Boyfriend & Boobies

Why would it make him shallow if he's sad that her boobs shrank? I didn't see any place where the OP said that he'd be so upset that he'd leave her over it.

The conversation kind of moved on to that when someone basically said that would be perfectly understandable and she'd leave her SO (whom she claims she loves) if he got fat.

So?

I'd leave my husband if he got fat and he'd leave me for the same reason. We both know this and agreed that it's acceptable. Once one is no longer physically attracted to their SO then it doesn't matter how much you love them. Would it be better if, in that situation, the couple stayed together and the non-fat one decided to cheat because they were aroused by someone else who met their physical needs?

My vows stated in sickness and in health, for better or worse. I don't understand people who get married but have conditions.
Sure, there are things I would leave my husband for, abuse of myself or my child for example. But he is an amazing person. He is currently 60 pounds over weight and I am 40. What is the cut off point? At what point should I say, oh you're too fat, I can't be with you anymore?

Technically, isn't vowing to stay in sickness or in health and such...conditions?

No, vowing to stay with someone regardless of their health is not putting a condition on it. It is the very definition of unconditional love.

I don't see vowing to stay with someone regardless of medical health is a reflection on unconditional love. There are those in arranged marriages of sorts that stay married and care for each other to a point because it is expected...not because they love each other unconditionally. There are those that due to religious circumstances get married due to an accidental pregnancy and stay together not because they love each other, but because they fear retaliation and judgement from family and such.

But the rest of the line follows with - until death do you part. So isn't that making it a condition?

the unconditionalilty of the love is the statement that (I love you so much, I am vowing to stay with you no matter what, even if you get sick ,or fat, or ugly, or *****y, or we have 12 kids or get really poor). No matter what means DESPITE the conditions we find ourselves in, I'll stay, because I love you.

And if you're completely miserable in the relationship yet for what ever reason you still love them, then because of your vows you stay?

Just playing Devils Advocate here but if it's "for better or for worse" wouldn't the "worse" include abuse because it couldn't get any worse than that and if you're claiming that you wouldn't break your vows if your husband got fat than why break them if he abuses you?

His being abusive toward me certainly wouldn't be any type of reflection of his love toward me, so no, I would not stay. I'm not saying I would stay in absolutely any case, I'm saying why one of us getting sick, or us being poor would not be grounds for splitting up. Hard times in general are not the same thing as abuse.

But by not staying you're putting a condition on the vows that you spoke.

Do you HONESTLY think that someone being over weight vs. being abusive is on the same playing field?

If my husband had an addiction I would get him help. If he got sick I would stay by his side. If he got fat(er) I'd still love him.
BUT, if he put me in fear for mine or my child's life in danger I would leave. I'd still try to get him the help he needed while keeping myself and my son safe.

So what if he refused to get help and basically ignored you and your child. What if he ended up getting so overweight that he couldn't walk anymore and still refused to get help?

This thread went from a serious concern to a war zone of opinions.

OP, I am sorry that your concern is no longer the focus.

Okay, ladies. I was all excited to get back on track this month with my workouts and healthy eating. I've lost 25 pounds since mid-June of 2013 with a few months of maintaining (not intentionally, but thank God I wasn't gaining!) & I still want to lose at least 30 to 40 more pounds. My boyfriend is around 6'2 and weighs 135. I'm 5'4 and weigh 180. Needless to say, he's quite a bit thinner than I am. I've noticed though that a lot of the things I'm insecure about he likes. He touches my stomach all the time too, which shows that he isn't repulsed by it. I'm unhappy with my body, so I assumed he would dislike my figure too. When I told him about me wanting to lose weight again (he's always been extremely supportive, even back when we were best friends) his biggest issue was that he didn't want me to lose my chest! He told me he'd be behind me no matter what I do. I know I have to lose weight so that I can be happy in my own body but I also would really love for my chest to stay around a size C. I've read that chest exercises can strengthen the pectoral muscles, making your breasts look perkier and more uplifted. I know there really isn't any way to tell how much fat I will lose in my chest, but I'm curious. So ladies, what has happened to your chest size after you lost weight? Any tips or advice?

Hi, OP. I don't want to read 8 pages of bickering, so if this has been answered already, I apologize. Breast tissue does not melt away like fat elsewhere on your body does. That being said, it's entirely possible extra fat is being stored in your breasts and your current cup size is not just breast tissue, but plain and simple obesity. The caveat is that you have no way of knowing by looking or feeling how much of your cup size is breast tissue and how much is adipose. As you begin to lose weight, track your bust measurements. You will likely see an initial decline, but as adipose in your breasts is burned, you will eventually plateau despite continuing to lose weight and inches elsewhere. That's when you know you have reached just tissue.

Some women store adipose in their hips, some their bellies (me!) and some their busts. If your partner isn't pleased with the lack of volume should you decrease in size, tell him a breast augmentation is only $5000 and it can be the gift to himself that keeps on giving.

Again, sorry if you already got that answer before.

Do you HONESTLY think that someone being over weight vs. being abusive is on the same playing field?

If my husband had an addiction I would get him help. If he got sick I would stay by his side. If he got fat(er) I'd still love him.
BUT, if he put me in fear for mine or my child's life or put us in danger I would leave. I'd still try to get him the help he needed while keeping myself and my son safe.

Yes because you spoke vows. You said "For better or for worse". Everyone who is defending the vows is stating that you can't put conditions on them. Leaving because your husband is abusive would technically be a 'condition'. As I stated earlier I am merely playing the Devil's Advocate here.

And if your husband had an addiction and he refused any sort of help and it began to hurt you financially and emotionally and caused you to became depressed and resentful over it you would still stay in the relationship? Because of your vows?

Edited because I am tired of looking at the huge block of quotes.