When people ask for advice, stop being rude and degrading!

Options
24567…14

Replies

  • jxchambe
    jxchambe Posts: 49 Member
    Options
    I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

    It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.
    One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

    This is not constructive criticism. Whoever this guy was wasn't trying to be helpful. He was being a being a douche.
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    This is going to end well.... just like the other 500 threads that said the same thing.

    If you want to offer 'nice' advice then do it, but you can't control the other people on this site.

    sadly, true.

    Ironically, the stupidest advice I keep seeing is from people who are "halfway there"
  • nrod1988
    nrod1988 Posts: 111 Member
    Options
    sooo true! some people can be rude...
  • Jennifer87401
    Jennifer87401 Posts: 19 Member
    Options
    OMG I KNOW! 150 percent agree!!!
  • samanthajade124
    samanthajade124 Posts: 217 Member
    Options
    I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

    It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

    I have fit people on my friends list as well. I'm not saying that there are people who get offended when they're told they're doing something wrong. There definitely are people like that. But when people asking a legitimate questions get unsolicited rude comments that have nothing to do with their question.... that's not okay in my book.

    To make things easier all around, I'd like to see more "Hey, I noticed you were doing ______. This probably won't for you because _______. I'd recommend you trying something more like _______ because it will help you for these reasons _______" It will help the person in need, by explaining. When people are EDUCATED on why something does or doesn't work... it will eliminate stupid questions. Not all of them. But some!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Options
    I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

    It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.
    One of the first comments is from a guy saying, "Well if you're struggling to eat that many now, then how did you get to big to begin with?? Only saying what people are thinking"

    This is not constructive criticism. Whoever this guy was wasn't trying to be helpful. He was being a being a douche.

    I fail to see how this was douche-y. Honestly, I don't.

    It really is mind-boggling to see someone say they can't manage to eat 1200 cals but yet they are significantly overweight. Maybe that comment set off a light bulb for someone.
  • SabrinaLC
    SabrinaLC Posts: 133 Member
    Options
    It's not just the bigger people that get the negativity.

    I've gotten it quite a bit. It's annoying
  • JaneDough_
    JaneDough_ Posts: 301 Member
    Options
    4shhu3l.jpg
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Options
    I find telling people to
    SHUT THE *kitten* UP
    is much less rude.
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
    Options
    I thought this was a dating site :noway:
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Options
    SHUT THE *kitten* UP


    Um...no.

    Ironic much?
  • Babeskeez
    Babeskeez Posts: 606 Member
    Options
    Dont ask stupid questions :devil:
  • samanthajade124
    samanthajade124 Posts: 217 Member
    Options
    I think what it is is when people ask the same question that has been asked 1000 times before and could easily be found if the person would just do a search and then they could find out that same question has been ask 999 times before and they would find their answer.

    Like the ones where people ask about weight gain during their period... answer is yes we all gain weight during our period, and should go away when period is done.

    Another one is if I lift weights will I look like a man and the answer is .... no not unless you are a man.

    I do find these questions get asked ALOT.

    I understand that some people lack common sense or are too lazy to research something on their own before posting. But rather than being rude or degrading in a reply, it could be simply ignored. Then the poster would HAVE to look it up by themselves.

    But FYI not everyone gains during their "TOM" ... I don't :)
  • ZoeLifts
    ZoeLifts Posts: 10,347 Member
    Options
    You know, there are many different people in this world, some that just want to be told everything they are doing is fine and dandy (no, go ahead and eat only 600-700 calories a day, I support you in this!!), some want to hear the truth, some want to share their knowledge, and some get real sick of repeating themselves. We can't just tiptoe around and hold people's hands as they damage themselves, how would that be right?

    But, all this being said, it is not up to anyone to dictate how other people choose to respond, and it's not up to anyone to dictate how people choose to take that response. It is life, this is a public forum with all sorts on here. From the rude and gross to the ones that think that everything they hear is rude and gross no matter what it is they are hearing.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Options
    I want to be fit. I befriend people who are fit and who listen to fit people. They've got to be doing something right and hopefully I can soak up some of that knowledge and if it is delivered frankly without qualifiers to cushion the blow, even better.

    It's non-fit people who get butthurt when fit people say, 'hey there, you're doing that wrong, do this instead' that are the issue. It's like some people don't want to help themselves or let others help them.

    You might be saying something intelligent or something moronic, but I dont know if you wrote gibberish or quoted Shakespeare. All I can focus on is your schlong avatar, LOL! At first I was repulsed but then I was intrigued. Reminds me of Ned Flanders when he was in the shower on the The Simpson's.
  • ZoeLifts
    ZoeLifts Posts: 10,347 Member
    Options
    SHUT THE *kitten* UP


    Um...no.

    Ironic much?

    My thoughts exactly. This is do as I say, not as I do, right?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Options
    In my experience, the actual rude posts are rare. Sarcasm, however, is rampant. The difference appears to be subjective, though. What one person thinks is rude and hurtful, another might think is direct and humourous.

    "We're all different", as they say.
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
    Options
    I understand that. But I'm pretty sure this site was created to help people. Not have people that are trying to change feel bad because people lack common courtesy to keep their mouths shut if they don't have anything nice to say.

    I don't think that having something "nice" to say is always helpful. Sometimes a helpful response is dissenting, because it's not really offering support to tell someone it's ok to continue starving, overtraining, or otherwise keeping up harmful behavior.

    Reading posts on a forum is not as good as face to face dialogue, because you do not have the benefit of facial expression or voice inflection to tell you how the post was meant. Just because someone disagrees with you, does not mean he/she is being rude or lacking common courtesy. Is it also possible that some of the posts you are thinking of are A) misunderstood by you or B) nothing to do with the OP, but an inside joke between friends on this site?
  • Brittany_Kayy
    Brittany_Kayy Posts: 262 Member
    Options
    Can't we all just get along? :laugh: :wink:

    Oh, well heres some :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: for anyone who needs it today :drinker: <( thats water of course)
This discussion has been closed.

Categories