Give people REALLY bad advice!!!

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  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
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    Best thread in a while.

    One of my personal favorites is giving up food in order to have 2 protein shakes a day, yes this is something I definitely want to do the rest of my life! Let's not forget if you eat under 1200 calories one day you'll go into starvation mode.

    You know what is better than protein shakes?


    Beer. Just down them with steak.

    Wait, I actually meant that! :drinker:

    But think of the poor animals!!!!


    Its not poor at all. I like to think those animals are suicidal (why else would they be so relaxed near a butcher?) and by killing them, we're saving them from going to animal hell because suicide is a sin and getting killed in the line of duty earns them a place in heaven with high class strippers.

    Now you see I've never looked at it like that, i bow down to your wisdom ;-)
  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
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    Don't do cardio, to much makes you fat.
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
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    Best thread in a while.

    One of my personal favorites is giving up food in order to have 2 protein shakes a day, yes this is something I definitely want to do the rest of my life! Let's not forget if you eat under 1200 calories one day you'll go into starvation mode.

    You know what is better than protein shakes?


    Beer. Just down them with steak.

    Wait, I actually meant that! :drinker:

    EPIC FAIL! This is excellent advice! =)
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Best thread in a while.

    One of my personal favorites is giving up food in order to have 2 protein shakes a day, yes this is something I definitely want to do the rest of my life! Let's not forget if you eat under 1200 calories one day you'll go into starvation mode.

    You know what is better than protein shakes?


    Beer. Just down them with steak.

    Wait, I actually meant that! :drinker:

    But think of the poor animals!!!!


    Its not poor at all. I like to think those animals are suicidal (why else would they be so relaxed near a butcher?) and by killing them, we're saving them from going to animal hell because suicide is a sin and getting killed in the line of duty earns them a place in heaven with high class strippers.

    I only go for the rich bourgeois animals as a way of saving the proletarian animals from the built in economic violence that is inherent in the system.
  • cstoney2013
    cstoney2013 Posts: 167 Member
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    -Since no one pays attention to other people in the locker room, all gyms should have co-ed locker rooms.


    Squats are bad for you, you will destroy your back, don't do them....
  • dixiewk
    dixiewk Posts: 8
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    Go vegan, 'cause nothing vegan is unhealthy.
    Everyone you know wants to hear the details of your weight loss plans and progress.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
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    mfp is not a health site its a free dating service
  • ewartluft
    ewartluft Posts: 79 Member
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    Running long distances and hardcore Plyo are the only ways you can get in shape. If your knees hurt so bad the next day that you can barely walk it means you did it right-they'll get used to it eventually!
  • eahill4
    eahill4 Posts: 60 Member
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    during 'relations' with a partner, call them by a different name to intensify the experience.
    LMAO... It's always worked for me.:explode:
  • Tessyloowhoo
    Tessyloowhoo Posts: 504
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    "don't stop" is always a good safe word.
    for the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • skygoddess86
    skygoddess86 Posts: 487 Member
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    Always spell the word "lose" like this: "loose." It will make you look really smart. Don't lose weight. Loose weight. :tongue:

    This^^^^
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    during 'relations' with a partner, call them by a different name to intensify the experience.

    During "relations" with a partner, whisper in their ear "I have AIDS" and then try to finish the "relations". Its good workout.
  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
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    Always remember to change to some restrictive fad diet or the other at least every 2 weeks, that's long enough to see if it works and besides keeping your body guessing is good!
  • joe2626
    joe2626 Posts: 123 Member
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    Always ask for exercise program suggestions then completely ignore the good advice, while half-heartedly starting a program that will be of minimal help towards reaching your goals.

    Post a similar update 2 weeks later saying you're not seeing results and require more advice.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Don't listen to people who disagree with you or who don't run their words through piles of unicorn poop - they're just being haters.

    People who say sugar and wheat are okay and refuse to demonize foods are all working for the wheat and sugar companies.
  • stillnot2late
    stillnot2late Posts: 385 Member
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    Always spell the word "lose" like this: "loose." It will make you look really smart. Don't lose weight. Loose weight. :tongue:

    It's an epidemic of using the wrong words in the world now.
  • Tessyloowhoo
    Tessyloowhoo Posts: 504
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    Doing curls in the squat rack will make all the other lifters respect you...
  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
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    Always remember NOBODY has ever gone through the journey, so they know nothing, your the first one ever to do this and ALWAYS know what's best!
  • stillnot2late
    stillnot2late Posts: 385 Member
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    Always post how many calories you burn during sex..then eat back those cals.

    Good grief, that's funny
  • Tessyloowhoo
    Tessyloowhoo Posts: 504
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    Planet fitness is totally a good gym to join to build muscle.

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