Anybody still feel ugly after losing weight?

I totally feel this way. Even though I've had a pretty succesful time. I still look in the mirrior and see that 318 lb man starring back at me. I thought it was something that would pass, but it really hasnt. Don;t get me wrong, I feel great , and am in proably the best shape of my life, but its that litlle once in a while, when i feel like i look like i used too.

I just read an article about how mentally strong people think.....it's called what are the 13 things mentally strong people do not do. I bet you could find it if you google that title. Anyway it has helped me change how I view myself and I am now working consciously to rethink how I have thought about myself for the last 50 years. It's working slowly; I do still relapse - it's early days, , but I now am thinking carefully about everything I say, think and do. I have had body image issues for my whole life.

Well I notice the improvement WHEN I'M IN CLOTHES. But when i go naked, I can still see my old self on the mirror the evil belly fat is still here

If you find yourself feeling ugly now then you should talk to a doctor or counsellor because it is a warning sign of several mood problems that could lead to major problems that effect your family and career. Just for informational purposes:

Depression is short for major depressive disorder (MDE). It is defined using a diagnostic criteria. At least one of the following three abnormal moods significantly interfered with a person’s life (from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association):
1. Abnormal depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks (dysphoria)
2. Abnormal loss of all interest and pleasure most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks (anhedonia)
3. If 18 or younger, abnormal irritable mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks.
At least five of the following symptoms have been present during the same two week depressed period:
1. Depressed mood (criterion A, above)
2. Loss of all interest and pleasure (criterion B, above)
3. Appetite or weight disturbance
4. Sleep disturbance
5. Agitation or slowing
6. Fatigue or loss of energy
7. Abnormal inappropriate guilt (WSG, worthless, sinful, guilty)
8. Poor concentration
9. Thoughts of death or suicide
Note that some of these are physical while others are mental

If you think you have even a few of these then I highly suggest talking to a professional about it I've seen too many people life's slow down because they are too afraid to talk to a doctor about a problem they think is either temporary or effecting them only and no one else.

I don't normally post in the forums, but I saw this it really hit home for me. About a year and a half ago I used this website to lose over 50lbs. I spent the whole summer strutting around in cute swim suits and crop tops. I felt amazing and thin for the first time in my life. Then I saw a picture of myself with some girl friends taken at the beach, and all I saw was that stomach still wasn't as flat I would like, fat thighs, and several other things. I started to notice every flaw from that point, became depressed that I couldn't get any smaller and gave up. In the past 6 months I've gained 20lbs back and feel worse than ever. Despite that people still telling me how good I looked, I refused to believe it. I'm my enemy in this situation. I'm still trying to grab a hold of hat motivation again, but it's hard. Weight issues are a common cause of depression and having depression often causes weight issues, so it's a tough cycle to break I feel like. Anyways, the moral of the story is to keep your head up and look at your accomplishments. We're not made up of our outsides, its the courage and strength we find inside that build us. Regardless of how ugly you might FEEL, know that you aren't and that you're doing amazing things everyday that you put forth effort.

Oh, yes,and it was a shock to me.

Something which helped me: I started working with a personal shopper at Nordstrom's (she is paid by the store, so no charge to you). I told her that I wouldn't buy anything that wasn't at least 30% off, that I wanted to build a versatile wardrobe. She got me into colors and shapes which I would have never bought myself. I also had my make-up done at the Bobbi Brown counter at Nordie's (and then bought the same colors at the drugstore.)

Get some help with a new hairdresser, go to a store and get someone to help you select some new clothes....

Also, don't forget everyone has some aspect of their appearance they don't like. I, e.g., hate my squishy tummy. But, we also have aspects which are beautiful...I'm tall and have long legs/arms. Focus on accentuating those parts of your body and just accept the parts you don't and don't focus on them.

Oh, and check out "What Not to Wear" if you Netflix streaming. It is a great example of how someone looking you objectively can see your great attributes when all you see are your flaws.

The thread title says it all. All that work trying to get in shape and your life is still a tale of brutal rejection and wondering what is wrong with you?

Am I the only one who can only see the 'old' me in the mirror?

Looked at your photos and you don't appear ugly before or after.

And you're British, so it doesn't matter what you look like. Just open your mouth and those words in that accent ...

Excuse me a moment.

I'm alot more critical of myself now than I ever was when I was heavier I have no idea why either.


