Women in relationships aren't allowed to have male friends?
Replies
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I'm a grown woman, I don't respond well to being told what to do. If you can maintain a friendship with the opposite sex without crossing any lines why not? And if lines are crossed then that relationship wasn't meant to be in the first place. Happy people seldom cheat.0
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My best friend is male and has been my bud for 21 years. He is also my husband's best friend. He is a part of the family.
Now other male friends of mine I won't go out to dinner alone with, or to the movies or what have you. But he's my bud. He has a girlfriend he is very happy with. My husband has no problems with us hanging around, even if he can't join us. We call ourselves the 3 amigos. We're the godparents of his child, and he'll be ours.
I'm 36, far old enough to have a male friend and not feel weird about it. We're decades past the awkward stages.0 -
Dear OP:
My experience has been the opposite. I see girls who can do whatever they want, but are sooooo jealously possessive of their mates that the dude can't talk to anyone with a vagina without permission. I have seen this mulitiple times, the most extreme being one in which the man isn't allowed to talk to his own SISTERS.
The gender of the person aint' the problem. It's the insecurity.
Why everyone make everything a gender issue that's not.
Barf.0 -
actually, I DID tell him that evening. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Justin had just moved back to the state and hadn't had a chance to come and see my chickens. SO he texted me and asked if he could stop by, see the chickens ( and ME) and get some eggs. I didn't think anything of it.
Not only would Justin not make a move on me, but he was PISSED when he found out that someone he knows did. I didnt expect a reaction like that from anyone other than my husband.
Chickens, is that what we're calling them now?
Some eggs, that too?
:bigsmile:
LOL!! No, I mean actual chickens, and real eggs.
Untitled by crochetmom2010, on Flickr0 -
No ma'am! I have plenty of male friends, of course they have been past co-workers and new co-workers and the friendship doesn't leave work except for fb. Unless they are also friends with my husband and we have a cookout or something. But I'm good friends with a few males.0
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If I ever had a boyfriend do that to me, I'd tell him to hit the bricks, & we're over. I'd never want to be controlling like that, or have anybody try to control me like that. If I'm in a relationship with someone, they are the only one I'm with, & I wouldn't do anything with anybody else. And I would expect the same from them. If I found differently, it's over.
I wouldn't tolerate that at all. There should be no double standard like that in a relationship, & he needs to realize if you've been with him that long, you AREN'T going to do anything with anybody else, especially a friend or co-worker.0 -
Umm, because most guys are only friends with girls that they want to sleep with and would if given the chance. This doesn't apply to gay guys.0
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If either try to control the relationship then it's already doomed without either one realizing it. Being a guy, I certainly would never think of doing such a thing nor allow the woman try to do it either. 99% of my friends are girls & I will not ditch any of them when entering a relationship. If that can't be respected & she can't trust me, then it's not going to work out. I wouldn't expect the woman I'd be with to ditch her male friends.
I think that it is totally fine for both to have friends of the opposite gender. After all, a social life should still exist outside of the relationship. If the trust level is high, then there should be no worries if your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend will be doing something behind your back. Insecurity will kill a relationship pretty much immediately.0 -
I have not had this issue. My husband is not controlling, or insecure. We both have friends that are male and female. I never get super close to a male friend. But, I will hang out, go to dance classes, travel on the train, go to dance performances, sometimes go out for food after dancing events with male friends, but not often and sometimes alone, but usually in a group with other women (I meet most of my friends in dancing). Everyone knows I'm happily married with kids.0
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This is one of the many reasons me and my husband of five years didnt work out. He was very insecure so if I had male friends he would be defensive and if I went out with my female friends I was probably out cheating (in his mind), when in reality i was faithful. To me it just says they are insecure about themselves and the relationship.0
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Well.... I think it should go both ways. I don't think he should be "hanging out" with other women either. Me and my fiance can both be on the jealous side. So we both agreed to have mutual friends that we all hang out together. I have yet to meet a guy that just wants to hang out and be my friend. I had this one friend that I thought for sure he was just my friend. I was all like "baby you have nothing to worry about, he's just a friend and besides I don't like him like that" anyways, we hung out and sure enough dude puts the moves on me even though he knew I was engaged and even though we had built a friendship for over a year. Now I can't even be around him.
I'm sure there could be "just friends" with the opposite sex, but more often then not there is some sexual tension involved and I just don't see the reason of pushing that or making unnecessary temptations. I just keep my flirting to online
It's safer that way lol! 0 -
Honestly, I don't know why it's an issue. That just sounds like overly jealous behavior.
