Harming children to make yourself feel good?

I've got a Jack Vettriano print in my living room-- The Singing Butler. See? Common ground.


Also now this thread is about art. And dogs. :laugh:

And no one's taken this opportunity to post this:

Wow, I was expecting violence but candy? I'm guessing that this was just too generate a lot of responses, you can't be serious....

But, if you are, put down that Snickers bar and nobody gets hurt.....

My father's mother and grandmother did this to me, fed me candy bars, cookies, whatever I wanted that was loaded with sugar, because they had a grudge against my mother. But it's me who is paying the price and I feel like I have an addiction to sugar and have battled with my weight all my life. People really don't realize the damage they can do to children.

So your grandmother and great-grandmother are to blame for your lack of will power? Way to be accountable for your own actions! With that kind of attitude, I'm sure you will have no trouble conquering your "sugar addiction".

:noway:

Besides, sure, I can deny him all sugary products but then he will probably just turn into an adult who has zero self control when it comes to sugar. I've known a lot of people like this and they're rationality is "Well, I didn't get as a kid so I can just pig out now!" And, sadly, all of these people are overweight. Yeah, I'm not doing that to my kid.

That happened to my cousins. Growing up, we had a snack drawer at home. My cousins were not allowed to have sweets except for holidays, and they would come to our house and clean out the snack drawer. I even remember one of my cousins eating an whole box of hostess ding dongs and making himself sick.

Better to let kid enjoy them on the holidays and in moderation the rest of the year. As long as they eat a balanced diet, it's not going to 'harm' them.

I disagree with the first statement than deny him/her "all sugary products but then he will probably just turn into an adult who has zero self control."

Due to health reasons, I was not allowed to eat sweets or chocolate as a child, and I never developed a sweet tooth or have lack of self control. I still don't care for sweets, chocolates or cookies.

And I agree that parents should be asked if it is OK to offer their children ANY kind of food. You don't know if the children have foods restrictions, allergies or intolerance.

So, today...my 3 year old is having a pancake for breakfast. And after he gets done with school (where he will ONLY eat a pb&j sandwich and fruit), he is gonna have french fries. And at some point he will have a fruit snack with his gummy vitamin. After dinner (probably pizza bites or fish sticks) he's gonna have a cookie. Oh, and yogurt, applesauce, some more fruit, some 'juice' (water with a touch of 100% juice for flavor), and who know what else. Guess what: he's in the top 95% of the height and weight scales, and is healthy as an ox.

Maybe for that, he will have another cookie.

Not that I care, but you do realize that being in the 95% of height and weight means your kid is bigger than 95% of the kids out there?

What does that have to do with anything???

My son was always (and still is) over the 100% mark.. usually around 105% or higher.. for both height and weight.. since he was born. He's healthy, he's not overweight.

So he's bigger than all the boys his age plus some boys his age that will be or what? How does this even math?

There's this magical thing called genetics and it's plays a big part, I think. Usual days for my kid: half a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, a pb&j or hot dog w/ chips for lunch, and corn/chicken/mashed potatoes (or something equally large) for dinner. Snacks will be cookies, candy, tons of teddy grahams and pretzels and fruit, a cup or two of nuts, and peanut butter crackers. Daily drinks for him are 3 cups of whole milk, a cup of juice, and tons of water. End result? Pssh, we're just NOW reaching 21.4 pounds/30 inches at 1 1/2 years old. Also, he's pretty much identical to my husband who thrives on nothing but junk and hasn't gained a pound in over ten years. And I also cannot keep my kid sitting still... even in sleep he thrashes around a lot. Some kids are bigger than others and some kids are smaller than others even if they're on a healthy diet. BIG DEAL.

Riiiight. But that doesn't explain the other person's assertion that her son was in the 105th percentile for height and weight.

Yeeeaaah, that's not how math works. Even if somehow she was able to measure that he was the absolute tallest and heaviest kid in his age group, he would be the 100th percentile. This kind of measurement cannot go above 100%.

But as I mentioned in my previous comment, the charts are static. Someone just referencing the chart, noticing that their child is off the top of the chart is going to assume a 100+n percentile if they are not familiar with how the math works. Populations change, charts don't update, and so you will always get outliers that are 'off the charts'. Maybe the next published charts will include her kid, and he'll now be in the 100th percentile as shown on the chart as well as in reality.

Just being bad at math doesn't automatically presuppose that the child isn't as tall/heavy as they are claiming.

And PLEASE people, don't stay quiet if you feel you could be witnessing this child abuse. Does your neighbors child often have a red tongue? orange fingers? maybe they're a little hyper?

These are ALL signs that these children are being harmed with candy. We can turn a blind eye or we can do something about it! Call child protective services. It's better to be safe than to wonder "what if?".