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

If you find yourself feeling ugly now then you should talk to a doctor or counsellor because it is a warning sign of several mood problems that could lead to major problems that effect your family and career. Just for informational purposes:

Depression is short for major depressive disorder (MDE). It is defined using a diagnostic criteria. At least one of the following three abnormal moods significantly interfered with a person’s life (from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association):
1. Abnormal depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks (dysphoria)
2. Abnormal loss of all interest and pleasure most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks (anhedonia)
3. If 18 or younger, abnormal irritable mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks.
At least five of the following symptoms have been present during the same two week depressed period:
1. Depressed mood (criterion A, above)
2. Loss of all interest and pleasure (criterion B, above)
3. Appetite or weight disturbance
4. Sleep disturbance
5. Agitation or slowing
6. Fatigue or loss of energy
7. Abnormal inappropriate guilt (WSG, worthless, sinful, guilty)
8. Poor concentration
9. Thoughts of death or suicide
Note that some of these are physical while others are mental

If you think you have even a few of these then I highly suggest talking to a professional about it I've seen too many people life's slow down because they are too afraid to talk to a doctor about a problem they think is either temporary or effecting them only and no one else.

Hi, thanks for your post. Yes, I've had all of those this year. I split with my fiancée in January (my fault) and suffered a nervous breakdown in early summer. I have been seeing a psychologist and I'm currently on a break to see how I get on.
I also fell in love with a female friend late summer. She was so appalled by the thought of me, she hasn't spoken to me since. That's the effect I have. Nice.
So my training/diet are pretty much the only things I have to cling onto to draw any self esteem from right now.

Do you have a confidant or someone you can talk to about your problems (that isn't your psychologist)? I'm just looking at my research notes because social support is such a major factor for mental health. If there is recent life stress (several in your case) and there is a confidant, there risk for depression is still low (4%), but if there is no confidant the risk jumps to 38%. You are 38 times more likely to suffer from depression. if you lack social support. Those people with negative social support (potentially your female friend who no longer talks to you) are much more likely to have an episode of depressive disorder. Those with lots of social support, those with a confidant or more than one confidant, are much less likely to have an episode of depressive disorder.

But for men, social support doesn’t matter very much. This is a dilemma we have: why is social support more important for women than men in depressive disorder? The results are very similar when looking at those with a history of depressive disorder: social support matters for women, but is much less important for men. The reason for this is unknown but there is a gender v sex argument that I will not go into.

If you are interested in mental health, particularly depression, then the most compressive and up to date textbook on it is by Bill Eaton from Johns Hopkins University called Public Mental Health. Pick up a copy and I promise you will learn something new everyday and use that information for so many good things, not just for you but those around you.

I never felt "ugly" nor do I feel ugly now.

I do have trouble at times feeling like I haven't lost any weight, even though I have lost a total of 98 lb from my highest to current weight.

Then other days I will "see it", whether in photos taken at an event where I actually look like I picture myself, rather than thinking "where did that extra chin/belly roll come from?!" - or looking in the mirror and thinking, dang, I do look a lot smaller and a lot different. It is difficult sometimes to process all of the changes.

The thread title says it all. All that work trying to get in shape and your life is still a tale of brutal rejection and wondering what is wrong with you?

Am I the only one who can only see the 'old' me in the mirror?

I had this a bit when I hit my original goal. The morning I hit my goal weight I had not magically turned into a VS model WTH is up with that?! :grumble: :laugh: I went into a bit of a funk because I realized that I was not where I really wanted to be at. So I sucked it up and continued on losing, and have since lost almost 20 more pounds than my original goal weight.

I also started adding a bit of exercise (walking-living on the wild side over here lol). Now ironically, I'm on the other side-can't get the weight loss to stabilize, so now I'm upping the calories and trying to get things sorted out (may be getting my thryoid checked after our insurance resets in January). I am pretty happy with where I am now, and I'm changing focus to 1. get the darn weight to stabilize 2. strength/body weight exercises to tighten up a few bits and pieces that are still jiggly and 3. learn to accept the reality that this is my body, with all of it's strengths, weaknesses, varicose veins, stretch marks and those jiggly parts that may or may not ever go away. But, I'm proud of where I am at now and to be here, after having three kids and being in the pre-diabetic range just a year ago, is pretty darn awesome :bigsmile:

I can honestly say that I don't have a single part of my body that I actually like. I can tell you at least one thing I hate on every single part of me. I thought I'd look great at my current weight but I don't. At this point, I know it's my brain more than my body, but that doesn't make looking in the mirror and hating it any easier.