I may not have close male friends, but I'm really into dancing and I dance with other men - and that doesn't give me even the slightest desire to cheat with them. My boyfriend has no problem with that. I have no problem with him having female friends. We trust each other.0 -
I as a married woman, wouldn't just have a friend who is a male, the same way as my husband wouldn't just be a friend with a woman, it's a complete respect issue, our friends are couples that we do things together with, or I will go out with friends who are women and he would go out with friends who are guys, but as far as going out alone with a friend of the opposite sex, I would never do that nor would my husband. As the saying goes, you play with fire you're going to get burnt, have more respect for your spouse to not do that.
:huh:
Seriously???
My best friend is a guy. I met him on my first day at University. We are as platonic as they come. We've also lived together in shared student houses while studying. Nothing has ever nor will anything ever happen. You could leave us on a desert island together and we would be great at building huts, finding food etc but never do anything dodgy!! It would be like doing stuff with my brother. :noway:
Now this guy has been a great friend to me for over 20 years now!! According to your bizarre standards, I am to dump him as a friend of over two decades, because it is somehow disrespectful to my OH to have a male friend in my life??? :noway:
We ALSO have "friends who are couple we do things together with" but not ONLY. I have friends that are male, female, younger than me, older than me, with kids, without kids, with dogs, without dogs, in same sex relationships, in opposite sex relationships, in no relationships...... I don't pick my friends to be carbon copies of me and my OH, I pick them for interests and qualities that are totally unrelated to their gender or relationship status.0 -
People who like to "justify" their bad behavior just call everyone else in normal healthy relationships "insecure"...Ohh you don't want your boyfriend ditching you to go to a bar where his ex is YOU MUST be insecure with issues...It couldn't very well be that, that behavior is not normal....lol...People in this topic dont live in reality. At least there was ONE guy in here with the guts to admit the truth. The guy with the dog picture said it perfectly, then a bunch of wannabe "well we dont act like that" mature guys (faking it) came in to denounce what we all know.. They talk and think that way.
How patronising.
You dress up as "truth" the one opinion that confirmes your own thoughts and call those men stating they don't act or feel this way "fakers"??
Perhaps you need to grow up a little, allow people their individual stances on issues and respect that in ANY social group not EVERYBODY thinks alike?
Really not such a terribly hard concept to grasp, unless you're a very simplistic person for whom there are only ever two options. :noway:0 -
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I as a married woman, wouldn't just have a friend who is a male, the same way as my husband wouldn't just be a friend with a woman, it's a complete respect issue, our friends are couples that we do things together with, or I will go out with friends who are women and he would go out with friends who are guys, but as far as going out alone with a friend of the opposite sex, I would never do that nor would my husband. As the saying goes, you play with fire you're going to get burnt, have more respect for your spouse to not do that.
:huh:
Seriously???
My best friend is a guy. I met him on my first day at University. We are as platonic as they come. We've also lived together in shared student houses while studying. Nothing has ever nor will anything ever happen. You could leave us on a desert island together and we would be great at building huts, finding food etc but never do anything dodgy!! It would be like doing stuff with my brother. :noway:
Now this guy has been a great friend to me for over 20 years now!! According to your bizarre standards, I am to dump him as a friend of over two decades, because it is somehow disrespectful to my OH to have a male friend in my life??? :noway:
We ALSO have "friends who are couple we do things together with" but not ONLY. I have friends that are male, female, younger than me, older than me, with kids, without kids, with dogs, without dogs, in same sex relationships, in opposite sex relationships, in no relationships...... I don't pick my friends to be carbon copies of me and my OH, I pick them for interests and qualities that are totally unrelated to their gender or relationship status.
Soo you lived together at college and never hooked up once? Ohhhhh cool story bro.....To bad you are not being honest with yourself
Edit- if you didn't hook up, its simply because YOU never offered.
A) I am not a "bro" sweetheart.
There really is little point in attempting to have an even vaguely cerebral argument with you, so I shan't waste my breath. I guess most of your brains are in your pants if you believe everyone acts like you think. It probably says more about yourself than "everyone else". 0 -
0 -
I as a married woman, wouldn't just have a friend who is a male, the same way as my husband wouldn't just be a friend with a woman, it's a complete respect issue, our friends are couples that we do things together with, or I will go out with friends who are women and he would go out with friends who are guys, but as far as going out alone with a friend of the opposite sex, I would never do that nor would my husband. As the saying goes, you play with fire you're going to get burnt, have more respect for your spouse to not do that.
:huh:
Seriously???
