vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym

It's funny.

If you want to be an engineer, you surround yourself with smart engineers and learn from them.
If you want to be a doctor, you go to a medical school and surround yourself with doctors.
If you want to be a lawyer, you surround yourself with winning lawyers.

You wouldn't go to a clown school for seven years and expect to leave with an advanced degree.

But...

When people want to be skinny, so many want to surround themselves with other fat folks. What results would you expect from that strategy?

^brilliant observation. :drinker:


and I should have made a new post not an edit.


"just want to add- I think you all forget 43% of marriages end the first time (which is why you all need to stinkin remember to get a prenup for Pete's sake - I have trouble picking which designer shoes I want to rock every morning let alone which women your teaming up with for the rest of your life wink ) - if someone has a CLEAR reason on why they got married - aka beauty or them being a trophy, I feel like they have much better odds of beating the statistic. - plus I have dated tons of ladies who proudly said they would want to be my trophy :smokin: I'm just looking for of course much more because I realize how temporary and subjective beauty is "

I didn't take the op's expression of her insecurity as an insult. I guess I can see how someone personally directing Trophy wife at me could be intended to insult me (although I would prove them wrong in an instant). But, that was not what I experienced from this thread. Sometimes Trophy wife is a playful, not so serious term. But, I guess it depends on the circumstances. There are lots of worse ways to harm or insult someone.

BAH


Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.

Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.

It is offensive.

^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.

It diminishes a person's value to their external appearance, without recognition for their hard work or intelligence.

Yeah but ppl do this to me all the time? Wuts the big deal? If you do work hard and are aware of the intelligence you've been cursed with - wuts the problem?

I don't think it diminishes value at all - it just places a great deal of value on something that is so important because it is sooo temporary.

But it does diminish value. A Trophy isn't useful. It is just pretty. You can't eat it, or use it to fix things, or drive it to work. You show it off, but you don't bring it with you when you are doing important things.

Calling a person a trophy is saying that someone is useless, but nice to look at.

A trophy is indeed useful? There is utility there? - and likewise you can't eat a smart wife, or use it to fix things, or drive her to work. and I spend thousands a month just to show off - and I sure do bring it all with me when I'm doing important things.

calling a person a trophy is not saying they are useless- I recall many corporate events where I called up some of the girls I was dating and asked them to wear an outfit complimenting me - and to smile and promote me. ---no idea what da faq your talking about.

I worked my *kitten* off to be where I am now. I did it even with the feeling of embarrassment. In front of family, no less, not a bunch of strangers. My very athletic brother in law came over regularly and I had to feel inferior to him doing my DDR and dance games feeling myself jiggle when I hopped but you know what it taught me? Doesn't matter if I'm fit or fat, I'm the same person inside and if people can't respect me for wanting to better myself than what do I care? Why does it matter what other people may or may not think? It's just as unfair to body shame fit people as it is fat. Calling people meat heads and trophy wife's is down right terrible and you should feel ashamed. What if those people thought, "Good for her for being here. " we always assume the worst in people. Why? Positive minds are more likely to succeed than negative. If you go in there like a storm cloud, don't expect sunshine.

....

This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!

*points toward LOLBroScience* He's the man to bug

chanting....chanting GELATO GELATO GELATO...I......I Believe. . . . .I Believe We.......I Believe We Will. . . . .I Believe We Will Gelato. . . . .I Believe We Will Gelato........

Completely unrelated to all above comments, I wanted to say that there IS a gym just for overweight people that I'm aware of. Its called Downsize fitness. I believe it is in Chicago and Texas. The members who start obese and lose weight are still allowed to be members and are there to be role models for the other gym members. However, its my understanding that it costs a huge sum of money. I am not a member of that gym and will never be a member of that gym (I don't even live near Chicago) but the business model does exist. Just wanted to throw that out there.

So they allow the people that lose weight to stay, then, as role models and motivation? How does that work? How do those people not suddenly become intimidation for new members?

BAH


Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.

Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.

It is offensive.

^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.

It diminishes a person's value to their external appearance, without recognition for their hard work or intelligence.

Yeah but ppl do this to me all the time? Wuts the big deal? If you do work hard and are aware of the intelligence you've been cursed with - wuts the problem?

I don't think it diminishes value at all - it just places a great deal of value on something that is so important because it is sooo temporary.

Now consider a time where nobody wants anything to do with you because you look like crap AND they place no value on your personality, intelligence, achievements or work ethic.

^Can't brother, I even wake up looking hot :smokin: ...not to mention once people know me I always subtly inform them of my intelligence, achievements, work ethic - and my playful personality


g2run - gym time with fellow skinny people and trophy wives

Oh. Now I know we just got trolled. ROFL!

