Absence Before Marriage

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  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
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    I was about to attack, and then chose not to. There is just something about religion that is hateful...and easy to give people the jitters.
    YOU see something about religion that gives you jitters and makes you see hate. Do you not see the "hateful" comments in this thread by non-religious people? The thought of handing my 13 year old son a condom gives me the jitters.

    How about the thought of holding his hand through birth classes.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I'm finding a lot of disrespectful comments to people's beliefs on this thread. All of you who are engaged in attacking should be ashamed. Your beliefs no one has the right to make you defend them. I would refrain from commenting further.

    I was about to attack, and then chose not to. There is just something about religion that is hateful...and easy to give people the jitters.

    It may make you feel uncomfortable and thats fine, but I think many people find solace in their beliefs and religion. I just think it's wrong to call someone out on their beliefs or preferences because one does not agree. Although I dont really believe Joseph Smith read the world of God in a hat that doesnt mean I would ever argue with someone from the LDS to make them prove he was a prophet. In fact, the LDS has some beautiful tenants and some questionable, but I still respect them.
  • JennyLisT
    JennyLisT Posts: 402 Member
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    I feel like someone setting the rules before marriage is gonna do the same after marriage. While the decision to sleep together should obviously be mutual, to arbitrarily decide what you as a couple will and won't do seems selfish.

    How? I make no apologies- I refuse to be in a sexless relationship. I'm not saying it needs to be my way and on my schedule, but I see no reason to be in a relationship that denies a form of intimacy that I love.

    I also acknowledge that there are forms of intimacy besides sex, and those are wonderful too.
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
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    Maybe the little girl stealing make up in his story was Catholic...also pretty sure that Hitler was Roman Catholic and was also an alter boy so if the shoe fits.
    [/quote]

    You sure are augmentative.

    36i1tp.jpg
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
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    it is called harm reduction.
    And isn't abstinence the best form of safety?

    By this logic people should abstain from everything. There are all sorts of crazies on the subway....I should just stop taking it. I shouldn't run cause I MIGHT get arthritis in my knees. I should never say what I feel so that I never engage in diagreement. I should never even get into a relationship because I MIGHT get my heart broken.

    38716033.jpg

    That would make sense, if every behavior had the exact same level of consequence. Sex and running lead to very different things. :wink:
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    so dont help them...just let them get pregnant right???

    Again, you believe that because I won't "help them get contraception" that I"d be the cause of the pregnancy. That's false. Their choice to have sex would be the cause. I've had conversations with my grown sons about this. They didn't need me to help them get contraception, and no one got anyone pregnant.
  • MaydayParadeGirl
    MaydayParadeGirl Posts: 190 Member
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    Maybe the little girl stealing make up in his story was Catholic...also pretty sure that Hitler was Roman Catholic and was also an alter boy so if the shoe fits.

    You sure are augmentative.

    36i1tp.jpg
    [/quote]

    I'm just saying, they probably made that saying because of the fact that they knew ahead of time that Hitler was raised Catholic. I'm not the one running all over this forum trying to educate people who already know what you're telling them :)
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
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    It does. What is most important to you, your child's well-being or sinning.
    The "highest good" is my relationship with God and my eternal life and that of my children. Period.
    Would you rather see your daughter, I don't know, give up college, be a burden to your family, raise a child while struggling to educate herself/hold down a job, or, I don't know, buy her a pack of condoms?
    I would hate to see my daughter get pregnant, drop out of college, and struggle, but those are choices she made. If my greatest goal in life is to have eternal life with God, then every choice I make has to be one I believe will get me there. I would hope that the years I have with my children leading up to their decision to have sex, will give them the "tools" they need to handle the situation well.
    Would you deny your kid if they came to you?
    Like I said, my children would never come to me for contraception. Three are grown and out of the house, and it was never an issue.

    "If my greatest goal in life is to have eternal life with God, then every choice I make has to be one I believe will get me there"

    regardless of the needs of your daughter. Damn.
  • bio01979
    bio01979 Posts: 313
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    I'm finding a lot of disrespectful comments to people's beliefs on this thread. All of you who are engaged in attacking should be ashamed. Your beliefs no one has the right to make you defend them. I would refrain from commenting further.

    I was about to attack, and then chose not to. There is just something about religion that is hateful...and easy to give people the jitters.

    It may make you feel uncomfortable and thats fine, but I think many people find solace in their beliefs and religion. I just think it's wrong to call someone out on their beliefs or preferences because one does not agree. Although I dont really believe Joseph Smith read the world of God in a hat that doesnt mean I would ever argue with someone from the LDS to make them prove he was a prophet. In fact, the LDS has some beautiful tenants and some questionable, but I still respect them.