My best friend is a guy. I met him on my first day at University. We are as platonic as they come. We've also lived together in shared student houses while studying. Nothing has ever nor will anything ever happen. You could leave us on a desert island together and we would be great at building huts, finding food etc but never do anything dodgy!! It would be like doing stuff with my brother. :noway:
Now this guy has been a great friend to me for over 20 years now!! According to your bizarre standards, I am to dump him as a friend of over two decades, because it is somehow disrespectful to my OH to have a male friend in my life??? :noway:
We ALSO have "friends who are couple we do things together with" but not ONLY. I have friends that are male, female, younger than me, older than me, with kids, without kids, with dogs, without dogs, in same sex relationships, in opposite sex relationships, in no relationships...... I don't pick my friends to be carbon copies of me and my OH, I pick them for interests and qualities that are totally unrelated to their gender or relationship status.
Soo you lived together at college and never hooked up once? Ohhhhh cool story bro.....To bad you are not being honest with yourself
Edit- if you didn't hook up, its simply because YOU never offered.
A) I am not a "bro" sweetheart. There really is little point in attempting to have an even vaguely cerebral argument with you, so I shan't waste my breath. I guess most of your brains are in your pants if you believe everyone acts like you think. It probably says more about yourself than "everyone else".
So you do realize you didn't have sex because YOU never offered right?
You can repeat yourself as often as you please, that does not make your statement a truth. I know myself and I know my friend and I know my 20+ year friendship. I feel really sorry for you to believe that he is only my friend because after 2 decades he's still waiting for me to come up with the goods.
Of course, you are so opinionated that you're always right, so you will now believe that I have been in denial for 2 decades with this friendship. Thankfully your opinion matters precisely zilch. :flowerforyou:0 -
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So you do realize you didn't have sex because YOU never offered right?
Out of curiosity are you saying that a man is literally incapable of turning down sex if offered by an attractive woman?
Or that anytime a man is being nice to an attractive woman is because he is "offering d*ck"?
You are Chris Rock (again) and I claim my prize!0 -
Because women are the weaker gender and they cannot be trusted with their feelings. Who knows when feelings will overwhelm you and you will jump on that "friend". There is a reason all women are strictly prohibited from talking to men or even showing their face/bodies in the middle east.
hahahaha
NO0 -
So you do realize you didn't have sex because YOU never offered right?
Out of curiosity are you saying that a man is literally incapable of turning down sex if offered by an attractive woman?
Or that anytime a man is being nice to an attractive woman is because he is "offering d*ck"?
You are Chris Rock (again) and I claim my prize!
Do you guys live on planet earth?
Yes.
Next question.0 -
I dont, cos I'm out of this world y0So you do realize you didn't have sex because YOU never offered right?
Out of curiosity are you saying that a man is literally incapable of turning down sex if offered by an attractive woman?
Or that anytime a man is being nice to an attractive woman is because he is "offering d*ck"?
You are Chris Rock (again) and I claim my prize!
Do you guys live on planet earth?
Yes.
Next question.
That wasn't a question!!!0 -
the answer is the question
I dont, cos I'm out of this world y0So you do realize you didn't have sex because YOU never offered right?
Out of curiosity are you saying that a man is literally incapable of turning down sex if offered by an attractive woman?
Or that anytime a man is being nice to an attractive woman is because he is "offering d*ck"?
You are Chris Rock (again) and I claim my prize!
Do you guys live on planet earth?
Yes.
Next question.
That wasn't a question!!!
Whoa, that's like deep Shaggy.0 -
Yes, but only if your partner is an insecure tool.0
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then why didn't she help pay for your lack of education?Half of your responses are just random assumptions that have almost nothing to do with the topic at hand. Try to respond with something real, not your "I took psychology 101 in college" bull****.
News flash
My mother has a Phd in psychology, DING DING DING
Try again kiddos
:laugh:0 -
OMG 17 pages of this? Oh people of the interwebs...0
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I forgot how simple minded you people were, how you think everything is funny.
then why didn't she help pay for your lack of education?Half of your responses are just random assumptions that have almost nothing to do with the topic at hand. Try to respond with something real, not your "I took psychology 101 in college" bull****.
News flash
My mother has a Phd in psychology, DING DING DING
Try again kiddos
:laugh:
Not quite everything...but you are highly entertaining, thanks.0 -
thank you mustafa.
And today's lesson on how to use the quote button is bought to you by the letters "D" "O" and "H" and the number 12....
Good lord, I buggered that up as well...0 -
so they have to be a tool now? why not just low self esteem, insecure, daddy issues, lonely, etc? but a tool?Yes, but only if your partner is an insecure tool.
a hammer? ..........no wait......screw driver.
Didn't you know? Anyone against this kind of behavior is AUTOMATICALLY insecure.....Thats the excuse of people who DO dirt
Well baby you wouldn't mind me going to the bar with my friend if you weren't so insecure
well baby all this porn on my phone wouldn't bother you if you weren't so insecure
^^ THOSE are manipulation tactics........You know psycology 101.
The justification for bad behavior by making others feel wrong is manipulation.
It's Psychology.. Just saying 0
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