Women in relationships aren't allowed to have male friends?

Options
1…78101213…25

Replies

  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Options
    I just realized that I havent had a RL female friend in my adult life that I didnt want to bang. Hmmm.

    I can honestly say that some of my most amazing friends have been females. My best friend for majority of my stay in US was a girl and I met her (now husband) and became his best friend and his best man but he always used to joke that I shoulda been her best man or something since I'm closer to her. Her and I used to hangout almost daily when after work I'd goto her work to hang with her while she cleaned up.

    I think its very healthy to have non-sexual mentality towards cool female friends. All my friends on MFP and I have a non-sexual relationship and I think that has also made me a better person.
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    Options
    oie_br.gif

    The things I'd do to this man...

    Him and his "happy little tree".

    My ex would get mad when I watched PBS, mostly because he knew that when I would jump his bones after I was really thinking of Bob Ross.
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    Options
    If you have to isolate your husband or wife to ensure they remain faithful, just break up now because that sounds like an exhausing and miserable way to live. My husband has lady friends and I have male friends. I trust him because I have no reason not to.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    I just realized that I havent had a RL female friend in my adult life that I didnt want to bang. Hmmm.

    I can honestly say that some of my most amazing friends have been females. My best friend for majority of my stay in US was a girl and I met her (now husband) and became his best friend and his best man but he always used to joke that I shoulda been her best man or something since I'm closer to her. Her and I used to hangout almost daily when after work I'd goto her work to hang with her while she cleaned up.

    I think its very healthy to have non-sexual mentality towards cool female friends. All my friends on MFP and I have a non-sexual relationship and I think that has also made me a better person.
    I have a friend whose husband used to take a work bus trip every year from Boston to Buffalo (when I lived there) to see the Bills/Pats game. And every year that I lived there, I would go pick him up and we would hang out the night before the game. It was acually his wife's idea that we get together while he was there. A couple times, his work friends came out, too, but once we just went back to my house and had pizza and that year, a local MALE friend of mine (single at the time -- married now and I'm also friends with his wife) came over and it was just the three of us for the evening.

    My Boston friend's wife calls me his mistress and says he's my boy toy.

    *shrug*

    I guess we're not adults.
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
    Options
    I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't fuc@ed yet.

    Lol. This is what my husband says. I don't have any male friends (in real life) either....that would not go over well here. And no, not because he's insecure. He says he does not trust that a guy friend would never want/try anything more. FTR, I don't care if he has female friends. But he doesn't anyway.
    But does he trust that you would say no? Because that's what matters.

    A man can try something with you all day long. If you say no, then what difference does it make?

    I would certainly end that kind of friendship because that friend is disrespectful. But what your SO is actually saying is that he doesn't think you are capable of saying no when propositioned for sex.

    I have a different take on this if we're talking about married couples. Men are very territorial by nature. Sometimes, the ire over this sort of thing is not about insecurity at all. My parents have been happily married for 36 years, and if my dad knew some other guy was hitting on my mom on a regular basis, knowing that she's married, he would take it upon himself to settle the issue. It's not because he thinks my mom would cheat on him. It's because she's his wife, and he will not tolerate a man knowingly and willfully disrespecting that.

    Why would your mother (or any generic woman in a similar situation ) continue spending time with someone who was doing that?

    I will say this is the better explanation of it, IMO. And as far as it being on a regular basis, sometimes there's a fine line between just playing around and actually flirting/intending more. Can be hard to discern?


    Re: the Miley Cyrus friend, now I wonder how my husband would handle himself if he were just good friends with Halle Berry and she propositioned him for more, LOL
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't fuc@ed yet.

    Lol. This is what my husband says. I don't have any male friends (in real life) either....that would not go over well here. And no, not because he's insecure. He says he does not trust that a guy friend would never want/try anything more. FTR, I don't care if he has female friends. But he doesn't anyway.
    But does he trust that you would say no? Because that's what matters.

    A man can try something with you all day long. If you say no, then what difference does it make?

    I would certainly end that kind of friendship because that friend is disrespectful. But what your SO is actually saying is that he doesn't think you are capable of saying no when propositioned for sex.

    I have a different take on this if we're talking about married couples. Men are very territorial by nature. Sometimes, the ire over this sort of thing is not about insecurity at all. My parents have been happily married for 36 years, and if my dad knew some other guy was hitting on my mom on a regular basis, knowing that she's married, he would take it upon himself to settle the issue. It's not because he thinks my mom would cheat on him. It's because she's his wife, and he will not tolerate a man knowingly and willfully disrespecting that.

