Girls do you like a nice guy? You just friendzoned him

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Replies

  • What guys/people who like girls don't understand is that just because you're nice doesn't mean you're automatically a person that someone wants to date. Girls (and people in general) aren't dating robots that you put friendliness and compliment coins into until they give you a relationship or sex.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I like a nice guy and haven't friendzoned him....


    .... yet

    Dont make me FZ you plz

    you can't FZ barbies

    (yes I saw that :angry:)

    The hell I can't. :angry:
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    From skimming through this thread (I ain't reading all that), I've learned two very interesting things:

    1) We no longer burn necromancers at the stake
    2) The only thing more annoying than guys whining about not getting laid is girls whining about guys whining about not getting laid

    Although, I guess I'm whining about girls whining about guys whining about not getting laid, so... I win?
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.

    Hi, I hear you are single and have great eyebrows.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.

    QFT

    that's why you have to find one who's kind of a **** to everyone but you
  • dawningr
    dawningr Posts: 387 Member
    Friendzoned? Nope. Kissed him and have been dating since then. :-)
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    "Nice guy" = entitled man with poor social skills who believes that women owe him sex (or a relationship if he's the type who insists that it's not about sex) if he displays the bare minimum of being (or pretending to be) a decent human being.
    Not quite. I've been the nice guy more times than I'd like to admit and I have a few friends who are still the nice guy. Nice guys don't always have poor social skills or expect anyone to have sex with them just for being nice. Basically, they just lack confidence when it comes to women.

    Women like guys with confidence, and they need to feel like they're pretty and desirable. Nice guys get put into the friendzone because they don't have the balls to make a move and they fear rejection, so they just act overly nice towards the girls they like in hopes that they'll make the move instead. Women write this off as a turnoff or a lack of interest and that's where the friendzone comes in. And then the nice guy gets confused when the girl falls for the guy with confidence even though he treats her like crap.

    The lack of confidence isn't the real reason women hate the "nice guy" bull****, because we completely understand the lack of confidence and fear of rejection involved with making the first move (especially since, particularly in our media, schlubby dudes aggressively going after hot girls are glorified and she's supposed to give him a chance, but a girl that you think is less attractive than you expressing that makes her pathetic in the same media). It's the fact that a lot of "nice guys" get super pissed and ****ty and passive-aggressive when the girl--that assumes that him being nice and acting like a friend means he desires to be FRIENDS with her--doesn't fall into his arms. It's a real let-down when all of a sudden the guy that you felt a great friend-connection with blows up and talks about how you're stupid and/or a *kitten* because you end up dating someone else other than him. Just sayin'.
    Being passive aggressive and calling someone a stupid *kitten* doesn't sound like a nice guy move to me. Just sayin.

    But you do have a point that they will be your friend and listen to all your BS and think you have some sort of connection, so why not date? They don't really get that they are just another girlfriend to them if there's no sexual tension.

    Regular guys know it's impossible to be friends with a girl you want to bang, and don't want to bother with all the BS unless they are going to get laid. Nice guys will do it for the pleasure of your company and for the one in a million chance that they'll change their mind.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.

    QFT

    that's why you have to find one who's kind of a **** to everyone but you

    You don't want him to be nice to you.....What fun is it getting punished by him if he's smiling and talking nicely to you? You've been a very bad girl.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.

    QFT

    that's why you have to find one who's kind of a **** to everyone but you

    You don't want him to be nice to you.....What fun is it getting punished by him if he's smiling and talking nicely to you? You've been a very bad girl.

    oh my

    :love:

    hi jac
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    It's true right?

    Beta zone!

    Golden-Globes-Tina-Amy-high-five.gif
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    It's true right?

    Beta zone!

    Golden-Globes-Tina-Amy-high-five.gif

    Vodka and pizza?
  • somefitsomefat
    somefitsomefat Posts: 445 Member
    I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.

    This is probably a byproduct of the female lifecycle.

    Teens-20ish: Plow through as many jerks as possible
    20ish-30ish: Date jerks since that's slightly better than plowing through them
    30ish-40ish: Marry a jerk who has mostly bad qualities but a couple good ones (cheater with a drinking problem who loves puppies for instance)
    40ish+: Find actual nice guy to take care of ex-husbands kids since the boys at the bar don't seem to be buying her as many drinks as they used to

    In other words, nice guys don't get much batting practice.
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    It's true right?

    Beta zone!

    Golden-Globes-Tina-Amy-high-five.gif

    Vodka and pizza?

    Annnnd that's how it's done
  • I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I :heart: these threads.

    They're magnets for stereotypes, bitterness, *kitten* hats, and anti-social personalities.

    So . . . In.

    IKR? So many hateful women in here.

    I still hold that finding a great woman is harder than finding a great man.

    I don't know about how common either good men or good women are, but I know I got lucky.

    I think you both did. Trust me when I say, as a single man, that good women are scarce and most are already married.
    I'm a dam good woman and when I was single men were not exactly beating down my door. Heck, I'm 37 and not married yet!

    Just sayin'.

    They're out there. You're just too busy looking at the Barbie dolls. :flowerforyou:

    Soon.
    hi-we-understand-you-are-not-married.jpg
    Ha ha.

    I've been with my fiance for nine years and we're getting married ni the summer.

    Honestly, I have a ton of interests and talents and marriage isn't my main objective. I'm just pointing out that men may complain there aren't "good women" out there, but they really aren't looking very hard. Or they're looking in the wrong places.

