Absence Before Marriage
Replies
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You are far more closed minded than many of the Christians I know! Your problem is that you cannot understand how to parent a child with morals and values based on God while not "burdening" them or making them feel judged, condemned, and unloved. You do realize that many unwanted pregnancies happen to those who are educated on sex and contraception, right?I do think this makes me a better parent than you. To subject my children to the burden of an unwanted pregnancy for the sake of a religious belief would be despicable. Sorry.
How you can believe yourself a better parent than I without knowing me or my children is mind boggling. You are far more judgy than those you've been calling out here.
You would not provide your children with birth control. I would. That is the basis of my comparison.0 -
You would not provide your children with birth control. I would. That is the basis of my comparison.
And you believe that makes you a better parent?0 -
You are far more closed minded than many of the Christians I know! Your problem is that you cannot understand how to parent a child with morals and values based on God while not "burdening" them or making them feel judged, condemned, and unloved. You do realize that many unwanted pregnancies happen to those who are educated on sex and contraception, right?I do think this makes me a better parent than you. To subject my children to the burden of an unwanted pregnancy for the sake of a religious belief would be despicable. Sorry.
How you can believe yourself a better parent than I without knowing me or my children is mind boggling. You are far more judgy than those you've been calling out here.
You would not provide your children with birth control. I would. That is the basis of my comparison.
That doesn't make someone a bad parent, my mom never gave me or my sister birth control either...it's not like not being on birth control is going to change anything. Honestly that's just going to make most young people think they now don't need to use condoms while having sex, because many teens don't get it0 -
You would not provide your children with birth control. I would. That is the basis of my comparison.
And you believe that makes you a better parent?
Well, I guess I can stand to say it three times.0 -
I was celibate until I found my ultimate partner. He is my first and my only. I chose to be celibate for spiritual reasons and not religious, so I had no issues breaking my celibacy without being married.
There needs to be a good reason or reasons to choose celibate and if the only focus is to wait to be married, the reason, I believe, is not substantial enough to make it count. Most adults, however, have good, solid reasons.
Because I was celibate, I did not date. I did not want to have to choose on a daily basis to practice abstinance. That would be a drag for me and my 'date'.0 -
I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.
So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.
Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,
There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.
Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?
I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.
I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.
I do really agree with you here. I think there are levels, since like I said earlier murder is worse then stealing, but the bottom line is that Jesus died for all of them. I was just trying to defend another poster haha, but I definitely see where you are coming from.0 -
I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.
So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.
Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,
There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.
Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?
I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.
I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.
So Hitler and the girl who is shoplifting makeup are on the same level?
No, I don't think so, but both sinned, and both need to be forgiven.0 -
Back in to see if my suspicions on where this thread was headed were confirmed... lol.0
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Tbh would be ideal if she's a heavenly blessed beauty
That feel knowing ur wife isn't a sloot
You can always teach her the physical stuff nomsayin
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I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.
So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.
Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,
There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.
Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?
I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.
I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.
My church taught me that God doesn't hate, that He can't hate so I pretty much just blacked out the rest of what you said.
Well the Bible says that God hates sin...Hosea 9:15
“Because of all their wickedness in Gilgal, I hated them there. Because of their sinful deeds, I will drive them out of my house. I will no longer love them; all their leaders are rebellious.0 -
You would not provide your children with birth control. I would. That is the basis of my comparison.
And you believe that makes you a better parent?
If you know your child is having unprotected sex and you refuse to provide contraceptives because of your own personal religious belief, then yes it kind of does make you the worse parent. You don't have to like or approve of it -- but if your minor child is engaging in irresponsible behavior and you do nothing about it... yeah. Not good.0 -
that was my original goal when I was a teen...then at 15 I met my boyfriend (going on 9 years next month!) & we dated for about a year and half & lets just say, i eventually caved in & threw that goal out the window at 17 lol, & i dont regret it at all.......& we're still not married!
but I have the utmost respect for women who choice to do that!!!!!!0 -
Tbh would be ideal if she's a heavenly blessed beauty
That feel knowing ur wife isn't a sloot
You can always teach her the physical stuff nomsayin
No, I have no idea what you are saying. Could you please explain further?0 -
I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.
So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.
Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,
There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.
Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?
I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.
I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.
My church taught me that God doesn't hate, that He can't hate so I pretty much just blacked out the rest of what you said.
Oh honey you need to read your Bible. God hates all sin. It says it all over the Bible. I can give you some examples in private if you need them. He loves US but (use whatever word you like) He abhors, hates. dislikes all sin. Hate means to 'dislike intensely, loathe' and despise something and if you don't think God hates sin then I would dig into the Word and do some research dear one.0 -
I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.
So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.
Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,
There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.
Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?
I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.
I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.
My church taught me that God doesn't hate, that He can't hate so I pretty much just blacked out the rest of what you said.
Oh honey you need to read your Bible. God hates all sin. It says it all over the Bible. I can give you some examples in private if you need them. He loves US but (use whatever word you like) He abhors, hates. dislikes all sin. Hate means to 'dislike intensely, loathe' and despise something and if you don't think God hates sin then I would dig into the Word and do some research dear one.
I read it as them saying He hated the sinner not the sin itself my apologies but don't you ever talk down to me like I'm stupid. I know what hate means.0 -
I think this whole name-calling is ridiculous, why can we not have an adult conversation without resorting to second grade tactics?
You just called me a second grader? Reported.
Do you need to go to the Principle's office?0 -
You would not provide your children with birth control. I would. That is the basis of my comparison.
And you believe that makes you a better parent?
