MFP has changed

Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.

So most of 23 posts in almost three years?

Are you just pacing yourself?

Seriously, if you feel so strongly about the proper way to interact in the forums, you're not going to make a difference with one post every six weeks. Get in there...show them how it's done...be the change you want to see in others.

Or continue lecturing others on what you think they're doing wrong under the mistaken belief that it will make a difference.

Personally, I think you'll make more progress with the former...

...but that's just my opinion.

Everyone is allowed an opinion, you know what they say. I'm sure it will make no difference to anyone other than to the OP. Thank you and goodnight.

I'm kind of in for hearing the opinions of people who don't post often, especially after noticing in recent days some people saying out loud that they are deciding to become "lurkers" for fear of being made to feel stupid for asking questions.

I can say that I've read mfp forum posts before I even joined. I'm a listener, so I like reading other people's thoughts. I decided to get back on mfp about a month ago. This time around I thought I'd try to use the community feature more because apparently this aids in weight loss - having a support group.

Within days, I made the mistake of getting into it with a senior member that I believe was rude. Some people may not agree.
Anyhow, I had someone inbox me and tell me they too felt the same, but was not sure if they should call this member out in fear of being attacked.

I completely understand this is the internet, but I think some of the words people hurl at each other is really unecessary.
And I say hurl because sometimes the content is good, but the delivery is terrible.
When people say "toughen up, there are big bad people in the world," that is completely true. But let us not forget the really sensitive people that cannot mentally handle people like that, and turn to acts like suicide.

I'm just saying, we don't know who's behind the computer screen and how they will receive our message, so we must TRY to at least have a little tact.

There's an old saying:

"Times change, people don't".

Working in a fitness environment for more than half my life, I hear a lot of the same here as I have over that period of time in gyms, fitness centers, etc. Some will support, some will encourage, some will be blunt, some will be tactless. Take the good with the bad.
What I do believe is that people DON'T focus as much on the positive as they do the negative when it comes to forums or life in general. Our environment likes to meander around and sensationalize negative news and events. You see it at newstands, magazines, and TV on a daily basis.
IMO, the ratio is for every one positive thing a person can remember, there are 5 negative things they will associate with it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Most are just being a cheerleader and congratulating folks...not tearing them down, boo.

So most of 23 posts in almost three years?

Are you just pacing yourself?

Seriously, if you feel so strongly about the proper way to interact in the forums, you're not going to make a difference with one post every six weeks. Get in there...show them how it's done...be the change you want to see in others.

Or continue lecturing others on what you think they're doing wrong under the mistaken belief that it will make a difference.

Personally, I think you'll make more progress with the former...

...but that's just my opinion.

Everyone is allowed an opinion, you know what they say. I'm sure it will make no difference to anyone other than to the OP. Thank you and goodnight.

I'm kind of in for hearing the opinions of people who don't post often, especially after noticing in recent days some people saying out loud that they are deciding to become "lurkers" for fear of being made to feel stupid for asking questions.

I can say that I've read mfp forum posts before I even joined. I'm a listener, so I like reading other people's thoughts. I decided to get back on mfp about a month ago. This time around I thought I'd try to use the community feature more because apparently this aids in weight loss - having a support group.

Within days, I made the mistake of getting into it with a senior member that I believe was rude. Some people may not agree.
Anyhow, I had someone inbox me and tell me they too felt the same, but was not sure if they should call this member out in fear of being attacked.

I completely understand this is the internet, but I think some of the words people hurl at each other is really unecessary.
And I say hurl because sometimes the content is good, but the delivery is terrible.
When people say "toughen up, there are big bad people in the world," that is completely true. But let us not forget the really sensitive people that cannot mentally handle people like that, and turn to acts like suicide.

I'm just saying, we don't know who's behind the computer screen and how they will receive our message, so we must TRY to at least have a little tact.

Agree with this. Delivery not alwaya great but I think people genuinely want to help

Still waiting for people to tell me what they have actually done to help people on the forums.


I'm waiting.


(No one ever answers this, which is telling.)

I've sent beer to a couple members. What have you done that is better than that? (trick question, nothing is better than that)

I agree that sometimes some of the usual suspects don't sugarcoat and could be more 'tactful' in their delivery. I have seen some mark and plenty of gifts. But, I also think people tend to see negativity and meanness wherever there is disagreement. Part of the problem with written communication is the loss of facial expressions and tone. That can actually help sometimes but, often, it means that meanness is detected where none was intended

"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "

I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.

So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?

It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.

Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?

There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.

"If you are lonely and need a friend that does not judge you, get a dog or cat. "

I totally agree and whilst you are at it toughen yourself up. Its a cruel world outside of your home.

So MFP can't be different? Does everything need to be horrid?

It just bad manners.
If you can't be nice or helpful, don't write anything.

Even if nice or helpful means supporting something dangerous or inaccurate?

There are nice ways of communicating even if the message isn't particularly nice. Education works a lot better than a smackdown. Not too long ago, some people were smug and happy about chasing away another newbie through utterly horrible posts. I believe in honesty, sometimes extremely blunt honesty, but such nastiness is just sad.

Reference please. (I see these claims often, but almost never are they supported with an actual link to the egregious behavior. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but it would strengthen your argument considerably if you could provide some support.)

I have found that people aren't mean, they are just direct... and most of the helpful members have been here a long time answering the same exact question ad nauseam. What I am tired of seeing are the members who just joined answering good questions with crap advice, that's when a flame war usually starts.. because at that point the thread is already boned and kitty gifs are the only option.

Ignore the jerks. You know, just like real life.

OP needs a tackle hug and an e-noogie.