etc.. one because it was 2am and wtf is everyone doing out, yes its Saturday night but so what, and 2 cause they were strangers... I DO NOT HANG OUT WITH HIM AND HIS FRIENDS AS A THIRD WHEEL. I DONT KNOW HIS FRIENDS.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
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    OP why do you ignore all my questions? :huh: I am giving you constant attention and you ignore me. :grumble:

    You must not be bi. :sad:
  • Laura42012
    Laura42012 Posts: 180 Member
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    Aside from saying grace before eating, you guys don't really sound all that compatible. Yeah, it sucks to want someone who doesn't want you as much as you want them, but it sounds like he's telling you straight up you're not what he's looking for.

    I agree. If your main enjoyments aren't the same, I don't think you're going to find bliss together.
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
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    OP why do you ignore all my questions? :huh: I am giving you constant attention and you ignore me. :grumble:

    You must not be bi. :sad:

    Whoa... now this thread is more interesting!
  • sdfkjsadglkj11
    sdfkjsadglkj11 Posts: 211 Member
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    You should start drinking and smoking.
    LOLLLLLL

    and above im very clingy which is why i wont see him tonight (maybe) lol seriouly i wont i saw him last night and we have plans tomorrow i need to ween off of him lmaooo

    Maybe? Don't see him tonight. Have you ever heard the phrase, "Familiarity breeds contempt." ? If you see him too much, there will be nothing to look forward to and you'll soon be sick of each other. You'll be sick of his moods teetering, and he'll be sick of your clingy-ness. I see my boyfriend at the MOST three times a week, because we both work. But when I do see him, we have the best time together and appreciate each other. I've been with him almost a year, and we're committed, but hell, we haven't even had sex yet. You need to slow waaaaay down, especially if he's telling you to take it slower. He might say something different when he's thinking with his other head (you know what I mean), but you really do need to follow his hint and slow down, lady. :P
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,302 Member
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    So this is what true love must feel like. Sigh!
  • lindseym1983
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    Stage 5 clinger, please exit to the right and keep on moving because he is not that into you! Sorry!!!
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,302 Member
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    OK let me ask you this, have you exchanged vials of each other's blood? if not, then you may wanna wait a bit.