:laugh:

Yeah, I just realized the same thing.

ok, so i only got through one page of those replies to this post - and my goodness. some people take other peoples thoughts far too seriously!

i totally get what you mean OP, and i know that your 'fat people gym' idea was a joke of sorts. i like it - and im with you.
i was just at the gym last week before a yogalaties class, and the cardio class that was finishing up had this girl in it.. holy crow her body was amazing! like really, what was she even doing there?? she doesnt need the cardio, I need the cardio!

it would be awesome to have a gym where there are zero judgments, and people just straight up support each other. i think - well, i hope - that most gyms really are like that once you open up a little. i plan on actually joining the gym later this year (i was on a trial pass, i work out at home) and i look forward to being a support (maybe an inspiration?) to other gym goers.

But the only person passing judgement was the OP.

This! Why don't the people defending the OP see this? How did the use of derogatory stereotypes not get noticed by them?

By feeling the same embarrassment and shame that the OP does when surrounded by others that you can't measure up to and not necessarily the literal translation of the precise words used to convey the message.

It comes in lots of areas of life and it is reality. Last time I was at the gym I got nothing but looks of disgust from the "skinny" people. At my daughters pre-school the only two families who would have anything to do with me, at the various events theat were held, were the black families, because my daughter is mixed and not white like the other kids. When registering my daughter for kindergarten I was the only fat parent there in the district office. They sat there talking about their new wood floors and what they were going to do with their day now that the baby is in school, how they were going to teach yoga class and what kind of new huge suburban type thing they were going to get. I was noticed when I entered and was then treated like I was invisible... non existent... or something to disgust because I wasn't like them. I wasn't skinny like them. I wasn't fiscally well to do like them. I wast vegan like them. I wasn't (fill in the blank) like them. This is the world we live in. It sucks.

I pride myself on having a relatively thick skin when it comes to the junk I deal with, but in the end I cry. It does get to me. I try to hold my head up high and walk around like I am confident in who I am and how I look, but it is an act. Does any of this mean skinny people are bad or that people who are different than ourselves are bad? No. But it sure does mean I know what its like to be there. The fat one. Feeling like the butt of their jokes every time you hear them laugh near you but can't quite make out what they are saying. If understanding what someone is trying to convey through the hurtful words they may use is wrong, then count me proud to be wrong.

It's funny.

If you want to be an engineer, you surround yourself with smart engineers and learn from them.
If you want to be a doctor, you go to a medical school and surround yourself with doctors.
If you want to be a lawyer, you surround yourself with winning lawyers.

You wouldn't go to a clown school for seven years and expect to leave with an advanced degree.

But...

When people want to be skinny, so many want to surround themselves with other fat folks. What results would you expect from that strategy?

VERY well said!

As of this morning I am 27 pounds overweight, according to a healthy BMI. What gym can I not go in to and why? Do they ask at the door if I am over a certain limit?

ok, so i only got through one page of those replies to this post - and my goodness. some people take other peoples thoughts far too seriously!

i totally get what you mean OP, and i know that your 'fat people gym' idea was a joke of sorts. i like it - and im with you.
i was just at the gym last week before a yogalaties class, and the cardio class that was finishing up had this girl in it.. holy crow her body was amazing! like really, what was she even doing there?? she doesnt need the cardio, I need the cardio!

it would be awesome to have a gym where there are zero judgments, and people just straight up support each other. i think - well, i hope - that most gyms really are like that once you open up a little. i plan on actually joining the gym later this year (i was on a trial pass, i work out at home) and i look forward to being a support (maybe an inspiration?) to other gym goers.

But the only person passing judgement was the OP.

This! Why don't the people defending the OP see this? How did the use of derogatory stereotypes not get noticed by them?

By feeling the same embarrassment and shame that the OP does when surrounded by others that you can't measure up to and not necessarily the literal translation of the precise words used to convey the message.

It comes in lots of areas of life and it is reality. Last time I was at the gym I got nothing but looks of disgust from the "skinny" people. At my daughters pre-school the only two families who would have anything to do with me, at the various events theat were held, were the black families, because my daughter is mixed and not white like the other kids. When registering my daughter for kindergarten I was the only fat parent there in the district office. They sat there talking about their new wood floors and what they were going to do with their day now that the baby is in school, how they were going to teach yoga class and what kind of new huge suburban type thing they were going to get. I was noticed when I entered and was then treated like I was invisible... non existent... or something to disgust because I wasn't like them. I wasn't skinny like them. I wasn't fiscally well to do like them. I wast vegan like them. I wasn't (fill in the blank) like them. This is the world we live in. It sucks.

