vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym

I wish I could find a gym where the play list was nothing but Rob Zombie, Metallica, Pantera, NIN, and Disturbed, and everyone just focused on lifting.

bottom line is I don't know why so many of you are getting so upset over a girl with insecurities. and all I said was that being overweight is definitely less accepted than being a normal weight is, therefore the insecurity will be at a higher level. i personally have been judged by said 'trophy wives' and 'meatheads' when i was running on a treadmill at almost 300 pounds. I've encountered people similar to those types on this forum as well. what makes them trophy wives and meatheads is NOT their body. its their mentality and attitude. so not every single person who is fit is gonna be one of those types. I've met plenty of MFP vets that have treated me with respect and others that have made me feel like a complete idiot for asking questions. i mean come on people really? the girl is obviously insecure and its ridiculous that some of you are trying to compare the stigma attached to being overweight to the stigma of being at a normal weight. everything about being at a normal weight is more favorable. better health, more energy, more confidence. its like saying "straight people get made fun of too" when talking about gay rights. whether anyone agrees or not, society has built a certain set of standards and at the time, its hard for people to ignore what society says and focus on themselves. but if we work together we can help each other realize that it really is whats inside that matters. i don't want to come off negatively but i just find it unfair the way OP is being slammed. saying 'i know it sounds stupid' and things of that nature clearly imply that shes not trying to state any hard facts or pass serious judgement

How about you look past the words those people who make you feel like an idiot use?

no, because there is no reason for people to act the way they do on here sometimes. I've asked before 'what are your favorite tips and tricks for newbies losing weight?" im not even a newbie, i just wanted to know what everyones favorite advice was and i got responses like 'get up off your *kitten* and move.' like really? and most of the people who tell me that are super fit and almost seem angry that they have to work so hard or something like i don't get it

bottom line is I don't know why so many of you are getting so upset over a girl with insecurities. and all I said was that being overweight is definitely less accepted than being a normal weight is, therefore the insecurity will be at a higher level. i personally have been judged by said 'trophy wives' and 'meatheads' when i was running on a treadmill at almost 300 pounds. I've encountered people similar to those types on this forum as well. what makes them trophy wives and meatheads is NOT their body. its their mentality and attitude. so not every single person who is fit is gonna be one of those types. I've met plenty of MFP vets that have treated me with respect and others that have made me feel like a complete idiot for asking questions. i mean come on people really? the girl is obviously insecure and its ridiculous that some of you are trying to compare the stigma attached to being overweight to the stigma of being at a normal weight. everything about being at a normal weight is more favorable. better health, more energy, more confidence. its like saying "straight people get made fun of too" when talking about gay rights. whether anyone agrees or not, society has built a certain set of standards and at the time, its hard for people to ignore what society says and focus on themselves. but if we work together we can help each other realize that it really is whats inside that matters. i don't want to come off negatively but i just find it unfair the way OP is being slammed. saying 'i know it sounds stupid' and things of that nature clearly imply that shes not trying to state any hard facts or pass serious judgement

How about you look past the words those people who make you feel like an idiot use?

no, because there is no reason for people to act the way they do on here sometimes. I've asked before 'what are your favorite tips and tricks for newbies losing weight?" im not even a newbie, i just wanted to know what everyones favorite advice was and i got responses like 'get up off your *kitten* and move.' like really? and most of the people who tell me that are super fit and almost seem angry that they have to work so hard or something like i don't get it

ok, so i only got through one page of those replies to this post - and my goodness. some people take other peoples thoughts far too seriously!

i totally get what you mean OP, and i know that your 'fat people gym' idea was a joke of sorts. i like it - and im with you.
i was just at the gym last week before a yogalaties class, and the cardio class that was finishing up had this girl in it.. holy crow her body was amazing! like really, what was she even doing there?? she doesnt need the cardio, I need the cardio!

it would be awesome to have a gym where there are zero judgments, and people just straight up support each other. i think - well, i hope - that most gyms really are like that once you open up a little. i plan on actually joining the gym later this year (i was on a trial pass, i work out at home) and i look forward to being a support (maybe an inspiration?) to other gym goers.

But the only person passing judgement was the OP.

This! Why don't the people defending the OP see this? How did the use of derogatory stereotypes not get noticed by them?

By feeling the same embarrassment and shame that the OP does when surrounded by others that you can't measure up to and not necessarily the literal translation of the precise words used to convey the message.

It comes in lots of areas of life and it is reality. Last time I was at the gym I got nothing but looks of disgust from the "skinny" people. At my daughters pre-school the only two families who would have anything to do with me, at the various events theat were held, were the black families, because my daughter is mixed and not white like the other kids. When registering my daughter for kindergarten I was the only fat parent there in the district office. They sat there talking about their new wood floors and what they were going to do with their day now that the baby is in school, how they were going to teach yoga class and what kind of new huge suburban type thing they were going to get. I was noticed when I entered and was then treated like I was invisible... non existent... or something to disgust because I wasn't like them. I wasn't skinny like them. I wasn't fiscally well to do like them. I wast vegan like them. I wasn't (fill in the blank) like them. This is the world we live in. It sucks.