    I never understood why it is ok to bash people who are religious. I don't think it is acceptable for people who follow a religion to bash/judge or hate others for any reason and I also think it is unnacceptable for those that are not religious to do the same

    personally I am not religious, never will be - there are too many religious beliefs that I vehemently disagree with. But I don't think it is ok to ridicule or bash those that have religious beliefs - whatever they may be :)

    so I am with you on this one :)
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
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    6cd74_memes-i-drew-you-a-picture-of-all-the-people-who-care.jpg
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
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    regardless of the needs of your daughter. Damn.

    The "need" for my daughter to have sex before marriage? That's not a need.

    Take out that maternity cover, then.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    I never understood why it is ok to bash people who are religious.
    It's equally as bad to bash those who aren't religious. I don't really understand why we need to bash each other at all. I wish more people knew how to debate or discuss their differences without bashing, insulting, or claiming to be better than the other. If we focused more on our similarities, and less on our differences, we'd all be better off.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I feel like someone setting the rules before marriage is gonna do the same after marriage. While the decision to sleep together should obviously be mutual, to arbitrarily decide what you as a couple will and won't do seems selfish.

    I don't think OP is setting rules for the relationship, but for herself. I think that if she can do that and feels like her virginity is a special gift for her future husband, the man she eventually marries will most likely have the same thought process and that will be one of many things that would make them compatible. I wouldn't consider wanting to save yourself for marriage to be selfish.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    The "need" for my daughter to have sex before marriage? That's not a need.
    Take out that maternity cover, then.

    Right, because every daughter whose parents don't provide her with contraception ends up pregnant.
  • MaydayParadeGirl
    MaydayParadeGirl Posts: 190 Member
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    NVM figured out what was going on again :)
  • stetienne
    stetienne Posts: 560 Member
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    I feel like someone setting the rules before marriage is gonna do the same after marriage. While the decision to sleep together should obviously be mutual, to arbitrarily decide what you as a couple will and won't do seems selfish.

    How? I make no apologies- I refuse to be in a sexless relationship. I'm not saying it needs to be my way and on my schedule, but I see no reason to be in a relationship that denies a form of intimacy that I love.

    I also acknowledge that there are forms of intimacy besides sex, and those are wonderful too.

    I think we're on the same side here...if a person decides (on his or her own) to wait until marriage, then I wouldn't be surprised if they keep making arbitrary rules, without their partner's considerations, after marriage as well. First it's "no sex until marriage" and then eventually it's "only on Saturdays" or "only with the lights off" or "no kitchen appliances, please"...where does it end?
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
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    The "need" for my daughter to have sex before marriage? That's not a need.
    Take out that maternity cover, then.

    Right, because every daughter whose parents don't provide her with contraception ends up pregnant.

    If my daughter asks for my signature I am not going to say no. Simples.
  • stetienne
    stetienne Posts: 560 Member
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    I feel like someone setting the rules before marriage is gonna do the same after marriage. While the decision to sleep together should obviously be mutual, to arbitrarily decide what you as a couple will and won't do seems selfish.

    I don't think OP is setting rules for the relationship, but for herself. I think that if she can do that and feels like her virginity is a special gift for her future husband, the man she eventually marries will most likely have the same thought process and that will be one of many things that would make them compatible. I wouldn't consider wanting to save yourself for marriage to be selfish.

    Good explanation.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
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    it is called harm reduction.
    And isn't abstinence the best form of safety?

    By this logic people should abstain from everything. There are all sorts of crazies on the subway....I should just stop taking it. I shouldn't run cause I MIGHT get arthritis in my knees. I should never say what I feel so that I never engage in diagreement. I should never even get into a relationship because I MIGHT get my heart broken.

    38716033.jpg

    That would make sense, if every behavior had the exact same level of consequence. Sex and running lead to very different things. :wink:

    my point is that abstaining from risky situations doesn't make sense. You would need to isolate yourself for a long time. The best form of harm reduction is knowledge. Offering them the CHOICE of abstinence is totally okay, if they wanna abstain, cool! If they wanna have sex, show them their options!
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    Options
    It does. What is most important to you, your child's well-being or sinning.
    The "highest good" is my relationship with God and my eternal life and that of my children. Period.
    Would you rather see your daughter, I don't know, give up college, be a burden to your family, raise a child while struggling to educate herself/hold down a job, or, I don't know, buy her a pack of condoms?
    I would hate to see my daughter get pregnant, drop out of college, and struggle, but those are choices she made. If my greatest goal in life is to have eternal life with God, then every choice I make has to be one I believe will get me there. I would hope that the years I have with my children leading up to their decision to have sex, will give them the "tools" they need to handle the situation well.
    Would you deny your kid if they came to you?
    Like I said, my children would never come to me for contraception. Three are grown and out of the house, and it was never an issue.

    "If my greatest goal in life is to have eternal life with God, then every choice I make has to be one I believe will get me there"

    regardless of the needs of your daughter. Damn.

    right...i cringe. Meet my dad, but internet form and I think she is female.

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