Minor rant

This is jealousy, pure and simple. She's trying to make you feel insecure and make herself feel better. She also might have some boundary issues. Asking to see a heavier pic of you after you said you didn't like to show people old pics is crossing the line.

I relocated out of state for a job about a year and a half ago. Nobody in this office has ever known me to be overweight, although I have shared with a few people my weight loss journey.

One woman who I normally get a long great with asked to see a picture of the overweight me. I really don't like showing those to people, and told her so, but pulled one out anyways off my phone.

She said, "Wow you look beautiful there. You actually look better with a little weight on you than you do now."

Ouch.

Hello - I was over 200 lbs in that picture. I did not feel beautiful, was not healthy, and was eating like crap. I personally don't think ANYBODY looks good with excess fat on them, and I am not an exception.

She then started asking others to see if they shared the same opinion - nobody would touch that one with a 10 foot pole, especially the men.


She herself is a very fit person, eats right and exercises, so I know this didn't stem from jealosy - I think she was just being honest. Maybe she was trying to make me feel better about showing her that picture, but in my head all it did was confuse the hell out of me.

I know other people's opinions shouldn't matter, but I would be lying if it didn't hurt my feelings. The message I got from that was that even though I'm now healthy, have more energy and can perform physical feats that I couldn't before, I look better when I'm pudgy, squishy, can't do a push up to save my life because I'm too heavy, and can't fit into normal sized clothes.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

I find it hilarious that you see me as result off too much cardio and undereating.

I haven't done pure cardio in about 3 years. I lift heavy 3x a week, incorporating free weights and body weight training.

I eat about 2200 calories a day.

Go ahead and keep defending your choice to skinny/body shame somebody. Better yet, I would love to see you do it to somebody in real life. Let me know how that black eye works for you.

Actually my good friend's mother was super thin (she WAS a bit thin..not like the OP, REALLY sickly thin-but had NO Ed, just lady troubles) and my other friend (who was not thin) would constantly tell her how "skinny" she was, and say things like "you make me sick, you can eat whatever you want and you're soo SKINNY", the mother finally told her that she didn't need to eat so much because she was fat..and the chick got offended...it's exactly the same thing. Telling someone they're too skinny is just as offensive as telling someone they're too fat to some people. I'm a tall person (5'11") and have been a healthy 135-140ish and if someone wants to tell me I'm too skinny I'm the type that will laugh and tell them they're too fat (because, lets be honest, it's either ppl with weight to lose or those with low self esteem who try to hurt others to make themselves feel better that say things like this). Everyone here would have a problem if the OP came on their rant and said they had flabby arms, cottage cheese thighs, etc..but you guys can't even see that saying something insulting to someone of normal weight is rude..shame

In...

...to learn more about people who actually throw punches over being told that they may be a little underweight..

(I've always been told that I wouldn't say in person what I say on the forums...which I believe to be totally untrue and am actually more outspoken IRL...but if there are people out there who routinely throw punches over stuff like this, maybe I need to reconsider...for my own physical well-being.)

It's not different than achieving a six pack. A six pack is not an indicator of health either, and can only be achieved depending on your body type. However, it doesn't seem to induce the anorexia scare that the thigh gap does.

I think she might have just been expressing her honest opinion obviously that doesn't make it okay or tactful. I think a good friend/ family member should pull someone aside to discuss it, not really sure how close you are to her. And I also don't think that kind of behavior belongs in the work place.

However I know from experience when family or friends lose a lot of weight that if we think it looks unhealthy, we will bring it up out of nothing but pure concern. Please try not to feel like anyone is judging you or your body. It seems like the comments here are coming out of concern. Try not to be so defensive about it. I mean if you are truly happy and comfortable with your body, then there is nothing to be defensive about. Just be happy that you are part of community where people care and will speak up if they think something might be wrong.

Thanks everybody for the reassurance. You all are the best. She doesn't strike me as the jealous or catty type at all, which is why it hurt my feelings as much as it did, and caught me by surprise.