Not interested in my husband anymore

You've lost the intimacy in your relationship and I suspect much of this is emotional intimacy.

It can happen, especially when you have kids.

Work to get it back and your love life will change from cool back to red hot.

I've been in this situation. I'm sorry to tell you that we are no longer married.

yes i have too.... and yep, we are no longer married. obviously there are a whole host of reasons other than sexual attraction (including emotional intimacy). hopefully you two will be able to work through this...

It doesn't matter if you're posting anonymously or not: you are airing out your dirty laundry. How would you feel if your husband posted an anonymous blog saying that he doesn't find you attractive anymore? Good?

This is utterly childish. What's wrong with your marriage is you.

Speaking as a woman who has been married for several years - he is my King, I appreciate everything he does for me ... from taking out the trash, to cheering me up when I'm down, I never fantasize about other men, and I crave sex on a daily basis. I find your initial post pathetic, selfish, and reeking of insecurity. If your husband is as as great as he seems, and you still can't truly connect with him on an emotional or physical level, you need to seek professional help. Seriously, something is damaged within yourself.

I realize I'm not the "norm", and before someone accuses me of any chauvinist way of thinking, I want to totally squash that. I'd definitely consider myself a feminist, and I'm an awesome wife/lover because I WANT to be. It's a choice I make every day. And mlrd, you are fully capable of making that same decision, you simply don't want to.

I will tell you straight up girl ... you may not have to worry about this for too much longer, because chances are your husband is so unhappy he has already considered leaving you.

P.S. - Your husband ceases to be your "BFF" when you go behind his back and post personal **** on the internet about your marriage.

I also ponder if you have male friends on here that you're sharing more with than your husband?

First, I would recommend reading this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/seth-adam-smith/marriage-isnt-for-you_b_4209837.html

Then, after you've read this, talk to your husband. Honesty is the best policy. Yes, it may hurt him. But perhaps he can help you get over this. You made a vow to him and it's up to you to keep your end of the bargain. If that means seeking counseling, or readjusting your life to include date nights without the kid (which is important, btw), or whatever, you have to do whatever it takes.

Speaking as a woman who has been married for several years - he is my King, I appreciate everything he does for me ... from taking out the trash, to cheering me up when I'm down, I never fantasize about other men, and I crave sex on a daily basis. I find your initial post pathetic, selfish, and reeking of insecurity. If your husband is as as great as he seems, and you still can't truly connect with him on an emotional or physical level, you need to seek professional help. Seriously, something is damaged within yourself.

I realize I'm not the "norm", and before someone accuses me of any chauvinist way of thinking, I want to totally squash that. I'd definitely consider myself a feminist, and I'm an awesome wife/lover because I WANT to be. It's a choice I make every day. And mlrd, you are fully capable of making that same decision, you simply don't want to.

I will tell you straight up girl ... you may not have to worry about this for too much longer, because chances are your husband is so unhappy he has already considered leaving you.

P.S. - Your husband ceases to be your "BFF" when you go behind his back and post personal **** on the internet about your marriage.

I also ponder if you have male friends on here that you're sharing more with than your husband?

she probably sends junk pics on KiK

From prior experiance you just have to be brutally honest. rather hurt his feeling a little now, than loose complete interest and break his heart if you end up cheating on him or break up with him. I can totally relate. feel free to friend me! There is nothing wrong with you!!

Thanks a lot. I'm not sure how to break it to him, but I will soon. It can't get better til it's out, I guess.

You don't have to say "I still want sex, just not with you". Tell him you have little interest in having sex with him, don't blame him, blame yourself, but ask him for help. If he's really your friend and partner he'll want to help. Read books, go to counseling, whatever, but yeah, you can't just bury the issue any longer.

your man wants you.

dont take that for granted.

But so many women do. And then they wonder why their husbands cheat on them.

It doesn't take a genius to figure it out, ladies.

Speaking as a woman who has been married for several years - he is my King, I appreciate everything he does for me ... from taking out the trash, to cheering me up when I'm down, I never fantasize about other men, and I crave sex on a daily basis. I find your initial post pathetic, selfish, and reeking of insecurity. If your husband is as as great as he seems, and you still can't truly connect with him on an emotional or physical level, you need to seek professional help. Seriously, something is damaged within yourself.