I pride myself on having a relatively thick skin when it comes to the junk I deal with, but in the end I cry. It does get to me. I try to hold my head up high and walk around like I am confident in who I am and how I look, but it is an act. Does any of this mean skinny people are bad or that people who are different than ourselves are bad? No. But it sure does mean I know what its like to be there. The fat one. Feeling like the butt of their jokes every time you hear them laugh near you but can't quite make out what they are saying. If understanding what someone is trying to convey through the hurtful words they may use is wrong, then count me proud to be wrong.

Next time someone calls me a racial slur I'll be sure to look through their hurtful words to get the actual meaning.

Or does looking past hurtful words only count when it relates to things that make the person saying the hurtful crap feel bad? Or just when it's about things you've worked damn hard for, put time and sweat and god knows what else into VS the way you're born?

I'm slow so I need to know what hurtful words I look past and what ones I'm allowed to be offended by, based on how the person tossing out those hurtful words feels on the inside.



And, side note, I'm not offended by jokes about people feeling like they're in danger when they go on walks. Since I'm not offended by that no one else can be offended either, k?

This is very silly. Of course there's going to be skinny people at the gym, because they've probably been going for a while on a regular basis and that's how they got that way and that's how they maintain themselves. Comparing yourself to others is a surefire way to make yourself miserable really fast. Just remember.... keep it up and soon you'll be one of those skinny people, and then maybe you can inspire a newcomer to get to that level.

ok, so i only got through one page of those replies to this post - and my goodness. some people take other peoples thoughts far too seriously!

i totally get what you mean OP, and i know that your 'fat people gym' idea was a joke of sorts. i like it - and im with you.
i was just at the gym last week before a yogalaties class, and the cardio class that was finishing up had this girl in it.. holy crow her body was amazing! like really, what was she even doing there?? she doesnt need the cardio, I need the cardio!

it would be awesome to have a gym where there are zero judgments, and people just straight up support each other. i think - well, i hope - that most gyms really are like that once you open up a little. i plan on actually joining the gym later this year (i was on a trial pass, i work out at home) and i look forward to being a support (maybe an inspiration?) to other gym goers.

But the only person passing judgement was the OP.

This! Why don't the people defending the OP see this? How did the use of derogatory stereotypes not get noticed by them?

By feeling the same embarrassment and shame that the OP does when surrounded by others that you can't measure up to and not necessarily the literal translation of the precise words used to convey the message.

It comes in lots of areas of life and it is reality. Last time I was at the gym I got nothing but looks of disgust from the "skinny" people. At my daughters pre-school the only two families who would have anything to do with me, at the various events theat were held, were the black families, because my daughter is mixed and not white like the other kids. When registering my daughter for kindergarten I was the only fat parent there in the district office. They sat there talking about their new wood floors and what they were going to do with their day now that the baby is in school, how they were going to teach yoga class and what kind of new huge suburban type thing they were going to get. I was noticed when I entered and was then treated like I was invisible... non existent... or something to disgust because I wasn't like them. I wasn't skinny like them. I wasn't fiscally well to do like them. I wast vegan like them. I wasn't (fill in the blank) like them. This is the world we live in. It sucks.

I pride myself on having a relatively thick skin when it comes to the junk I deal with, but in the end I cry. It does get to me. I try to hold my head up high and walk around like I am confident in who I am and how I look, but it is an act. Does any of this mean skinny people are bad or that people who are different than ourselves are bad? No. But it sure does mean I know what its like to be there. The fat one. Feeling like the butt of their jokes every time you hear them laugh near you but can't quite make out what they are saying. If understanding what someone is trying to convey through the hurtful words they may use is wrong, then count me proud to be wrong.

All this stuff is in your head, people really don't care that much about your presence, you are not the center of the universe

Agreed. Living with that perception sounds very stressful.

No one cares what you do, own, look like or weigh but you. I promise that everyone you encounter is more concerned about their personal life than yours

There's no need to tell you what others already mentioned - you are judgmental and this whole attitude may turn against you... So be careful what you say and do :ohwell:

You should be motivated by fit people - that's where you're headed yourself - maybe learn from them (I've even learned some new exercises/variations from people I workout with) and it's super helpful. Some of them are even nice enough to give you a hand when you're in need.

You live in a society, you can't just change the rules because of your own insecurities... There are different people of different sizes. Discrimination will NEVER be the answer. This mentality will not help you at all in the future - you wouldn't like for others to treat you the same way now, would you? Try and accept your body in order to change your perception of gym goers - it may surprise you in the near future what you are capable of when you put your mind into it - together with your body.