Fat people ambassador
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Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!
I couldn't agree more.
You can do it, OP. Don't let the negative hold you down and just do you!0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
You get some serious points in my book, whatever that's worth, for your brutally honest self awareness. A lot of people couldn't have written this post and copped to those feelings.
An attitude like this puts you closer toward the front of the pack of people who can conquer this thing, because obesity and delusion are often partners in crime.0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
Welcome back! I know you got a lot of advice. And I don't know what helps or doesn't for you. But I wanted to share something with you that I've learned. I used to think "Oh, I never get angry." But I do. I get very angry at *kitten* and jerks and, in particular, people with double standards. But I realized what I do is I don't rant, I don't kvetch. I channel that anger into determination and tenacity. It's almost like everything that makes me angry gets translated in my mind into a new challenge.
Jerk at the grocery story is insensitive about what's in my cart? That's a challenge for me to build tougher skin and be the "bigger person".
Completely ludicrous advertising or reality shows raising my ire? That's a challenge for me to watch less TV.
Family insensitivity/ignorance? That's a challenge for me to educate them on tolerance.
Anger is fine. Just focus it into productive activities that help you become a better, more tolerant, healthier citizen who contributes to the well being of society.0 -
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Thanks....
Hi OP - I Applaud you because you are introspective and you have the tools, the intellect, and I feel the guts to succeed.
Your comment about the IQ thing.
My father was really really smart, a member of Mensa, extremely well read, cultured, razor sharp wit. But he had some really messed ideas about health and fitness. He thought that because he read a lot of books people should see through the exterior and idolize him. He felt it was almost "beneath him" to stoop to the pedestrian levels of health and fitness - that was for only vapid shallow people.
He got diabetes, CPD, and a whole host of other weight related issues and died relatively early in his sixties.
His best friend told him very harshly once "Who gives a damn if you are this and that in the brains department when you can't master your own body and health!"
Good luck to you - and once again I applaud you on your post!
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I'm just gonna say this.
The worst thing you can do when trying to lose weight is be hyper-sensitive about things. You're gonna get comments you hate. You're gonna read things you don't like. You're going to hate other people and yourself on a regular basis.
If you get fired up about something, good, you're supposed to. But ranting is a waste of energy. Save it for the gym.
^^^ 100%
I definetly agree with this guy! Use all that pent up anger and sadness as fuel to help you acheive your goals. I not saying keep it in and get over it. No! What I am saying is that its okay to cry and get mad, but don't stay that way...Don't dwell in that dark place. It does no good and actually, in the long run, makes your situation worse. Prove the naysayers wrong!!!0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!
+fiddy0 -
Wow, a thread where the OP took the time to listen to the community and learn from it rather than to come back more combative than ever? Virtually unheard of!
OP: :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm just gonna say this.
The worst thing you can do when trying to lose weight is be hyper-sensitive about things. You're gonna get comments you hate. You're gonna read things you don't like. You're going to hate other people and yourself on a regular basis.
If you get fired up about something, good, you're supposed to. But ranting is a waste of energy. Save it for the gym.
Good answer Brett.0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!
+fiddy
Dude, Way to be accoutable. That's AWESOME! I love open minds and you are cool in my book!0 -
You think thats bad, imagine if you logged into a dating site and got this message
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Wow, a thread where the OP took the time to listen to the community and learn from it rather than to come back more combative than ever? Virtually unheard of!
OP: :flowerforyou:
The OP is going to make it! You GO OP! (No I did not write "You Goop" :laugh: ) 0 -
I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
It's interesting that you brought up jealousy, because I often get scathing looks from heavy people, comments like "it must be so nice to be skinny" as if this was the body I was born with. I've had to work damn hard...wait, correction, I WORK DAMN HARD to look this way. I've lost 52lbs this year. You really need to put jealousy behind you and just move forward with your own goals.
In your original post you brought up how people stare at you with pity (or obese people with pity) and you're right. I do that sometimes, (not the staring part, but the pitying part). I know how hard it was to lose the weight and I can't help but think about how much longer and harder the struggle will be when someone is starting from morbidly obese. So it's not that I necessarily pity the person, but I do pity the situation.
I will make one other comment about stereotyping that may not be well received, but whatever, going for it; last weekend I was grabbing groceries at the local Walmart and as I'm standing in line STARVING I thought to myself, why not hit the McD's right there and grab some lunch. As I stood waiting for the teller to finish I look over at McD's to see how busy it was and all I saw were overweight people....I know, that's probably not a fair thing to say, but it was enough to make me not want to go in there and eat. Now i'm not saying that all obese people eat McDonald's, but when you become conscious of everything you eat and start tracking your food and changing your eating habits you become more aware of all the contributing factors to your weight gain.
So in general, be careful what you say about thin people because one day it will be a cross you to will have to bear!
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Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
If I was handicapping your odds of success, this post just shortened them significantly. Well done.
Best of luck. :flowerforyou:0 -
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
You certainly came off as a clever person by your response to the feedback. You read and reflected and did an inventory and picked up what worked for you and what didn't. That is smart. A wise person will continue taking in knowledge. (I didn't come up with that saying).
You are right. Being overweight is not a sign of being an intellectual slouch. Just like with thin people, there are the geniuses and... (thinking of a nice word for it...) not so smart.
I am past shaming, blaming, and criticism myself or others. People are doing the best they can. I like what Maya Angelou put so well, "We do better when we know better." In fact, many who shame people think they are doing them a favor. (then there are also self serving bullies) But really, it is all wrong.
I thank you for your O.P. good job putting it out there. Not a mistake by any means.0 -
Thanks for coming back, OP.
Great follow up post.0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!
^^This.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Awesome...thanks for saying it!!!0
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Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
Huh well I have to say I am pleasently suprised. Cheers OP and best of luck. We all have our rough days, understood completely. The fact that this is your response to a lot of harsh critisisms of your original post speaks loads for your character and gives me faith that you are going to do alright in whatever you set your mind to.0
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