I realize I'm not the "norm", and before someone accuses me of any chauvinist way of thinking, I want to totally squash that. I'd definitely consider myself a feminist, and I'm an awesome wife/lover because I WANT to be. It's a choice I make every day. And mlrd, you are fully capable of making that same decision, you simply don't want to.

I will tell you straight up girl ... you may not have to worry about this for too much longer, because chances are your husband is so unhappy he has already considered leaving you.

P.S. - Your husband ceases to be your "BFF" when you go behind his back and post personal **** on the internet about your marriage.

I also ponder if you have male friends on here that you're sharing more with than your husband?

This. You are not being a good friend to him right now.

Speaking as a woman who has been married for several years - he is my King, I appreciate everything he does for me ... from taking out the trash, to cheering me up when I'm down, I never fantasize about other men, and I crave sex on a daily basis. I find your initial post pathetic, selfish, and reeking of insecurity. If your husband is as as great as he seems, and you still can't truly connect with him on an emotional or physical level, you need to seek professional help. Seriously, something is damaged within yourself.

I realize I'm not the "norm", and before someone accuses me of any chauvinist way of thinking, I want to totally squash that. I'd definitely consider myself a feminist, and I'm an awesome wife/lover because I WANT to be. It's a choice I make every day. And mlrd, you are fully capable of making that same decision, you simply don't want to.

I will tell you straight up girl ... you may not have to worry about this for too much longer, because chances are your husband is so unhappy he has already considered leaving you.

P.S. - Your husband ceases to be your "BFF" when you go behind his back and post personal **** on the internet about your marriage.

I also ponder if you have male friends on here that you're sharing more with than your husband?

You're 23......

go buy a magic 8 ball. at least that way you won't be coming into online forums to discuss your personal life with strangers.

I just ordered the jerry springer channel. I await your appearance greatly

Whatever, dude, you love it. All the ppl here that are judging me and saying how horrible I am would DIE if we actually stopped. You sir, are a vulture and you feed off the drama. I don't mind though, since no one knows who I really am here on MFP. (guaranteed you've seen me on the forums)

on a real note.

I've probably seen you...that's not the point. what the point is, is that you need to stop posting it here and go do something about it. Or go seek marriage counseling strangers don't know you. Only your friends do. and Asking strangers on their advice is irrelevant since everyone is different.

want an honest opinion....there it is.

LOL at everyone bashing her for discussing this here.

she is doing it anonymously. Why do you care?

This is a really hard place to be in. I've not been in your shoes so take my advice with a grain of salt. For the sake of your marriage, you need to find a way around this. If you are having a hard time with his physical appearance, maybe try to spice things up with a new position, one where you are not facing him. This way you can fantasize more freely without having him right in front of you. You might also try a blindfold. I disagree with some of the other poster about opening your relationship to other people. If you guys didn't start out with an open marriage, it's not going to work and someone will get hurt. I know you don't want to confront your husband but you might also want to consider seeing an sexual therapist. You wouldn't have to directly tell your husband it's because you're not attracted to him. You could tell him you haven't been in the mood and you want to be and that's why you want to go. During your private time with the therapist you can discuss your true problems and maybe they can help you work it out. I hope you and him get back on track.

If only you could've shown your husband the respect of discussing this with him privately rather than telling everyone on the Internet how you still get turned on, just not for him, and that you have to resort to fantasizing about other men in order to have sex with him ... I would've said maybe a good old-fashioned adult conversation could help. But you clearly don't respect your husband and are very clearly not in love with him anymore, so yeah, I've got nothing.

Don't assume I don't have respect for my husband because i am not going about a problem the same way you would, please. It's not fair. You yourself are not married, so how would you know you wouldn't respond the same way? Mile in someone else's shoes, you know?

Also, my OP clearly states I am still in love with him emotionally. Learn to read good-er.

How do I know I wouldn't betray my husband's trust by discussing our sex life with random strangers on the Internet? Because I'm not a liar. Because I would never stand before God and everyone who ever mattered to me and promise to LOVE, HONOR, AND CHERISH a man and then share very private, intimate details about our life with ANYONE, let alone strangers. That's how I know I wouldn't do what you did.

And there is no such thing as being in love with someone "emotionally" but not physically. Being IN love is an all-encompassing thing. It's like being pregnant. You either are or you aren't.

You must be a pleasant person to have around parties.