If you know your child is having unprotected sex and you refuse to provide contraceptives because of your own personal religious belief, then yes it kind of does make you the worse parent. You don't have to like or approve of it -- but if your minor child is engaging in irresponsible behavior and you do nothing about it... yeah. Not good.
^^^agree 1000000% kids are gonna do what they want to do regardless (doesnt mean you justify it) so why not at least help them be protected?? My mother put me on BC when I was 17 not because she was giving me permission to have sex but she knew that i was gonna do what i wanted anyway & she knew she didnt want to be a grandmother in her early 40's....0 -
I am all for waiting. My husband and I are each others only lover. We feel its a very special gift to each other and have never regretted it.
If someone won't wait for you then they are in the relationship for the wrong reason.
Good luck to you dear. This is a tough time to hold true to your values but you can do it! God bless you.
^^ this!!! we're each others first (& only!) too...& we feel its a special gift we've given each other also
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I can't remember what page it was on (it was lost in the madness), but I'm really not digging the implication that I'm not "pure" because I've had sex outside of marriage. While I know and respect women who choose to wait (even if I don't understand it), I really have to wonder about people who define purity of self in this way.
Some of these definitions of purity seem to be wrapped in religious workings. That's great for you, but I'm going to continue to be a godless heathen.
Also, this thread is really making me appreciate my hippie mother who helped me get birth control. It was initially for reasons other than controlling birth, but she didn't turn all judgmental when I started having sex.0 -
I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.
So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.
Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,
There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.
Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?
I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.
I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.
So Hitler and the girl who is shoplifting makeup are on the same level?
No, I don't think so, but both sinned, and both need to be forgiven.
So how many Hail Marys does Hitler say versus the shoplifting girl?0 -
I can't remember what page it was on (it was lost in the madness), but I'm really not digging the implication that I'm not "pure" because I've had sex outside of marriage. While I know and respect women who choose to wait (even if I don't understand it), I really have to wonder about people who define purity of self in this way.
Some of these definitions of purity seem to be wrapped in religious workings. That's great for you, but I'm going to continue to be a godless heathen.
Also, this thread is really making me appreciate my hippie mother who helped me get birth control. It was initially for reasons other than controlling birth, but she didn't turn all judgmental when I started having sex.
There are a lot of women in the west who are thankful for their hippie mothers. Mine was an ahippie and quite uncomfortable single father, but I am thankful for him, too.0 -
Tbh would be ideal if she's a heavenly blessed beauty
That feel knowing ur wife isn't a sloot
You can always teach her the physical stuff nomsayin
No, I have no idea what you are saying. Could you please explain further?
Chicken0 -
If you know your child is having unprotected sex and you refuse to provide contraceptives because of your own personal religious belief, then yes it kind of does make you the worse parent. You don't have to like or approve of it -- but if your minor child is engaging in irresponsible behavior and you do nothing about it... yeah. Not good.
You're assuming that I am doing nothing but telling them to pray. I can tell them where and how they can get their own contraceptives without handing it to them. I can explain that I can't in good conscience provide it for them. Hopefully by the time this is even an issue, they've come to respect me for my beliefs and know it's because I love them and believe it's my job to raise them in a way I believe is pleasing to God.
You may think less of me as a parent, but my ultimate goal in life is to lead it the way I believe God would want me to. I get that not everyone is a Christian and feels this way, but this doesn't make me a "worse parent".0 -
I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.
So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.
Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,
There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.
Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?
I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.
I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.
So Hitler and the girl who is shoplifting makeup are on the same level?
No, I don't think so, but both sinned, and both need to be forgiven.
So how many Hail Marys does Hitler say versus the shoplifting girl?
That's Catholics hun.0 -
My current and soon-to-be-ex husband and I were abstinent for two years prior to our marriage- though neither of us were virgins. One thing we learned on our wedding night unfortunately, is that we are completely incompatible sexually. We hate having sex with each other. Turns out we really would've been better off just being friends- because a marriage with no passion is miserable. And so we are in the process of getting a divorce. Don't get me wrong- there were many many other problems, like the fact that he was emotionally and verbally abusive, but if I would've known that the sex was going to be horrible (and yes, we tried communicating what we both liked and wanted... it just never clicked) I wouldn't have married him in the first place.0
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While I wouldn't mind scouring my brain with an SOS pad to rid myself of the memories of my ex-boyfriend in bed, I like to think every time my new boyfriend (future husband) and I have sex it's a special moment. Way more so than the write-offs of my past, hahaha.
And for the record, I don't think waiting would have worked. What if I married boyfriend #1- then I'd have slept with him and have him as an ex-husband too, which wouldn't be pleasant... you can't undo the past. You live and learn from it, so try not to let past sexual experiences haunt you in a negative manner.0 -
I'm finding a lot of disrespectful comments to people's beliefs on this thread. All of you who are engaged in attacking should be ashamed. Your beliefs no one has the right to make you defend them. I would refrain from commenting further.0
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^^^agree 1000000% kids are gonna do what they want to do regardless (doesnt mean you justify it) so why not at least help them be protected?? My mother put me on BC when I was 17 not because she was giving me permission to have sex but she knew that i was gonna do what i wanted anyway & she knew she didnt want to be a grandmother in her early 40's....
I don't buy in to this mentality. I know my children will probably drink before they're 21, but I"m not going to provide them alcohol in my home just to keep them safe and off the road. Just because we think kids are going to do something anyway, does not mean we should assist in helping them.0 -
I wouldn't marry someone w/o a 'test drive'...as for the religious aspect I guess I'm off the hook, being Pagan.0
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I feel like someone setting the rules before marriage is gonna do the same after marriage. While the decision to sleep together should obviously be mutual, to arbitrarily decide what you as a couple will and won't do seems selfish.0
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