For those of you that invite others to objectify you:

My goal is to be eye candy for as many women as possible.

When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.

I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.

What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?

I thought you'd be getting more support in this opinion. Apparently not. Most people just aren't thinking that deeply on the meaning of these shallow games but I hear what you're saying loud and clear and I support you. That being stated, whatever anybody else wants to do is fine with me. It's my choice to participate or not and sometimes I do play the "What's the first word you think of" games, but it gets boring quickly. Simple things entertain simple minds. It's great that you're thinking about this stuff at a relatively young age. Stay insightful, stay thoughtful.

See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9,
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time.
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice,
Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high.

But there's just one little thing that really really,
Really really annoying me about you you see,
Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit
But my gosh don't you just know it

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh don't you know it

OP, have you read The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf? I think you'd like. I came across a bit of it today and while not exactly what you are saying here, I just get the sense you'd like it.

Here's one: “Sadly, the signals that allow men and women to find the partners who most please them are scrambled by the sexual insecurity initiated by beauty thinking. A woman who is self-conscious can't relax to let her sensuality come into play. If she is hungry she will be tense. If she is "done up" she will be on the alert for her reflection in his eyes. If she is ashamed of her body, its movement will be stilled. If she does not feel entitled to claim attention, she will not demand that airspace to shine in. If his field of vision has been boxed in by "beauty"--a box continually shrinking--he simply will not see her, his real love, standing right before him.”

Here's another: "Women could probably be trained quite easily to see men first as sexual things. If girls never experienced sexual violence; if a girl's only window on male sexuality were a stream of easily available, well-lit, cheap images of boys slightly older than herself, in their late teens, smiling encouragingly and revealing cuddly erect penises the color of roses or mocha, she might well look at, *kitten* to, and, as an adult, "need" beauty pornography based on the bodies of men. And if those initiating penises were represented to the girl as pneumatically erectible, swerving neither left nor right, tasting of cinnamon or forest berries, innocent of random hairs, and ever ready; if they were presented alongside their measurements, length, and circumference to the quarter inch; if they seemed to be available to her with no troublesome personality attached; if her sweet pleasure seemed to be the only reason for them to exist--then a real young man would probably approach the young woman's bed with, to say the least, a failing heart.”

Regarding those threads: I just think they are so dumb I never go there. But I do get pissy every time I see Diodelcibo posting new pics of his abs and NOT accepting my FR. I like his abs. Does this make me a hypocrite????

When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.

I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.

What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?

I give you a 6 out of 10
wouldn't date
would bang

OP have you read The Female Eunoch? It's a good read. I found it to be very insightful on why some women think the way they do. It actually helped me realize women need to loosen up more. I didn't agree with the whole book, but as I say; insightful.

Don't let these folks get you down... you have made some great points. I applaud you for being young and realizing it's not all about the outside. And don't worry, we'll see what some of these folks who have lost tons of weight and are feeling so full of themselves and think it's cool to put down your post - look like this time next year or so. Bet half of them will be back the size they were or weigh more than they did before.. We'll see how much they'll want to be "objectified" then.

Don't let these folks get you down... you have made some great points. I applaud you for being young and realizing it's not all about the outside. And don't worry, we'll see what some of these folks who have lost tons of weight and are feeling so full of themselves and think it's cool to put down your post - look like this time next year or so. Bet half of them will be back the size they were or weigh more than they did before.. We'll see how much they'll want to be "objectified" then.