    Why would your mother (or any generic woman in a similar situation ) continue spending time with someone who was doing that?

    I will say this is the better explanation of it, IMO. And as far as it being on a regular basis, sometimes there's a fine line between just playing around and actually flirting/intending more. Can be hard to discern?


    Re: the Miley Cyrus friend, now I wonder how my husband would handle himself if he were just good friends with Halle Berry and she propositioned him for more, LOL
    And this is why couples have a list! Five celebrities with whom you get a free pass.

    My main one is Mike Rowe (I don't know if I need any others) and my SO has Salma Hayek and probably Jenna Elfman. Not sure who else.
  • XXElmaXX
    XXElmaXX Posts: 34
    Options
    Am I glad I´m single or what...YES.

    I see nothing wrong with people having friends both female and male friends. All people have to do is be honest and open about their friendship and possible include spouses. Be truthful and respectful of their spouses feelings and of their relationship.

    It doesn´t matter woman or man, bother are just as likely to have an afair.

    If your husband can´t handle you having a coffee with a coworker then he has a problem, you should ask him to cut all friendship to other women if he expects you to avoid communicating with men. I doubt he would like it, there for he can´t be mad or even be jealous.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
    Options
    LOL I have to love that my male friends (many of whom I've known since before we reached puberty) apperantly have no self control and are slimy mindless sexual organs.... I've got to let them know


    Seriously though more then once when hanging with the boys I have been referred to as a boy with boobs. We get drunk we talk stupid stuff plus sports and action movies . I've never cheated on anyone I've dated or when I was married. Its all about trust ..
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    HUH??? I have TONS of guy friends, and even still have friends that I dated before my husband and I met that my husband has met and hung out with as well! My hubby is not jealous AT ALL because he knows I am faithful to him, and he thinks it's a compliment that guys like to hang around with me, including HIS friends. I grew up in the mountains and have always been a total tom boy and have always liked "guy stuff" more than dressing up or barbies.

    On the flip side my hubster also has female friends that I have become friends with, one of whom has become a wonderful friend who, I informed him, I am keeping should we ever get divorced.

    I honestly think jealousy is a mental illness, tied with being an insecure control freak. No thank you.
  • CookNLift
    CookNLift Posts: 3,660 Member
    Options
    my woman isn't allowed to wear anything revealing. she must also cook me dinner daily, massage my feet, and do whatever I say when I say it. She also cannot make eye contact at anyone of the opposite sex.
  • Yodifer
    Yodifer Posts: 87
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options. I'm 32 and I still dont know if this is true or not. I'd like to think it isn't but an overwhelmingly majority of men I know have cheated at one point or another. This is definitely tainted my ability to trust anyone. =(

    I can say I've never cheated, and I would never cheat. It is not worth ruining the lives of my children.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.

    If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.

    If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.

    AGREED! That's BS. Women are JUST as unfaithful as men. I know lots of women who cheat.
  • Yodifer
    Yodifer Posts: 87
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.

    If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.

    AGREED! That's BS. Women are JUST as unfaithful as men. I know lots of women who cheat.

    I'm not saying they dont. I was only referring to my experiences but admittedly trust is something I seriously struggle with everyday. It is not fun.
  • Yodifer
    Yodifer Posts: 87
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.

    If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.

    I would never police anyone's behavior. Totally agreed.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.

    If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.

    It's another quote from the zebra impersonating Chris Rock!
  • XXElmaXX
    XXElmaXX Posts: 34
    Options
    Same here. I hear too many stories of men cheating but very rarely that women cheat.

    I don´t trust men, there for I have been single for 10 years and counting ;)
    My ex cheated on me with our mutual friend, I kicked them both out of my life. I trusted those people. What hurt me the most was the disrespect I was shown, how little I was valued, that I wasn´t worth telling he wanted out before stabbing me in my back for months. She came to our house, had sunday dinner with us all the time they were cheating.
    It would probable not have hurt as much if I hadn´t known her.

    People need to stop playing with other peoples feelings and disrespecting others.

    I have seen too many women get badly hurt because of cheating spouses.

    If you love someone you respect them enough to end it before starting something new.

    Respect, honesty, faithfullness and trust is one of the biggest fondations of a relationship
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.

    If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.

    Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.
  • Yodifer
    Yodifer Posts: 87
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.

    If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.

    Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.

    Well to be fair, it was a man that told me that.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.

    If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.

    Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.

    The dude was talking about himself, for sure.

Categories