Anybody still feel ugly after losing weight?

am on the same boat. Although i lost almost 20 pounds, half way to reach my goal, i still see my oldie in the mirror. My mind still hasn't accepted the change...

I guess it all depends on how things progressed for you. I am back to the size I was in high school. It was in my 40s that my waist size increased over my pants length. Having been a 30 X 30 the majority of my life, that was my barometer. When I got to 35 X 30, and saw a picture of myself, where I thought I was holding my stomach in, that I knew something had to be done. (The picture is posted in my profile. It's not hard to pick out which one it is).

Just the other day I was sitting in my hair stylist chair. She was going on and on about how great I'm looking. I finally told her that yes I'm down nearly 60lbs. But when I look in the mirror I still see the same fat size tight 22 pants person. (I am now a size 16) I've seen so many amazing NSV's. And yet I can't let go of the delusions of the mirror. Perhaps it's because we know our "ick" areas and when we look in that mirror or eyes will immediately go to those spots. For me it's my hips and my thighs and I KNOW that's where I look first. I still have 60lbs more to lose in this journey and I'm working really hard at accepting the things about my body that I just can not change. I can lose every single pound. But I will still see my hips and thighs as ugly! We need to embrace our bodies as a whole. After all we have all been blessed with the good and the bad of both our parents! It's a daily struggle. But I for one am working on it!!

I'm there with ya'! I've lost 111 pounds from my heaviest weight (355) to my current weight (244), I can run for miles straight, I'm in the best physical shape of my life, I'm the smallest I've ever been as an adult (32 years old), and I am STILL DISGUSTED every time I look in the mirror. I don't ever think I'll be satisfied with my progress. All I see are the areas that I can't seem to impact or change. It DOES push me harder, but I think it's a negative thing. To me, it's a 'Lose/Lose/Lose' scenario.

You're not alone.

I've also found that when I was bigger I never REALLY LOOKED at myself in the mirror. I NEVER looked at myself naked and wore the same outfits over and over again because I knew I could put them on and didn't have to worry about my stomach sticking out or something.
Now I'm inspecting every little bump of fat and area of skin hoping that today is the day that it's starting to shrink and go away. That tends to make me feel gross because in my head I've already got my goal body in mind.

I also used to think that "once I'm smaller I won't have any problems finding a man", which is just laughable in itself. :flowerforyou:

*sigh*

I think this is why it's important for you to love yourself for who you are before you reach your goal weight. This does not happen automatically because you hit a specific weight or body fat percentage or clothing size.

Accepting yourself for who you are doesn't mean being satisfied with how you are if your body's in an unhealthy state. However rather than trying to lose fat out of self-loathing and self-disgust, you're trying to lose it out of kindness to yourself because you love yourself and know you deserve to be fit and healthy.

it's not too late to learn to love and accept yourself, but it's totally normal for someone who does not accept themselves for who they are, to still feel the same way about themselves when they hit their goal weight/bf%/size.

Bravo

Very common feeling. At my lowest weight, I was 200 pounds less than my all time high. I had loose skin everywhere. The sad irony I felt.... At my highest I would never have worn sleeveless shirts
and at my lowest I couldn't because of the loose skin. I could see peoples eyes gi straight to my upper arms where I really had a tonof loose skin. I worked so hard to go from a size 32 to a 6 and I still felt self conscious.

Yes. Actually it might be even worse now. When I was obese, I knew I was fat but I didn’t “feel” fat. I knew I was ugly but it was easy to forget. I had no mirrors and avoided them like the plague. Rejection? It hurt, but who cared, it was to be expected anyway. The most important thing was that I could still take solace from the idea that everything would get better if I just lost the damn weight. I’d have friends, a girlfriend, a life… Now even that was taken away.

I didn’t just lose 130 pounds. I lost any spark of hope I ever had during the process. Besides the number on the scale or the size of my jeans, nothing changed. I’m smaller, tighter but so so so much angrier. I suppose that’s what you get when you have the confirmation that your weight wasn’t the problem, it is obviously you. I just feel like whatever the amount of willpower or efforts I put in anything, I’m never good enough.

These days I’m almost obsessed by my appearance and can’t cross anything with a reflection without checking me out. I honestly can’t say that I see my old self in the mirror, my body is clearly different. But unfortunately just a different kind of ugly: loose skin, weird shape… and it adds to the bitterness when you can feel all the strength and power behind this.

Would I have gone through all the struggle if I had known from the start? Definitely no. And the saddest part: the only reason I’ll never allow myself to gain the weight back is just not to give “people” that satisfaction. I’m not even doing this for me anymore.

To end this on a brighter note, there is one thing I don’t regret from this journey: working out. I love it, best time of the day. I wish I had known sooner how satisfying and exhilarating it is.

Everyone should watch this clip. My husband told me about it the other night and it's exactly what you are talking about. Our own inner dialog does more damage to our well being than anything else.

http://hellogiggles.com/sketches-show-how-we-see-ourselves-vs-how-strangers-do

I too have had these issues. Once a friend of mine was giving my teenage girls some clothes. She came across a dressy top and said, Oh, this will fit you. I emphatically told her it wouldn't. Her teenager chimes in, I don't think you really realize how small you are now, just go try it on...... Ever since then I have made the conscious effort to keep my mind open to anything. And it's taken me the better part of a year to change my inner dialog.

My point is when we start hearing the little voices in our heads saying negative things, we need to turn and ***** slap it until it stops sayin' that crap!

I think it takes our mind a lot longer to catch up with our body. I totally understand where many of you are coming from. When people call me skinny mini now I somehow think they are mocking me as I don't see myself in this way. However, I did look through some old pictures of myself last night and was able to see a vast difference. It is heart breaking to know that I allowed myself to go around so long, so large....thank God I saw the light and was able to change. I think in time we will all see ourselves as we truly are now. Congrats to all.

*BUTTTTT, I don't feel ugly (before or now).

:-)

I feel the same way!

You all look great, let's start a movement to tell mirrors that they are wrong!

Agreed! When I look in the mirror, I see the same person I was in January of this year - over 40lbs heavier. However, when I see a pic (like my MFP current photo) I cannot believe its me. Seriously, the photo looks photoshopped to make me thinner but it's not. I am getting better about how I view myself but it's taking some time. I think I am moving in the right direction though!

Good luck :flowerforyou:

Thanks for the post, needed this one today.