    It's not even that I've been single-single. I've had relationships (some with jerks and some that just didn't work out). But during the times I was single as an adult, it wasn't like men were chasing me left and right, either.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    It's true right?

    Beta zone!

    Golden-Globes-Tina-Amy-high-five.gif

    Vodka and pizza?

    Annnnd that's how it's done

    Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
    Being a girl's good friend does not guarantee you a relationship (or, rather what most guys who use this "friendzone" term want, sex.) Girls are people. Most people will not want a sexual relationship with everyone they meet. Romantic and sexual relationships happen when there's a mutual attraction in that way. If it's not there for one person, the other has the right to be sad, but complaining about the other person as if there's something wrong with them shows you're an idiot. Friendships are great and do not have to be sexual to be valued as deeply.

    Problems like this occur when there's a societal gender binary and sexist social norms. Ugh.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.

    This is probably a byproduct of the female lifecycle.

    Teens-20ish: Plow through as many jerks as possible
    20ish-30ish: Date jerks since that's slightly better than plowing through them
    30ish-40ish: Marry a jerk who has mostly bad qualities but a couple good ones (cheater with a drinking problem who loves puppies for instance)
    40ish+: Find actual nice guy to take care of ex-husbands kids since the boys at the bar don't seem to be buying her as many drinks as they used to

    In other words, nice guys don't get much batting practice.

    Don't you know how to get to Carnegie Hall?

    ... Practice.
  • I think that the friend zone thing is often an excuse. Sorry. Some women like them bad, but for the most part, there's usually a reason you're friend zoned. You just have to find the reason. You might not like it, but you need to figure it out.

    For example: I've always liked nice guys, but so often many of them lack the confidence to approach women. You know who do have the confidence? Bad boys. If you don't want to be friend zoned, ask a woman you're interested in out. That puts it out there directly.

    I've been happily married to a nice guy for years.
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    It's true right?

    Beta zone!

    Golden-Globes-Tina-Amy-high-five.gif

    Vodka and pizza?

    Annnnd that's how it's done

    Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.

    Alcohol and offers of candy in my van have yet to work. Tranquilizer darts are next on the list.
    jason-segal.gif
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  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    What can I say: Some girls are into the dudes that make mix tapes for them and some aren't. (Most aren't)
    Never surrender! But definitely move on. Never burn bridges because she might have a cute friend or sister.

    giphy.gif
  • alaynavee
    alaynavee Posts: 148 Member
    Being a girl's good friend does not guarantee you a relationship (or, rather what most guys who use this "friendzone" term want, sex.) Girls are people. Most people will not want a sexual relationship with everyone they meet. Romantic and sexual relationships happen when there's a mutual attraction in that way. If it's not there for one person, the other has the right to be sad, but complaining about the other person as if there's something wrong with them shows you're an idiot. Friendships are great and do not have to be sexual to be valued as deeply.

    Problems like this occur when there's a societal gender binary and sexist social norms. Ugh.

    Yep!! True and well said! Accept it and move on - she is just not that into you!!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    It is always a little interesting to FZ women who dont really fit well with what I am looking for. They generally are not sure what to make of it.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.
    Why do you want to be friends with boring wussies?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    It's true right?

    Beta zone!

    Golden-Globes-Tina-Amy-high-five.gif

    Vodka and pizza?

    Annnnd that's how it's done

    Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.

    Alcohol and offers of candy in my van have yet to work. Tranquilizer darts are next on the list.
    jason-segal.gif

    Offer me PB or pretzel m&ms and I will be tossing my boxers at you.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.
    Why do you want to be friends with boring wussies?

    For their skills in magic.
  • Roadie, it's not letting me reply to you for some reason, so I'll just say it here. The thing about waiting around for that "one in a million chance" is that once the girl you're interested in realizes that's what you want, it creates this weird rift. I don't speak for every girl, obviously, but I don't like having that unspoken expectation that one day I'll come around. That kind of thing makes us feel really crappy, even though we are in no way obligated to go out with someone we don't want to go out with. If we have no interest in a guy romantically, sexually, or both, then why should we be pressed to date them just because they're interested in us? That's really not fair. If we really enjoy your friendship for what it is, then oftentimes WE'RE hoping that you'll eventually lose interest and get over it so we can carry on having a nice, platonic relationship with you without watching everything we say and do to make sure you're not reading into it. I'm sure there are some guys out there that don't get bitter and angry when the girl they spend a lot of attention on refuses to give into that pressure, but it seems like the overwhelming majority do. If we break off the relationship once it's apparent that they're interested, we're not, and there's nothing to be done? Well, then we're *****es. If we continue on with the friendship because we don't want to hurt their feelings and we do honestly like them as a friend, but they refuse to accept that? Well, then we're double *****es.

    We get told day in and day out that we're supposed to be nice. But being nice often leads the door to stay open to crap we don't want. On that note, there's a lot of guys that claim to be in the friendzone that aren't. They're actually in the, "Jesus Christ why won't this guy get over himself or leave me the hell alone" zone.
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    It's true right?

    Beta zone!

    Golden-Globes-Tina-Amy-high-five.gif

    Vodka and pizza?

    Annnnd that's how it's done

    Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.

    Alcohol and offers of candy in my van have yet to work. Tranquilizer darts are next on the list.
    jason-segal.gif

    Offer me PB or pretzel m&ms and I will be tossing my boxers at you.

    There is a bag of pretzel m&ms in my car. No joke. One of those big giant bags.