It doesn't bother me at all when relatives fed my kids. It's the holidays and they knew it was a special occasion and that when we were at home, that's not the way we eat. Unlike me, my kids did not grow up fat, but at a very healthy weight. So I don't think Christmas cookies (even six) are going to make a kid fat.

Everything in moderation. And I think its very, very important to teach kids moderation.

Besides, sure, I can deny him all sugary products but then he will probably just turn into an adult who has zero self control when it comes to sugar. I've known a lot of people like this and they're rationality is "Well, I didn't get as a kid so I can just pig out now!" And, sadly, all of these people are overweight. Yeah, I'm not doing that to my kid.

That happened to my cousins. Growing up, we had a snack drawer at home. My cousins were not allowed to have sweets except for holidays, and they would come to our house and clean out the snack drawer. I even remember one of my cousins eating an whole box of hostess ding dongs and making himself sick.

Better to let kid enjoy them on the holidays and in moderation the rest of the year. As long as they eat a balanced diet, it's not going to 'harm' them.

I disagree with the first statement than deny him/her "all sugary products but then he will probably just turn into an adult who has zero self control."

Due to health reasons, I was not allowed to eat sweets or chocolate as a child, and I never developed a sweet tooth or have lack of self control. I still don't care for sweets, chocolates or cookies.

And I agree that parents should be asked if it is OK to offer their children ANY kind of food. You don't know if the children have foods restrictions, allergies or intolerance.

I think that when a child understands he or she can't have certain foods due to health issues, it's a different reaction than kids who are denied treats simply because the parents are sugar nazis.

This might be allowed...

That sixth cookie is vital. If a child eats six cookies in one day, ESPECIALLY DURING THE HOLIDAYS, it can be deadly.

Educate yourselves!

Isn't that in the same list as

Don't expose them to bright lights.

Don't get them wet.

And never ever feed them after midnight?

Yeah. Don't do those things, either.

They'll get really fat if you feed them after midnight.

WRONG They'll turn into Gremlins!

So, today...my 3 year old is having a pancake for breakfast. And after he gets done with school (where he will ONLY eat a pb&j sandwich and fruit), he is gonna have french fries. And at some point he will have a fruit snack with his gummy vitamin. After dinner (probably pizza bites or fish sticks) he's gonna have a cookie. Oh, and yogurt, applesauce, some more fruit, some 'juice' (water with a touch of 100% juice for flavor), and who know what else. Guess what: he's in the top 95% of the height and weight scales, and is healthy as an ox.

Maybe for that, he will have another cookie.

Not that I care, but you do realize that being in the 95% of height and weight means your kid is bigger than 95% of the kids out there?

The only time to worry is if their height is on the low and and weight is on the high end or visa versa. If they are both around the same it is perfectly healthy!

I will say that as someone who was raised from a strict health-nut mother (no sugar, no white flour, no chocolate) I attribute that to some of the reasons behind my morbid obesity. I did not have a weight problem until I reached puberty and started having more independence and access to the forbidden foods, and by the time I graduated high school I was binging and drinking nothing but sodas.

I believe if my mother had practiced moderation and not been under the belief "no bad food, Ever!" my relationship with food may have been better and I would have learned earlier that a little bit of everything is fine instead of trying to learn it as an adult.

Lets all repeat this there is no such thing as good food or bad food...food is only one thing healthful and all should be included in a way that emphasizes variety, moderation, and choices to ensure a healthy body.

PS-denying those treats from others is embarrassing to the child and sets it up that there is somehow something forbidden and taboo about this food. Instead of it just being a treat that you get when you go to Grandma's.

Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.

Of course you're not harming them on purpose, but a diet with too many cookies, cakes, candy and sweets is never good for anyone, especially children, especially when they are busy - and there are a lot of "special visits" during the holidays, so your offer might be a child's sixth cookie for the day.

Kids don't yet have the ability to make considered choices about their nutrition; their parents do. If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.

As a parent with 2 children, 1 with ADHD and another showing tendencies towards it (but is far too young for testing and medication IMO), I cannot agree more with this post!! PLEASE don't give my children treats or even food without asking first, and if they can't have it, I am more then willing to bring it home and give it to them at a better time.

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/commenters who are misunderstanding the original post, commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

The reason for the edit is the poster below - he/she falls in the misunderstanding category

Reading just the first 3 pages lets me know there are A LOT of childless people/trolls/misunderstanding the OP commenting.

The OP is NOT saying her children are not allowed to EVER have sweets, candy, chocolate, etc. She is simply saying ASK THE PARENTS FIRST!! Its that simple.

I am a parent. And I have been a parent a lot longer than the OP has been a parent.

Good for you.