I pride myself on having a relatively thick skin when it comes to the junk I deal with, but in the end I cry. It does get to me. I try to hold my head up high and walk around like I am confident in who I am and how I look, but it is an act. Does any of this mean skinny people are bad or that people who are different than ourselves are bad? No. But it sure does mean I know what its like to be there. The fat one. Feeling like the butt of their jokes every time you hear them laugh near you but can't quite make out what they are saying. If understanding what someone is trying to convey through the hurtful words they may use is wrong, then count me proud to be wrong.

Next time someone calls me a racial slur I'll be sure to look through their hurtful words to get the actual meaning.

Or does looking past hurtful words only count when it relates to things that make the person saying the hurtful crap feel bad? Or just when it's about things you've worked damn hard for, put time and sweat and god knows what else into VS the way you're born?

I'm slow so I need to know what hurtful words I look past and what ones I'm allowed to be offended by, based on how the person tossing out those hurtful words feels on the inside.



And, side note, I'm not offended by jokes about people feeling like they're in danger when they go on walks. Since I'm not offended by that no one else can be offended either, k?

I don't expect to understand everyone. Someone asked a questions and I simply responded, reflecting on my own life experiences as to why people would defend or understand. Commiserate even. Everyone has been given a different life and different challenges to overcome in it and most people wouldn't understand the challenges that you face or that I do. But approaching life from a standpoint of compassion (as much as I am able) is how I choose to live.

I'll be honest. I moved once because a neighbor used the N word in front of my kids once and I wasn't having it. This last year has been a fight where I get to try to make my daughter believe she is beautiful when nobody around her looks like her. She is 5 and feels like an outcast because she is different than the other kids. In my life this feeling has never really gone away. I left elementary school with many emotional scars that I still have to consciously fight against. Some people learn to hate themselves, others lash out.

If I ever manage to not be fat, I will be that "skinny" person who reaches out to the overweight that are trying and help to lift them up because I know what it is like to have been there, not the one yelling at them because they were embarrassed and hurting and lashed out in response to their pain. I am not saying her words were the best choices, but I can't claim I have never had similar thoughts myself. I dreaded events at my daughter's school. I dreaded being surrounded by those perfect, beautiful "yoga moms" who (at least in public) had all their ducks lined up and their husbands who earned enough they didn't have to work and who wouldn't even acknowledge me when I said "excuse me" as I tried to get past them to get to a seat to watch the kids perform. Nobody is perfect. Everyone judges on some degree. Anyone who claims otherwise is lying.

bottom line is I don't know why so many of you are getting so upset over a girl with insecurities. and all I said was that being overweight is definitely less accepted than being a normal weight is, therefore the insecurity will be at a higher level. i personally have been judged by said 'trophy wives' and 'meatheads' when i was running on a treadmill at almost 300 pounds. I've encountered people similar to those types on this forum as well. what makes them trophy wives and meatheads is NOT their body. its their mentality and attitude. so not every single person who is fit is gonna be one of those types. I've met plenty of MFP vets that have treated me with respect and others that have made me feel like a complete idiot for asking questions. i mean come on people really? the girl is obviously insecure and its ridiculous that some of you are trying to compare the stigma attached to being overweight to the stigma of being at a normal weight. everything about being at a normal weight is more favorable. better health, more energy, more confidence. its like saying "straight people get made fun of too" when talking about gay rights. whether anyone agrees or not, society has built a certain set of standards and at the time, its hard for people to ignore what society says and focus on themselves. but if we work together we can help each other realize that it really is whats inside that matters. i don't want to come off negatively but i just find it unfair the way OP is being slammed. saying 'i know it sounds stupid' and things of that nature clearly imply that shes not trying to state any hard facts or pass serious judgement

How about you look past the words those people who make you feel like an idiot use?

no, because there is no reason for people to act the way they do on here sometimes. I've asked before 'what are your favorite tips and tricks for newbies losing weight?" im not even a newbie, i just wanted to know what everyones favorite advice was and i got responses like 'get up off your *kitten* and move.' like really? and most of the people who tell me that are super fit and almost seem angry that they have to work so hard or something like i don't get it

Now see, those type of responses motivate me. Different people respond to different things and different people take different approaches. I need a kick in the ***. Heck, even mocking me works. Tell me I can't do it and I will do it for spite. Other people shut down at that type of motivation. A good coach or trainer can read their client and use the appropriate approach. The problem is, on a forum like this, you don't know who responds to what and it is hard to get a read on someone. In a thread like that you'll get the whole gammit of responses from the soft, cheerleader type responses to the hard line just do it responses. It doesn't mean they are angry. Take what you need and move on.

They sat there talking about their new wood floors and what they were going to do with their day now that the baby is in school, how they were going to teach yoga class and what kind of new huge suburban type thing they were going to get. I was noticed when I entered and was then treated like I was invisible... non existent... or something to disgust because I wasn't like them. I wasn't skinny like them. I wasn't fiscally well to do like them. I wast vegan like them. I wasn't (fill in the blank) like them. This is the world we live in. It sucks.